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Chapter 35:Sarah
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2022-10-26 14:22:02Related chapters
The Journey Collection Chapter 36: Sarah
The number was typed in, and I held the phone between both hands. Each time the screen dimmed, I'd touch it to bring it back to life, but I'd yet to press call. I'd battled this war in my mind non-stop since we'd left Dr. Nesbit's office. The only part of me that wanted to do this was the part of me that wanted to live. The rest of me argued vehemently with myself. Death terrified me almost as bad as living a life without mobility. Charlie was right. I knew he was right. Everything he had said, sitting in the parking lot at the doctor's office was spot on. But that didn't stop the images of two heads and two little spines popping into my mind. Prior to the ultrasound, the pregnancy was a notion-it wasn't a child. Now it wasn't just a child; it was two. They were very real and very much alive inside me. But as soon as I'd resigned myself to telling Charlie I couldn't go through with it, I thought about what it would be like for them not to have a mother. I knew that pain
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Journey Collection Chapter 37: Sarah
Charlie had remained relatively quiet for the last two days. We both knew nothing would ever be the same, yet we weren't talking about it. Neither of us admitted it out loud. Now, walking into Dr. Nesbit's surgery center, the wound had festered until puss poured from it. It was infected, and it had the power to kill us. I kept trying to tell myself that this would all start to go away once we got through today, but it was a lie. Nothing would ever right this decision. The wrong could never be undone. He had held my hand as we made it through the parking lot. It was still dark out, and dew glistened on the flowers near the door. I'd managed to get the first appointment of the day, and while this wasn't an abortion clinic, I was worried that everyone would know why we were here. My shame was amplified by the cover of night, and the drops of water on the grass only reminded me of things that were made anew...every day. If only I had faith the size of a mustard seed... I sighed an
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Journey Collection Chapter 38: Charlie
Not once in my life had I ever experienced rage so strong that I had to force myself to keep my mouth shut and then isolate myself to temper it. But that was exactly what I'd felt driving back from Dr. Nesbit's office. I forced myself to drive the speed limit. I refused to let a word slip passed my lips because nothing I said would be nice much less loving, comforting, or supportive. Sarah was being reckless and irrational, and I'd be damned if I could keep from telling her just how selfish I believed her actions to be. So, when we'd gotten home, I left her in the living room and made my way to our bedroom. While she thought she was doing the noble thing, she hadn't considered what life for those kids would be like without her. I'd resent the hell out of them for taking her from me. It might be a dick move, but it was the truth. She hadn't thought about us at all in making her decision, only her guilt. Sarah wasn't the one who'd be left to clean up the mess she could leave beh
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Journey Collection Chapter 39: Charlie
"No offense, Charlie." When Austin spoke like that, I knew we were about to fight, and when guys fought, it resulted in punches being thrown not just insults. My little brother had bulked up in recent weeks with all the work he did at Cross Acres, but I still had a solid two inches, twenty pounds, and six years on him. I had been in the process of pulling a shard of metal from the thick rubber of my work boots. I didn't know how it had gotten there; I only knew it pissed me off every time I took a step, and if I weren't careful, it would find its way into my heel. I looked up at him from where I sat when he spoke but didn't say anything in return. I just wrenched the pliers I held and tugged on the boot again. Austin sat down at the table. "When are you going back?" I finally yanked the damn shard free from my shoe and tossed the pliers onto my parents' kitchen table. Then I stared at the hole left in my boot like it held some significance. "I don't know what
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Journey Collection Chapter 40: Sarah
I knew pregnancy was going to have a lot of ups and downs, but no one was really good at telling me what to expect. I was having large and small complications, not to mention continued insurance issues that I finally gave up on and took to Daddy. He swore he'd get it taken care of and that he'd gotten behind on payments while I was hospitalized. The next time we'd gone to Dr. Nesbit's office, Daddy told me it had all been handled, and when I called Megan, she confirmed that the bills were taken care of. I had come close to getting mastitis. One of my milk ducts became blocked, but it formed a cyst on the side of my breast instead, which eventually drained and left behind a painful mark that was deep enough to scar. And as the doctors had predicted, the further along I got, the more strain the additional weight put on my spine. Everything I'd been warned about plagued me, but it was the ongoing blood pressure issues that had raised the red flags and set off all the warning bell
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Journey Collection Chapter 41: Sarah
