All Chapters of The Journey Collection: Chapter 31 - Chapter 40

Less than a week later, we were on our way to Laredo to have the procedure done. Thank God none of this had taken place in Mason Belle; everyone in town would know every detail of what we were going through. As it was, it had been hard to keep Jack from sniffing around, and I hated lying to him about where we were going and why. But my loyalty was to Sarah, not her dad. The ride there had been quiet, and when we finally arrived, we sat in the parking lot for a long time. We were early, and I knew Sarah wouldn't want to be inside any longer than she had to, so I put the truck in park and left the air running. I hadn't really known what we were getting into and worried that we'd face protestors, but this appeared to be just like any other doctor's office. "You okay?" It was a stupid question that I already knew the answer to. She stared at the entrance of the office and flattened her lips in disapproval. "Just thinking." Her chest heaved, and she took several

There wasn't a lot of time to plan a wedding if I wanted to have one before I started to show. Thankfully, just like with everything else in Mason Belle, when a need arose, the town pulled together to make it happen. This was no different. Without Mama here to plan, several of the ladies stepped up, and Charlie's mom stepped in. There was nothing like a wedding to make me love or hate my future mother-in-law. Thankfully, Jessica and I clicked, and she filled in all the gaps that my mother had left. I'd never dreamed of anything over-the-top, but I still wanted elegant-simple. I'd grown up in a small town, and we just did things a certain way here. Charlie and I had debated between Cross Acres and the tree where the rivers came together at Twin Creeks. Ultimately, we decided on the spot at the Burins'. There was just something so fitting about having our wedding where two vessels met and became one, and I loved that tree. The unfortunate part of living in a smaller than

I stared at him, not knowing what to say. I was terrified before we'd walked into that exam room. I worried every day that I'd made the wrong decision, but I'd kept the faith that God would take care of me-of us. I tried to block out the possibility of what dying really meant or what kind of burden being paralyzed would place on Charlie, especially with an infant. That had been with the notion of one baby. I couldn't fathom or even conceive of what kind of drain I would be to Charlie if I survived. There was no way one man could take care of a wife and two babies and a farm on his own. "I don't know what to do, Charlie." My voice sounded as broken as I felt. He shifted in the seat and took my face in his hands. Green started to ebb its way into the brown the longer I stared into my husband's eyes. "Baby, think about the strain this is going to put on your body. I didn't want you to take the risk with one-but two? It's just not worth..." He was losing his composure.

Charlie had remained relatively quiet for the last two days. We both knew nothing would ever be the same, yet we weren't talking about it. Neither of us admitted it out loud. Now, walking into Dr. Nesbit's surgery center, the wound had festered until puss poured from it. It was infected, and it had the power to kill us. I kept trying to tell myself that this would all start to go away once we got through today, but it was a lie. Nothing would ever right this decision. The wrong could never be undone. He had held my hand as we made it through the parking lot. It was still dark out, and dew glistened on the flowers near the door. I'd managed to get the first appointment of the day, and while this wasn't an abortion clinic, I was worried that everyone would know why we were here. My shame was amplified by the cover of night, and the drops of water on the grass only reminded me of things that were made anew...every day. If only I had faith the size of a mustard seed... I sighed an

"No offense, Charlie." When Austin spoke like that, I knew we were about to fight, and when guys fought, it resulted in punches being thrown not just insults. My little brother had bulked up in recent weeks with all the work he did at Cross Acres, but I still had a solid two inches, twenty pounds, and six years on him. I had been in the process of pulling a shard of metal from the thick rubber of my work boots. I didn't know how it had gotten there; I only knew it pissed me off every time I took a step, and if I weren't careful, it would find its way into my heel. I looked up at him from where I sat when he spoke but didn't say anything in return. I just wrenched the pliers I held and tugged on the boot again. Austin sat down at the table. "When are you going back?" I finally yanked the damn shard free from my shoe and tossed the pliers onto my parents' kitchen table. Then I stared at the hole left in my boot like it held some significance. "I don't know what