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Author: Amanda Bittencourt
last update Last Updated: 2024-10-29 19:42:56

It was a good day for Salt as waves of people washed up on the threshold, their bodies drifting on the pleasant scents that carried them in, and each one was met with a warm smile courtesy of Ashlyn.

A loud and exaggerated groan came from behind Ashlyn as the phone was hung up none too politely.

"Sometimes Marcus really grinds my gears. Can you believe he wants to start charging double for produce?" Kass grumbled. Ashlyn rolled her eyes at her best friends' attitude as the customer next in line chuckled.

The queue quickly progressed as Ashlyn continued to take orders and make the drinks, while Kass worked on preparing their meals. Lunchtime had always been busy for them since Salts opening six years ago. The flavors that Kass captured in all the food she made, and the constant changing menu, were alluring and tasteful. Salt was undoubtedly the guilty pleasure of many.

"I saw what you did earlier. Giving that money to Abel was nice and all, but what about Venice? And Athens? You've been saving up to go there for the past year," Kass reprimanded Ashlyn as she handed a young family two turkey paninis and a serving of mushroom empanadas.

With a shrug, Ashlyn took the next person's order. His need outweighed her own. Besides, Greece and Italy could wait. It wasn't like she would be able to do much there as a tourist, not without a means for communicating. The money would be put to better use with Abel. He had been like a father to her for the past twenty years, and now he needed to be a Father again to his daughter.

"Just don't give up your dreams for everyone else, okay? You're 28, and sooner or later this ole' town is going to be too small for you," Kass commented as the next customer stepped up to the counter.

"A vanilla bean soy Latte, and a papaya salad roll." The middle-aged businesswoman spoke bluntly, her gaze never wavering from the phone in her hand. "Does the Papaya salad roll contain nuts? I'm allergic, so they'll need to be left off." She continued to type.

Ashlyn bit her lip as she tried to think up a way to gain the woman's attention so she could respond. Kass was busy slicing a piece of cake and talking to one of the regulars and hadn't heard the woman's question. The frivolous typing ceased as the woman's cold blue gaze lifted and narrowed on Ashlyn.

"Are you stupid girl? I asked you a question." The woman barked; her lips narrowed with disgust. The sounds of the café stopped as everyone's attention turned to the counter and narrowed in on the woman who spoke. Ashlyn's expression faltered as she tried to sign an explanation. The woman only scoffed.

"Of course, I got the dumb barista." Her voice rose as Kass' head snapped in her direction. "This is ridiculous. I want to speak to someone else. Where is your manager?"

Unease settled in Ashlyn's stomach as she stepped back from the cash register, signing an apology as she battled the embarrassment racing to her cheeks.

"What is your problem," snapped Kass as she stepped around the counter. "Where do you get of speaking to anyone like that, you condescending witch." The woman's expression fell momentarily before her jaw clenched, and her brows narrowed.

"I'd watch what you say. I know people in very high places that could make things very difficult for you and your little project." The woman snapped, her chin hitched towards Ashlyn.

Sinking further into her shoulders, Ashlyn felt a surge of shame at the woman's bite.

"Do your worst, hun. You're in my town now." Kass stepped closer until her canvas shoes sat toe to toe with the woman's heels. Several diners stood from their chairs ready to step in if needed, while Ashlyn watched on with fear.

Though Kass was shorter than the woman, she harbored no doubts that Kass would win. She wasn't one to back down, no matter what the cost. And that was precisely what Ashlyn was afraid of.

"I'm sorry if Salt doesn't meet your standards of service." Kass paused, weighing the sincerity in her apology. "Actually, you know what? I'm not sorry. If you've got a problem with how I choose to run my business or the people I employ, then that's your problem, and it's a waste of time justifying my choices to someone like you. There's the door. You can leave now." Kass spoke frankly, her tone daring the woman to bite back as she pointed to the front door. The woman just glared as she glanced around the café, and over to Ashlyn still behind the counter. She scoffed, her gaze moving back to Kass. She opened her mouth to speak.

