A professional twist

Lilly. 

     

I stood in front of the impressive glass W&W building in downtown Washington, D.C. my eyes raised up to its top floor. The building was five stories high and stood out with its modern but elegant architecture. Sun reflected against its glass windows and the glare blinded. The voices around me felt distant as the street buzzed with life.

The crisp May weather promised a beautiful afternoon and an even more gorgeous weekend.

Yet, as I stood here, something about this whole situation made my stomach flutter with nerves.

Unconventional job, my best friend, Noona, called it.

She didn’t elaborate and something about this potential job opportunity made me feel uneasy. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

We all do what we must to survive. My father’s voice echoed in my head. My savings was pretty much nonexistent at this point. I was flat broke. Stone broke. Drowning in debt broke. If there was another term for broke, it applied to me. All my education and degrees in finance couldn’t save me from this one - ironic really.

The mortgage would be due in a few weeks. Again! I wished it was a once a year event. Every time I turned around, another damn bill was due. Yes, a quarter into the swear jar. Except I didn’t have a quarter on me. Not even a penny.

Unless I got a job very soon, I’d sink and take my girls right along with me. And that would never be acceptable. I’d do anything for them.

Going back to Croatia was an option. My parents’ old home there had been sitting empty ever since their death. So has my little side project villa that I had kept hidden from my late husband. That one needed funds for repairs.

The sound of the revolving door had me lowering my eyes to the entrance. A woman came out of the building in an expensive, crisp dress suit. I didn’t think you could look glamorous in business attire, but she pulled it off. She looked fabulous.

My reflection in the window of the building stared back at me. My petite frame made me look slim thanks to the fit of the white blouse and skirt, and my usual five-five height was given an extra two inches in the black heels I wore. I looked plain. Oddly enough, I had always been fine with plain, but after seeing the runway model look-alike just walk out of this building, suddenly being plain didn’t sit so well.

I met my reflection’s gaze, my whiskey brown eyes staring back. Tired. I looked exhausted and no amount of make-up could hide it. Not that I bothered putting on much makeup, only a light blush on my high cheekbones to hide my paleness. My dark brown hair was up in a professional twist.

I fought the urge to turn around. I did my research. W&W was a corporate America type of company. Large. Cold. Impersonal. Corporate America wasn’t really up my alley. I was used to small, privately held businesses.

Except I didn’t have many other choices. Scratch that. I didn’t have any other choices. The thought of my mortgage payment, utility bills, and groceries to be bought pushed me forward. Each step heavier than the last.

I smoothed my skirt down, my nerves teetering on the edge. Life had been hammering bad news after bad news in recent years. I hung by a thread, ready to lose everything. This was the only lead at the moment. That made this interview all the more important to me.

Desperation isn’t a good look, I told myself.

Taking a deep breath, I entered the large building using the revolving door. The lobby was elegant and pristine, white marble everywhere with a wall water fountain creating a serene environment.

Except that it had the exact opposite effect on me. Ignoring my insecurities, I approached the man at the large desk. “Can I help you?”

Clearing my dry throat, I forced a polite smile. “I’m here to see Mr. Chance Macklemore. I have an appointment. My name is Lilly Walker.”

My fingers clutched into small fists, nails digging into the palm of my hands.

Geez, you’d think this was my first interview ever!

It was desperation that had my ears ringing with anxiety. When so much depended on how this went, I couldn’t help the anxiety that swam through every pore of my body.

His eyes lowered to his monitor and I held my breath. Not sure why since the appointment was confirmed by the company.

He must have been satisfied finding my name, so with a slight nod, he pointed to the notepad on the counter.

“Sure, Miss,” he commented. “Just sign in here and take the elevator to the fifth floor.”

Grabbing the pen, I signed my name with a slightly shaking hand.

Thanking him with a smile, I walked towards the elevator with the confidence I didn’t feel. The sound of my heels against the marble floor echoed through the lobby, mocking me. I couldn’t remember the last time I wore heels.

Fake it till you make it. It would be my motto until something came through.

Once in the elevator, I entered and pressed the button to the fifth floor.

Ding. Breathe in. Ding. Breathe out. Ding.

Two more floors and the elevator doors opened. I exited, stepping hesitantly into another smaller lobby.

The first thing I noticed were five other women waiting in leather chairs. My step faltered. They were drop dead gorgeous. Like they just stepped off the runway. It shouldn’t matter. Qualifications were the only thing that mattered here, but it was hard to fight the insecurity. They were much younger than me. At thirty-four, I wasn’t old by any means, but I felt much older.

All the events that led to my late husband’s death aged me decades. I might not have looked like it, but I felt it.

Lingering in the middle of the fifth floor lobby, self-doubts plagued me. They were the enemy to every woman. And right now, they mocked me. I was confident in my skills and hard work. Yes, I’d never been an administrative assistant before but how hard could it be?

Ignoring the voices that told me to turn around and leave, my eyes traveled to the only woman sitting behind a desk. In her fifties and her silver hair in a fancy bun updo, she raised her head.

“Can I help you?” she called out, her sharp hazel eyes on me.

She had to be the secretary. Maybe she was leaving and this position was to replace her.

Ignoring my nerves, I walked over to her, then cleared my throat as nerves fluttered in my stomach.

“Hi.” Everything about this interview sent a nervous energy through my veins. “I’m here to interview for the position.”

Despite a wave of nervousness that rushed through me, my voice came out calm. I refused to lose my chance at this opportunity if it kept a roof over my girls’ heads and kept them fed. Everything else, I’d figure out as it went.

