DAVID Of all places, I thought my club would be the best place to hide from and think. But I was mistaken. I can't think of here. Not in a clear way. Only in her, of course. Nelly. What the hell! I am a grown man, a widower. Any nymph shouldn't mess with my mind so much. I squeeze my head away from the drink that Nicole, the club's new hire for the bar, hands me. She ignores my grimace and pushes the glass in front of my eyes. "You need to." she says, turning to arrange the liquor bottles in their places on the shelf. I watch the clear liquid with lemon slices in the background. I don't think about it. I flip the content at once. ''What the hell is this? I groan as I feel my throat burn inside and stare at the glass of liquor in my hands.Nicole gives me a resolute smile."Something strong and good," she replies with a wink, pouring more of the clear liquid into my glass, not bothering to add lemon wedges this time. I evaluate the content, the taste still alive in the languag
NELLY"Are you okay?" I wipe away the first tears with my fingertips and stare into Kiara's eyes, forcing a closed-mouth smile. Not knowing what to say, I just bang my head in denial. "Okay, come here." She pulls me into a hug, stroking my back with the tips of her nails like only a cat would."Get me out of here." I can tell, feeling such an emptiness in my chest that it's hard to breathe. ''Please, Kiara.''''Shiiii... Let's go, honey."I bring the air into my lungs and then let it out, counting the seconds in thought. She wraps her arms around us and I walk to her rhythm, taking it one step at a time."I don't feel anything." I check, bringing my right hand to my chest to check the heartbeat and make sure I still have the heart beating. "It's like I'm numb" I add.''Just breathe,'' Kiara whispers, opening the exit door as she looks at me sideways and waits for me to take a step."He doesn't love me, I've never had any chance.""Who?" she asks, dragging her open hand down my back in
NELLYI slide my back across the wood of the door until I reach the floor. Bring my knees together on my stomach, I remain in the position until I have free mind. I'm sure my eyes are swollen when I get up, not knowing how much time has passed, go to the bathroom and wash my face. I gather my things in a single suitcase and put everything in my dad's old car that we keep in the garage.I drive to my apartment, leave my things in the living room, and head to the nearest grocery store.Not only that, but I can feel the other customers' eyes on me as I continue to place packets of candy, snacks, and cookies in the cash register. However, I don't care, I just don't care anymore. Eating is the only thing that will bring some relief, my only choice that won't bring disappointment.I pull on my winter coat tight and try to fasten the first few buttons, aware that I've gained a few pounds in the last few days, but refusing to figure out the exact amount. A little boy, no more than three year
NELLYI walk home with my thoughts far away, feeling a knot in my stomach and vomit come up to my throat. I lean against a random wall and count how long it will take me to get into my apartment. My cell phone rings in my purse and I ignore it, going back to walking when I feel better, but suddenly the idea of going home and not finding anyone turns me off, my cell phone rings again and I stop to answer it. Surprise and acting on autoTheticO, I confirm to Octávio that I'm on my way to his lecture.Where was it again?''Yes, of course I know where it is. ''I speak convincingly, not wanting to poke holes in my own lie. Even so, he speaks the address slowly, insisting on repeating it twice more for me to memorize. I turn off the phone, pack my bags in my purse, and hail a cab.Twenty-three minutes later, I get out of the car and parachute into the courtyard of a college crowded with women.The mix of voices causes an echo even outdoors and I feel diminished in front of so many eyes.''I
NELLYIs he?"My flight is about to depart, thank you for bringing me here. I really needed a friend today."I say with anguish in my chest.Smile appears on her face, and she hugs me excitedly."You don't have to go," she whispers, her head buried in my neck."Yes, I do. It's the best.""Thank you for bringing me over and being a trusted friend." I emphasize the last word so that she keeps her promise and doesn't say anything to her boss."You haven't officially resigned from your position yet." He argues, ignoring my words. "Everyone in the company misses you." I doubt it's true, but I smile at his attempt to make me feel special."I sent a letter to HR" I explain."Awnn.. Are you sure they haven't lost their license? You know, a big company always has a huge influx of people coming in and out. Maybe they've forgotten." I frowned.Should I be worried?"You know you're not going to be able to work for a new company when you're tied up in another one, right?""I'm sure they've seen my e
NELLYI don't knock on the door, but stare at the doorknob as if my end is near. I lose track of time when the first two minutes pass, so when I hear my mother call his name, the man I love, in a seductive way, as if they were close, I reach my limit of what I can bear and open the door. My eyes scan every inch of the room until they find the woman who brought me into this world and the man I love sitting together on the couch, very close to each other. They both look at me in shock, like they're seeing a ghost and just can't believe it."Do I interrupt?" I asked, focusing on my mother's hands squeezing David's left arm. Neither of them says anything, they just stay in the same position without taking their eyes off me.''Nelly.'' David says my name as he did when we were alone, locked in his apartment or curled up on his living room floor. Only this time, no heat passes through my body. In fact, the opposite effect happens.I'm angry. Furious with him. "Daughter?'' Kaciana speaks and
DAVID "Won't you go after her?" I clenched my hands into fists and counted to ten to the sound of Kaciana's voice. I can't attack a woman, even if I despise her and she's a disgusting human being.I stare at the door through which she left, the girl who is in love with me, the girl whose heart I have broken, and I mentally repeat that I must go after her, to go after the girl who has my mind and dry every one of her tears. But I can't. Not when I'm the main cause of your pain."That's pathetic, the way you look at it." Kaciana says, and I feel her body moving closer to mine.My muscles tense up, but I keep my hands down."You know, Nelly's father was the only man I really loved and cared for. His death was like my death too, I spent a lot of time trying to live like nothing had changed, but when you love someone the way I loved them, you can't just move on like nothing happened.""So? Do you expect this sad story of yours to touch my heart?" I say in a harsh tone."You and her would n
NELLYMy eyelids are heavy, and I have to work harder than usual to open my eyes. When I do, everything is dark.If it weren't for a gap in the roof of what I believe to be an abandoned shed, I wouldn't have seen my best friend slumped over and tied up next to me.The sound of heels crunching dry leaves and slamming against the worn floor makes me look for her in the shadows. I don't need time to remember what happened when I left David's office. She did it. Charlotte. "Where's Kiara, you crazy girl!? What did my friend do? An enormous rage arises in me when I remember her frightened face just before Charlotte hit her with a wooden stick.We were behind David's building, Kiara was trying to get some information out of me when I told her that I didn't reveal about the pregnancy. She took me there so as not to attract anyone's attention and because she still hoped to change my mind."Look who's awake. Finally." Charlotte says in an amused voice, smiling and clapping her hands. I put my