All Chapters of Our Blank Canvas: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

PrologueI hadn’t been to Church in many years. Not since I still lived at the Children’s home, and even then we only attended every so often since we had someone come pray with us locally. Staring up at the white and gold Cathedrial covered in snow, I only hesitated for a second before heading inside.I let my hand trace along the faded pews as I slowly walked to the front of the stage. The smell of old wood and spice sent chills down my spine, and it only got stronger the more I walked. Elegant paintings of Jesus surrounded me from every wall, but I focused on the one a mere few feet away as I knelt down. I studied his sad face with a slight frown, and allowed the emotions to come. I felt helpless, frustrated. Angry. Despite growing up as Christian Orthodox, that feeling of Religious peace has never touched me.I was flying back to Arizona tomorrow, and I didn’t even know if I’d have anything to go bac

I hated to do it, but I pushed the guilt aside and called my dad to ask if we could Skype. Francine wouldn’t be home for several more hours, and I needed to talk to someone about what just happened. Everything I worked so hard to bury was coming for me, and I couldn’t handle the onslaught of emotions alone.He picked up after the third ring. “I’m not bothering you, am I?” I mumbled an apology. Since we have daylight now in Arizona, my father is experiencing nightfall in Russia. I hoped I didn’t wake him.“Nonsense, Vasilisa. Hearing from you is always a pleasure. Give me a few minutes and we’ll talk over video.” Dad didn’t sound sleepy, which made me wonder if I was pulling him away from his work. He wouldn’t tell me if I was anyway, that’s just the way he is.“Very well. I’ll wait.” I disconnected the line and went to pour myself my third cup of coffee. The spoon clicked a

“I need some air. Wanna join me?” Francine traced a single finger along my thigh, and I clasped my hand around her tiny fingers with a reassuring smile.“No, detka. I’ll wait here for you.”“You’re sure?” She leaned in to kiss my cheek softly, and I took a moment to really appreciate the beautiful woman I’d fallen in love with almost two years ago. Francine could be impulsive and emotional. She cried during every sad movie ever and couldn’t always handle my blunt personality. We fought like crazy sometimes too, but I wouldn’t trade my life with her for anyone else.“Brody and Liza...they’re outside.” I hitched my chin toward the sliding glass door leading to Olivia and Charlotte’s patio, making Francine turn to look. “You’re really close to them. They need you. Go. I’ll be fine here.” I brought her fingers to my lips, and she nodded.“Yo

Two weeks laterA couple of weeks passed us by faster than anything I’ve ever seen. Regaining entry into Russia was easier than I thought, and I purchased my ticket post haste. I began preparing myself for the questions any officials were bound to ask me. They’d see my Asylum Visa and probably figure out my business in the United States pretty fast. One thing I’ll always be grateful to my time on the streets is this; It taught me the ability to act tough even when I’m shaking on the inside. I’ve had to defend everything I owned and believed in my entire life, it was second nature to me at this point.“Detka, did you want to bring an extra pair of boots?” Francine was helping me pack, and we already filled two large suitcases with enough clothing to last a month at least. The thing is, I need options. Style is very important to me, I can’t wear the same thing twice during my trip. I’ve notic

Goodbyes have always been difficult for me. The sad truth is even if it’s only temporary, a million things could happen before we have the chance to be reunited with our loved ones again. I’d prefer to stay in one spot, or travel cautiously with Francine. In fact, I’d never ventured outside of Russia before meeting my American life partner on that queer website almost two years ago. I always hoped Russia would accept gay rights in my lifetime, but it was a foolish wish. After living so freely in the United States, it angered me to have to return to the shadows temporarily. I found it strangely ironic how I was going back to Siberia now for answers I wasn’t sure I really wanted...but I suppose the unknown scares me more than goodbyes, or temporary loss of total freedom.I reminded Francine of that as she cried in my arms late last night, and again before kissing her sleepy expression on my way out to the taxi cab. She offered to take me to the airport,