LOGINShare
106
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
What if We Drown 107
Derek's apartment hadn't changed since the last time she'd been there. Scattered books with bent spines and dog-eared pages claimed the living space, and the woolen blanket was still draped over the arm of the sofa where she'd left it.Her favorite thing, however, was the scent of crisp green apple that still clung to the air, wrapping itself around Ashlyn as she fell back against the couch, exhausted despite the 24 hours she'd just spent in a hospital bed.His home still feels like a home, she thought, her eyes wandering around the room. A fresh wave of relief washed over her, the state of his apartment a welcome reminder that he'd meant it when he'd said he wouldn't leave her.You never unpacked? Ashlyn asked, her head tilted towards the two duffel bags beside the front door.Placing two glasses of water on the coffee table, Derek scooched into the space at her side, his arm reaching across the back of the sofa so he could play with her hair."I never had the time. This is the
What if We Drown 108
For him to have been friends with you, I know I'd have loved him too. She squeezed Derek's hand, the two of them falling into a moment of silence, before Derek squeezed her hand in return."What happened to Liam, and what happened to your father, those things were out of our control. They weren't our fault."Ashlyn hesitated for a moment before nodding. That was something her and Lana had been working on during their last session. But hearing Derek mention it now, she felt a familiar pang in her chest, the battle of her heart versus her mind silently brewing.It wasn't our fault, she repeated, as much for her own sake as for his."I've been living in this world of what if, dwelling on all the ways that I could have saved him while neglecting to live in the world I'm in right now. Sitting there amidst the wilting posies and tears at Liam's grave, I was finally able to forgive myself, and Liam, for what happened."Derek turned to Ashlyn with a sad smile, the light in his eyes shini
What if We Drown Epilogue
"Where are you taking me?" Derek's laughter carried on the sea breeze while he ran, hand in hand with Ashlyn, down the boulevard.The smile in Ashlyn's cheeks was enchanting, her heart swelling beyond its confines until it illuminated every facet of her expression. A childlike joy danced upon her lips, her giggles falling back to meet him as she turned to glance his way.'You'll see,' the glint in her eyes said. Squeezing his hand tighter, she continued to run, every fragment of fear and every splinter of doubt falling behind her, the remains of the walls she'd nursed for years crumbling like dust beneath her canvas shoes.Her steps continued to carry them through streets lit by twilight, the breath in her lungs escaping with a giggle when she stumbled on a crack in the pavement. Catching her waist, Derek pulled her back against his chest, his hands resting on her hips."Are you going to tell me why we're in such a rush?" His breath was hot, his lips teasing as they brushed the si
What if We Drown 1
"... The storm is gaining strength as it heads towards Maine. Heavy rain, strong winds, and large waves are expected. All residents of the coastal areas are being urged to remain indoors, and where possible, evacuate to higher ground..." The radio crackled in the corner of Val's Diner.Ashlyn watched in shock as the waves crashed furiously over the pier and onto the streets outside. The angry wind growled, plants and rubbish tossed carelessly down the road. The men moved quickly around her, boarding all the windows and doors; the Diner growing darker and darker with each board fitted."Just a precaution." One of the men smiled as they tousled her hair. But the smile never met their eyes. Ashlyn nodded, uncertain of their assurances, and bent to look under another board. A crack of lightning caused her to jump back and squeal in shock."Ashlyn? Ashlyn! Get away from the window," her Mother, Cassia, cried out from across the room as she unsuccessfully tried to soothe the wailing child i
What if We Drown 2
"Abel's asking after you, Ash." Kassandra Sandoval chuckled, pinching Ashlyn in the ribs as she reached around her to grab the milk jug.With a playful smile, Ashlyn bumped her friend back, accidentally knocking the bottle of soy milk from her hand. Kassandra squealed and jumped back, crashing into Ashlyn, laughing at the mess they had made. No one in the café was at all surprised by this behavior as they continued with their conversations. It was one of the many things people loved about Salt on the Dock. While the food and the coffee were of the highest quality, it was the joy and love that the café and staff exuded that made the cafe so vibrant.Before Ashlyn could make a move for the mop, Kassandra was shooing her away.Kass, let me, she signed, collecting the sodden carton from the floor, her canvas shoes leaving dirty footprints where she walked."I've got this, go. Abel's coffee is getting cold." Kassandra winked as she scooped two chocolate Danish's on to a plate and handed it
What if We Drown 3
It was a good day for Salt as waves of people washed up on the threshold, their bodies drifting on the pleasant scents that carried them in, and each one was met with a warm smile courtesy of Ashlyn.A loud and exaggerated groan came from behind Ashlyn as the phone was hung up none too politely."Sometimes Marcus really grinds my gears. Can you believe he wants to start charging double for produce?" Kass grumbled. Ashlyn rolled her eyes at her best friends' attitude as the customer next in line chuckled.The queue quickly progressed as Ashlyn continued to take orders and make the drinks, while Kass worked on preparing their meals. Lunchtime had always been busy for them since Salts opening six years ago. The flavors that Kass captured in all the food she made, and the constant changing menu, were alluring and tasteful. Salt was undoubtedly the guilty pleasure of many."I saw what you did earlier. Giving that money to Abel was nice and all, but what about Venice? And Athens? You've bee
What if We Drown 4
There was a gentle knock at the door. A moment later a second knock followed when Ashlyn did not answer. Brushing any evidence from her cheeks, she opened the door and stepped around Kass to move towards the front of the building."Ashlyn, I'm sorry. I couldn't just let her speak to you like that." Kass followed and caught her arm. "Please, Ash." She was desperate for her to understand, and she did, but that didn't mean that she approved.You didn't have to speak to her like that. Ashlyn's disapproval was apparent in the weighted movements of her hands as she turned to her friend. She had always admired the passion and fire that burned beneath the bronzed glow of Kass' frame, but sometimes she went too far, and Ashlyn worried if she would ever realize that herself."I'm not going to stand by and pretend like her words don't hurt Ash. They do, for me and you." Kass' eyes were pleading. She knew how her best friend felt, and it deeply pained her that she couldn't take all of that away.
