CHAPTER 12- THE DISCOVERY OF NEW FEELINGS

  I got to school on September 14 for the new session bubbling like a happy child, well I hope to see Rachael. She has not yet made her final decision regarding completing her secondary school here at Beatitude. She has not yet completed her GCE examination and she is not having any of her papers today so she should be in school today right?

   I got to my new class and selected the perfect place, the rear is good to set up two seats for Rachael and me. The assembly bell rang and I could only see a few of my classmates who did not do the GCE(GENERAL CERTIFICATE EXAMINATION) in the class, Rachael was absent that day.

   I felt sad but made myself happy again by reminiscing the moments we've spent together. Joshua was not even around as well to disturb me and I kinda miss Ethan. He does not even have any paper today yet he is absent, such a psycho', I hissed as I thought about him.

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Three weeks have gone yet I was seriously missing both Rachael and Ethan, quite weird. It just becomes clear to me that I am officially having my first crush on Rachael. 

 'So stupid of you to develop a crush on one of your best friends', my subconscious mocked.

  No matter how weird that is, I won't make it obvious. I think it would be the opposite, the fact that I am going to school today makes me feel nervous. Will Rachael come since she is already through with her papers? Will Ethan even continue to attend? I just feel so mixed up with different thoughts, emotions, and feelings stirring up.

  I got to the class only to meet someone on my seat and another person on the seat I reserved for Rachael, WTH! I moved closer only to meet Precious who was just resuming for the first time with her head resting on the desk. 'HAPPY RESUMPTION', I muse

  "You are on my seat Precious", I said.

  "Oh sorry, I have a terrible headache, please can you go to the other side of the class where the boys are, it is obvious the girls are occupying this area", she replied and I looked around only to confirm that her statement was true. The girls are all sitting on the left-hand side of the class while the boys were on the right-hand side.

  I moved my gaze further to the right-hand side of the class and it met with Ethan. Isn't it wonderful, the Great Ethan is resuming for the first time in three weeks in the name of Examination?', I thought. He smiled at me as my face flush. 'Get a grip Michael', I chastise myself turning my face to the ground.

  "Oh, don't you know he kept two seats for both himself and his girlfriend, hero, hero, well-done o", Adenike teased and I blushed lightly.

  "Hero please just sit at the other side of the class, your girlfriend is no longer coming to this school", Precious deadpanned, placing her head on the desk to sleep. The smile on my face faded instantly, as I just hope what she said is not true.

  I quietly moved to the other side of the class only for me to end up sitting beside Ethan, can my day get any better? I always find myself cringing, stuttering, squirming, blushing, and doing all sorts of stupid things whenever I am around him. Just looking at his eyes makes me lost, his smile makes me want to see him smile always.

  I will have to deal with the fact that I have a crush on Rachael and admiration for Ethan. 'Attraction possibly' my inner mind chipped in and I scoffed at that statement.

  'Attraction?', I am still dealing with the fact that Joshua mentioned 'same-sex feelings', does 'same-sex attraction makes sense?' Am I attracted to Ethan? All these questions ran through my mind and the most stupid part is that I am presently 16 years old with no proper answer to the questions that have been bothering me. I need to look into this matter.

   Ethan did not talk to me throughout that day as he even complained bitterly of being in the front seat. Joshua came to my seat, at least to make my day a little bit interesting. It helped because it kept my mind off Rachael and the psycho beside me who did not even say a word to me today, it kinda hurt.

  School ended that day, thanks to Joshua I found myself visiting Rachael today and the truth is I am quite tensed. There is a high possibility I will feel nervous or shy when I am in front of Rachael.

  Joshua is a blabbermouth and telling him about my crush for Rachael is the last thing I would ever try to do. It is not even part of my plan to tell Rachael. I don't want some random feelings to disturb the over 9 months special friendship we had established together.

  We got to her compound and I suddenly feel nervous, beads of sweat all over my face, streaming down my body. I sat down on a chair in their compound and told Joshua to go and call her. He raised his brow, suspicion in his eyes that I started to feel that I made a mistake by asking him to call Rachael.

  I averted my gaze to the ground hoping he would just keep mute especially about my sweaty situation.

  "Michael, this one you are sweating and feeling nervous all of a sudden, something seems off, what is wrong with you", he demanded

  "Nothing", I stuttered gulping down nothing. 

  He put his hand under my chin, lifting it a little. All my thoughts were laced with the fact that he should not figure anything out. I am quite secretive but it seems this silly crush will blow my cover especially since it would be my first.

  "Michael, you are agitated all of a sudden. I had to drag you here which was strange because you are always the one that leads me here. You suddenly decided to sit down unwilling to meet Rachael knowing fully well you two are close like 'Inseperable twins'. There is only one direct question for this", Joshua stated calmly and I felt like breaking his mouth for observing too much.

  "You are silly, just leave me", I said irritated a little bit only to hear that question that almost made me choke on my saliva.

  "Do you have a crush on Rachael?'