Sixty-seven"Ate, problem," bungad agad ni Ella sa akin pagkapasok na pagkapasok niya sa office ko. By the expression of her face and on how she reacts, I might say that it's really a problem. I put down the folder I'm holding, and took off my Bone Prone Optical Glasses of Chrome Hearts as I raised a brow at her."What?"She heaved a deep sigh as she place the folder she's holding to my table. My brows immediately furrowed when I saw what's in the folder. "I contacted the owner of the photo-art the other day, remember the owner of 'Sweet Dull Memories' na kasali sa exhibit next week. I did reached her —" "So? What's the catch? I told you to settle those arts rights?" "She suddenly said that she doesn't want her work to be displayed." I stared at her, trying to process what she just said. "A collector just contacted me and saw our pamphlet to our website, and she want that certain photo-arts personally."I massage my temple out of frustration all of a sudden. O freaking come on,
Sixty-eightI successfully park the car outside the Korean restaurant. Nauna akong lumabas sa kanya at naglakad papasok sa resto. I can't breathe with him by my side. His giving me feelings I tried to forget. Every time I stared at his eyes, akala ko okay na ako, but everything just turned upside down. My efforts just got wasted all of a sudden. Yes, I still like him... no, I still love him, but I freakingly know that we can't be together anymore. He already have Angel-eech. He turned his back at me again, while I'm still waiting for him to get me back. Sumuko na naman siya dahil lang sinabi ko sa kanya na everything is a mistake that night. Hindi ako maghahabol, dahil hindi iyon gawin ng magaganda. The foods I ordered just came, napatingin ako sa labas dahil hindi pa rin dumarating si Chaster. O freaking come on.Mariin kong naipikit ang mga mata ko. Tatayo na sana ako para puntahan siya ng bigla siyang pumasok. Pinanood ko siya habang nililibot ang mga mata niya sa kabuuan ng rest
Sixty-nineHave you ever dealt with something you can't handle? Dealing with it, until you realize something won't be the same again. Maybe that's how it really works, that you can't hold everything, that there are things that you need to let go for you to hold yourself from falling apart. "Ate, you're drinking again?" Ella asked as soon as she saw me at the veranda. "I'm not drinking, I'm just unwinding," I plainly answered as I drink in one shot the beer in can I'm holding. I heaved a deep sigh as I stared blankly at the sky above us. Even the sky is freakingly not on my side, there's no stars, even the moon is hiding from me. It's been a week since I decided to get back. As soon as the gallery finished, I immediately booked a flight. Wala na akong rason pa para mag stay sa Pilipinas. Yes, I do have my family there and friends, but I don't think it's enough for me to stay. "New York is still the same," I muttered to myself as I pursed my lips and closed my eyes intently when a
EpilogueThings I didn't expect to happen. People I didn't expect that will come into my life, love I didn't expect to receive, and a woman I didn't expect that I will going to spend my whole life with. Unexpected things really do happen, na dati ay hindi ako naniniwala, pero simula ng dumating siya sa buhay ko lahat nagawa kong paniwalaan, lahat ng imposible ay naging posible para sa akin. I met her at the right time, and at the perfect place. "Dude, sino yang tinitingnan mo?" tanong ni Hans na lumapit sa akin at inabutan ako ng yosi. "Yung pinsan ni Clay," sagot ko ng hindi tinatanggal ang pagkakatingin sa kanya. I fell in love at first sight. I admit it. "Dude, punta ako sa bahay niyo mamaya," paalala ko kay Clay. "Sige dude."I got chance to finally meet her. Mas maganda pala siya sa malapitan. "Apakaarte," nakangising sabi ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. Umirap naman siya sa akin agad. "Apakaattitude."She makes face. I chuckled. She's cute. Finally, I got her attention.
