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CHAPTER 08
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2021-10-11 19:48:49It was like a very cold water bathed my whole body.
Coldness started to run through my system and I felt weak. My phone fell on the floor and that made a sound. The phone breaks and I did not pay attention to it anymore because I felt numb. I could not think clear.
If the phone was broken, I am more broken. Pool of tears started to shred down my cheeks so I covered my mouth to stop my sobs. I felt Jinx and Mister Adonis looking at me. When my knees could not take it anymore, I knelt down the floor and looked at the blank floor.
"Astra?" Jinx called but I did not able to answer. He wagged my shoulders to get my attention, but I was driven by the thought of my father.
No, no. This can't be. Dad will never leave us like this. He survived. He did not died! He did not!
I gulped very hard and wiped the tears away. I had to go to the hospital so I would see him. I stood up with the left courage in me and faced the two men that was now looking at me
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Even if I wanted to die already, someone would still really saves me. I want to end my suffering. The pain here in my heart was too much and I think I could not handle it anymore.I do not wanna live forever.Fuck this life. I am tired anymore. I want to rest. Everything is too much for me.I have a lot of problems and my mind could not even grasp them all anymore. It was like my head wants to explode because of too much thoughts. How I wish I know nothing. How I fucking wish I have no brain because I do not want to think and know how cruel the world is.I fucking hate my damn life!"Astra, hey."I felt someone wagged my shoulders lightly. I groaned when I tried to move my hands. It was like I was frozen and I could not even move. I felt my body numb hence I could not explain what I was feeling to the exact."Astra, you are tearing up. I bet you are already awake. Stop thinking bad things, can you?"I heard Jinx's voice again p
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It was so hard to live with no freedom. It was not easy to just see the darkness and you are struggling seeking for the light. It was hard to live if you do not even want to. It was hard to do everything that you are not even fond of. It was so freaking hard like you're in hell.I covered my face with a white pillow and stopped myself from crying again. But I am not that strong to stop my tears from falling. And since I am just alone here in my room, I just let my sobs come out my mouth for me not to struggle from breathing.It was been weeks when I choses to study at home but I could not focus myself on the lessons because something bad was stealing my mind which made me to not think clearly.Even Jinx was confused because of my situation. Not that he do not know my problems and where I was suffering. I know he was getting tired of taking care of me because I always do the same thing. I do not eat that much and I prefer crying in the pillows.I always sa
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I don't get myself anymore.I sighed heavily and wiped my tears strolled down my cheeks. Funny why I am crying in the midst of washing the dishes I have used after I eat. I remembered my family and especially my father, I miss them but they do not even do the same.I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying nonstop. When I finished washing the plates, I looked at the time and saw that it was already six in the evening.I should go to sleep now.I yawned and stared at the blank wall. I do not know what would be the right thing to do since I could not think clearly. I closed all of the windows and doors first before I head to the room where I would be sleeping. But in the midst of walking towards the room, I saw a note plastered on the cabinet.It caught my attention because I have read his name over there — Jinx' name.I went near it and got it before I read what was written. "Always full your stomach and ta
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"I am so happy for the both of you!"My lips automatically formed a smile as Jinx's father embraced me. We just had a dinner together. I am beyond grateful to everything. That even after years that we did not talk, nor any connections, we still have the closeness we had before. I am not saying that we're too close that could bond or hangout together, it was just that we were cool since then."Thank you," I whispered to him and let go. Jinx just gave me a sweet smile. All he did in the midst of the dinner is to stare at me. Even if his father asks him, he will answer with his eyes on my face. I really stopped myself from kicking his ass off. He is kind of annoying."Maybe I will now leave the both of you here," Mister Adonis said. I was the one who requested for a dinner, a short dinner. I am thankful that he also want us to bond with his son. But of course, he has a work so he could not stay here long. He excused himself
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"Hey, good thing and you are already awake." I stared at nothingness while I feel nothing. I moved my right hand to see if I am still alive and good thing I still could feel myself. I just feel nothing, really. I do not have to look who was beside me who talked because from the tone of the voice, I knew that it was Jinx. I felt myself lying on a soft mattress, and I am inside a room that is not familiar to me. Where am I? "Here, drink some water," Jinx handed me a glass of water. I tried to get it but my hands were too weak to reach for it. I gulped hard. My throat already needs water because it was getting dry. Jinx, then, stood up to guide me sit on the bed and lean against the headboard. "Here, drink it." Good thing he made me drink it with his right hand holding the glass, while his other hand gently held my chin to guide me. I gulped the water quite fast because I really am getting thirsty as seconds pass by.
