I sulked in my breath, trying not to get angry at Ethan's use of words. He is kinda right, I am 15 years old and yet to have a crush. I stay with girls 24/7, and nothing to show off concerning any growing feelings for the opposite sex.
Yet, I had a liking for 5 boys already, not sure the reason why I am developing that affection for them. One thing I wish for is to be led to a spotlight about this admiration I am developing, it is making my heart Quaver. ' Oh God of mercy, please guide my thoughts and give me a solution to my problem', I prayed silently as I made my way into Rachael's class meant for her test.
She was revising for her next subject, pretty engrossed in its reading. She looked up and waved at me as I made my way to her seat.
"I hope I am not disturbing you, you seemed engrossed in the book you are revising," I said.
"Oh, Oyedele, not really, just trying to figure out a particular topic in Chemistry. It has been giving me a headache but it is not a big deal if I score 15 out of 20 marks," she stated and I chuckled.
She is the only one that used to call me by my surname and I must confess it sounds perfect from the way she pronounces it.
"Try not to give yourself a headache, chemistry is a hard nut to crack', I replied and she smiled covering the book as she looked up at me.
" You seem to be close with Ethan, are you guys getting along now?" she asked, pausing a little to see my reaction.
I hid my blush, as I remembered the moment we shared this afternoon.
"Yeah, we talked for some time. We are good I guess," I tried to sound genuine, only for Rachael to look at me with the eyes 'There is more to it'.
"What? Why are you looking at me that way? Ok, we apologized to each other, we made up for our wrongdoings," I said, raising my hands slightly to show my conviction.
"Great, it is a good thing you guys made up. Apart from the part that he was trying to go naughty with you, that slap is a big atonement for the sin he committed," she said as I did an eye roll.
I slapped him right? Why did he apologize? He would simply have been on his own, same with me. I am not the type that holds grudges but I can't help but feel we should be FRENEMIES if that word even exists.
"Ahem, was I bad for slapping him?" I asked.
"Maybe, it depends on you. People see things differently. I might have pushed him if such a thing happens to me. Just try not to think about it. It is all in the past." Rachael counseled as I nodded.
"Thanks for the advice, but you should continue with your reading now before you develop a massive headache from late reading," I joked as she punched me lightly which earned a snicker from me.
"Jokes apart, I need to tell you something, hope you are waiting after school," she said and I told her I would be waiting.
I was about to stand up to leave when Gloria came inside the class, as she hugged Rachael. Quite a drama queen, didn't she see me here?
"Hi Rachael, hey Michael," she greeted before facing Rachael.
"Can you believe that rascal Ethan kept on disturbing me, teasing the daylight out of me?" Gloria said foaming in anger.
"Calm down sis, the rascal is Ethan, and according to Oyedele here, he calls him Psycho. So Psychorascal or RascalPsycho is the new set of names for him," Rachael contributed and we started laughing.
We ended our discussion a few minutes to the end of the break, as I headed straight to my class to do my last-minute revision. I sat down revising when I heard a voice.
"Are you still angry at me?" Ethan asked.
I turned to my side as I saw him draw a chair beside me, my eyes scanning through his face which has beads of sweat, making him more handsome. His face depicts someone that feels guilty for doing something wrong. He moved closer as I felt rather smitten at our proximity as I darted my face to my book.
"I am not angry about what you said, you were only teasing me. It is normal for me not to have any feelings for the opposite sex yet. I will surely develop one maybe now or in my 'sweet sixteen", I said, trying not to move my gaze.
He sighed as he asked me to explain a particular topic to him. He just kept looking at me, smiling throughout the whole explanation. He stated he loves how I raised my hands when explaining things. I hope he understands what I was explaining.
*****
I concluded my test for that day as I waited for Rachael. She wanted to tell me something important, I guess. Sitting in the class, as the whole place was empty, I could not help but wonder what she wanted to tell me about.
I stared at the ceiling as boredom hit me, as I made my hand to my backpack to get my chocolate biscuit which I munched at. She walked into the class a few minutes later looking tired.
She grabbed the remaining chocolate in my hand. She ate and drank water to it which left me speechless, as I just stared at her.
