CHAPTER 3-A LITTLE GAME

  The past two months have not been an easy one for me. Apart from reading, stress, academics, and the likes, the admiration I had for Khaleed has been a 'thorn in the flesh'.

  Yes, I have had a liking for him since the second day of my schooling. His backside that I saw during the assembly that day sent my body trickling with different emotions.

  The fact that I eventually saw his facial features and front view makes my stomach churn with different sensations  I cannot decipher. The mixed classes did not help matter as that only makes my imaginations go wild. His well-curved eyebrows, full pink lips, and bobbing Adam's apple are part of those features that are unwilling to leave my head.

   I have tried countless times to stop thinking about him but it seems quite impossible, especially when I virtually see him every day. As much as I can distinguish between what is right and wrong, I do not know whether all the feelings I have for the same sex are normal or absurd.

   Curiosity got the best of me as I searched using my dad's phone about admiration for the same sex. The only point I could relate to was that admiration might occur if you like a particular celebrity. I gave up on my search when I realized that the people I have 'admired' (If that is the right word to use), are not celebrities but my classmates.

   Admiration is said to be a positive emotion filled with high regard, esteem, or adoration for someone. All that my mind could bring into a conclusion was that of adoration even though what I felt was based mostly on their physical features. Admiration is a positive feeling but I cannot help but feel some negative vibes with it as if everything happening to me is weird.

    I cannot figure the real meaning of what has been happening to me, I am so confused. I breathe out as I try to solve a particular riddle in my head.

   My mind traveled back to the times I had admired the same sex. I tried to reason with what probably triggered the admiration. I have admired four different boys and they are all handsome,' I thought trying to figure out something.

   Kabir, being the first person, has a good personality, a good brain, and is funny too. 

   I felt a tap on my shoulder jolting me out of my daze, a frown building on my face at the intruder, as I turned my head. "You have been thinking too much, Michael," the voice of Gloria settled as she pokes my nose. The frown disappeared immediately as I flashed her a smile which she frowned at. "You love smiling, don't you? I will advise you not to be late to the Civic Class so that you would not be in today's lesson," she said, which made me laugh as we raced to the school hall meant for mixed classes.

    I paced my breathing as my eyes ran through the hall, before Gloria and I found our way to join Rachael who was reading a book.

   I sat down, as the two girls, Gloria and Rachael began to gist. My eyes scanned the hall, which was filled with my classmates. The noise was on a high pitch as mutterings, talkings, and murmurings filled the air. My gaze landed on Joshua, whose lanky body was sitting on a chair, his legs crossed. 

    My gaze shifted to the other boys, which included Khaleed sitting in his handsome glory. His back slightly resting on the chair, his legs spread with a smile plastered on his lips, as his pink lips made a nice curve. His eyes met with mine, as he now bows his head a little before smiling at me. An act that I had become used to, as the boys deemed doing it as a form of respect to me. I let out a smile, my face turned crimson. My gaze landed on my book, which I pretended to keep staring at to pass time, and maybe remove my thought from Khaleed.

   The Civic teacher came in as few students gave a disgruntled look at the sound at her arrival, probably for cutting their conversation, which was noise-making. 

    The Civic teacher, who is a woman in her late 20's is the real definition of charisma, filled with a lot of talking ability. 'She can talk for Africa'. As much as some find her uninteresting, I find her explanation quite fascinating. 

    She cleared her throat as she glared at us. "Just one minute and you guys are already making noise, huh. Are you babies?" her face twisted showing a disappointed look. I glanced slightly around as some of my classmate's faces were waiting to burst out of laughter. 'Ok, this is bad, 'I thought.

     "And you Michael, I thought you were responsible enough to keep them shut," she said as her face landed on me. I thought I was invisible. I have only spent like 2 months in this school. I bow my head slightly, as my eyes could not meet hers.

 "We are sorry ma," the voice of some girls sounded through the hall. I raised my head as the same set of girls kept repeating the same words, to pacify our Civic teacher.

 "Mtcheew, sorry for yourself. Keep behaving like babies," she said as she turned to face the board to write. 

  I couldn't help but twist my mouth into a tiny smile, at how easily she calmed down. 

  She continued the class talking about Democracy. She won't stop stating how Democracy was not put into good practice in Nigeria. She is sure of being a drama queen.

  The class came to an end as most of my classmates trooped out of the hall for a break. I sat down going through my Civic notes since I did not feel a longing to eat. Rachael and Gloria left as well.

    After a few minutes of checking my notes, my head turned in the direction of chattering and laughter among some boys.  They include Joshua(my male bestie), Khaleed(the person I secretly admire), Quadri(the naughtiest boy in my class), and Paul(our class captain). I felt a wave of nervousness descend on me as  I stared back at my book.

    The truth is I am always close to the opposite sex than the same sex. When my former English teacher at my previous school placed a ban on seeing me with the girls, I tried to mingle with the boys. It did not end well as any time I spent with the boys, any direct or indirect contact with them breeds nervousness, shyness, and sweaty palms. I will often blush at small comments they made especially when with the person I have a liking for. # WEIRD SYSTEM. I have been familiar with Joshua, Paul, and Quadri, hopefully, which will make me less shy around them.

  "Hey Michael, would you like to join us? We want to play a game," Joshua called out to me, jolting me back to earth as I turned swiftly to face them.

"Sure, why not?" I said trying to build confidence in myself as I moved to sit down with them.

"Hero, hero, welcome sir," Quadri said as I rolled my eyes, which he smirked at. I felt Joshua's right hand around my neck as I tried to relax a little bit under his arms.

  "What is the game about," I summoned the little courage to face Khaleed, who is in front of me. I could feel my body heat up as my gaze met with his.

  "It is titled 'A LITTLE GAME," Khaleed stated.

"Oh, that sounds promising, tell me more about it,' I found myself talking quite well which made me wonder why I was not feeling shy.

" Well, each one of us will ask a general question, and we all have to answer," he said and I nodded. 

  "I told you it is lame. Hero won't even like it," Paul commented as I arch my eyebrows. "I like the game. Trust me, Paul, you will like it. Can I start first," I raised my left hand as they all nodded.

    I glanced slightly at the person In front of me as the only question that flashed through my mind was to know more about his personality and principles to judge the 'so-called admiration I have for him,".

   I cleared my throat ready to ask a question "What do you admire most about yourself or your personality?" I asked as they started mumbling about who to answer the question first. I raised my hand signifying that I will go first. 

"Even though I am gentle, I do not like to pretend. In short, what I like about my personality is my transparency," I explained as Quadri gave out a small clap which I scoffed at, as he winks at me.

  Others spoke as well and Khaleed was the last person to talk. Khaleed scratched his head as he kept looking at me. 

"Ok, speak on. I don't bite," I said as he chuckled.

  "What I love about my personality is that I am a player," he blurted out raising his hands dramatically. The shout of 'THE BAD BOY' rented through the air, making him smile. They started clasping each other's hands wearing those stupid smiles on their faces.

   I felt my throat dry up instantly as I just stared at him, wondering whether he was just joking. I felt a piercing in my body, as disdain built in my body. I felt anger gushing down my body, (which I hid well), at the number of girls he had played.

   'I only admired a player. I am stupid,' I told my inner self. He was nothing but a player. I fell for a player.