One day you're in love

My sixth sense warned me that something wasn’t right. I could sense it in the pit of my stomach. My heartbeat kept skipping every so often.

I just couldn’t quite put my finger on what was causing it. So, I ignored the feeling, blaming it on my adrenaline and paranoia. This morning’s argument with Jack was worse than usual. Things were getting bad. His outbursts had become more frequent. I kept hoping our relationship would take a turn, but the only turn it took was for the worse. From the first word that aimed to humiliate to the first physical shove, then a slap across the face. I didn’t think I could forgive. Ever!

But those deeply rooted standards of ‘marriage is for life’ were difficult to shake off.

I settled myself in my home office chair, deciding to work from home on impulse this morning.

A great perk of being with the same company for a long time. All the years of working hard and proving myself had finally paid off. I’d come a long way. Jack tried to diminish it, but I couldn’t help feeling proud. Silently scoffing to myself, I dismissed Jack’s stupid comments that he seemed to love throwing my way. I wouldn’t take criticism from someone that had absolutely no goals and liked to talk down to everyone.

One day you’re in love; the next you can’t stand the sight of each other. Geez, how did we get so far apart!

Shaking my head, I hoped to forget all of the real life problems and just focus on the numbers in front of me. Time seemed to fly by and daily troubles faded into the back of my mind when the slam of a door startled me back into reality.

My head snapped up and my spine straightened. Had it been the front door? My heart raced into overdrive and I swallowed a shaky breath. I wasn't supposed to be home today. It was a last minute decision. But how would a burglar know that?

The sound of something being knocked over had me standing abruptly. My office chair fell back with a loud thud, and I cursed myself for my clumsiness.

Would they know I'm here now?

"Goddamn it," I whispered while my heart hammered frantically.

A quarter into the swear jar for Mommy! My daughter's sweet voice taunted me.

I held my breath as my ears buzzed from the adrenaline rushing through my veins. Fear gripped my throat, and all the while, I kept telling myself it was just my imagination. I lived in a safe neighborhood.

I didn't hear any footsteps. No movement.

Calm down. Calm down, my mind kept whispering. Otherwise, I'd hear nothing over this drumming in my head. Another deep breath and I took the first step, leaving the safety of my office. I quietly tiptoed out of my office and peeked into the foyer.

“Lilly!” Jack’s angry voice echoed through the empty house.

Jesus Christ!

Relief washed over me and I relaxed, just slightly. I’d take Jack, my husband, over a burglar anytime.

Releasing my breath, I went back to my desk. I didn’t bother answering him. I wouldn’t engage in another round of arguing. We said plenty this morning, and lately, it seemed like a single word by me set him off into a rage.

Bending over to pick up my chair, a pain shot through my scalp. It was as if everything was happening too fast for my brain to process. Jack’s hand fisted my hair, pulling me back while his eyes frantically searched my office. It was a simple room, each corner visible. What the hell was he even looking for?

“Where is he?” Jack spat out, his glare furious. His other hand lifted, and I knew what was coming next.

I’d had enough. ‘Marriage is forever’ had been drilled into me, but this just wasn’t worth it.

“Get away from me!” I pushed against him, desperately trying to block his hand.

The impact had my head jerking and a burning pain exploded across my cheek. A cry slipped through my lips, but I quickly stifled it, biting down on my lip. Tears stung my eyes and black dots swam in my vision.

“Let go of me!” I shouted angrily, shoving against him. Except that each move had him jerking my brown locks harder.

“You fucking whore!” he yelled, dragging me by my hair. “Where is he?”

“There is nobody here,” I screamed back. “Let go of me, you sick asshole. Just because you sleep around doesn’t mean that I do too!” This was it; I was done. I had reached my limit. This marriage was unsalvageable. I could honestly say I had tried to make it work. For longer than I should have.

This ended right here and right now. I’d be the first woman in my family to end up divorced, but at this point, I didn’t give a fuck. My aunts, uncles, cousins… they could all say whatever they wanted. They weren’t living this hell; I was.

He released my hair and I exhaled as the pain subsided, but my scalp still throbbed. The relief was short lived as he snatched my arm, his hand squeezing tightly and dragging me out of my office.

I’d have bruises for days; I just knew it. It will be the last time, I swore to myself. Jack didn’t deserve any more chances from me.

“Let’s go,” he snapped, an unfamiliar menace in his voice. I didn’t even recognize him anymore. He was not the man I married.

“Where?” I asked as he dragged me up the stairs. Where in the hell did he want to go?

“Why didn’t you go to work?” he shouted, spit flying out of his mouth. “Waiting for your man?”

“Stop it!” I snapped, trying to jerk my arm out of his hold. “You’re being ridiculous. I am working. From home.”

