Forty-ThreeSmithPresent Day “No, I don’t want to run. Unless it’s toward you, and then my answer is yes.”I stared at Alix while she sat in the passenger seat of my car, her words echoing inside my head.By bringing her to Roxbury, I’d shown her a part of my storm.But there was so much more.I’d spent eighteen years in that hell. Every day was a war, another memory that would haunt me for the rest of my life. And each one had left me with scars. Time had lightened some. The rest were as dark as the black tar my mother shot into her veins.Eventually, I would open my wounds and tell Alix the story behind them.But, for now, I needed to clear my head.I shifted into drive and put my hand on her thigh. “Do you have to work tonight?”“No.”“I know I told you we were going to have lunch in Roxbury, but I can’t. I’m sorry. I have to get the hell out of here.”She reached across the seat and put her hand behind my head, her fingers running through the back of my hair. “I get it. You don’
Me: We’re still on for tomorrow night?Rose: Duh.Rose: Wait, were you about to cancel on me? Because I haven’t seen you in FIVE FUCKING DAYS.Me: I’m not canceling. I’m just confirming. That way, when Smith tries to hold me hostage tomorrow night, I can tell him you have dibs.Rose: That man really needs to learn how to share, and he also needs to stop making you so insanely happy. The amount you’ve been smiling lately is just disgusting.Me: The nerve of him.Rose: Seriously, I could not be happier for you right now. And I also miss you so incredibly much, it hurts.Me: But you’re getting me tomorrow night.Rose: I cannot wait.Rose: Hey, are you going over to Smith’s tonight?Me: I’m just getting dressed, and I’m going to head there in a few minutes. Why?Rose: Alix … it’s about to rain.I glanced up from the screen of my phone and rushed over to one of the windows.I flipped open the blinds.There was a dark sky above.The leaves on the trees were blowing from the wind.I looked a
“Wait a second. Let me get this straight. You two have been together nonstop, and during that time, you’ve never once been to her townhouse?”“No.”“Well, shit, I need to get to the bottom of that.” I heard her say something to someone in the background, and when she returned to the phone, she asked, “What if Alix doesn’t answer the door?”“I’ll break it down.”“Smith …”“There have been situations in my life that would have had a much better outcome had I arrived a few minutes earlier. Rose, I regret each one. I won’t take that chance again, especially not with Alix.”“Jesus,” she breathed into the phone. “I’ll text you her address, and I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes.”“See you then,” I said and hung up.I pulled the phone away from my face and looked at the screen. Rose’s text came instantly, and I checked out the address.All this fucking time, Alix had been living only eight blocks from me.Forty-SixAlixPresent DayCold was what I felt across my entire body.It went into
“To take a shower,” she said over her shoulder. “Come with me.”That was all I needed to hear.I followed her upstairs and stripped my clothes off in the closet, meeting her in the bathroom. She was already standing under the spray, water splashing against her face. With her back to me, I circled my hands around her waist.“God, you’re beautiful.” As I kissed her shoulder, my cock pressed into her ass, my fingers slowly sliding up until they were on her tits. “I want you to be my wife already.”She turned around, wrapping her arms around my neck, giving me a kiss. “In my eyes, I already am.”Forty-EightSmithPresent DayRose was standing on the front steps when I arrived at Alix’s townhouse. She was holding an umbrella over her head, shifting her weight between both legs, her arm wrapped around her stomach like it was aching.Her body language told me whatever she was about to say wasn’t going to be good.And that was confirmed when I heard, “Alix isn’t answering.”I held the hood ov
There were tears in Rose’s eyes. They were dripping down her cheeks.And the expression on her face was scaring the shit out of me.She hadn’t said anything that made sense.She hadn’t given me a single goddamn clue of where Alix might be.The patience I normally had was gone.“I’m calling the police,” I said, reaching for my phone again.“Just give me another minute,” she pleaded. “I need to check a few more things, and then you can do whatever you want.” She moved by me and went back into the bedroom and out into the hallway. She called out, “Alix,” as she checked the other rooms up here.There was no response.When I followed her downstairs, she flipped on another light, and it illuminated the whole kitchen.As soon as Rose saw the space, she gasped and cried, “Oh God, no.”I looked around to see what had upset her.The only thing I could come up with were the small pieces of paper that were everywhere—on the counters, taped to the cabinets, spread out across the table.There was a
“I know.”“Dylan, I’m so, so tired.”“I can tell.”Dylan blue. That was the color I called his eyes.And that was what was finally staring back at me.For so long, I hadn’t looked.I couldn’t.But, now that I did, it hurt.Oh God, did it hurt.“I can’t keep doing this.” I tucked my knees against my chest and wrapped my arms around them. “I can’t keep fighting for us.”“I know, Alix.”My eyes were so heavy; I could barely keep them open.“I don’t think I’m going to make it up to bed tonight,” I said. “I just don’t have it in me.”His hand lifted to my cheek. “You don’t have to, my love.”I stretched my body across the grass, smelling the wet soil beneath me.My knees moved to my chest again.I used my arm as a pillow.I looked across the grass, like I would when I checked our bed.There was no dented pillow.There was no tousled blanket.“Don’t leave until I fall asleep,” I told him.Rain pounded against my ear.Wet hair stuck to my cheeks.“I’m going to stay with you,” he said.I felt
I released her.And I watched her walk away.As I stared at her back, I thought about moments.The ones I’d spent with Alix.The ones before her.How I’d never really taken the time to celebrate any of them.But the people standing on both sides of me were doing plenty of that.They were celebrating this moment.So, I did, too.I closed my eyes and reached my hand into my pocket, feeling the small velvet pouch that held both wedding bands.I squeezed it against my palm.I didn’t know why.I just knew I had to.And I thought of Alix.I pictured her face when I’d placed the engagement ring on her finger. Her expression when I’d promised I would never hurt her, that I would always take care of her and keep her safe, that I’d give her everything she’d ever dreamed of. The look in her eyes when I’d promised her forever.Nine minutes had passed since I sent Alix away.And, now, another moment was happening.One that caused me to break every promise I’d made to her.Except for one.Before I
But I couldn’t stop for them.I needed to find Dylan.So, I dragged my body toward the flags.Most of them were ripped.Many of them were missing.But I saw the broken poles and the tattered fabric, and I crawled toward them.“Dylan!”My fingers stuck together from all the blood.Something new was stabbing the center of my palm.Something hard fell onto my back.It didn’t slow me down.Because, through the tiny cracks I was weaving between, I saw Dylan’s black jacket. The white logo on the breast pocket. Dangling from the sleeves were two familiar hands that I had just been holding a few minutes ago.He was on the ground.“Dylan!”I didn’t know if my feet could hold me, so I stayed on my knees. I kicked, and I pushed.And I crawled.And I only let myself stop when I reached him.My hands slid underneath his shoulders, and I pulled him onto my lap.My fingers then pressed into his neck to find his pulse.I couldn’t breathe.I could only scream.And yell, “Dylan,” over and over.When I