What if We Drown 5
IN MEMORY OF JAMES HOLLANDA MAN WHO EMBODIED THE VERY HEART OF GLASSMONT1964 – 1998The ridges formed in the words were smooth to the touch, bronze emblazoned on a plaque for generations to come. Ashlyn's fingers roamed over the ornately carved macrocarpa, her fingers dipping and gliding over a series of rises and falls. A flock of cormorants nested on rocks and grassy outcrops at the base of the pole, a ship sailing on the still sea progressed up the side. Ancient symbols and detailing circled the remaining surface as it twisted towards the top. Each carving told a story of love and companionship, strength and peace, the life of her father depicted in a series of strokes and symbols...Abel had spent the first month after James' passing working on this project, his own contribution to the memoriam of his first faithful friend. Ashlyn could still recall the days spent in his workshop admiring the skill and precision that went into this particular project, and the connection to her f
Latest chapter
What if We Drown Epilogue
"Where are you taking me?" Derek's laughter carried on the sea breeze while he ran, hand in hand with Ashlyn, down the boulevard.The smile in Ashlyn's cheeks was enchanting, her heart swelling beyond its confines until it illuminated every facet of her expression. A childlike joy danced upon her lips, her giggles falling back to meet him as she turned to glance his way.'You'll see,' the glint in her eyes said. Squeezing his hand tighter, she continued to run, every fragment of fear and every splinter of doubt falling behind her, the remains of the walls she'd nursed for years crumbling like dust beneath her canvas shoes.Her steps continued to carry them through streets lit by twilight, the breath in her lungs escaping with a giggle when she stumbled on a crack in the pavement. Catching her waist, Derek pulled her back against his chest, his hands resting on her hips."Are you going to tell me why we're in such a rush?" His breath was hot, his lips teasing as they brushed the si
What if We Drown 108
For him to have been friends with you, I know I'd have loved him too. She squeezed Derek's hand, the two of them falling into a moment of silence, before Derek squeezed her hand in return."What happened to Liam, and what happened to your father, those things were out of our control. They weren't our fault."Ashlyn hesitated for a moment before nodding. That was something her and Lana had been working on during their last session. But hearing Derek mention it now, she felt a familiar pang in her chest, the battle of her heart versus her mind silently brewing.It wasn't our fault, she repeated, as much for her own sake as for his."I've been living in this world of what if, dwelling on all the ways that I could have saved him while neglecting to live in the world I'm in right now. Sitting there amidst the wilting posies and tears at Liam's grave, I was finally able to forgive myself, and Liam, for what happened."Derek turned to Ashlyn with a sad smile, the light in his eyes shini
What if We Drown 107
Derek's apartment hadn't changed since the last time she'd been there. Scattered books with bent spines and dog-eared pages claimed the living space, and the woolen blanket was still draped over the arm of the sofa where she'd left it.Her favorite thing, however, was the scent of crisp green apple that still clung to the air, wrapping itself around Ashlyn as she fell back against the couch, exhausted despite the 24 hours she'd just spent in a hospital bed.His home still feels like a home, she thought, her eyes wandering around the room. A fresh wave of relief washed over her, the state of his apartment a welcome reminder that he'd meant it when he'd said he wouldn't leave her.You never unpacked? Ashlyn asked, her head tilted towards the two duffel bags beside the front door.Placing two glasses of water on the coffee table, Derek scooched into the space at her side, his arm reaching across the back of the sofa so he could play with her hair."I never had the time. This is the
What if We Drown 106
How? Her heart questioned, her eyes wide with wonder."When I heard that voice and felt it whisper in my heart, the only thing I thought of was you." His chest rose and fell as he stole a glance in her direction. "But that's crazy, right? I mean, I've never heard your voice, and it's not like Siren's exist." He gave a nervous chuckle. A sound escaped Ashlyn's lip, somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle, and she felt her eyes begin to prickle with tears.He had no idea what the words he'd just said meant, or how true it was. By some unknown magic, his name, her final plea, had carried to his ears and called to him. Her heart had called, and he had answered. Like a Siren. She giggled at the absurdity, and yet the possibility of it all, her cheeks burning when he turned to gaze at her with wonderment."Here I am telling you something crazy and impossible, and yet, you're the one blushing and crying." His laughter was hearty and amused as his thumbs brushed over her cheeks, catching ev