"Get out of my café. Now." Kass lowered her voice and spoke slowly for the woman only, her threat clear. The woman flipped her champagne blond hair and turned to leave, making sure to shove Kass with her shoulder.

"You will pay for this," she growled as she exited the café and rounded the corner.

At the sight of her retreating back, the café came to life with a roar of cheers and applause, and Kass was all too willing to basque at the moment as she bowed before them, her mocha-colored ponytail moving with her. With a triumphant grin, she turned on her heel and stopped at the hollow look that consumed Ashlyn.

"Ash, I'm sorry." Her voice was soft as she stepped towards her friend.

I need a minute, Ashlyn signed stepping away from her friend, and moving quickly towards the restroom, retreating within herself as she fought to maintain her composure while on the inside she was breaking.

When the door was locked securely behind her, Ashlyn stood before the mirror and watched the tears that moved like a gently flowing stream, glassy eyes of hazel and honey gazing back, looking deep within to the pit of hurt and shame she kept buried within. The people of Glassmont had done their best to adapt to the changes in her, learning enough sign language to communicate with her and exhibiting enough grace and patience. But new people and people passing through could not be helped. It was in these moments when her confidence was beaten, her resolve bruised, that she longed for her Father most. She needed him to show her how to remain strong, and kind, in adversity. He'd taught her a lot about showing kindness and compassion, but none of that had prepared her to be strong enough for when everything changed.

There were moments when she wished Nicholas and Andrew hadn't followed her into the raging waters. Things would have certainly been easier. Her skin was not hardened against careless words and undisguised looks. She knew how to smile, and she knew to be polite, but there was a darkness in her heart that desired to steal even the greatest of joys from her, and the voices of others were its greatest weapon, persistent with their reminders of the heartache she had suffered. Sometimes she just wanted to be held in her Fathers arms and made to feel a little less broken, just for a moment.

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    There was a gentle knock at the door. A moment later a second knock followed when Ashlyn did not answer. Brushing any evidence from her cheeks, she opened the door and stepped around Kass to move towards the front of the building."Ashlyn, I'm sorry. I couldn't just let her speak to you like that." Kass followed and caught her arm. "Please, Ash." She was desperate for her to understand, and she did, but that didn't mean that she approved.You didn't have to speak to her like that. Ashlyn's disapproval was apparent in the weighted movements of her hands as she turned to her friend. She had always admired the passion and fire that burned beneath the bronzed glow of Kass' frame, but sometimes she went too far, and Ashlyn worried if she would ever realize that herself."I'm not going to stand by and pretend like her words don't hurt Ash. They do, for me and you." Kass' eyes were pleading. She knew how her best friend felt, and it deeply pained her that she couldn't take all of that away.

  • What if We Drown    5

    IN MEMORY OF JAMES HOLLANDA MAN WHO EMBODIED THE VERY HEART OF GLASSMONT1964 – 1998The ridges formed in the words were smooth to the touch, bronze emblazoned on a plaque for generations to come. Ashlyn's fingers roamed over the ornately carved macrocarpa, her fingers dipping and gliding over a series of rises and falls. A flock of cormorants nested on rocks and grassy outcrops at the base of the pole, a ship sailing on the still sea progressed up the side. Ancient symbols and detailing circled the remaining surface as it twisted towards the top. Each carving told a story of love and companionship, strength and peace, the life of her father depicted in a series of strokes and symbols...Abel had spent the first month after James' passing working on this project, his own contribution to the memoriam of his first faithful friend. Ashlyn could still recall the days spent in his workshop admiring the skill and precision that went into this particular project, and the connection to her f

