All Chapters of Chasing Broken Desires: Chapter 31 - Chapter 40

I wake up with a pounding headache; it feels like my head is about to explode. I try to push my body off the bed, but everything is spinning. Exploding and spinning, I definitely had too much wine to drink. Most of the night is a total blur to me; I do not even want to know what Luke and I got up to, emphasis on up, we definitely had sex. I am pretty sure he is going to make me remember.Luke is lying next to me; he looks so peaceful in his sleep; there is nothing like having a sexy man in your bed. He probably does not feel half as bad as I do. I am not going to wake him up just yet; instead, I cuddle up next to him, with my head resting on his chest. Why am I cuddling with him; he should not be in my bed to start with. But I do it anyway; it does not take .long for me to fall asleep again.Then I have the most awful nightmare, almost like it is real. It sends fear and panic throughout my body; a cold sweat settles over me. In my dream, Tyler walks in on Luke and me,

It's nighttime when I wake up; Tyler insisted that I sleep for a bit; it seems that a bit has turned into the entire afternoon. Only when I turn around to lay on my back is when I notice that he is curled up next to me. My heart drops; I have missed this; I have forgotten how peaceful and irresistible he looks while he is sleeping. There is so much that I have missed out on; why did I ever doubt this man. I need to stop this thing with Luke. I must fix us, Tyler and me. I must make his heart whole again. I lean over and give him a peck on his cheek. He looks at me with a sneaky smile, "Is that all I get?" "What else did you want?" "Maybe just a little bit of tongue." "Is this your attempt to talk dirty?" "Yes." "You suck at it." "I can think of something else you can suck." "Tyler!" He lets out a rather nervous laugh and looks me straight in the eyes, Just messing with you. I think we got

I have not seen Tyler for two days; I am hoping it is because he is busy and not that he is ignoring me. I don’t know how I ever thought that he would just accept what I did and move on. I hate being rejected this way, especially by the man I love. It is like my body disgusts him that he can't bear touching something so fifty. I am starting to doubt if he actually still loves me. I honestly think that he is never going to touch me again; he is stubborn that way. We are back to where he cannot say that he loves me; just this time, he cannot touch me as well. How can he want to kiss me but not touch me? Makes no sense? There are days that I wonder what I am fighting for; it feels like nothing at all; our relationship must have just been doomed from the start. I feel like I am his prize locked up in his backyard. I must do as he says and not ask for anything in return. I don't know what to think about us anymore I don’t know what to

I can see Tyler, with a very satisfied but somewhat frustrated smile, get back into his pants. He sees me cock my little head as I am busy stewing over something in my head."What changed?""what do you mean? What changed with what?"Your no-touching rule?""I saw the look in your eyes last night, and I knew if I do not do something, then I was going to lose you again."He draws his lips a little inch closer to him and lays a soft peck against my forehead, "Let us go hear what the problem is?"So as we get to the pub, yes, there is a problem."Dylan, what is the problem here?""Sandra punched Clara."I only but shake my head in disgust, "I swear that this bitch has not learned her lesson."She steps forward to me, "Who is your bitch you two-timing whore?""What did you just call me?""A whore, screwing everything that walks.""Says her that has been through four of the men here already."

Today I am taking Jessica to meet Luke. Luke was not very keen on the idea as he told me very frankly that he still loves me. I want him to move on, but he plainly refuses to; it breaks my heart cause I am the one that played with him, and now he is the one that is fucked with feelings he cannot do anything about. But I am lying to myself and to him. I am picking Jessica up at the tavern, and then we are heading straight for Luke. Today I am telling her the truth about Dylan. "Hey, girl. Are you ready?" "Jenna, I am nervous." "Why, it's just Luke?" "Who says he will like me?" "If he liked me, he would like you." "He still likes you." "I am off-limits." "Does he know?" "I have not told him yet." "Well, in that case, I both think we can