I stumbled, my knee hitting the corner of the step. I silently cursed as pain shot through my knee, but I swallowed my whimper. Straightening back up, I tried to keep up or risk falling again.

“Liar. You didn’t say you’d work from home today.”

He was cruel when paranoid and angry. Or over the top jealous.

“It was a last minute decision.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he bellowed like a madman. “You are with another man. You think I’m stupid.”

“No, I don’t.” He was the cruelest man I knew. “Let go of me.”

He pulled me harder, and my arm cracked, causing another shot of pain from my shoulder to my fingertips.

A yelp escaped me. “Jack, you’re hurting me,” I whimpered. “Stop it.”

“You didn’t think I’d drive by, did you?” he ranted. He didn’t hear a single word I said. “You’re hiding him somewhere.”

I attempted to yank my arm out of his grip again. Excruciating pain shot through me again and I couldn’t hold back a whimper. The last thing I needed was to end up in the hospital and explain this embarrassment to anyone. Least of all my eldest daughter who has started to pick up on the tension. There was only so much I could hide from her.

I should have ended this marriage months ago. I blamed myself for allowing it to get to this point.

Enough was enough. This marriage was over, with a capital O.

Reaching the top of the stairs, he continued dragging me along. When I realized the direction of his steps, the blood in my veins froze. Pushing me into our bedroom, his eyes frantically searched around with a crazed look in his eyes.

Doesn’t he trust me at all? We have three daughters together. I have never given him reason not to trust me.

“Jack,” I pleaded. How could we have become such strangers after so many years together? “I promise you, there’s nobody here.”

“Then why are you home?” he bellowed. My ears rang and fear slithered through my veins. He’d never acted this unhinged.

“To work,” I screeched. “It’s you that is cheating, Jack. Not me.”

He was prone to infidelity, always searching for some affirmation. He needed a reason to feel like a man. Each betrayal made him a lesser man in my eyes.

And it made him paranoid that I was doing the same. He really did not know me at all. I didn’t believe in cheating or hurting people. No matter how much I detested him right now, I’d never cheat on him.

I met his hard stare, as if he was evaluating my words.

I could feel his rage subsiding. But before I could take a breath of relief, he rasped, “Good, then I’ll fuck you.”

My eyes widened at his crude tone.

I shook his arm off, pushing him away. He made my skin crawl. He gave me three beautiful girls, but lately his words destroyed everything and everyone around him.

“You are fucking crazy if you think I’d let you touch me,” I snapped at him. I rubbed my cheek with my good hand. “Never again, Jack.”

I wanted to swear it on the life of our children, but ingrained teachings held me back. Never pledge on anyone’s life; it brought bad luck. Yes, it was superstitious, but when it was something you’d heard since you were a little girl, it was hard to shake off.

“I’m up for a challenge,” he purred, sending each hair on my body standing straight up.

A crazed lust lurked in his eyes. Instinctively, I took a hesitant step back while I watched for any sign that he was joking.

It was the wrong move because I was backed up against the bed. For the first time, I cursed my high bedposts and wished I bought a simple bed that would allow me to run away swiftly.

With a cruel smile on his lips, he forcefully twisted me against the bed forcing my top half over, my face smashed against the duvet cover. I tried to move, to fight, but he only pressed me further into the mattress, using his body as leverage to keep me there. I heard the jangle of his belt and the sound of the zipper followed.

“Jack, don’t.” My voice shook with fear and dread. He had never done this, never gone this far. “Please don’t do this.”

His pants dropped to his ankles and his fingers began to work, unclasping the button of my own jeans, all the while I tried to jerk my knee just right so I’d kick him in the balls. A lump in my throat threatened to make me choke from disgust. Or fear. Or both.

“Go to one of your willing girlfriends,” I gritted through my teeth, hiding my fear. “I despise you. You make me sick, and your touch makes my skin crawl.”

My body wasn’t strong enough to outmaneuver him, but I hoped my words would be enough to cause him to react. I just needed a second. A second for him to ease up from me slightly, giving me enough room to react.

My pants slid down slightly, and a tear trickled down my temple.

Pushing me hard against the bed, he forced his hand between my legs, spreading them apart. My ears rang from the fear and adrenaline pumping through my veins. How could this have happened? Memories flickered through my brain. How we met. Our wedding day. Happiness when I found out we were pregnant. The birth of our beautiful daughters. To this!

As my life flashed before my eyes, never in a million years did I fathom I'd find myself here. In this situation.

Towering over me, he pushed his hands hard against my pussy. My face was wet.

Somewhere along the way, tears started to stream down my face. “Please, Jack.” I whispered, choked up. “Don’t.”

He never even heard me. He was too far gone. I knew him well enough by now. He wouldn’t stop, not unless I fought him.

I would fight him... until my dying breath.