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CHAPTER 194

Beth

Pillows are behind my back and I’m nursing my hungry son. My nipples are sore, but I don’t care. I crave this closeness and need the comfort it brings.

Part of me wishes I hadn’t listened to Rack and Linc’s conversation. I’m incredibly foolish when it comes to men. It never occurred to me that Rack was anyone other than who my brother wrote me about—a good, solid man. Now I’m back to square one—in too far over my head with no way out.

Rack doesn’t believe I love him. Why should he? He has no idea I see him through my brother’s eyes. Nick conveyed his respect for Rack in every email he sent. It was easy for me to fantasize and turn Rack into a mythical god. It was so easy to form a crush on the man my brother handpicked. Nick made it clear that Rack was perfect for me. Then I met Kevin, a real person and not just some fantasy guy my brother gushed over.

I was angry with my brother too. Angry that he re-enlisted and returned for another tour of duty. Rebelling against Nick’s amazin
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