  • What if We Drown    6

    "Derek, I'd like you to meet my best friend and business partner, Ashlyn." Kass beamed as she approached from behind. "Derek's the new 1B," she added coming up beside Ashlyn.Derek grinned as he waved from where he sat, his navy jacket popping against the grey armchair. "Nice to meet you again, Ashlyn."Ashlyn withheld a laugh upon noticing her name still inscribed on his palm. She waved in response, her smile friendly."I don't understand. You guys know each other?" Kass enquired as she glanced between the two of them with confusion, her gaze missing the cursive ink that decorated his palm."Ashlyn was kind enough to help me with some, uh, map difficulties." He chuckled, his palms flexing against his jean legs. Kass' gaze focused on Ashlyn as her cheeks warmed, a light flush making itself known.It was nothing, really, she signed before scratching her forearm and looking away, a nervous habit she'd developed through her periods at the hospital. Kass' hand was firm, but comfort

  • What if We Drown    7

    "Uh-uh, tonight's all about you bud," Kass chastised, wagging her finger as though he were a misbehaving child. "I have a question for you, and I expect you to give me a serious answer." Ashlyn could hear Derek's gulp from where she sat. She released the breath she had been holding, thankful for Kass' quick thinking."What is your spirit animal, and why?" She rested her chin on her fists, expectant.Ashlyn rolled her eyes and smiled apologetically. She should have known this would come. Kass asked everyone she met this question, for she believed a person's answer told her all she needed to know about a person. A moment passed as Derek thought about his answer."A Deer? I'd like to believe that I am a gentle, loving, and compassionate person, but still strong when the need arises."Ashlyn nodded. From the little she'd already heard in the way he spoke about his family, she believed it. He had a gentle heart for his sister and his nieces, and no doubt towards many others.Kass nodd

  • What if We Drown    8

    The morning was wet and cold as it kissed her cheeks and nuzzled her nose. With a sleepy smile, Ashlyn opened her eyes to greet Coley who had successfully coaxed her into waking for breakfast.Coley's meow was croaky as Ashlyn scooped her into her arms and kissed the tip of her nose. Coley remained compliant for a moment before she pushed Ashlyn's face away and jumped down, the soft sound of her pitter-pattering towards the kitchen. Ashlyn grinned as she climbed out of bed and followed, the cats hinting not lost on her.The early morning sun was warm against the terracotta paint she'd begun applying to the feature wall of the open plan living area. While the renovations were not progressing as quickly as she would have liked, Ashlyn was enjoying how relaxed, and in control, the ordeal made her feel. With each stroke of the brush and each new piece of furniture, she could see her fathers plans for the house coming to life.Coley's impatience pulled her from her thoughts as she weave

  • What if We Drown    9

    By the time five thirty rolled around the café was empty, the last patron had left ten minutes ago. Ashlyn stood balancing the till for the fourth time that hour when Kass closed the drawer."You need to sit down," Kass commanded, steering Ashlyn by her shoulders over to one of the tables in the front window. Sitting opposite her, Kass sighed. Ashlyn watched her hands on the table before her, her fingers knotted together."I know somethings bothering you Ash. You've been distracted all day, and I haven't seen you smile once—"I've smiled plenty, Ashlyn interrupted, her movements half-hearted."—and mean it," Kass finished, her tone gentle. "I'm worried about you."Ashlyn bit her lip, glancing away before Kass could notice the tear that caressed her cheek. It was true. Her mind had been elsewhere today, somewhere dark and lonely. But still, she'd thought she maintained a composed front. Guilt at that moment sat not on her chest, but inside her mind, and its power grew stronger w

  • What if We Drown    10

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  • What if We Drown    11

    Derek and Kass walked over to Kass' pickup while Ashlyn quickly went inside to fill Coley's bowl and place the flowers in a vase. The cat fed, and the flowers taken care of, Ashlyn locked the front door behind her and jogged to the pickup. "You are going to love the Street Market, Derek. Each Sunday they close down Marine Parade and put on this big market with lots of shopping, and live entertainment and street food," Kass rambled, the pace of her words increasing the more excited she became. It's as beautiful as it sounds, Ashlyn turned in her seat to sign, smiling with excitement. The Sunday Markets were one of the most anticipated parts of the weekend. "Well then, I cannot wait." Derek grinned, winking at Ashlyn. Blushing she turned back in her seat to look out the front window. While Derek and Kass continued to speak animatedly, Ashlyn stole glances at him in the rear-view mirror, the cadence of his voice and the light that shone in his eyes soothing her. After searching ten m

