Chapter 6

 I had dry-cleaned Lizzy yesterday clothes so I just wrapped her in a blanket when she fell asleep again after waking me up for food. so I just mashed the pizza left from dinner and fed it to her. now we are on our way to Remi's office to get Lizzy's stuff. food, toys, everything. I never said anything about keeping the baby but since I am always bored at home alone what else am I supposed to do

            we alight from the car straight into Remi's office . Remi has Dave watch over Lizzy for a while, while we enter the company. turns out Dave loves children and Lizzy likes him too. she was all smiles when Dave carried her outside, baring her gums at him.

I love that kid. and I have realized that I have no right whatsoever to be angry at Remi because he is a man and besides we are not even dating so I need to respect his decisions but the issue of trust now I have trust issues. so I am never trusting anybody in my life again and I don't even think I'll recover. maybe when someone starts trusting me 

         

    " where is the stuff? ".   I ask as we enter his big office 

         

    " Elle, we.... we need to talk " he is front of me I look at his shoulder. I just don't know why anymore but I can't just bring myself to look him in the eye anylonger he should be the one not looking me in the he eye but  then I can't just bring myself to see what's in there 

               

   "   sure "

he pull out a chair for me to sit in before going over to take his 

                 

" I have offended you greatly and I am so sorry I never, never wanted to - "

               

 " you never offended me okay ... you, No! let me talk first. " I cut him off when he tries to speak.   " you made your own decision and I have no right whatsoever to be angry at you. you own your life, you are a man, you are rich and everything so what right do I have. I am just a friend and I have no right to be angry at you or anything so therefore do not be sorry "

               

 " Elle " he calls out stretching out his hands over the table to reach for my hands. I push back the chair standing up. seeing him alone makes me horny then touching me even when I am angry? still I'd come right away and he's been keeping the habit of not wearing Shirts and pants lately, purposely when he just knows how perfect he is and the effect it has on me 

                   " please don't " I try muttering when he come close to me reaching out to touch me. the devil in me doesn't want this to be over even when I say it by mouth.

It's angry at my best friend and why my best friend could not confide In me . just 1% of my gut wants to settle things with him. but I would not listen when he tries to talk to me. and then there is a complete half, no  that half that needs sex as fuck... yeah. but I am not going to ask for it. though I am sex starved and he is overly sex starved 

                   

" you would not ignore me if you really have forgiven me Elle when I walk in the room you go out. you are avoiding me "

               

 " I am not ! "

He grab me at all odds and press me against him. I relax against him willingly. I miss and need him alright. damn pride. I contemplate on wrapping my arms around him. If  I do then he would think that I have forgiven him when I have not, not even a little bit 

               

 " I'm sorry. Elle I - " 

               

 " don't ! it's fine... it is ... seriously " I'm lying do not feel yourself I whisper in my mind  

               

 " you sure ?? " 

I do not reply instead I disengage from him, he walk over to the sitting area, where he really drags out a medium suitcase out of " it contains her clothes and toys. he goes back to grab another  " and her food " this time a bag.                      okayyyyy I collect the bag from him and walk out GOD this thing is heavy

     ♣♦♥♠≠≠≠≠≠♣♥♦♠

              🔊🔊  2 months later 💋💋💋

          The car come to an halt just infront of aunt's Mary's house who lives in prudhoe Bay. Remi's gonna meeting one of his clients here and insisted on not leaving Lizzy and I to ourselves probably he thinks that when he is gone I'll kill his baby or dump her somewhere. probably .

I did not protest.  The  demon in me still would not pay attention to him, or even give him any. I barely spoke with him at the house but I spoke at length with Aria. we talk almost everyday. I don't think she knows Remi and I are on bad terms with each other but I bet she knows about Lizzy. she's the mom after all. I am the child to every body, and I am very soon going to loose it once they try to treat me like one as from now on.

It's obvious Remi is pissed. I've been starving him physically but then he has a lot of girls chasing him around. he just needs to pick one and fuck without a condom and then lie to her that she's the first person ever. my trust issues are just growing day by day as I think more of it... at the lie, everything about it .

Remi knows too much, no virtually every thing about me, every damn inch even up to my monthly dates, ask him and he'll tell you. but I have been a damn, idiotic fool. I've been just a stupid friend who just happen to love him from birth

         

our relationship is clearly not working at all. my inner demon made sure of that. I just love her and I hope one day I'll grow up to be like her. but now in Prudhoe bay. I am just going to flirt, fuck and date every hot boy I see me being a virgin for so long and my best friend who happens not to love me when I love him gets to be the one to take the damn thing away from you geez what was I thinking??? sish.  

it's a good thing I've done my research there are tons of cowboys around here and cow boys are always cute, handsome and builded damn I'm going to have loads of fun all I just need is to find a friend who's going to hook me up 

     

 Lizzy has been doing a lot of serious jumping, walking, toothing, serious trashing of the house. littering of food and toys all around. cleaning isn't easy for me and I am going to show her when she grows older maybe at age two to start cleaning the house. 

         

It's not easy cleaning every five minutes. I shouldn't even work I'm 20 and a baby, everybody should take care of me and not the other way round .

        

       

  we alight. I carry Lizzy in one arm and my bag in the other. aunt Mary comes bursting out of the house with arms spread out. she's always so welcoming. one of the million things I like about her. she hugs both me and Lizzy together before carrying Lizzy out of my arms cuddling her like her own child. Lizzy giggle, showcasing her set of gums and three teeth. two down one up

                 

" how are your u guys. I've missed you so much. look at you Elle you've grown so much. GOD ".  she exclaims 

                 

" aunt " Remi greets from behind me bending damn I forgot aunt Mary also travelled with Mom the other time she went to o Africa oh thank goodness she's too happy to remember 

               

  " my dear nephew... oh ...Dave? how are you?? "

                   

" I'm fine thank you " he pass by us hauling our bags behind him Remi move to help him. I walk in behind aunt.

      

           

Lizzy starts to dance all of a sudden in aunt Mary's arms, she's about to cry. before I know it  she's jumping repeatedly now trying to reach for me by throwing out her chubby hands admist a sob before bursting into a fit. 

      

         

   hogwash I wonder why she's so protective like this. I drop my bag on the chair quickly. she's waving Remi off as he tries to carry her. I sigh picking her up the whole thing ends like that when she nuzzle her face in my chest. putting a fist in her mouth

         

   " wow you really have a thing for babies "

             

   " yeah she does  " Remi chirp in before I can reply. he's been trying to bring me out of my shell but it's not working not when I have Lizzy by my side she knows just the right time to cry.

        

           I think I'm even growing to hate him now but Lizzy?  I love and hate her .

     

    I love her from the bottom of my heart when she starts to cry at the wrong time and make me over work. Then I do not  like her. I won't ask Remi for a maid ever it's not like we are even going to live together forever.

         

  once we leave here back to Canada I'm going to enjoy a little spend his credit card as a little pay back before escaping back to NYC 

           

   " where's Jared? "

I ask, aunt Mary's son .

               

" he's in his room sleeping he's pretty ill "

               

" oh... um, aunt where do I lay Lizzy before I bring in her crib?? "

             

   " down the corridor to your left "

           

    " thanks "