PROLOGUE 'All the beautiful memories, just turns into a beautiful nightmares.' Breaking up with the guy you love the most is the hardest part of being in love. Letting go as if it’s only the choice you need to choose. Letting go even though you want to hold that person as tightly as you can just to make that person stay besides you. I really want to hold back, I want to fight for us, but how can I do that? Kung ang taong inaasahan mong lalaban din para sa iyo ay sumuko na nang tuluyan? Paano mo pa siya hahawakan kung siya na mismo ang kusang bumibitaw?Habang nakatingin ako sa kanya, hindi ko mapigilang madurog. Parang unti-unti akong nilulusaw. This pain is unbearable, but what can I do? All I need to do is to hide it and bear the pain alone because he is longer able to ease this pain. Dahil siya ang dahilan kung bakit nasasaktan ako ngayon.Inilahad ko ang kamay ko. I smiled, as if I’m not dying inside. "You still need to keep your promise, before you officially break it."Kinuha
One. Living a comfortable life. Living a life that I can get what I wants. An easy life. Lahat ng gusto ko nasusunod. Lahat ng gusto ko nakukuha ko. Dahil lumaki ako na iyon ang naranasan ko. Pero sa kabila ng lahat ng iyon, isa lang ang hindi ko makuha-kuha, atensyon. Lumaki ako na ang madalas ko lang kasama ay mga maids, though I have cousins, but then that’s not what I really want. Nakukuha ko man ang lahat, pero ang pagmamahal na gustong-gusto kong makita at maramdaman, hindi ko mahanap. I might living a Princess-like life, but despite of that I’m being stuck on the castle which so hard to consider home. Masaya? Hindi por que nakukuha ko lahat, masaya ako. I’m hurting in ways that no one even knows about it, because I know I have to handle this pain alone. Natuto akong itago lahat ng nararamdaman ko, dahil wala rin namang makakaintindi sa akin kundi ang sarili ko lang.“GO FIGHT WIN!”The loud cheers covered the whole arena with a loud banging drum. Everybody seems like so excite
Two. All I want is a peaceful life. A life that I can consider as my own. I got no family to lean on every time I need some help or troubled mind. Yes, I do have my tita’s and tito’s, as well as my cousins, but then I still feel so alone. Minsan natanong ko na rin ang sarili ko, kung tunay nga ba akong Cassidy, kung parte ba talaga ako ng pamilya, kasi kahit na anong gawin ko, wala akong maramdaman na pagmamahal galing sa taong nag-iisa na lang sa buhay ko, my dad.I tried everything to please him before, nag-aral ako nang mabuti, pero hindi iyon naging sapat para makuha ko ang atensyon ni Dad. Kaya isang araw nagising na lang ako na hindi na siya hinihintay. Hindi na ako umasa pa na mapapansin niya ako."IKAW NA BATA KA!" The oldy exclaimed as soon as I entered the mansion. My brows furrowed. What's wrong with this amoy lupa again? She's surrounded by dark aura while trying to compress herself. I just rolled my eyes and shrugged my head."Hindi ka ba talaga titino?"Ganito ko mada
Three. It's seriously freakingly annoying!"Dash. Okay ka lang?" I glared at Sunny who still freakingly laughing. Huminga ako ng malalim para pakalmahin ang nerves ko. I'm still fuming mad about the scene happened today. Mas lalo pang nakakainis dahil ako pa ang naging masama sa huli, but I didn't regret what I did to that babaeng higad. Serves her right! Dapat nga kinalbo ko pa siya. Paepal kasi yung Camyot na iyon na walking deo masyadong pabida! "Are you having fun?" I hissed. I shut off my eyes with my thick long eyelashes. "Suspension lang naman." I eyed at Camille who's holding her book of the week while her back is leaning on the wall. She smiled at me. O freaking! I really hate it when she smile."Whatever!" I scowled.Sunny laughed. "Defeated ka 'no?" I glared at Sunny who just shrugged her head. "Saan ka na naman kaya ipapadala ngayon? Sana all nakakapag bakasyon kahit school days." She's enjoying this. I hate her."Shush you!" Thinking about it makes me cringe! The las
EpilogueThings I didn't expect to happen. People I didn't expect that will come into my life, love I didn't expect to receive, and a woman I didn't expect that I will going to spend my whole life with. Unexpected things really do happen, na dati ay hindi ako naniniwala, pero simula ng dumating siya sa buhay ko lahat nagawa kong paniwalaan, lahat ng imposible ay naging posible para sa akin. I met her at the right time, and at the perfect place. "Dude, sino yang tinitingnan mo?" tanong ni Hans na lumapit sa akin at inabutan ako ng yosi. "Yung pinsan ni Clay," sagot ko ng hindi tinatanggal ang pagkakatingin sa kanya. I fell in love at first sight. I admit it. "Dude, punta ako sa bahay niyo mamaya," paalala ko kay Clay. "Sige dude."I got chance to finally meet her. Mas maganda pala siya sa malapitan. "Apakaarte," nakangising sabi ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. Umirap naman siya sa akin agad. "Apakaattitude."She makes face. I chuckled. She's cute. Finally, I got her attention.
