LOGINShare
The Missing Pin
Last Updated:
2021-02-03 12:37:12My birthday was in less than a week. I did not feel like celebrating. My depression was back in full swing, making it harder to keep up the farce that I had presented to the world about Jax and I. Jax was regaining his strength more, which was making life harder. I had not heard back from Frank regarding the farmhouse, and I had no new prospects for places to rent. Helen was continuing to scorn me, acting as if I were the reason her mother and father were not together. How convenient that she has forgotten that her parents were separated long before I ever came into the picture. Some days I wanted to flat out tell her that her mother could gladly have the monster that her father was. All I wanted anymore was peace.
Jax had a brand-new complaint that he blamed me for. One of the medications that the cardiologist put him on was causing erectile dysfunction. According to Jax though the reason he could not get his member to work was because I w
Related chapters
Wrong Way Up An Unforgettable Birthday
WARNINGThe following chapter contains acts of physical, mental, and sexual abuse. These acts may be triggers to some readers. Please continue with caution.Birthdays are supposed to be a celebration of being alive. It is a reflection of living another year, and the accomplishments that go with it. Some see it as a time for reflection, looking back on how much you have grown as a person. I truly believe that no one thinks that they are going to come face to face with death on their birthday. Fate is a tricky beast though and sometimes she has to bite you in order to push you over the ledge and into your destiny.I was abruptly awakened on my birthday to the feeling of Jax straddling me, and cold metal being pressed against my temple. My breathing stopped, in fact it felt as if time i
Last Updated : 2021-02-04Wrong Way Up Run Baby Run
I crawled into the bathroom incredibly sore from everything that occurred this morning. What a hell of a way to be spending a birthday. I did not even bother trying to keep quiet. I ran warm water in the sink, a vain attempt to wash him off my body. Disgust, shame, and anger broiled up inside of me that I soon found myself emptying the contents of my stomach in the toilet.My mind and my emotions are in a hurricane storm within my body. The tears flow freely, I do not even bother trying to wipe them away. I have no idea where I am going to go, but I know that I need to get out. The truth literally hit me in the face this morning. Even living in a shelter would be better than this.Walking back into the room, I am relieved that Jax is still passed out, snoring loudly still clutching the gun in his hand. I quickly grab my go bag, which is packed with a few clothes and important papers. I do not bother to close the doo
Last Updated : 2021-02-10Wrong Way Up Light In The Darkness
The kids were excited as I pulled into Emily’s driveway. Levi commented that she had enough space to run dirt bikes, and four wheelers on. Looking around I had to admit that I was slightly jealous of the space that Emily did have. The farm was easily twenty acres of land, and Levi was right it was perfect for dirt bikes, and other off-road toys.Emily was standing in the driveway waiting for us as we got closer to the house. The kids jumped out of the car excited to explore the new area. Emily walked over and embraced me as I got out of the car. For a brief moment in time, I knew I was safe. As I wrapped my arms around her, I allowed the tears to flow freely from my eyes. I knew that Emily understood everything that I was going through, and that she would not mind me getting her sweatshirt wet with my tears. She held me tight until the tears subsided some.“Alright so I have dug out some popcorn and gathered some movies that the kids might like. I figured t
Last Updated : 2021-03-03Wrong Way Up Best Laid Plans
WARNING This chapter contains physical, emotional, and mental abuse scenes. Some readers can find this work &
Last Updated : 2021-03-05Wrong Way Up The Cavalry
Mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted there are no words that could describe the relief I felt as four police cruisers pulled up to the house. Jax was a strong man, but there was no way that he could take all the officers on. In that moment, I realized that this truly was the end to my living nightmare. I stayed sagging against the car as I watched two police officers go after Jax to calm him down and two officers came over to speak to me.Once the officers got close enough to see my face, they immediately asked me if I needed an ambulance. I told them no, but the other officer insisted on calling the paramedics to check me out. One officer started asking me questions regarding what occurred, while the other one started to write down my answers in a small spiral bound notebook that he pulled from his breast pocket. A few moments into the interview we were interrupted by yelling.I looked over to where the officers had followed Jax and could see that he was st
Last Updated : 2021-03-09Wrong Way Up Unexpected Call
As we loaded the last of the large furniture into the trucks, I found myself once again thanking everyone there, especially Emily. Thanks to everyone’s generosity I was feeling relieved that we were able to get the large furniture out, and anything of high dollar value that belonged to either myself or the kids. I was relieved that if Jax did get out of jail soon, that anything that we were not able to grab right now could be replaced.The kids were excited as we started moving stuff into our new house. Even though today had started horribly, it was beginning to be a lot better. Since the house was a three bedroom the boys agreed to share the largest room, Olivia opted for the smallest room, which left me with the room closest to the bathroom. I was just happy to be out of that nightmare. Emily had another surprise waiting for me at the house. One of her coworkers was selling a queen size bed, and since Emily knew that I no longer had a bed she had bought it and had it
