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CHAPTER 192

Author: Holly S Roberts
last update Last Updated: 2024-10-29 19:42:56

Beth

Diapers were on the list I gave Rack. I’ve never put a diaper on a newborn or realized how hard it is. Rack watches helplessly and I can see he’s further out of his comfort zone than I am. I figure out which way the diaper goes and slide it beneath his tiny bottom. The last thing I expect is the stream of warm pee that sprays upward and soaks me. Rack hands me a towel from the stack on the edge of the bed.

His lips curve up in a shameless smile. “It’s never too early to teach shooting straight.”

“Thanks, I think he’s got it down,” I say with a laugh. I finish attaching the small tabs. As first diapers go it’s a disaster of slightly crooked proportions.

I gaze at my son and feel such overwhelming love—lopsided diaper and all. Before giving birth I refused to consider having a boy. Now, within two hours of his arrival, I can’t imagine anything else. Linc loaned me a button shirt so I can breastfeed.

I’m tired, filled with joy, and terrified in equal measures. I was protective over
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    RackI can’t sort out the rambling thoughts in my head. I know what to do with anger and aggression. I’ve handled both more times than I care to count. These thoughts are different. Watching Beth nurse the baby is the loveliest, sexiest, and most precious thing I’ve ever witnessed. Not that I’m thinking sex while watching. No. I’m thinking family, settling down, and changing my life. It’s a joke I can’t laugh about. I’ve done too many terrible things and I’m not finished. Not even close.“You’ve got it bad, brother mine,” Linc says while rocking the baby. The child I haven’t held because even thinking about it makes my stomach twist into knots. There’s this yawning hole in my heart and if I touch him I don’t know if I could ever let go.Linc is destined to be a father. He’ll be wonderful at it—a great husband, drive a minivan, and do his best, even with his job, to never miss one of his kid’s games. Our father did the same. If Linc wasn’t holding the baby, I swear I’d deck him.Yes, I

  • Hotter Than Hell   CHAPTER 194

    BethPillows are behind my back and I’m nursing my hungry son. My nipples are sore, but I don’t care. I crave this closeness and need the comfort it brings.Part of me wishes I hadn’t listened to Rack and Linc’s conversation. I’m incredibly foolish when it comes to men. It never occurred to me that Rack was anyone other than who my brother wrote me about—a good, solid man. Now I’m back to square one—in too far over my head with no way out.Rack doesn’t believe I love him. Why should he? He has no idea I see him through my brother’s eyes. Nick conveyed his respect for Rack in every email he sent. It was easy for me to fantasize and turn Rack into a mythical god. It was so easy to form a crush on the man my brother handpicked. Nick made it clear that Rack was perfect for me. Then I met Kevin, a real person and not just some fantasy guy my brother gushed over.I was angry with my brother too. Angry that he re-enlisted and returned for another tour of duty. Rebelling against Nick’s amazin

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    RackI sleep beside Beth the following two nights. We don’t speak about her future and she never mentions the sleeping arrangements. I would move to the couch if she insisted. I lie to myself by thinking it’s safer for me to be in the room with her. So much remains unsaid and maybe that’s how our relationship will end.The baby sleeps next to the bed in a bassinet. The downside is that I lay awake longer than I should thinking about what it would be like if this were really my life. A wife, a child. A dream I never imagined. I only close my eyes when I’m too exhausted to keep them open.On day four at my brother’s house, I take my throwaway cell into the backyard and sit on the steps while Daisy does his business. He’s one of the oddest looking dogs imaginable with shepherd markings and the kinky curly hair of a standard poodle. The day after we arrived, Daisy and I had a serious problem when he tried humping my leg. Linc, the ass, snickered. Shelby stopped me from pummeling my brothe

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    BethI somehow get lucky and Carson sleeps the rest of the way. I’m able to doze for about an hour. Rack pulls into a fast food drive-thru the first time I complain I’m hungry. Having him take care of me has become a habit I need to break. He is a habit I need to break.I eat the fries and burger but go light on the soda because I’m hoping not to stop for another bathroom break. Living this past week without pregnancy bladder has been great and the soreness from giving birth is gone too. Shelby purchased me some jeans a size larger than I wore before becoming pregnant and I managed to slip them on before leaving today. Unfortunately, they’re still tight and it’s made for an uncomfortable drive.The scenery changes when we head through the mountains. This isn’t what I expected in Arizona. The tall pine trees and milder weather are welcome. It’s not green in the way Montana is but the beauty is undeniable. Another hour goes by and we descend from the higher elevation. Rack cranks up the

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    Rack“She’s in good condition and so is the baby considering neither has been examined since the child’s birth,” Carlo, also known as Dr. Santos, says scathingly. Santos is Moon’s friend. “Beth needs more fluids, which I spoke to her about. If you are still here in two weeks, I’ll get a new weight to make sure the baby is progressing normally. Beth told me your brother and his girlfriend helped deliver the baby via Google. I’m not usually one for practicing medicine found on the Internet but even I’ll admit they did a good job.” His stern voice lowers and his expression intensifies if that’s even possible. “I also told Beth no vaginal sex for four to six weeks after childbirth. I want to be sure you understand the consequences of possible infection if she isn’t healed properly.”We’re in the room Dax set up for me. It’s downstairs and little more than a closet. He talks straight and I’ve always respected him. How do I explain that Beth and I don’t have that type of relationship? I can