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  • What if We Drown    Epilogue

    "Where are you taking me?" Derek's laughter carried on the sea breeze while he ran, hand in hand with Ashlyn, down the boulevard.The smile in Ashlyn's cheeks was enchanting, her heart swelling beyond its confines until it illuminated every facet of her expression. A childlike joy danced upon her lips, her giggles falling back to meet him as she turned to glance his way.'You'll see,' the glint in her eyes said. Squeezing his hand tighter, she continued to run, every fragment of fear and every splinter of doubt falling behind her, the remains of the walls she'd nursed for years crumbling like dust beneath her canvas shoes.Her steps continued to carry them through streets lit by twilight, the breath in her lungs escaping with a giggle when she stumbled on a crack in the pavement. Catching her waist, Derek pulled her back against his chest, his hands resting on her hips."Are you going to tell me why we're in such a rush?" His breath was hot, his lips teasing as they brushed the si

  • What if We Drown    108

    For him to have been friends with you, I know I'd have loved him too. She squeezed Derek's hand, the two of them falling into a moment of silence, before Derek squeezed her hand in return."What happened to Liam, and what happened to your father, those things were out of our control. They weren't our fault."Ashlyn hesitated for a moment before nodding. That was something her and Lana had been working on during their last session. But hearing Derek mention it now, she felt a familiar pang in her chest, the battle of her heart versus her mind silently brewing.It wasn't our fault, she repeated, as much for her own sake as for his."I've been living in this world of what if, dwelling on all the ways that I could have saved him while neglecting to live in the world I'm in right now. Sitting there amidst the wilting posies and tears at Liam's grave, I was finally able to forgive myself, and Liam, for what happened."Derek turned to Ashlyn with a sad smile, the light in his eyes shini

  • What if We Drown    107

    Derek's apartment hadn't changed since the last time she'd been there. Scattered books with bent spines and dog-eared pages claimed the living space, and the woolen blanket was still draped over the arm of the sofa where she'd left it.Her favorite thing, however, was the scent of crisp green apple that still clung to the air, wrapping itself around Ashlyn as she fell back against the couch, exhausted despite the 24 hours she'd just spent in a hospital bed.His home still feels like a home, she thought, her eyes wandering around the room. A fresh wave of relief washed over her, the state of his apartment a welcome reminder that he'd meant it when he'd said he wouldn't leave her.You never unpacked? Ashlyn asked, her head tilted towards the two duffel bags beside the front door.Placing two glasses of water on the coffee table, Derek scooched into the space at her side, his arm reaching across the back of the sofa so he could play with her hair."I never had the time. This is the

  • What if We Drown    106

    How? Her heart questioned, her eyes wide with wonder."When I heard that voice and felt it whisper in my heart, the only thing I thought of was you." His chest rose and fell as he stole a glance in her direction. "But that's crazy, right? I mean, I've never heard your voice, and it's not like Siren's exist." He gave a nervous chuckle. A sound escaped Ashlyn's lip, somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle, and she felt her eyes begin to prickle with tears.He had no idea what the words he'd just said meant, or how true it was. By some unknown magic, his name, her final plea, had carried to his ears and called to him. Her heart had called, and he had answered. Like a Siren. She giggled at the absurdity, and yet the possibility of it all, her cheeks burning when he turned to gaze at her with wonderment."Here I am telling you something crazy and impossible, and yet, you're the one blushing and crying." His laughter was hearty and amused as his thumbs brushed over her cheeks, catching ev