What if We Drown 105
A familiar beep broke through the silence, and Ashlyn winced at the sound that fell upon her ears. Her eyelids fluttered, cracking to allow the light of day into the darkness she left behind. Her blinks were quick at first while she adjusted to the sunlight streaming through the window, the sky a stark contrast to the night from whence she'd come.The window was closed, but as she watched the streak of ocean waver against the horizon, she could almost taste it lingering in the back of her throat.Flashes of white wisps and mermaids tails, her father's grim expression, and the grey-blue tempest that she'd wrestled flickered behind her eyes, and her heart picked up its pace. The fog over her memories lifted, and with sudden clarity, the aches in her body and the sandpaper feeling at the back of her throat made sense.What was I thinking? She raised her hand to her temple in an attempt to massage the memories and mortification away.Her gaze roamed over the assembly of monitors and m
What if We Drown 104
The sea. Angry and unrelenting. Dangerous.It rolled again, jostling her head. Ashlyn bit back a whimper and squinted as another body wrapped in an emergency blanket wavered on the deck before her. Upright and leaning against the side, the body shifted as she tracked their outstretched legs, slowly trying to piece together the scene before her. Her heart hammered in her chest, her gaze roaming over their chest, moving towards their face when something blocked her view.Exhaling, her eyes continued to roll around the space, tracking the activity upon the deck, in an attempt to gather her bearings.Shifting his weight, the man at her side leaned forward, the back of his head creating an umbrella of sorts from the unrelenting rain, while he held his finger between both their faces. Focusing all of her energy on that single digit, Ashlyn brought her attention back to him, tracking his finger as it moved from the left to the right.A small smile of relief lifted his lips, and a trickle
What if We Drown 103
All around her was a stillness and peace unheard of, as she drifted upon the grey-blue tempest, while laces of white tickled her nose and her lashes, teasing and tantalizing, singing to the breath within her lungs.Squinting through the prickly haze, Ashlyn rose and fell with the ocean's deep breath, her limbs moving in a hypnotic dance under its command. Her gaze roamed the deep expanse, her sense of direction ceasing to exist amidst the tendrils of fire that floated around her face.My sweet daughter, the ocean cooed, its arms reaching out to cradle and caress. Enveloped in its tight embrace, Ashlyn felt herself falling deeper into its touch and the promises it whispered over her mind. Home at last. The ocean's voice tickled at the edges of consciousness, and Ashlyn blinked.Wisps of white and silver danced upon the waters, the shape of memories forming and reforming with each flutter of her lashes. Children ran towards the tides, kicking and splashing at the waves that kissed th
What if We Drown 102
The wind thrashed against her front, driving the sliver of ice deeper into her heart. She sobbed, clawing at the pain in her chest, which made it harder to breathe. An invisible force pushed her forward, towards the end of the dock, and she cried out when her foot caught, dropping her to her hands and knees.Pain shot through her knees and her palms throbbed against the deck. Gritting her teeth, she pulled herself to her feet, wincing as her knees protested.Ashlyn bent to roll up the leg of her jeans when something like a horn sounded in the distance, startling her. Lifting her head, she glanced out to sea again and spotted several lights bobbing against the angry sky.Derek!Her heart gave a distressed cry, the icy pick within melting beneath the warmth of a hope rekindled.She watched the boat draw nearer, the lines between her brow growing deeper. Something wasn't right. The boat was veering dangerously close towards the lighthouse and the rocky graveyard that waited below. S
What if We Drown 101
Ashlyn was almost out the front door before Kass could catch her."What do you think you're doing? You can't go out there!" Kass cried over the wind that thrashed against the door.He's here, Kass. He's been upstairs this entire time, and you didn't tell me. Hurt flashed behind Ashlyn's eyes, her arm twisting beneath Kass' grip. She'd known, and she'd omitted to tell her anything.Regret pooled in Kass' gaze, but Ashlyn wasn't sure what she regretted more, telling her about Derek or keeping the secret from her in the first place.I have to go and see him, Ashlyn pleaded before she reached around to grip the door handle. Kass' grip tightened again as she pulled Ashlyn away from the door."He's not here. He's out there," Kass sighed in defeat, gesturing in the general direction of the ocean, her posture shifting to block the exit.Ashlyn's chest seized, her airways closing against the sharp inhale of air.'He's out there' rang in her ears, the rising panic they caused not strong