"Charlie..." I tried to keep the panic out of my voice, but I could feel the sticky moisture on my thighs and under my bottom. My voice climbed with every passing second and syllable out of my mouth. "Charlie!" Charlie stirred in the bed next to me, but he hadn't fully woken up. I had my hand resting firmly on my stomach, but each wave of pain brought tears to my eyes. I didn't want to press too hard because it hurt, but as I cradled my belly in my hands, I worried that if I let go, my insides would come falling out. My head was pounding, I couldn't catch my breath, and I would have sworn someone had sliced me open and the babies were going to deliver themselves. The third time I called his name, Charlie's eyes fluttered open and then suddenly became alert. "What's wrong?" He sat up, now wild-eyed, searching my face and reaching for me. "Sarah?" He threw back the bedspread and then turned on the lamp. His ruffled hair fell into his face, and I noticed his cheek was re
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Journey Collection Chapter 42: Charlie
The nurse had practically dragged me away as they prepped Sarah, for what I wasn't sure. Another woman joined the lady who'd pulled me away from my wife, but I only heard bits and pieces of what she had to say as she shoved paperwork at me. "Mr. Burin, I know this is a lot to take in, but the babies aren't going to wait. I need you to sign the forms." I nearly dropped the clipboard and pen as I tried to form a sentence. "Wait? What do you mean? Sarah's nowhere near her due date." By nowhere, I meant weeks...like eleven or twelve of them. The nurse who had pulled me away gave the one who'd joined us a sympathetic glance before she turned remorseful eyes to me. "An emergency C-section is the best hope for all of them." I couldn't swallow. My throat had completely closed, and I was struggling to even breathe. The worst that could have happened was happening, and I was stuck in the middle of it-alone. I stared at the paper in my hand and
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Journey Collection Chapter 43: Charlie
There was a knock that startled me. There wasn't anyone in the NICU other than the nurses, and none of them spoke. It was the middle of the night, and the hospital was fairly quiet. This ward was dead silent. The babies didn't cry, and other than the machines that beeped or pulsed around me, there was nothing. I glanced over my shoulder to find the nurse who'd brought me up here, and the shine in her eyes wasn't nearly as bright as it had been when she'd asked me about meeting the girls. So I waited for her to speak. "Sarah's out of surgery. We'll be moving her to recovery shortly." I didn't know what to do. I couldn't take the twins with me, but I couldn't stand here, either. They were too little to be left alone, and I couldn't be in two places at one time. I glanced at the incubator and then back at the lady in scrubs, unsure of what the right decision was. "I think your family would like to see your little girls." She read my mind, and I wanted to h
Last Updated : 2022-10-26
Latest chapter
The Journey Collection Chapter 105: Jack-Epilogue-Five years later
I threw the truck in park, glanced at the clock, and then jumped out, slamming the door behind me. It had been over an hour since I'd gotten the call, and I hadn't been able to reach Austin since. My feet refused to carry me as fast as I wanted them to move, and the second I made it inside the emergency room, I came to a halt. A flood of memories hit me, and they weren't the good kind.The last time I'd stood in this room, I was blind with rage. It was also the day Austin became a man, and I lost my little girl to the person who owned her heart. It took guts for him to step in front of her that day. Almost as much as it took for him to confront me when he got back from New York. I'd hoped that day would never come, but I prayed for it all the same. In order to atone for a sin, I had to confess it...and then deal with the punishment. Austin had made damn certain I understood that if I ever raised a hand to Randi again, there wouldn't be a hound in the world who'd sniff out my remains.
The Journey Collection Chapter 104: Austin
My phone rang for the fourth time since I'd left for work this morning. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face seeing Randi's name flash across my screen. Her calls came at inconvenient times, but damn if it didn't make my day. I slid my hand from the glove I was wearing to swipe my finger across the screen. "Hey, sweetheart." "What are you doing?" The boredom in her voice was palpable, and it caused me to snicker when I responded."I'm working. The same thing I was doing the other three times you called.""Oh... I'm sorry. I'll let you go."I tucked the phone between my shoulder and my ear so I could talk to her and at least make it appear like I was working to anyone who might see me. "Everything okay?" "Yeah, I'm just bored."We'd had this conversation several times in the last few days. "Why don't you get out of the house? Go into town. If nothing else, go grocery shopping." She was afraid of the reactions she'd get without me, Sarah, or Jack at he
The Journey Collection Chapter 103: Austin
There'd never been a day in all the years I'd been coming to Cross Acres that I'd dreaded it. Even when Randi had shown up unexpectedly, it was never the ranch I didn't want to be near. For years, this place had been my solace. Today, however, I had to have a conversation I wasn't keen on having with a man I'd respected my entire life. Not even the sound of the gravel under my tires soothed the ache in my chest.I'd debated on whether or not to go straight to the farmhouse or get the guys out working before I pulled Jack aside. I'd opted for the second. If there were a scene, no one needed to be around to witness it. I didn't care if Jack had deeded the ranch over to me; this was still his home, and these men respected him.It had taken me a little over an hour to get everyone out of earshot, and once I had, I climbed the steps to the front porch. At a little after six, there was no doubt in my mind Jack was awake-it was in his blood. He'd get up when the rooster crowed for the res
The Journey Collection Chapter 102: Miranda
