All Chapters of How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis : Chapter 181 - Chapter 190

Was announcing the attack a good idea? Probably not. The attack in general served little purpose. The plan was already near completion. Even if they stopped now, the stalactites were bound to fall eventually. The climbers chipping away at them were cutting wedges like lumberjacks and had gone in quite far already. It was only a matter of time for them to turn into splash mountain.The warning was enough for Sonny to sidestep out of the way and roll Marv past, leaving her heading for an early (and final) bath. If this was what her assassin training had taught her, I couldn’t imagine the Queen’s agents had ever killed anyone. Marv would have fallen into the acid lake if Sonny hadn’t grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her back.He threw her towards the men who jumped on her, four of them holding her arms. She looked too stunned by her near death experience to resist.“A spy!” shouted Sonny. “I knew it.”“Oh no!” wailed Schneed from beside me. “I brought i

“Father!” cried out Nyx. “These are adventurers. We are heading into the haunted zone to face the Ancestors.”That wasn’t why I was heading into the haunted zone, but I wasn’t going to argue. The rat soldiers lowered their spears and advanced.There was a distant howl from the tunnel, most likely air moving around the innards of the cave network. It was enough to stop everyone in their tracks. I blessed the Ancestors for watching over me.“Nyx!” the Rat King said in a warning tone. “This is not the time or place. Do not anger the Ancestors, and do not anger me.” His tail whipped out from behind him and flicked Nyx on the back of the head. “Here!”Nyx dejectedly walked to his father’s side, shoulders slumped and adventure over. Well, he tried, give him credit for that. And failed. You can’t win anything with kids.While not being the greatest fighter or leader or, indeed, human being, I do have confidence in myself with regard to a few things. I’m pret

“They’re trolls,” Nyx whispered urgently. His tiny fingers dug into my arm, but at an angle I recognised as the ‘ready to push you into harm’s way’ hold.“Monsters,” whimpered Marv. I really couldn’t tell what kind of training they’d given her at assassin school, she didn’t seem to be good for anything.“I know they’re trolls,” I said as I pulled my arms out of their terrified grips, only for them to clamp on again. “Don’t be so freaked out. They won’t kill you unless they can think of an amusing way to do it.”“This guy,” said a troll leaning against the tunnel wall trying to get his breath. “He gets it.”“That wasn’t funny,” I said, somewhat annoyed at being driven to the point of hysteria by these knuckleheads. “This is hardly the time or place for your gags.”The trolls continued to rock with laughter. “Can’t think of a better one,” said the one who’d been covered in blood. He wiped a quartz tear from his face. “Your face... priceless.” He burst o

The start of the contest was delayed as repairs were made. The trolls treated it as perfectly normal, everyday wear and tear. A professional labyrinth of death required regular maintenance and upkeep.We were taken to get something to eat. I didn’t ask what it was because I was hungry. I spotted Marv sitting in a corner, looking miserable. I thought she might have taken her chances and left, but apparently she’d rather take her chances here. What was more surprising was that Nyx was sat next to her. He was apparently more frightened of the trolls than he was of her. Their common enemy had produced some kind of truce between them, although I couldn’t see it lasting long.Having a few hours to kill, I decided to take a nap. The trolls didn’t bother with bedding, or beds, but the store room where I got my new outfit did just as well. I heaped some clothes into a pile and lay on top of them. My plan was simple. Observe the trolls in the maze. Try to get Keezy to win. Get outs

Now that I had a dragon and two trolls on my team, I was feeling quite positive about the future. Which immediately set alarm bells ringing.“We need to get out of here,” I said. “Where’s the exit?”“We can go back the way we came,” said Raviva, casually waving a granite hand towards the magma-falls. “Now that you’ve got it flowing freely, it’s just a quick climb back to the labyrinth.”“We’d burn to death,” I said, in case he didn’t realise. Which he didn’t.“Really? It’s just a bit of lava.”Having trolls on my side was better than having them against me, but only just.I looked up at Flossie sitting on the dragon. “Can he fly us up there?”Vikchutni had brought a tree into the cave from somewhere, which meant he knew the way out; unless there was an underground forest down here. Which wasn’t impossible. But the area we were in was narrow, and there was no light coming in from above. It might be a long way up, and riding a near-vertica