Living And Dying のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 1 - チャプター 10

                      It is already 4 am but I haven't sleep yet. No single sign of being sleepy showed up and I had to accept the fact that I need to face this chapter of my life again.   My insomnia started few years ago. I thought that it will be only for a day until it seems to happen twice or thrice each week. Staying awake in darkness is really undeniably painful.   Silence is a great company but not all the time. Silence is when my thoughts scream. I often end up overthinking too much when insomnia hits me up. Until I would just think to cut my own wrist or to jump by the window.    And now, I am like a creep, sitting in my bed and my mind is starting to give me reasons to give up. Like "you are a burden", it's always like that. I feel like tha

It's raining outside and I need to stay inside. And it means that it's until tomorrow. The ambience is super calm. A perfect time to recall the changes I've experienced this week. These days have been an adventure to me. But I know, there's a disaster waiting and it's near to come. But, as long as it makes me happy, there's nothing wrong with it.Lately, I just found myself practicing my speech if ever my parents find out about my morning escapes.But I am really praying to all Saints hoping they wouldn't get a hold of me and won't let me go out if the time will come they will know about it.My speech goes like:Mom,Dad, forgive me. I know you are doing your very best for me. But I couldn't stand being stuck here. It's giving me reasons to hate my life. I just want to be a normal and feellike I exist. I want to live my life. It's not that I don't want to be with you anymo

  My tears are continuously running down but my face stays blank. I can already feel how red my cheeks are. My shirt is half wet because of my tears and my heart is full of anger right now.  “Since when?” Dad asked calmly but I know he's trying to fight his anger.  I didn't respond and looked at them in the eye.  They already knew about my morning escapes. It happens that the guard told Mom about it. It was not Sir Keil. A lady guard, the one I remembered who kept on staring at me.  “I know I am not illed.” I finally said with cracked voice. Mom stood up from sitting in her chair and her brows furrowed in confusion and surprise.  “What are you talking about, Zoe? Are you saying we're lying-?”  “ Aren't you?”&n

  “ It was when our first customer came and then the moment he entered this restaurant, I heared him say 'what a monochromatic place', and I was like ' that's a cool name for a restaurant, it sounds freaking elegant'.” He sounds excited like he's telling the best story he read- he even mimic how that first customer uttered the words.     That was what Sir Flinn said after I asked him how did they come up with naming the restaurant as ' Monochromatic'. His eyes are gleaming and I wonder that he doesn't know the meaning behind that word.Obviously.    This is our first day of work- a work which I am not sure if we will receive a good pay. A work without proper contract or anything legal. It's really complicated right now.   Miss Mia messaged Sir Flinn that she will take a day off

Timothy Williams lied. I punched him many times but it wasn't too much like what he truly deserves. Everytime I ask him “ Was it true?” or “Did you really saw them?” His forehead wrinkled and his lips are slightly open, then he would reply “ I'm... quite unsure, I think.. it's just me or maybe... my eyes are getting worse.” Then I would punch him, again and he would act like he's hurt and fall to the ground.  I couldn't sleep properly because of it. Even though he already admitted it was a lie, there's still a part of me keeps on believing it. 'Cause what if they are here?Are they searching for me?Are they worried?Will they take me back to that small village?And if they are really here, I shouldn't be afraid. They can't force me to go back to where I came from. Two decades are enough for me to get st