NELLY I know I shouldn't be snooping around, exploring the rooms of his house without permission, but I'm being impulsive, driven by my thirst for him. I turn my gaze to the corridor where his room is to make sure he's not coming, pressing my lips together, knowing how much I'll annoy him if I'm discovered here, right in front of the forbidden door, the only place in the house I haven't been yet, and I take a deep breath. Making the final decision, I reach for the door handle and surprised to find it unlocked, I check the corridor again, my saliva running down my dry throat. Christ. This is about your past, something intimate. But... I can't go back now, I need to understand your mind, get to know your ghosts in order to get to your heart. I enter the room, facing the darkness. I close the door slowly, avoiding making any noise. My feet are bare against the tiled floor, and on my body is a clean blouse of yours. My breathing is rapid, and I have to put my hand on my chest to cont
NELLY Tears fall from my eyes and reach the black velvet, I cry for him, for Lígia, for Luís Miguel and for the baby who never had the chance to live. I cry for all the innocent victims who died because of irresponsible drivers, drunk idiots who only think about themselves and how drunk they can get. I cry as I put everything back in its place, I continue to allow the tears to fall as I slide the tape and close the boxes, but I wince when I hear footsteps coming, I wipe the tears with the wrist of the shirt I wear and drop the work in half, walking on tiptoe and turning off the light before peeping through the door and escaping to the pool area, diving into the cold water to hide the tears, a few minutes later I hear my name in his mouth and he comes through the door like a rocket, eyes sharp and a serious face. He knows. I hug my own body, feeling the fabric of the blouse stick to my skin with the help of the water. David Rosna and ergolook into his, finding hunger in place of ange
NELLY I left David's apartment to go home. It seemed like the right decision after the silent breakfast. The atmosphere became awkward after that fateful sentence left my lips and, although I wasn't expecting a reciprocal response and was acting according to my heart, his detachment and obvious discomfort made me sick. My submission to him is nothing new, but I feel as if I've broken some magical barrier by confessing my love in that intimate moment, with his sperm still dripping out of me, I'm transparent when we're together, my actions are like the first steps of a child, and I've already made it more than clear how old this feeling is. Come on, even a blind man could see my teenage crush on him. The man isn't crazy, and I'm sure he's noticed. I'm not crazy either, and I know he has feelings for me, even if they're small. Argh! I shouldn't have spoken, that's the truth. Should I call and ask if we're all right? I think and stare at the cell phone in my right hand, tempted to loo
DAVID "You really don't want me to take you to the hospital?" I squeezed my partner and friend's shoulder, understanding the intensity of the pain he was feeling. Years ago it was me, the same lost look and countenance. My chest tightens, because it's like looking in the mirror. But there is still hope for him. "No, I called her parents. I... Uh." Her gaze meets mine, stunned, and I can see the tears welling up in her eyes. "She's my life, man. I can't lose this woman." I sigh and pull into a hug. Giulliard cries like a frightened child in my arms. "You won't." I say, though I have not the slightest idea of your bride's present state, because that is the only comfort I can offer, and I hope it is all that a tormented heart needs. "She's so perfect, man. So full of life that even when she's grieving and having big problems to solve, she's the most amazing person I've ever met." I keep quiet, realizing it's a vent, he needs it and all I'm going to do is listen. "We never got b
NELLY "I suppose I expressed myself badly. I'm sorry. Is our time up?" I didn't wait for your confirmation, I just hurried to grab my short-handled bag and get up from the small gray L-shaped sofa. "Actually, we still have fifteen minutes," says the man, looking at the gold watch on his wrist with an even-handed expression. ''Really?'' My voice is strained from trying to sound relaxed, my eyes being drawn to the door every moment. He notices, steps in front of me, and advances towards the rectangular wooden table that I've never seen him use, but which always has a cup of coffee on top. Octavio shuffles some papers, clutters the pile of folders, and ignores my presence. "Doctor..." I stop, cleared my throat and drew some air into my lungs and changed my body to face it. ''Octavio.'' I call him by his first name, regaining his attention. "I just remembered that I had a very important appointment. Do you mind if we forget the remaining fifteen minutes?" He smiles, but doesn't show
NELLY I stare at my best friend's face in disbelief, my eyes blink, and a few tears come down. By the time I thought it was too late, my feet had carried me to the outside of the restaurant. I stopped in front of Alice and pulled my best friend's arm, leading her away from Edward. The expression on her face was the same as mine, disbelief and dread. ''Nelly.'' My name came out like an uncertain whisper from his mouth, and I couldn't stop blinking. This can only be a dream. "You're here..." I mean, still incredulous. "How are you here? How did I not know you were coming back?" The flurry of questions, picking up a loose strand of her hair and assessing the new hue. Platinum blonde, almost as white as your skin. "I can explain, it's not what it seems." My eyes returned to Edward at the same moment, realizing that his attention is also focused on me. I look back at Alice, expecting a logical explanation for the scene that I had come to believe there was one. "How did this happen? I
DAVID Of all places, I thought my club would be the best place to hide from and think. But I was mistaken. I can't think of here. Not in a clear way. Only in her, of course. Nelly. What the hell! I am a grown man, a widower. Any nymph shouldn't mess with my mind so much. I squeeze my head away from the drink that Nicole, the club's new hire for the bar, hands me. She ignores my grimace and pushes the glass in front of my eyes. "You need to." she says, turning to arrange the liquor bottles in their places on the shelf. I watch the clear liquid with lemon slices in the background. I don't think about it. I flip the content at once. ''What the hell is this? I groan as I feel my throat burn inside and stare at the glass of liquor in my hands.Nicole gives me a resolute smile."Something strong and good," she replies with a wink, pouring more of the clear liquid into my glass, not bothering to add lemon wedges this time. I evaluate the content, the taste still alive in the languag
NELLY"Are you okay?" I wipe away the first tears with my fingertips and stare into Kiara's eyes, forcing a closed-mouth smile. Not knowing what to say, I just bang my head in denial. "Okay, come here." She pulls me into a hug, stroking my back with the tips of her nails like only a cat would."Get me out of here." I can tell, feeling such an emptiness in my chest that it's hard to breathe. ''Please, Kiara.''''Shiiii... Let's go, honey."I bring the air into my lungs and then let it out, counting the seconds in thought. She wraps her arms around us and I walk to her rhythm, taking it one step at a time."I don't feel anything." I check, bringing my right hand to my chest to check the heartbeat and make sure I still have the heart beating. "It's like I'm numb" I add.''Just breathe,'' Kiara whispers, opening the exit door as she looks at me sideways and waits for me to take a step."He doesn't love me, I've never had any chance.""Who?" she asks, dragging her open hand down my back in