Last Updated : 2021-03-10Wrong Way Up Reliving the Past
I tried laying down in the bed again once I got everything unload. Sleep still eluded me. The bed was cold, large and empty. I thought about calling Daisy in to lay with me, but she looked cute curled up with Olivia. Thinking that perhaps having too much space was the problem, I grabbed my makeshift pillow and blanket and headed for the couch. The couch was not very comfortable, but the exhaustion finally caught up to me and soon I drifted off to sleep.I found myself locked in a nightmare. I was back at Jax’s house, he had just gotten released from jail. In the dream he was much taller, and his muscles were bulging. He had caught me there removing more of my stuff from the home. He had me trapped in the kitchen, as he had done so many times before. This time he had his gun with him. I could feel the cold metal once again pressed to my temple this time though he pulled the trigger.The dream startled me awake in a cold sweat. My heart was pounding, and it felt li
Last Updated : 2021-03-12Wrong Way Up Endless Stream of Appointments
I was glad that I knew realistically that life was not going to be normal for a while, even if it irked me. Over the next few days my phone rang continuously. The victim assistance advocate wanted me to come in and watch a movie about the court proceedings that would be happening. The child services worker wanted yet another statement from me, and from my children. There was a detective that wanted to speak with me. I had to answer more questions from Officer Connor. The prosecuting attorney wanted to ask me a few questions as well. Jayce was not kidding when he said that I would have to tell this horrific story over and over.The best news that I received was that Jax had been to court and the judge was not immediately releasing him. Officer Connor had spoken personally in court about how Jax had swung at an officer and had to be hit with a taser before they could arrest him. This allowed me a little breathing room to ensure that I was able to get all my things from the hous
Last Updated : 2021-03-13
Latest chapter
Wrong Way Up Definition
The next week was very hectic. I ended up having two long days at work, and it was proving difficult to work my schedule around Jayce’s schedule and taking the kids to their various activities. I felt on edge all the time, even at the supermarket because I was afraid that Jax would do something to my vehicle again.A follow up phone call confirmed that there were no cameras in the area that would have been able to capture Jax messing with my car that night. I was beyond frustrated that he could continue to harass me and get away with it.One of the few silver linings to my week was that I had not seen Jax again face to face. Although Jayce had stood up for me last time, I could not help but to fear that I would run into Jax without having Jayce with me.Jayce had practically moved into the house with me and the kids. Although he still had his trailer, because Jax was an ever-present threat to my safety he was staying at the house. I would be a liar if I sa
Wrong Way Up Nuts and Bolts
The next morning Jayce placed a call to his mechanic friend while I made us some coffee. The kids had plans with their youth group, and I was lucky that they had a ride into town. With Jax being out of jail I worried whenever they were gone, but today they were taking a trip up the mountain to do some mushroom hunting. Morel mushrooms grew wild on the mountain and the group had found some last year and wanted to explore even more this year.Jayce came down and informed me that his friend had some time this afternoon to come and look at the car. I confirmed once again that it was not going to cost me anything, and Jayce reassured me that he had already spoken to him about it. I felt a pang of guilt at making Jayce use a favor to help me, but it was imperative that I have the car running well. Living outside of town was great for isolation, but we definitely needed a vehicle to get back and forth to town.Since we had time, we quickly settled into a morning routine of cl
Wrong Way Up Same Old Song and Dance
Living in a small town has some advantages. Everyone seems to know everyone else’s business. It did not take long for word to get back to me that Jax was seeing a new girl. Well technically it was a previous girlfriend that he got back together with. I was astounding that she would subject herself to his abuse all over again, but then I also wondered if he was just more abusive with me.That train of thought led to me wondering if I was incapable of being loved properly. Afterall my ex-husband cheated on me, Jax abused me, and I still did not know where I stood with Jayce. Speaking of Jayce things with him were not bad. We spent most days and nights together, we acted like a couple, yet neither of us seemed capable of broaching the subject of whether or not we were dating.To say that it was a confusing time would be an understatement of the well of emotion that I seemed caught in. Most days I felt like I was fine, like I could pretend that the past year with Jax
Wrong Way Up Small Town Big Talk