" You look shocked, any problem?" she asked.
", Why not? You have never collected anything from me and mostly the other boys," I said darting my eyes in another direction.
She used a tissue to wipe the crumbs around her mouth.
"Do you know why I collected it from you? she asked and I shook my head.
" Well number one, I trust you. You are not like those other guys that will give a girl something and expect something in return. And secondly, I am hungry," she said, making a funny face and I could not help but blush at the compliments.
"Thanks, I am flattered," I replied
"You are welcome," she said as she dragged me off my seat.
We walked out of the school as that little memory of what she said earlier came back to my head, as my stomach churns with happiness.
"How was your test today?" I asked trying to break the ice of silence'.
"It was okay. The Chemistry was not that bad too, but I had to struggle a little bit with Geography," she said
"Oh, but I am pretty sure you will score more than me even with that complaint of yours," I said.
"Ha! You think quite fast Oyedele. I hope your prayer gets answered," she deadpanned and started laughing.
"Prayer?" I asked.
"Yes, your prayer of me getting more marks than you," she replied and I was speechless. She sure knows how to place one in a tight corner.
"Oyedele, I want to tell you something," she said as I felt my heart race for a few seconds. I breathe out slowly.
"Ok, I am all ears," I replied.
"Oyedele, I will be leaving soon. I might not be able to complete my studies here at Beatitude College," she stated.
The only thing I knew was that I felt drained out of energy instantly. My stance almost died down at that statement. 'She will be leaving soon?
Just thinking about the whole scenario between Rachael and me kept me in a state I cannot decipher. 'I WILL BE LEAVING,' those words of her's only brought many questions to my mind. I felt as if a load was on my body the moment she spilled those words. I could not help but fake a smile after she told me she would be leaving Beatitude College after our 3rd term. She is going for G.C.E( GENERAL CERTIFICATE EXAMINATION),( an examination that can be sought for admission into higher education,)which after getting a good result would be used for her higher education. I only wish her all the best even though 99℅ part of me kept hoping she does not leave soon. She is one in a million, someone with tolerance, love, patience, and intelligence. She alongside Joshua and Gloria has made my stay here at Beatitude less stressful and more memorable for me.******* After the 3rd term examination, we were cho
I suddenly felt my body turned to jelly as I leaned on the wall, feeling weak. Was I having feelings for the same-sex that could lead to homosexual acts? My face turned sour immediately."Oyedele, are you okay?" Rachael's voice broke me out of my misery reasoning.I tried to stand straight but I felt glued to the wall."I'm fine, I just felt a little bit weak, that is all," I replied."You do not look okay to me, did you undergo any stress?" she asked again.
I felt my breath hitch at every step he took, as I moved back slowly until my right leg hit a desk. I looked into his eyes trying to be courageous but the truth is that my legs have turned to jelly as they could lose their stance anytime soon.I could not analyze what he was going to do but the only thing that came to my uneasy mind was that he was going to slap me hard. The thought that he is muscular gives me creeps as it won't take any stress for him to beat me up, especially in an empty class with just three of us.I unexpectedly felt his warm hands around my waist as he engulfed me in his arms. I tried to think of ' a million reasons why he was hugging me this tight but I could not think straight. I felt my whole body on him, his cologne smearing my nose,
This is going to be fun, "I thought as I pulled Khaleed to my side. I cannot afford to lose 500 naira." I agree to the terms and conditions. In the Chelsea club, we have Mount, Hodoi, Kante, Abraham, and Zuma. For the Arsenal club, we have David Luiz, William, Lacazette, Bukayo Saka, and Nicholas Pepper, "I stated as they all wore a shocked look.I collected the 500 naira from Khaleed without wasting much time. Quadri pulled me " Hero, please give me the money back. I was just joking around," he begged as Khaleed and Paul also joined in begging me to release the money."Quite hilarious. We both agreed, so just stop begging me. You are embarrassing me," I stated as I left their midst, an idea popping into my
"I... I was at the bridge of saying those four words 'I will miss you ' when I felt a hand round my shoulder.I turned a little only to see Joshua with a smug smile on his face, nice rescue bro,' I thought. I can confidently say he is the only one that I use to feel comfortable with most among the boys, maybe because he is my best friend. I returned my gaze only to see Ethan wear a frown on his face. They are both cats and rats, I just hope they won't start a fight soon.Joshua is kinda annoying sometimes and he is ready to piss you off. One thing I like most about him is that he never hides th