“Your name please.” she inquired.

“Lilly Walker.”

She looked at her computer and nodded.

“Please have a seat until I call you.”

I exhaled silently and went to one of the empty chairs. Sitting down stiffly, I risked a glance again to the other women waiting for the interview. Bad move! I thought to myself. Such a bad move!

These women were dressed like they had boatloads of money. Otherwise, how could they afford Christian Louboutin shoes? It was hard to miss the red soles of those heels. They definitely didn’t juggle three kids, after school practices, jobs, and a household in those heels.

Focus, Lilly.

Their stupid shoes didn’t matter. If this job turned out to be an epic fail, I’d have to start packing. Maybe I could find a way to get the girls and I to Croatia and we could sunbathe somewhere on the beach. I wouldn’t need a lot of money to survive there. Maybe I could get a job as a waitress.

Panic slowly Walker, my heart thumping wildly. I could hear blood passing through my ears - thump, thump, thump. My chest moved up and down and my hands started trembling as cold sweat trickled down my spine. Jesus, not a panic attack now.

I forced my eyes shut, inhaling deeply. Measured breath out, then back in. Repeat.

The interview hadn’t even started and I was losing my shit. This is surely going to end badly, humiliatingly. And I did not need a lesson in humiliation. Then I mentally slapped myself out of my pity party. I could do this.

For my girls!

I wouldn’t just give up. I had just as much of a chance of getting the job as these gorgeous women sitting here. I’d give it my all. I’d do anything for them. To keep them safe.

Coffee. Print documents. Make appointments. Piece of cake. I could handle that. To keep my girls happy, I’d handle anything.

I couldn’t lose our home. I worked so hard to get here, to survive, and now, it felt like everything was slipping through my fingers. Jack was probably getting a kick out of the predicament I found myself in. Either from up above or down below. Wherever he ended up.

Wrapped up in my thoughts, I lost track of time when someone called out my name. My attention snapped to my surroundings and I straightened in my chair. The room was empty except for the secretary.

I met her gaze, noting her strange expression. Like she had been calling me several times and I missed it completely.

“Are you alright?” she asked, concern lacing her voice.

“Yes, of course.”

She hesitated for just a moment. “Go on in,” she said, tilting her head towards the door.

I stood up with determination, smoothed my skirt, and headed towards the door that could have led only to one office. Here we go.

Putting my hand on the cool handle, I inhaled deeply and pushed the door open. Stepping through, the scent of leather and smoky cologne reached me as my eyes traveled over the massive office.

Windows covered the entire outside wall from ceiling to floor, showing the beautiful weather and the city beyond. The bright room with all the light pouring through the large window was furnished with sleek furniture. A large, round table stood off to the right and a couch with a coffee table on the left side of the office. In front of me, a huge executive desk dominated the space with a man sitting in the chair behind it and for a moment, I forgot to breathe.

Suddenly, the large office shrank, every single cell in my body aware of him. His gaze found me and it burned. Like standing in front of a campfire on a cold winter night and I couldn’t quite decide whether I liked it or not.

He was gorgeous. Older, but fucking gorgeous.

As he stood up to his full height, his presence touched my skin. Consuming. Hot. Dangerous.

His stare was intense, intimidating, magnificent. Piercing green eyes. Reminding me of cool moss, pulling me deep into the forest, ready to swallow me whole. Those eyes… the color of deep forests that made me shiver from his icy stare. Yet, I was sure there was a fire burning deep within despite his reserved expression, almost calculating. Like he was purchasing me.

The notion was ridiculous, yet I couldn’t shake it off.

He was tall, way too tall, standing over six-four. Broad shoulders and an expensive, custom-made suit molded his muscular body. And his hair… it was almost pitch black with a hint of silver at his temples. Just long enough to grip its strands as you devoured his mouth.

My heart leapt at that thought and heat rushed through me.

With each step he took, my heart beat faster. Good God, my pulse was sure to send me into cardiac arrest, yet, I was unable to pull my eyes away from him.

He was insanely attractive with a face that would leave you staring for hours. A perfectly chiseled square jawline. Hooded eyes. Symmetrical face. Flawless.

He strode towards me with an air of confidence, grace, and ownership. It was like someone pulled the rug from underneath my feet, and I didn’t fight it. I’d gladly go down, as long as I got to stare at him. Stupid fucking thought. Yet, I continued staring as the intensity of him sent a shiver up my spine, raising the hair on every inch of my body.

As his eyes coasted down my body, I had to fight a shudder and the need to flee.

On one hand, I wanted to remain in his vicinity for the rest of my life, basking in the glorious sight. On the other hand, I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide from him because he was just too much.

Forcing myself to stop staring at his body, I looked up, craning my neck at his tall frame. That face! There was scruff on his jaw. Just enough to give him a little edge to an otherwise clean-cut appearance. My fingers itched to trail over it. His jaw was strong and firm indicating his determination, and that mouth had me thinking not so pure thoughts.

He smiled, stretching those kissable lips to reveal a perfect set of teeth, but the smile didn’t quite reach those haunting eyes. Something about the shadows lingering in them made me want to wrap my hands around him and tell him it would be alright.

Which was dumb as fuck.

“Lilly?” he asked in a deep voice. He only said my name but the way he said it was like talking to a lover after an intense fuck. I remained silent, finding it hard to breathe.

I should turn around and go. Instead, I remained, breathing him in.