  • What if We Drown    105

    A familiar beep broke through the silence, and Ashlyn winced at the sound that fell upon her ears. Her eyelids fluttered, cracking to allow the light of day into the darkness she left behind. Her blinks were quick at first while she adjusted to the sunlight streaming through the window, the sky a stark contrast to the night from whence she'd come.The window was closed, but as she watched the streak of ocean waver against the horizon, she could almost taste it lingering in the back of her throat.Flashes of white wisps and mermaids tails, her father's grim expression, and the grey-blue tempest that she'd wrestled flickered behind her eyes, and her heart picked up its pace. The fog over her memories lifted, and with sudden clarity, the aches in her body and the sandpaper feeling at the back of her throat made sense.What was I thinking? She raised her hand to her temple in an attempt to massage the memories and mortification away.Her gaze roamed over the assembly of monitors and m

  • What if We Drown    104

    The sea. Angry and unrelenting. Dangerous.It rolled again, jostling her head. Ashlyn bit back a whimper and squinted as another body wrapped in an emergency blanket wavered on the deck before her. Upright and leaning against the side, the body shifted as she tracked their outstretched legs, slowly trying to piece together the scene before her. Her heart hammered in her chest, her gaze roaming over their chest, moving towards their face when something blocked her view.Exhaling, her eyes continued to roll around the space, tracking the activity upon the deck, in an attempt to gather her bearings.Shifting his weight, the man at her side leaned forward, the back of his head creating an umbrella of sorts from the unrelenting rain, while he held his finger between both their faces. Focusing all of her energy on that single digit, Ashlyn brought her attention back to him, tracking his finger as it moved from the left to the right.A small smile of relief lifted his lips, and a trickle

  • What if We Drown    103

    All around her was a stillness and peace unheard of, as she drifted upon the grey-blue tempest, while laces of white tickled her nose and her lashes, teasing and tantalizing, singing to the breath within her lungs.Squinting through the prickly haze, Ashlyn rose and fell with the ocean's deep breath, her limbs moving in a hypnotic dance under its command. Her gaze roamed the deep expanse, her sense of direction ceasing to exist amidst the tendrils of fire that floated around her face.My sweet daughter, the ocean cooed, its arms reaching out to cradle and caress. Enveloped in its tight embrace, Ashlyn felt herself falling deeper into its touch and the promises it whispered over her mind. Home at last. The ocean's voice tickled at the edges of consciousness, and Ashlyn blinked.Wisps of white and silver danced upon the waters, the shape of memories forming and reforming with each flutter of her lashes. Children ran towards the tides, kicking and splashing at the waves that kissed th

  • What if We Drown    102

    The wind thrashed against her front, driving the sliver of ice deeper into her heart. She sobbed, clawing at the pain in her chest, which made it harder to breathe. An invisible force pushed her forward, towards the end of the dock, and she cried out when her foot caught, dropping her to her hands and knees.Pain shot through her knees and her palms throbbed against the deck. Gritting her teeth, she pulled herself to her feet, wincing as her knees protested.Ashlyn bent to roll up the leg of her jeans when something like a horn sounded in the distance, startling her. Lifting her head, she glanced out to sea again and spotted several lights bobbing against the angry sky.Derek!Her heart gave a distressed cry, the icy pick within melting beneath the warmth of a hope rekindled.She watched the boat draw nearer, the lines between her brow growing deeper. Something wasn't right. The boat was veering dangerously close towards the lighthouse and the rocky graveyard that waited below. S

  • What if We Drown    101

    Ashlyn was almost out the front door before Kass could catch her."What do you think you're doing? You can't go out there!" Kass cried over the wind that thrashed against the door.He's here, Kass. He's been upstairs this entire time, and you didn't tell me. Hurt flashed behind Ashlyn's eyes, her arm twisting beneath Kass' grip. She'd known, and she'd omitted to tell her anything.Regret pooled in Kass' gaze, but Ashlyn wasn't sure what she regretted more, telling her about Derek or keeping the secret from her in the first place.I have to go and see him, Ashlyn pleaded before she reached around to grip the door handle. Kass' grip tightened again as she pulled Ashlyn away from the door."He's not here. He's out there," Kass sighed in defeat, gesturing in the general direction of the ocean, her posture shifting to block the exit.Ashlyn's chest seized, her airways closing against the sharp inhale of air.'He's out there' rang in her ears, the rising panic they caused not strong

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