The four-day drive back to Mason Belle turned into seven. Austin and I used the time to catch up; although, not a lot had gone on in either of our lives. Our greatest sticking point had been my relationship with Eason. It took a FaceTime call to him and Garrett to get Austin to relax about the security of our friendships. By the time we'd hung up, Garrett had Austin howling with laughter and Eason shaking his head in the background. Austin and Eason would need to get to know each other, and that could happen over time. For now, they seemed to appreciate what the other brought to my life and left the mutual understanding at that.After stopping at the airport to pick up his truck, we arrived at Austin's house before lunch, and he'd insisted we go inside to eat before he went to Cross Acres. Unable to convince him that food and a nervous stomach didn't make a happy union, I gave in. It dawned on me that it wasn't his refrigerator he wanted to show off. Austin was proud of the two-story
The Journey Collection Chapter 101: Miranda
Every inch of my body coiled, and each step I took required more effort than the last. I'd left Austin to explore New York-well, the bagel shop at the corner-while I went to have a conversation with my best friend and boss. My stiletto-clad foot slipped on the marble floors in the lobby, and an older gentleman kindly prevented my fall. Heat rose in my cheeks, and embarrassment gripped what little hold I had on reality. "Don't worry, sweetheart. Happens to me all the time." He lifted his hand, and a nervous giggle passed my lips. Even at his age, he was spry, and I found humor in the cane he showed off with pride. I wondered if women found that attractive later in life, although I didn't ask. Instead, I patted his hand and thanked him. He then shooed off my apology. "A girl as pretty as you, the pleasure was all mine." Yeah, this guy definitely played the geriatric field. The man straightened his suit jacket, tipped his cane to the up arrow, and then pressed the button to ca
The Journey Collection Chapter 100: Miranda
It took me a moment to recognize the arms wrapped around me and realize the heat behind me wasn't a blazing inferno I needed to escape before the house burned to the ground. In the haze of waking, last night was more like a dream than reality, and his embrace reminded me that life didn't always follow an expected path. I wiggled free without rousing him and rolled to my side. As soon as I did, I regretted losing the comfort that being close to him provided. Although, the view made up for the loss of contact. Austin's disheveled hair gave him a boyish appeal in direct contrast to the maturity that age had given his body. My heart swelled, knowing I could think about him and not feel like a dagger had pierced my chest. He had the capacity to forgive, and despite the unknowns, that trait had the power to heal. Couple it with devotion and love, and somehow, we would get through this together. Austin stirred in front of me, and my picture of perfection came to life when he moved. His
The Journey Collection Chapter 99: Austin
We had talked late into the night. I didn't know where her roommate was, but I was glad he hadn't interrupted. Eason would throw a monkey wrench into any progress I made once she realized she hadn't factored him into the equation. By the time she had convinced me to spend the night, I didn't have a commitment from her to come home with me. She had, however, admitted that she wanted to be together. If that meant I needed to sell my house in Mason Belle and relocate to New York, then I'd do what I had to do. Life without Randi was no longer an option.She held my hand and led me down a dark hallway and up a flight of stairs. Randi didn't bother flicking on a light until we stepped into her room. Her life had changed drastically while she'd been in New York. Her family had money by Mason Belle standards-at least they had while she lived there-but she lived in luxury here. Her bedroom was the size of my den and kitchen combined, her king-sized bed overflowed with pillows, and while I did
The Journey Collection Chapter 98: Austin
I'd made it this far without nerves taking over or second-guessing my trip, not even on the flight from hell where I swore the masks were going to fall out of the overhead compartment at any given moment. Oddly, I'd been most apprehensive over leaving my truck in an uncovered parking lot at the airport. Now, standing on Miranda and Eason's doorstep, I hesitated to lift my fist to knock.For two days, I'd tried to reach Miranda, and for two days her phone went to voicemail, even after I assumed she'd gone back to work. That same lost feeling I'd experienced when she left the first time had returned, except this time, I wasn't willing to accept her decision as my fate. I didn't ask Sarah where she lived. I didn't talk to Jack about where I was going when I told him I needed a couple of days off. Not even my parents were aware I'd left the state. I made the choice to chase her, and no outside influence would alter my plans, so there was no point in discussing it. It proved a tad diff
The Journey Collection Chapter 97: Austin
I'd expected her to call. After the things Miranda had admitted, I thought she'd use my number when she got up. The minutes and hours barely moved on the clock. Exhausted wasn't a good way to spend a day on a ranch. The work was physical, the sun was brutal, and I needed it to end. Hearing from Miranda would have broken up the monotony, and I'd hoped the two of us could sit down to talk. The few hours of rest I'd had last night were spent mulling over every word she'd said. The things she had confessed brought on more questions than answers. I doubted I wanted the answers, but in the end, I'd need them. Since she hadn't called, it was clear, I would have to force the conversation. She needed to get her rental car from The Hut which gave me an excuse to be alone with her without making an issue out of it.But when I got back to the barn, the only vehicles there were mine and Brock's. I'd successfully avoided him all day, and if I played my cards right, I'd get out unnoticed. I didn
