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Return of the Missing Mother
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2021-01-27 14:01:58I was doing my best to keep the children occupied while Jax was being transported to the hospital. Once he reached the local hospital, they managed to stabilize him. I had called before he arrived and the friendly staff promised to keep me updated on his progress, and if they planned to transport him. It was ten at night before I finally received a call. Jax had a minor heart attack.
The local physicians were able to discover that Jax had a blockage in one of his lower valves in his heart. Unfortunately, they did not have a cardiologist on hand that could perform the surgery that he needed. Jax was going to be transported to a neighboring larger city where a cardiologist was already waiting for him. The nurse was patient and answered all my questions. She explained that they were going to transport him to the other hospital, he would undergo the surgery, and then the doctors there would determine when Jax could return home. Before we got of
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To say that the day was stressful would be a gross understatement of what I was feeling. I spent the rest of the night trying to calm Isabella and Helen. Isabella was terrified that she would have to go with her mother. Helen was torn, she did not remember her mother’s abuse. They had a million questions about whether they would need to change schools, and if I had any updates on their father. I hated that I could not give them concrete answers to all their questions.I did eventually get a phone call with updates about Jax. He was awake and recovering well. The nurse explained that they plan on discharging him the day after tomorrow. The nurse also explained that I would need to come to the hospital before he was discharged. Even though Jax was healing well he would need additional care at home, as well as follow up appointments with a cardiologist. I asked her if I could speak with Jax but was informed that he was currently sleeping
Last Updated : 2021-01-28Wrong Way Up Homecoming
The girls were ecstatic that I had solved the problem with Crystal. They were also overjoyed when I told them that Jax was coming home tomorrow. Levi and Shawn were not so happy about it, but we decided to enjoy our last night of peace. I ordered us pizza and we decided to play a few board games with movies on the television. I figured after the miserable week that everyone had that we deserved a night of fun.Jax called before the children went to bed. He spoke with Isabella; she bragged a little about how I got rid of Crystal. Once she was done on the phone Jax asked to speak with me. He asked me if I planned on being at the hospital tomorrow. I explained to him that yes, I would be there. I relayed everything that his nurse and physician had explained to me. Jax said that he was getting tired, so we got off the phone. Everyone decided that we should go to bed early. Tomorrow was a big day, Jax was coming home.I
Last Updated : 2021-01-29Wrong Way Up Forced Rehabilitation
Jax slept the entire ride home, even while I was in the drug store dropping off his prescriptions. When I pulled into the driveway, I started gathering Jax’s paperwork and belongings to take them inside. Jax was very weak and had some issues getting out of the car and into the house. I begrudgingly let him use my shoulder to help get him inside. I carefully got him into the bed and told him to rest. It was not long before Jax was asleep again.I did not mind that he was sleeping. It afforded me more time to be by myself. In less than an hour the children will be home. Jax’s condition was a little more serious than I had originally given it credit. I would need to speak to the kids about not being too noisy, and not rough housing or fighting in the house. Jax’s stress need to be kept at a minimum. I poured a cup of coffee while internally struggling with my emotions. I did not like seeing people in pain, even if they had hu
Last Updated : 2021-01-30Wrong Way Up Battle of the Brains
The girls were very nervous before the visit with their mother. I installed a tracking application on Isabella’s cell phone. It would allow me to track where Crystal took the children. I ensured that they were fed before leaving. Jax stated that he was allowing Crystal to have the girls for only four hours. I argued that four hours was enough time to take them across state lines. Jax informed me that I was being paranoid, and that this was a matter to be handled between him and Crystal. Too soon the girls were whisked away, and I was left wrought with worry for their safety.I tracked the girls throughout the visit, pleased that Crystal was not leaving town with them. Both girls burst through the door with their arms filled with shopping bags. Helen was overwhelmingly in bliss. She hurried into the kitchen to tell me all about her visit with her mother. Evidently Crystal had taken the girls to several shops in town. She had bought Hel
Last Updated : 2021-01-31Wrong Way Up Shattered Hope
As Jax made a full return to work, we all settled into the old routine with a few tweaks. The girls had been only staying overnight at Crystal’s house, but Jax seen fit to start giving her full weekends. He also now invited her to any school functions that the girls were involved in. Isabella told me on multiple occasions that she detested Crystal being there. She stated that Crystal made fun of her, and that she hated spending any time with the woman. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do about the situation. Jax had made it abundantly clear that he did not want me to have anything to do with his children. He constantly made it a point to say that I was not a good role model. He would then go on to say that I was a whore, lazy, or a myriad of other foul comments.Another blessing was that Jax was now easily tired, and barely had the strength to start a fight after working. I had known before that his job was physically demandin
