RackShelby moves a towel next to Beth’s hip. The woman appears unfazed. “There’s string and scissors in the bag. I’m going to drop them in the boiling water and I’ll be right back.” She leaves the room with one of the bags.Beth’s cry fills the room. Her face is filled with exertion. Things are moving so fast, but I’ll never forget how beautiful she is at this moment as she brings a new life into the world. Death is cold and ugly. This is a miracle.Shelby walks back in snapping directions like a drill sergeant.“I can see the baby’s head,” Linc shouts. “Push with the next contraction and we’ll see if he’s ready to join us.”“She,” Beth yells at him.“Okay, she,” he replies with an exasperated huff.Beth’s loud panting fills the room until her fingers relax on mine. I’m so damn proud of her for hanging on this long and keeping her cool. “Oh, God, oh, God,” she cries out.“Push, Beth,” I tell her. Her response is unintelligible. Shelby runs out and returns with a bowl of steaming wate

RackI can’t sort out the rambling thoughts in my head. I know what to do with anger and aggression. I’ve handled both more times than I care to count. These thoughts are different. Watching Beth nurse the baby is the loveliest, sexiest, and most precious thing I’ve ever witnessed. Not that I’m thinking sex while watching. No. I’m thinking family, settling down, and changing my life. It’s a joke I can’t laugh about. I’ve done too many terrible things and I’m not finished. Not even close.“You’ve got it bad, brother mine,” Linc says while rocking the baby. The child I haven’t held because even thinking about it makes my stomach twist into knots. There’s this yawning hole in my heart and if I touch him I don’t know if I could ever let go.Linc is destined to be a father. He’ll be wonderful at it—a great husband, drive a minivan, and do his best, even with his job, to never miss one of his kid’s games. Our father did the same. If Linc wasn’t holding the baby, I swear I’d deck him.Yes, I

RackI sleep beside Beth the following two nights. We don’t speak about her future and she never mentions the sleeping arrangements. I would move to the couch if she insisted. I lie to myself by thinking it’s safer for me to be in the room with her. So much remains unsaid and maybe that’s how our relationship will end.The baby sleeps next to the bed in a bassinet. The downside is that I lay awake longer than I should thinking about what it would be like if this were really my life. A wife, a child. A dream I never imagined. I only close my eyes when I’m too exhausted to keep them open.On day four at my brother’s house, I take my throwaway cell into the backyard and sit on the steps while Daisy does his business. He’s one of the oddest looking dogs imaginable with shepherd markings and the kinky curly hair of a standard poodle. The day after we arrived, Daisy and I had a serious problem when he tried humping my leg. Linc, the ass, snickered. Shelby stopped me from pummeling my brothe

RackI know Beth is worried, but she hangs in like a trouper. I told her a little about the Crows. Two years ago their help wouldn’t be an option. Each man riding behind us has spent time in prison. None of them transitioned easily. When Dax took over as president of the club, he had just rescued a child from being sold on the black market by the man he killed to gain leadership of the club. That child is the niece of the woman Gomez fell in love with. Without Dax’s help, I’ve no doubt the child would be dead now.After Dax killed the president of the Crows, he made sweeping changes. The biggest being acceptance of the Latina woman he fell in love with and married. You toe the line and follow Dax’s rules or you become part of the Arizona desert terrain in an unmarked grave. Dax and his club might be slightly domesticated now but the way they deal with trouble is similar to Moon’s approach and I don’t see that changing.Gomez is indebted to Dax for saving Celina’s niece, and Dax is ind

Rack“She’s in good condition and so is the baby considering neither has been examined since the child’s birth,” Carlo, also known as Dr. Santos, says scathingly. Santos is Moon’s friend. “Beth needs more fluids, which I spoke to her about. If you are still here in two weeks, I’ll get a new weight to make sure the baby is progressing normally. Beth told me your brother and his girlfriend helped deliver the baby via Google. I’m not usually one for practicing medicine found on the Internet but even I’ll admit they did a good job.” His stern voice lowers and his expression intensifies if that’s even possible. “I also told Beth no vaginal sex for four to six weeks after childbirth. I want to be sure you understand the consequences of possible infection if she isn’t healed properly.”We’re in the room Dax set up for me. It’s downstairs and little more than a closet. He talks straight and I’ve always respected him. How do I explain that Beth and I don’t have that type of relationship? I can