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"Do you want to go with me visit mom and dad?"Cine and Val nodded their head to me. My lips then automatically formed a smile. It will be nice if we, sisters, Faye, Cine and Val will go together and visit our parents in the cemetery. It will be a family bond."I will go and guard you guys," Simon interfered and forced a smile. We did not complained at it, though. He wants us safe. He did not want something bad to happen to us. We were thankful that Simon did not leave our side even how hard it is to manage his time for work. He should have already focus himself to the work but he insisted to still guard us. Something bad might happen, he says. But we all hope that there is none."Yeah, I will, too," Jinx appeared all of a sudden. I thought he went off for an important matter? Why is he here?"Alright, we're all done. Let's go?" Faye smiled to us. We all nodded and headed outside the house. We used S
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"How is Fin?" I asked Jinx while I am busy staring at nowhere. I want to know where he is now. I just want to hear the place where he belongs to. The place where he must suffer and pay the bad things he did.He sighed and looked at me. "He was already sent to the prison."I pursed my lips and nodded my head. "Good to hear that."He stared at me for a moment and all I did is to look away from him. He was like trying to read me. Trying to know what I am thinking. I really felt awkward when he tries to stare at me because it sent me a different feeling I could not define. It really is annoying when he look at me like that. It was nostalgic."Do you want to visit him and talk to him?" he asked and sat on the chair far away from me but facing me.I answered him without looking at him, "Yes, I want to." I want to make him realize how evil he is. That he did so many bad th
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"Thank you for coming..."Jinx just threw me a glance and say nothing. He kept on driving his car as fast as he could to get away from the place where Fin planed to kill me. From the place of nightmare. The place where I think that was already my last breathe. The place of devil.My hands were shaking so bad because or nervousness and fear at the same time. I do not know how to calm myself. The mere thought of myself fighting for my life is already making my system weak. The thought of Fin planning to murder me was like already killing me. The thoughts were making my heart break into pieces.It hurts.Since I was in the womb of my mother, I was already blamed. Someone is already mad at me even though I was not born yet. That even if I have no knowledge about their anger, my individual has. I did nothing. I was still a very innocent child when they put all of their anger towards me.
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"You have the heart to know everything?"Even if I am afraid, I have to know everything. Even if I know that my heart could not take it, I have to bear with it. It sucks. The thought of not knowing the truth while you on the other hand were the one who is suffering in pain and agony because of the blame that people throw towards you."Yes, I have," I said bravely. I have to show him that I am not afraid at all. That I have the guts to accept everything. To know the truth. I have to know everything. I am in the center of the blame and so I have the rights to fucking know the freaking truth. I am in the midst of blame and I cannot even escape from it. I was stuck and I can only get off after I get through the barrier and challenges.His lips automatically formed a devilish grin. "Waste time to know the truth before you will die?"When I nodded my head with no hesitation, the expression of his face chan
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I didn't know what happened next.I just found myself in a dark room where I see nothing but darkness alone. I didn't know how I get here. I do not know where I am. It was like, I was in my highway to hell. I felt like, this is my last.I tried to move, but I cannot.My hands were freaking tied!Where the hell I am?! How did I fucking get here?!I sighed heavily in anger. I then closed my eyes as the door from nowhere swung open. The bright light hit my eyes and face and so I have to not see it so it wouldn't hurt my eye.The hell. Am I in a horror movie?"You're now awake." A voice lurks in every corner of the room. I gulped as I had goosebumps. The voice is so... creepy. "How is your sleep, Astrallaine?"When I opened my eyes, a man standing amidst the light welcomed my eyesight. His face isn't clear to my view, but