I got to school on September 14 for the new session bubbling like a happy child, well I hope to see Rachael. She has not yet made her final decision regarding completing her secondary school here at Beatitude. She has not yet completed her GCE examination and she is not having any of her papers today so she should be in school today right?I got to my new class and selected the perfect place, the rear is good to set up two seats for Rachael and me. The assembly bell rang and I could only see a few of my classmates who did not do the GCE(GENERAL CERTIFICATE EXAMINATION) in the class, Rachael was absent that day.&
"Do you have a crush on Rachael?", Joshua asked and I was flabbergasted by his straight question."What? You are crazy Joshua, be careful of what you spill out especially in someone's house", I said hoping he would keep quiet and leave my life alone at least for today, but the truth was that I only opened a new episode of him as he started singing one stupid song.🎶 Oh, Oh, Oh🎶 Oh, Oh, Oh🎶Michael has a crush🎶 He has a cr
"This one you are smiling at, did you win an award?", my dad asked. "Good afternoon dad", I said, prostrating to greet him. "Afternoon, I have been noticing you from outside the shop, your look shows that you are super excited, what is happening?", he asked Can't Nigerian parents just stop this? I am excited because I have a reason to be happy. Should I just tell him'Dad, I have a crush on one of my best friends, my other bestie told her that I have a crush on her, now I feel happy because she reacted reasonably to the news', I thought " Dad, I am presently 16 years and I have a lot of things to be happy about. For example, I will be graduating very soon, I have good friends that are looking after me", I said hoping it would just end. He nodded and set to leave, I heaved a sigh of relief and closed my eyes. "I just hope it is not about one of your friends, remind me of her name
AUTHOR POINT OF VIEWI want to use this opportunity to thank all of my readers. It has been a long journey writing this book(my first book), all thanks to your reads and ever-supportive reviews.This book has shown different stages on how attraction for the same-sex might set in, as well as how society condemns it. Michael was a great male lead as he decided to control his feelings rather than give in to them.When I wanted to write this book, a question came to my mind. "Why are they gay people as well as lesbians?"I did my research realizing that feelings toward the same sex might start to set in due to involuntary sexual arousal(which is normal).So I thought of writing a book about how a character would be attracted to the same sex but control those feelings. I made Michael go through different stages, to self-discovery and assuring himself he is not gay, not until he involves himself in
EPILOGUEI've gone too far to give up nowJust put a bandage on those scarsThere's no need to be held by failureYou can beat all of the oddsAnd if you feel under pressureScared beyond measureLost a close treasureYou've got to rememberYou're not what they call youCan't limit yourself to whatPeople tell youYou're the final word
Every day seems like a passing phase. Every moment is like a good time. Ever since my last talk with Chris and Phil, I am yet to make a decision. It seems suffocating thinking of what to go for, especially with a bitter feeling in the pit of my stomach.One of my thoughts ended up being against what my body is craving for. I always find myself asking questions. If I eventually am with Phil, will I be happy? What if I remain single and this weird feeling keeps persisting? How will I even figure out the right thing to go for?I looked at the streets with the simmering of light as Phil draped his hand on my shoulder. Anytime I try to tell him to stop trying to be always with me, he becomes sad. In as much as I want him to be back with Senior Joy, he was able to get what I was trying to do.I don't know what is happening to me. I no longer feel those butterflies in my Tommy, anxiety, and nervousness never creep
It would have been a worse scenario for me if I continued to feel the pleasure, but it stopped. My body became numb, as I closed my eyes, the imaginations of Joseph's attempt to rape me crept into my mind.I felt a surge of power as I pushed Phil away."I can't do this. I can't. It is an immoral act", my voice started shaking as tears glimmered in my eyes.I could feel the surprised look on Phil as his gaze was on me. He groaned, then hissed before moving closer to me." Are you okay?", he asked with concern as I nodded."Are you sure you don't want to do this? We both like each other, don't we?", he tried to reassure but I could not help but feel a bitter taste on my tongue." I don't want to get carried away by temporary pleasure. I know you are probably angry but I can't seem to keep off my mind from how we will both feel after having sex. I can't do this. God condemns such act", I said, my mind r
