ABANDONED.

“Good morning,” I mumbled.

“You seem tired, have a cup of coffee. If you are hungry, you could get a couple of things from the fridge and cook something.” He instructed.

“Oh, okay, thanks.’ I cleared my throat since it felt hoarse...

“Your boyfriend. Do you live with him?’

“Yes,’ I replied. Why was he bringing him up?

Oh, we didn’t get to finish our conversation yesterday? He must have dodged it for me not to feel bad about it. I thought he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

“I thought as much, sorry, don’t mean to pry. You look like someone who ran from home.” He apologized.

“No, it’s nothing,’ I sighed. “Has someone ever cheated on you?”

“Everyone gets cheated on at some point. No one is perfect. You asked that same question yesterday.”

That doesn’t answer my question again. Why wasn’t he talking about himself? I must be stupid and it's not as if I know him so why am I bothering myself whether he has been cheated on or not?

“Yeah, I thought I was perfect,’ I murmured.

“Do you know the lady he cheated on you with? I heard it’s normally people who are close to you or something. It’s a common experience for most of them, I heard."

I shook my head. My eyes were welling up. “No,” I replied. “I caught him in bed with a guy having sex.”

His face lit up in surprise. “That’s…awful.’ He muttered and poured some coffee into his cup. “How long have you guys dated?’

“For almost five years.” I replied.

“How come you didn’t notice his sexuality for that long?” He took a sip from the coffee and poured a few spoons of sugar and milk.

He carried the cup and dropped it again, adding about twenty cubes of sugar in it and more milk.

“Isn’t that too much?’

“Too much?’ He raised his eyebrows at me in question.

“I mean, the sugar?’ I pointed at the packet of sugar he was holding.

It was not like it was my business, but it was weird to be adding that much sugar into a coffee.

“Oh,’ he shrugged, looking at the coffee. “Don’t mind me, it’s not like I can taste it, anyway.’

“What do you mean?’

He shook his head. “You were saying something.’ he reminded me about the earlier question.

“Oh, right?’ I gave a slight scratch on my hair and sighed.

‘Didn’t you notice anything weird about his sexuality?’ he asked again.

“I was stupid. I loved him too much to even look at him. I thought we were one. Turns out I was wrong about him. He was my best friend. I never knew he was gay.’ my eyes watered as I fell to my knees, crying.

“You never had the slightest suspicion that he was gay.’ He seemed a little dumbfounded.

“I didn’t know. He didn’t tell me,” I half sobbed. “He didn’t tell me anything. I’m just so fucking stupid. The red flags were there. I could recall him watching gay movies, talking about guys. How come I never took a hint?’

'Guess it fed him up with pretending to be someone he wasn’t and banged a guy.’ He remarked.

His words stung my heart.

“Still, he could have told me. I could have understood he liked guys and not getting involved in his issues, but to cheat on me, in our matrimonial bed,’ I laughed bitterly. “I know we are not a married couple. We are college students, but I hate him for lying to me. How could he do such a thing, lying to me for weeks? We had no one, but we had each other in the whole wide world. After everything we’ve been through, he threw it all away for a guy.’ I yelled angrily.

He yawned out loudly, covering his mouth, and faced me with a calm expression. “I don’t know how you guys did it. Or how the relationship went. I’m not trying to justify what he did was right. But I think he couldn’t tell you because he couldn’t stand losing you or he could have still been battling and figuring out who he is with the guy you saw him with.’ He reasoned.

“I don’t care, I don’t know. He could have told me it’s like I don’t know him anymore.”

“Crying is not solving your problems. Come on, you can do this. You should be glad you caught him or else you wouldn’t have known how long this was going to go, anyway.” He came to me, squatted in front of me, and gave me a warm hug while I was sitting down on his couch.

He smelled like jasmine, he appeared to freshen up from the shower and smelled good.

He pulled away from me. “Stop crying. Don’t you have school to attend?’

“How do you know I attend school?” I looked up at him.

“You are a college student, right? You said those words a while ago.’

I chuckled. His voice was so sweet. “Oh. Yes, I am in my second semester.”

“Alright, whenever you want to talk, vent, you can come to meet me, okay?’ He stood up and took his bag, recombining his long blonde hair, which was just at his shoulder length.

“You are going out? I’m still inside, though. Don’t you think you should lock the door first before leaving?’

“Yeah, pretty one,’ he winked. “You can close the door on your way out. Your choice. See you around.”

He walked out of the apartment and shut the door behind him.

He sounds like a wise dude. Impressive.

I still don’t understand why he would leave a complete stranger at his house.

Kind of weird.

I touched my stomach. I wasn’t even hungry and even if I should take a bath here, I wouldn’t be able to change into some feminine clothes. It’s better I go to Kristen’s house and oh, she must have gone to school by now, her apartment would be locked.

Though I’m kind of lazy to go there, it’s better she comes back from school first, so I can talk with her.

I better wait here till the school closes. I don’t want to go back to my apartment either.

It's filled with disgusting things I don’t want to remember.

Just the thought of the scene I saw on my bed made me burst into tears. This is a guy that I’ve loved for years.

A guy I gave my all to. I sacrificed everything just to have a good life with him, and this is what I get from it.

My stupid birth parents abandoned me, failing their promise not to leave me.

Why? Why did Noah break our promise, after we made the love we have for each other our goal to always stay and love each other till death do us apart?

As a child back then, my parents abandoned me by the roadside.

My mother said she was coming back for me and left me with a candy.

“Wait for me, don’t move a single step,’’ she says. “I will be back before you know it, sweetie. Wait.” She got up, smiled at me, then left for the bus, which stopped opposite me.

I waved my hands countless times. She didn’t even look back at me. I squatted down on the snow, waited for hours and hours until it got dark.

I didn’t see my mom. I cried and a lot of passers-by stopped to help me. One of them was kind enough to take me to the police station to search for my parents and my grandmother appeared with a smirk expression.

“You will never see your mother again. She abandoned you, bastard.”