Last Updated : 2021-01-31Wrong Way Up Unexpected Potential
When Jax had been admitted to the hospital I had taken a leave from my college classes. Once he returned to work part time, I had started my online classes again. I was able to keep up with the work, and quickly caught up on what I had missed. Now that Jax was back to work full time, I returned to college full time as well. Returning to classes also meant that I could return to group as well.I had formed warm acquaintances with most of the women at our group. Once you share the horrors of what you have endured with people, it is hard not to feel close to them. Upon my return I gave them the whole story of Jax’s ill health and why I had been away. I told them about Crystal and how she was back in their lives. I even told them about Helen and how the young girl now seemed to despise me. Jordan our group leader questioned whether Crystal was trying to use Helen to get back together with Jax. While that possibility had crossed my mind he
Last Updated : 2021-01-31Wrong Way Up The Missing Pin
My birthday was in less than a week. I did not feel like celebrating. My depression was back in full swing, making it harder to keep up the farce that I had presented to the world about Jax and I. Jax was regaining his strength more, which was making life harder. I had not heard back from Frank regarding the farmhouse, and I had no new prospects for places to rent. Helen was continuing to scorn me, acting as if I were the reason her mother and father were not together. How convenient that she has forgotten that her parents were separated long before I ever came into the picture. Some days I wanted to flat out tell her that her mother could gladly have the monster that her father was. All I wanted anymore was peace.Jax had a brand-new complaint that he blamed me for. One of the medications that the cardiologist put him on was causing erectile dysfunction. According to Jax though the reason he could not get his member to work was because I w
Last Updated : 2021-02-03Wrong Way Up An Unforgettable Birthday
WARNINGThe following chapter contains acts of physical, mental, and sexual abuse. These acts may be triggers to some readers. Please continue with caution.Birthdays are supposed to be a celebration of being alive. It is a reflection of living another year, and the accomplishments that go with it. Some see it as a time for reflection, looking back on how much you have grown as a person. I truly believe that no one thinks that they are going to come face to face with death on their birthday. Fate is a tricky beast though and sometimes she has to bite you in order to push you over the ledge and into your destiny.I was abruptly awakened on my birthday to the feeling of Jax straddling me, and cold metal being pressed against my temple. My breathing stopped, in fact it felt as if time i
Last Updated : 2021-02-04
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The next week was very hectic. I ended up having two long days at work, and it was proving difficult to work my schedule around Jayce’s schedule and taking the kids to their various activities. I felt on edge all the time, even at the supermarket because I was afraid that Jax would do something to my vehicle again.A follow up phone call confirmed that there were no cameras in the area that would have been able to capture Jax messing with my car that night. I was beyond frustrated that he could continue to harass me and get away with it.One of the few silver linings to my week was that I had not seen Jax again face to face. Although Jayce had stood up for me last time, I could not help but to fear that I would run into Jax without having Jayce with me.Jayce had practically moved into the house with me and the kids. Although he still had his trailer, because Jax was an ever-present threat to my safety he was staying at the house. I would be a liar if I sa
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The next morning Jayce placed a call to his mechanic friend while I made us some coffee. The kids had plans with their youth group, and I was lucky that they had a ride into town. With Jax being out of jail I worried whenever they were gone, but today they were taking a trip up the mountain to do some mushroom hunting. Morel mushrooms grew wild on the mountain and the group had found some last year and wanted to explore even more this year.Jayce came down and informed me that his friend had some time this afternoon to come and look at the car. I confirmed once again that it was not going to cost me anything, and Jayce reassured me that he had already spoken to him about it. I felt a pang of guilt at making Jayce use a favor to help me, but it was imperative that I have the car running well. Living outside of town was great for isolation, but we definitely needed a vehicle to get back and forth to town.Since we had time, we quickly settled into a morning routine of cl
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Living in a small town has some advantages. Everyone seems to know everyone else’s business. It did not take long for word to get back to me that Jax was seeing a new girl. Well technically it was a previous girlfriend that he got back together with. I was astounding that she would subject herself to his abuse all over again, but then I also wondered if he was just more abusive with me.That train of thought led to me wondering if I was incapable of being loved properly. Afterall my ex-husband cheated on me, Jax abused me, and I still did not know where I stood with Jayce. Speaking of Jayce things with him were not bad. We spent most days and nights together, we acted like a couple, yet neither of us seemed capable of broaching the subject of whether or not we were dating.To say that it was a confusing time would be an understatement of the well of emotion that I seemed caught in. Most days I felt like I was fine, like I could pretend that the past year with Jax