It has been over three weeks with Phil. It has not been an easy one, especially with asking for forgiveness from those he had greatly hurt or done something bad to. So happy that the five people we went to forgave him, tho it took time.It was not easy. Some took days before they forgave Phil. That of Senior Joy and Kevin took a day but the others were like hard nuts to crack. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, but letting go of the hurt. That is obvious from those set of people Phil offended.*****I could not help but beam with a smile as I covered the lid of the cooler container containing the melon soup. I packed it in a small bag, alongside some wraps of pounded yam.Getting outside the kitchen only to meet Chris glancing at me."Ahem, why the stare?", I asked, trying to act calmly without giving away my real mood." Why do I feel you are guilty of something?", Chris asked, munc
It was just as if I was reading the book of Revelation. Philip got entangled with bad friends, who brought him nothing but trouble. He joined the cultist against his will but under the influence of alcohol and drugs.He was forced to do his first assignment or the one closest to his heart will suffer the consequences. He yielded, afraid of facing to see his loved ones dead.Phil turned his head, his eyes red, full of regrets and pain. I felt my heart heavy, as I tried to remain strong at least for him. He needs to let it all out. I also need to know his final decision(s)."I wept that very day, my heart feeling like sinking. I betrayed the trust and love between Joy and me to save her and my foster parents. Trust me when I say that the cult leader meant it as I have seen proof of how he causes the death of other people without even thinking. Most importantly, no traces tend to link to any of his apprentices in this evil
I felt a surge of emotions as I listened to Philip's story. My body trembled at what he has gone through. No doubt the saying that 'THE RICH ALSO CRY' is not a fallacy.Waking up with people you feel were your parents, then they neglected you, becoming business tycoons. You had a strange feeling they are not your parents. Confirming it, it turns out to be true.Facing your so-called parents only to realize they held the truth away from you for over 20 years of your life. The truth was revealed as your true mother abandoned you in front of an orphanage, leaving you to face a cruel world all by yourself.I don't know who to blame right now, whether it was his real mother who left him for over 20 years without turning back to look for him or his foster parents who placed their work lifestyle over their adopted son."You know, that time, after knowing my real mother was back, I wished she could die. I bu
I don't know how I should feel right now. I saw his two hands form into fists as he bowed his head a little. With the little courage within me, I continued staring at his figure even when fear and nervousness enveloped my mind.Few seconds passed as my heart kept pacing. His lips twitched into a smile as he picked his spoon to continue eating his ice cream."Who told you I am a cultist?", he questioned a smile still on his lips, his eyes peeking at me making me feel stupid for asking such a question." I'm sorry I asked such a question. I…", I find words stuck in my throat.He folds his arms, moving his head closer to my ear as he whispers."I am a cultist. The leader of AZA CULT GROUP, one of the notorious cult gangs in this University"I felt as if a knife pierce through my skin as he moved back, his face now showing a sad feature. I tried to move my lips but they felt glued. He is joking right?", I can feel myself asking my i
Fear could probably be the least of my expressions after knowing the true identity of Phil last night. I lost my appetite even when Chris nudged me to eat. He was the one that later ended up eating it all. According to him, it seems he likes me and thought I might help Phil one way or the other.I am still finding it difficult to digest it. Such a young man who happens to be charming, caring, and respectful. Even when I listed the qualities I liked about him, Chris still told me they do not write it on their foreheads whether they are cultists or not.****Standing in front of the mirror, I could not help but compliment my look. Putting on a grey round neck and black trousers with a black sandal. Chris suggested I put on clothes with his favorite colors."Be calm, I will be at the restaurant. I work there now", Chris said." What? When have you started working there?", I asked"I was transferred yesterday. I could not tell you since yo