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All Chapters of A bad boy : Chapter 31 - Chapter 40

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31

The next morning Colton and I got up super early to watch the sunrise, the sun wasn't up yet but we left the house and headed to the beach. The sand under my feet felt freezing cold, I was wearing a beach dress and he was wearing knee length shorts and no shirt.-I love you," he says, holding my hand, "I want this day to be special for both of us," he takes me by the waist and kisses me on the lips. It was a warm and tender kiss. Yesterday was over, I honestly didn't want to keep stressing about those things. I trusted Colton.-I love you, Colton," I wrapped my arms around his neck, "I'm telling you this in all sincerity.-Yesterday I didn't get to tell you what I had planned to tell you," we both sat on the sand, starting to watch the sunlight slowly rise.-What was it? -I looked at him.-Well," he took my hand, "I know this place is beautiful because of the sea and the sand, but I wanted to know if you would be willing to move to another city with me," he proposed.I looked at him s

32

A bad boy /Jade F. C. J

I have always said: things happen for a reason. And since it seems that life doesn't want to see me with anyone, that's why I don't have a boyfriend. It's not that I don't have any suitors, but that none of those who are after me, I like them.I don't know if it's me or what, but there is no one who makes me feel butterflies in my stomach or makes me nervous just by his presence. Maybe God has something really good in store for me. That's why I haven't found that person yet. I want to talk to you. He says in a deep voice.Keneth Williams: sporty, handsome, good body. Any girl would be willing to go out with him.And what could we possibly talk about? I fold my arms. He has nice eyes.He shrugs his shoulders. Anyone would think he's nervous.一I don't know, a-anything一. He stammers.I'd love to go out with him. But I know myself. If I liked him I'd be shaking and stuttering, feeling those butterflies in my stomach. I realize I don't feel anything.一Maybe another day, okay?一. I smiled

33

A bad boy /Jade F. C. J

There are days when I wish I didn't get out of bed at all. Today is one of those days. It's Sunday. You're supposed to rest on Sundays, but no, I have a little girl to take care of. But, that's even at night. As it's now ten o'clock in the morning, I have to go to the supermarket. My mother works every day, even on Sundays, well, only on Wednesdays she rests.I took a shopping cart and started to walk through the white aisles. I almost skated because it was so slippery. While shopping I like to listen to music, that's why I put my headphones on, start singing it down low:一I know how it inside my heart, forever will forever be, even if we tride to forget, love will remember.I filled the cart with: milk, cereal, apples, pringles, strawberries, cupcakes. A little bit of everything. Just as I was about to turn a corner, my cart collided with another one, causing some of the things it was carrying to fall over. I immediately rushed to pick them up.一Forgive me, I didn't see you一. I was a

34

A bad boy /Jade F. C. J

I didn't think I would ever feel again what people in love feel: the nervousness, the butterflies in my stomach, even stuttering. I didn't plan it, it just happened. What I would have liked is to have met Antonio before Estefania, but, well, he and she are very much in love. And I'm just an inexperienced teenager who still sleeps with a teddy bear and is even afraid of the dark.Love is about accepting yourself for who you are, I mean, how are you going to love someone else if you don't even love yourself? Sometimes I don't think I'm ready to love yet, that's why I haven't fallen in love yet, time is giving me time to prepare myself, to prepare myself for when it's my time, for when that person comes, for when I don't have that shame, that embarrassment that I always have when it comes to a guy. I am not ready yet and, I am thankful that the right guy has not arrived because then I will not be ashamed of myself.About three minutes ago Antonio and Estefania came out. They don't even m

35

A bad boy /Jade F. C. J

I always thought that in my life interesting things didn't happen to me, I even wished for them, I wished for something really good to happen to me, something like in the movies, but this is real life, and believe me, I don't like it at all. I don't like knowing that I can be hurt and even abused.I was struggling with him, I was trying to remove his hands from my mouth, but it was impossible, it is obvious that he is stronger. Tears were flowing down my cheeks like a waterfall, I was moaning as hard as I could to be heard. I thought this was the end of me, but then this happened:一Hey, let her go!一. Antonio shouted.God, what a relief that he showed up.一Don't interfere一. my assailant shouted.一I said let her go一. His voice sounded authoritative, furious. The man, taking heed, threw me to the ground.I could breathe better. However, it wasn't over yet. The offender pulled out a knife, pointing it at Antonio. Oh. Oh, my. Oh, my God. I don't want him to get hurt. What do I do? Call the