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    Vampire gives a low whistle. “She’s one hot mamma.”It takes a few seconds for me to understand he’s talking about Beth. To say my hackles go up is an understatement. Doesn’t matter that I have no right to be jealous. She had a baby a week ago and the small bulge at her belly makes her sexier in my opinion. From Vampire’s words it’s his opinion too. I bend low over the table to take my shot and glance up before my stick connects with the ball. “Look at her again and I’ll cram this stick up your ass.” I’m not smiling.Vampire lifts his chin. “Duly noted.”Dax puts up with no bullshit when it comes to the club women, even the ones who live here and make their living by sleeping with the members. That’s Sofia’s influence more than anyone’s. I tuck my head and make the next three shots, sinking the eight ball last. “I believe we’re even. Care for best two out of three?”Vampire rubs his chin. “You’re on, but I have the strangest feeling you’ve been holding back on your game.” He racks the

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    Cori“How is Mr. Grumpy today?” Mak asked. She had her overprotective Pitbull at her side. I hadn’t seen Two-dogs since I arrived with Duke. I contained myself to the kitchen and Duke’s room. Two-dogs stayed out of Gabriella’s domain because the two of them stayed at war over what was permissible and what was not. I secretly thought Gabriella slipped the dog treats when no one watched but I had no way to prove it. I guess her new kindness made me think she was something other than Attila the Hun. I needed to watch those stupid fantasies.With assistance, Duke had made it downstairs for this morning’s physical therapy. He refused pain meds afterward and fell asleep exhausted. It gave me time to do something normal. I’d quietly left the room and gone to the outside patio to escape. The heat, even with the water misters, would make it too hot to stay for long but it was nice to be outside.I blinked at Mak who carried a towel. She took the lounge chair beside mine.“He’s sleeping. I’m es

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    DukeMy biggest problem was boredom. It almost went hand in hand with people poking and prodding constantly. I didn’t live at the clubhouse for a reason. If it weren’t for Cori, I would have found a way to escape Moon’s place the first day. Maybe. I was fooling myself. The ability to lift a spoon to my lips was pushing things.I remembered little about what happened at Wild Fur. Between blood loss and the damage to my stomach, I should have died in oblivion. Things were foggy since waking too. I remembered telling Cori I loved her. It just came out. I hadn’t practiced speaking in years. It was something I did when younger when no one was around. I never felt comfortable with the sound of my voice and eventually decided it wasn’t necessary. That was true until Cori. There were things she needed to hear. Cori hadn’t asked me to speak since it happened. I doubted she even understood what I’d said.My grandfather took me in when my dad went to prison for almost killing me. They were the b

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    CoriThe air in the room was soft if that were even a thing. There were four rows of chairs. There was a podium at the front. No crucified Jesus hung from the wall, only a large framed needlepoint with writing.“Enter in peace and leave your sorrow.”I sat in the front row and bowed my head. My prayer was to Jesus.“I’ve never asked for anything.”Tears gathered in my eyes and turned to sobs. I couldn’t go on and fell apart. So many thoughts tumbled through my head. I was the whore of Babylon. If there were a man who would hear me, it would be Jesus.“Please,” was all I managed the next time I tried.The quiet settled over me and I inhaled in and out slowly. Within a few minutes, I wiped my tears. The room, like Duke with his silence, gave me peace. It also gave me strength.I went back to ICU and held his hand again. He wouldn’t die because I wouldn’t let him. I spoke to him quietly and assured him all would be okay. I spoke of silly things. I had to keep the connection so he knew I

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    CoriIt took us more than three hours to get back to the city and another hour through rush-hour traffic to get to Wild Fur. Moon sent his men in first and stayed with me in the SUV. Alex and Austin were with the other women at his compound. Moon didn’t want them here. He’d also left a vehicle behind with four men on Duke’s property to dispose of the bodies.The men cleared inside the Wild Fur quickly. There were two female employees cleaning and handling inventory. The place didn’t open until eight at night. They weren’t harmed and they were assured they could leave after we found Duke. The men hadn’t located him when they cleared the building. Moon and I entered and were shown the entrance to the basement.A light had been turned on. It looked no better than the club upstairs. I saw a rat scurry along the wall. Moon found the hidden door within a few minutes. He pried it open and we entered the dark room.The smell of excrement and death hit us.Death.I couldn’t breathe.In the sha

  • Hotter Than Hell   CHAPTER 325

    CoriDuke never left my thoughts. If he was dead, so was I. My life changed that fast. We hadn’t known each other long and it didn’t matter. He was everything I wanted and most of all he was someone who loved me for who I was. I knew he loved me. He shared his silent world and refused to take advantage when he could have. From the time his arms wrapped around me in the car after my escape from Fernandez, we belonged together.My past didn’t matter to him because he lived in a world where endurance and hard work were part of life. Duke and the men like him respected survival.Moon brought more firepower than required and the guns we’d pulled from the cave weren’t exactly needed. I decided to stick with Duke’s weapons because he made sure I was familiar with them. A piece of him was with me.Our plan had been to ambush the vehicles a mile before the entrance to the property. Alex moved the attack to the house. I wasn’t worried about Cartwright’s men knowing the location. None would leav

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