Sixty-nineHave you ever dealt with something you can't handle? Dealing with it, until you realize something won't be the same again. Maybe that's how it really works, that you can't hold everything, that there are things that you need to let go for you to hold yourself from falling apart. "Ate, you're drinking again?" Ella asked as soon as she saw me at the veranda. "I'm not drinking, I'm just unwinding," I plainly answered as I drink in one shot the beer in can I'm holding. I heaved a deep sigh as I stared blankly at the sky above us. Even the sky is freakingly not on my side, there's no stars, even the moon is hiding from me. It's been a week since I decided to get back. As soon as the gallery finished, I immediately booked a flight. Wala na akong rason pa para mag stay sa Pilipinas. Yes, I do have my family there and friends, but I don't think it's enough for me to stay. "New York is still the same," I muttered to myself as I pursed my lips and closed my eyes intently when a
Sixty-eightI successfully park the car outside the Korean restaurant. Nauna akong lumabas sa kanya at naglakad papasok sa resto. I can't breathe with him by my side. His giving me feelings I tried to forget. Every time I stared at his eyes, akala ko okay na ako, but everything just turned upside down. My efforts just got wasted all of a sudden. Yes, I still like him... no, I still love him, but I freakingly know that we can't be together anymore. He already have Angel-eech. He turned his back at me again, while I'm still waiting for him to get me back. Sumuko na naman siya dahil lang sinabi ko sa kanya na everything is a mistake that night. Hindi ako maghahabol, dahil hindi iyon gawin ng magaganda. The foods I ordered just came, napatingin ako sa labas dahil hindi pa rin dumarating si Chaster. O freaking come on.Mariin kong naipikit ang mga mata ko. Tatayo na sana ako para puntahan siya ng bigla siyang pumasok. Pinanood ko siya habang nililibot ang mga mata niya sa kabuuan ng rest
Sixty-seven"Ate, problem," bungad agad ni Ella sa akin pagkapasok na pagkapasok niya sa office ko. By the expression of her face and on how she reacts, I might say that it's really a problem. I put down the folder I'm holding, and took off my Bone Prone Optical Glasses of Chrome Hearts as I raised a brow at her."What?"She heaved a deep sigh as she place the folder she's holding to my table. My brows immediately furrowed when I saw what's in the folder. "I contacted the owner of the photo-art the other day, remember the owner of 'Sweet Dull Memories' na kasali sa exhibit next week. I did reached her —" "So? What's the catch? I told you to settle those arts rights?" "She suddenly said that she doesn't want her work to be displayed." I stared at her, trying to process what she just said. "A collector just contacted me and saw our pamphlet to our website, and she want that certain photo-arts personally."I massage my temple out of frustration all of a sudden. O freaking come on,
Sixty-sixI've never been good of leaving things behind, because I'm always be the one who is being left behind, but despite of that I learned so many things, like finding out who's there for me, and never left when I needed someone the most. I learned to face everything without fear. I learned to forgive but I know I'll never forger everything. "Will you still keep someone that hurt you and cause you so much pain?" Pare-pareho nila akong nilingon ng magsalita ako"Oo naman," sagot agad ni Sunny na wala man lang pagdadalawang isip"No," firmed na sagot ni Vivi"Why not?" taas kilay na sagot ni Shantelle "What for?" simpeng sagot ni MilleThey have different point of views and thoughts. Maybe because, we have different experiences. We tend to still accept someone despite of hurting us, not because they're being martyr, but because they sitll love that someone. On the contrary, some people doesn't want to try it again, not because they're coward, but because they are too afraid to be