36

A bad boy /Jade F. C. J

As I grew up, my life became more and more complicated: the stage of adolescence, my first period, mood swings, feelings for a boy, dissatisfaction with your body. I went through many things, my first love was my worst mistake, I was devastated by him, but those are things that today I don't want to remember; I made several mistakes, yes, but that's what life is about and I don't want to live my whole life with fear, because otherwise, I won't enjoy my life; I will grow old and I won't have adventurous or crazy memories, I want to enjoy my youth, but in a healthy way, of course.In a few months I will enter university. I will go far away, I will only come for vacations and Christmas; I will leave this, my friends, my mom, Antonio, it will be good to get away from him, the change will be good, I hope so.At this moment, I go to Taísa's house, my best friend. She lives a little far from my house, but we are always in contact; she visits me, I visit her and so on. I'm walking too slowly,

37

A bad boy /Jade F. C. J

I have never liked to give shows in the middle of the streets or in public. I have always been cautious about these things. But today, I don't know why I got carried away, correction, I don't know why I'm getting carried away. Jason kissed me and I'm following the kiss. He's not a bad kisser but, I don't feel anything. I would like to feel something, anything. Maybe yes, I'm doing this because, Antonio, he's right in front of us and it's possible he's watching us. What do I get out of it? make him jealous? show him I don't care? why? He hasn't shown me that he has any feelings for me, has he?We separated slowly. Now I feel bad, I'm giving him wings to keep bothering me and insisting. Now it's going to get much worse, he's going to move away from me.I looked at Antonio... Who is now looking at us, that look is.... I simply can't describe it, his jaw is clenched. Estefania, she is also looking at us.一Fabiana...I divert my gaze to Jason, he's still with his eyes closed, his face is g

38

A bad boy /Jade F. C. J

In the course of the days, I have observed that Antonio is avoiding me. I can’t help but feel a void within me, pain, disappointment, hopelessness. When I feel like I like someone, I can’t be with that person. Love is very complicated. I hate love. 一 And then he told me we’re going camping...I’m with Taísa and Clarisa in my room. Let’s just say I’m not paying much attention to them. 一 Fabiana! 一. Taísa took me out of my trance. 一 Sorry, I didn’t hear you... What were you saying?She glared at me. Clarisa was smiling and looking at her phone. 一 I was telling you about how my boyfriend invited us to go camping.Go camping or something? 一 Where? 一. I frowned. 一 Somewhere in the mountains... can you imagine? It would be amazing. It sounds excited. Mountains? Will there be bears? Wolves? Oh, God. 一 Are there wild animals? 一. I hurried to ask. She shook her head. 一 I don’t think so. Clarisa stopped texting and joined us. 一 Who is Iran? 一. Clarisa asks. I looked at Taísa, who h

39

A bad boy /Jade F. C. J

The next morning I woke up at about 6:30 am, packed my suitcase, packed everything I needed. My mom was in the kitchen having breakfast; yesterday I had to go wake her up to tell her about her trip, she just accepted and told me to take care of her.一What time will they pick you up?一. Ask. We were having breakfast. From the nerves, I wasn't even hungry.一At 8It was 7:30, each time my nervousness increases more and more. Antonio will go, he will go. I will have to act as natural as possible. Natural. As if I could. I shook my plate and put it in the sink. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I took my bags down and sat on the sofa to wait.一I'm leaving, Fabiana. You call me as soon as you arrive, okay?I nodded. Mom left the house, leaving me alone and nervous. Why does this have to happen to me? what did I do? why Antony? because the? I would have preferred to fall in love with someone else, someone who was free, without commitments.A car horn outside my house makes my heart

40

A bad boy /Jade F. C. J

6 hours later..."Oh my God, my butt hurts," Clarisa complains.We had arrived, we parked the truck in a store where the cabin was rented, Zac went down to get the key and buy a few things to eat. Jason fell asleep on my shoulder. I did not dare to see Antonio these last 6 hours, he went down with Zac.一Are you okay?一Tai asks me.一Yes, of courseHe faked a smile. I'm really not okay. I want to go home. My mom comes to mind, I have to call her, there's no signal to the cabin we're going to, it's better to do it here and now. I pull my phone out of my front pants pocket, punch in Mom's number, and put it to my ear. It doesn't take long to answer.一Say...一Mom, it's me, I'm talking to tell you that we're arriving, alive.一Thank God, how is it there? it's nice? Fabiana, ask if there are no wild animals... They have to be careful.I smile at the crazy things mom says.一Everything is very beautiful, it's a bit cold. I don't think there are any wild animals, and when I'm in the cabin I won't

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