Jayce got called into work the following morning. In truth I was relieved because it helped dispel some of the awkwardness of the moment. I had zero regrets about what we had done last night, but I could not help but wonder if Jayce did. Jayce has always seemed worldly, and experienced. I have always feared that I disappoint him in the bedroom. Once I had dropped Jayce off, I had some time on my hands. I wished yet again that Emily was home. I could use a good morning coffee, and conversation.Since Emily still was not home, and I had nothing else to get done I headed home and made a pot of coffee for myself. Sitting on the couch with my legs curled under me, I contemplated whether last night would change the relationship that Jayce and I have. More importantly did I want our relationship to change?There is a huge part of me that fears losing the wonderful friendship that I have with Jayce. I have not made that many genuine connections in my life, and I certainly do n
Wrong Way Up Blooming Rose
Jayce pulls me into the room that I still have not slept in. He slides his hand through my hair, softly brushing his thumb over my cheekbone. “Noel, are you a hundred percent sure that you want this?” His touch has already awakened a dull aching need for him within my body.“Jayce, I need this. I need to remember what it feels like to be touched with love, instead of hate. I need to remember what passion truly feels like. I need to remember how sex can feel when it is wanted and needed.” My voice is raspy as he trails kisses along my neck.I clumsily reach for the hem of Jayce’s shirt. I want to feel his skin against mine, I need to feel that heat. Jayce turns me slightly and we move towards the bed. As he lowers me softly on the mattress, he removes the shirt that I fumbled with earlier. I cannot help my wandering eyes, as I my gaze drops lower. I have always enjoyed Jayce’s chest. He has a few tattoos along his pectorals, and a few
Wrong Way Up Sleepover
I was nervous and distracted at work the next day. I could not stop the irrational fear that somehow Jax was going to find out where I was working, or worse find out where I lived and mess with the kids while I was at work. I probably called Levi ten times asking if everything was going good at the house. By the time my shift ended I felt like I was a complete basket case. As I climbed in my car, I was already dialing Jayce’s number, and he answered on the first ring.“Hey beautiful how was work?” Hearing his voice helped to relax me a little bit.“Work was ok, but I have been anxious all day thinking that Jax was somehow going to find out where I am at. I think I called the kids a million times today.” I tried to laugh that last part, but even I could hear the tension in my voice.“That is a completely normal response to everything that is going on. Everything is going to work out, I just know it. So, I have a bag packed if y
Wrong Way Up Clarification and Anger
“What exactly is a plea bargain?” When the attorney did not continue, I felt that I needed to ask. From the glances she was giving the victim assistance worker I could only assume that I was not going to like the answer she was about to give me.“A plea bargain is where I give Jax a set of conditions that he must fulfill and in return he accepts the charges, and we avoid a full trial.” It seemed as if the attorney was dancing around the subject instead of giving me the straight facts.“What are the conditions you are asking for, and what exactly would his charges be?” The longer this meeting was taking, the more my rage was building. It seems as if Jax has the world convinced that he is a great guy, and that him beating me was just a fluke.“At this time Jax has been in jail for almost three weeks. I would ask that does sixty days in jail, he would need to complete drug and alcohol classes, as well as an anger management
Wrong Way Up Plea Bargain
The day after I had dinner with Jayce, I got a call from the victim assistance worker, and the prosecuting attorney. They wanted to have a meeting with me regarding what was going to happen in court and how they wanted to proceed. I was anxious to get court over with. I knew that Jax was appointed an attorney, so I was hoping that meant that things were going to start going quickly. I set up the meeting for the next day.Today was my first day back at work and I was slightly nervous. I was happy to be making money again, but this was a new place with new people. I used to be outgoing and willing to talk to anyone, but now I questioned everyone and worried that they would be friends with Jax. I knew that most of today would be orientation, so I was not too stressed.I was surprised to find that the day flew by. My new coworkers were older than I was, but they were pleasant people to talk to. They seemed genuinely kind and caring, although I could tell that my boss had a
Wrong Way Up Old Friends, New Memories
I had been nervous about seeing Jayce in person. We had not seen each other in so long. I had no idea if showing up at his work was the right thing to do, but he was still smiling as he walked over to me. He quickly gave me a hug and told me I looked good. I wanted to get lost in his warm embrace. It felt nice just being able to see him again. I was surprised that old feelings began to stir, and I wondered if this truly had been a good idea.“Wow I cannot believe you are here. Wait why are you here?” Jayce was a little shocked and slightly confused. I had never come into his work before, and this usually never stopped at this gas station.“Well, I was still moving a few things, and after we had talked last night, I did not want to wait to see you. It seems like both of us have schedules and we keep missing each other, so I decided to stop here to see you.” I rushed my explanation out, hoping that it did not sound lame. Hearing the words made me