Sixty-five"Chaster and I, are dating," she happily announced at the middle of the dinner. Napuno ng tanungan ang hapag kainan habang ako ay patuloy pa ring kumakain. Ramdam ko ang tingin sa akin ng mga pinsan ko pero hindi ko na lang ito pinansin. "What? You and Kuya Chaster are dating?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Ella. "Actually po, I didn't expect din po that he'll asked me out, kasi I'm still rooting him with Dashelle."I sneered. I couldn't stop myself to glare at her. Is she for real? O freaking come on. "Ya. Being hypocrite doesn't have cure," I mocked as I sip onto my wine. "If you really dating him, you freakingly don't need to drag my name out. Halatang nagpapabida ka na naman," dagdag ko. I don't know what's her deal. O freaking come on. So they're dating? Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kutsarang hawak ko. "I'm just saying lang naman," she fake a smile. My brows furrowed. "So? Do I need to care with your relationship?"What's wrong with this bitch? O geez. So she wante
Sixty-four Last day na namin ngayon, maagang natapos ang convention dahil magkakaroon ng party mamayang gabi. Ella and I just spend our free time sleeping. Chaster is so persistent, he really never failed to annoys me. Ugh. Nagising ako ng tumunog ang phone ko. Half-sleep, I answered the call. "What?" tamad na tamad na tanong ko. Halos hindi ko pa maibukas ang mata ko dahil sa antok. (I love you—) Mas mabilis pa kay flash na inend ko ang call ng marinig ko kung sino ang tumawag. Binato ko sa kung saan ang phone ko. Narinig ko itong tumunog pero hinayaan ko na lang ito.Another way to pester me. He really knows his ways. "Saan ka pupunta, Ate? Akala ko ba hindi ka a-attend sa party?" tanong ni Ella na busy pa rin sa pag aayos niya para sa party. She'll going to attend the party. "Do I need to ask permission or report to you everything I do?" I asked with my brow archedHumaba naman agad ang nguso niya. Kinuha niya ang coat niya na nakapatong sa kama niya at sinuot ito. We hav
Sixty-three"Ate," tawag pansin sa akin ni Ella ng dinantay ko ang ulo ko sa balikat niya. "I'm so sleepy. The presentation is so boring," I said yawning. My eyes unintentionally closed, because I freakingly am so sleepy. I woke up early in the morning just to hear some boring presentations? O freaking come on. "Just wake me up when it's done," tamad na tamad na turan ko. Kinawit ko ang braso ko sa braso niya para mas maging komportable ako sa paghilig sa kanya. Hindi naman na siya nagreklamo. "Just go back to your hotel room if you're just going to sleep here."Nagpantig ang tenga ko dahil sa narinig ko, at tila nawala ang pagkakaantok ko. Taas kilay kong tinignan ang nagsalita, it's Chaster na nakaupo sa likuran ko, straight face at emotionless lang ang tingin niya sa akin na tumagal ng ilang segundo bago siya nag iwas nang tingin at tinuon ang atensyon sa harapan. "Conceited pathetic idiotic moronic sleazy freaking creature," sambit ko. Muli niya akong nilingon, ngayon ay ma
Sixty-two "What do you want to talk about?" I asked with my brow furrowed as soon as I saw him sitting comfortably at the couch near the glass window of the restaurant. He smiled and wave his hand when he saw me. I just rolled my eyes. I placed my bag at the table and sat comfortably in front of him with my cross legs and arms. "Let’s eat first," he said instead answering my question. I flipped my hair beautifully with class. He started eating na as soon I sat down while me still busy showing my hates to him."Huwag mo kong masyadong titigan, baka mafall ka ulit sa akin." I chuckled sarcastically as I flipped my hair elegantly. "Excuse me? I'm not staring at you, it just happened that you're in front of me," I stated fiercely, baka isipin niya tinititigan ko talaga siya. "Fall my ass," I added. Doh? There's no hell way I do that. He chuckled as if he was so amaze on what I've said. "I'm just joking you don't need to be guilty." Agad nag salubong ang kilay ko dahil sa sinabi