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Jayce got called into work the following morning. In truth I was relieved because it helped dispel some of the awkwardness of the moment. I had zero regrets about what we had done last night, but I could not help but wonder if Jayce did. Jayce has always seemed worldly, and experienced. I have always feared that I disappoint him in the bedroom. Once I had dropped Jayce off, I had some time on my hands. I wished yet again that Emily was home. I could use a good morning coffee, and conversation.Since Emily still was not home, and I had nothing else to get done I headed home and made a pot of coffee for myself. Sitting on the couch with my legs curled under me, I contemplated whether last night would change the relationship that Jayce and I have. More importantly did I want our relationship to change?There is a huge part of me that fears losing the wonderful friendship that I have with Jayce. I have not made that many genuine connections in my life, and I certainly do n
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Jayce pulls me into the room that I still have not slept in. He slides his hand through my hair, softly brushing his thumb over my cheekbone. “Noel, are you a hundred percent sure that you want this?” His touch has already awakened a dull aching need for him within my body.“Jayce, I need this. I need to remember what it feels like to be touched with love, instead of hate. I need to remember what passion truly feels like. I need to remember how sex can feel when it is wanted and needed.” My voice is raspy as he trails kisses along my neck.I clumsily reach for the hem of Jayce’s shirt. I want to feel his skin against mine, I need to feel that heat. Jayce turns me slightly and we move towards the bed. As he lowers me softly on the mattress, he removes the shirt that I fumbled with earlier. I cannot help my wandering eyes, as I my gaze drops lower. I have always enjoyed Jayce’s chest. He has a few tattoos along his pectorals, and a few
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I was nervous and distracted at work the next day. I could not stop the irrational fear that somehow Jax was going to find out where I was working, or worse find out where I lived and mess with the kids while I was at work. I probably called Levi ten times asking if everything was going good at the house. By the time my shift ended I felt like I was a complete basket case. As I climbed in my car, I was already dialing Jayce’s number, and he answered on the first ring.“Hey beautiful how was work?” Hearing his voice helped to relax me a little bit.“Work was ok, but I have been anxious all day thinking that Jax was somehow going to find out where I am at. I think I called the kids a million times today.” I tried to laugh that last part, but even I could hear the tension in my voice.“That is a completely normal response to everything that is going on. Everything is going to work out, I just know it. So, I have a bag packed if y
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“What exactly is a plea bargain?” When the attorney did not continue, I felt that I needed to ask. From the glances she was giving the victim assistance worker I could only assume that I was not going to like the answer she was about to give me.“A plea bargain is where I give Jax a set of conditions that he must fulfill and in return he accepts the charges, and we avoid a full trial.” It seemed as if the attorney was dancing around the subject instead of giving me the straight facts.“What are the conditions you are asking for, and what exactly would his charges be?” The longer this meeting was taking, the more my rage was building. It seems as if Jax has the world convinced that he is a great guy, and that him beating me was just a fluke.“At this time Jax has been in jail for almost three weeks. I would ask that does sixty days in jail, he would need to complete drug and alcohol classes, as well as an anger management
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The day after I had dinner with Jayce, I got a call from the victim assistance worker, and the prosecuting attorney. They wanted to have a meeting with me regarding what was going to happen in court and how they wanted to proceed. I was anxious to get court over with. I knew that Jax was appointed an attorney, so I was hoping that meant that things were going to start going quickly. I set up the meeting for the next day.Today was my first day back at work and I was slightly nervous. I was happy to be making money again, but this was a new place with new people. I used to be outgoing and willing to talk to anyone, but now I questioned everyone and worried that they would be friends with Jax. I knew that most of today would be orientation, so I was not too stressed.I was surprised to find that the day flew by. My new coworkers were older than I was, but they were pleasant people to talk to. They seemed genuinely kind and caring, although I could tell that my boss had a
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I had been nervous about seeing Jayce in person. We had not seen each other in so long. I had no idea if showing up at his work was the right thing to do, but he was still smiling as he walked over to me. He quickly gave me a hug and told me I looked good. I wanted to get lost in his warm embrace. It felt nice just being able to see him again. I was surprised that old feelings began to stir, and I wondered if this truly had been a good idea.“Wow I cannot believe you are here. Wait why are you here?” Jayce was a little shocked and slightly confused. I had never come into his work before, and this usually never stopped at this gas station.“Well, I was still moving a few things, and after we had talked last night, I did not want to wait to see you. It seems like both of us have schedules and we keep missing each other, so I decided to stop here to see you.” I rushed my explanation out, hoping that it did not sound lame. Hearing the words made me
