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Chapter 21

Author: Amanda
last update Last Updated: 2022-11-13 04:43:47

BROOKS

It's been a little over a month since we were together. I have been having dreams about Crystal lately and it's driving me crazy because I don't normally dream and now that I am, I want what I have been dreaming about. I have to get up and go for a checkup at the VA and I don't want to go. I have one every 6 months unless I get sick. I got dressed and called my mom to let her know I was up and going to my appointment. When I got off the phone with her, I got in the car and headed out. As I was passing by Crystal's house, I saw her sitting outside on the back porch. She looked like she was sick. I slowed down and she looked up and gave me a faint smile. I asked if she was ok and she said she was waiting on her dad to take her to the doctor. I told her I was headed to my 6-month checkup and I would be back in a few hours. She said she would call me when she gets home. I blew her a kiss and headed to the VA. When I pulled up at the VA, I took a deep breath as I got out of the ca
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    CRYSTAL It's been a week and my viral infection is gone, but I haven't seen or heard from Brooks. I chose not to call him because I was still a little hurt at his relief. I know I am not ready for a baby and I know he could get in trouble if anyone found out about us, but now I feel like he doesn't really want to be with me. How could I have been so stupid? I gave in and gave him what I knew deep down he wanted. I think if he tries to contact me, keeping my distance from him for a while might be a good idea. I sat down on the rail on my front porch and opened my journal. I started sketching the bushes in front of my house and as I was looking at them I saw his SUV. I put my head down and tried to avoid any looks if he was looking this way. I peeked to see if he was gone and the coast was clear. I went back to sketching the bushes and when I finished I asked my dad if I could go for a walk. He told me he didn't care and I headed out the door. I decided to walk down the road instead o

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  • Us   Chapter 23

    BROOKSI don't understand why she got so upset at my relief when she said she wasn't pregnant. I mean she is 17 and I am 21, she knows we can't get caught. I know she is falling in love with me but I can't fall for her. This was all supposed to be a lay, and that was it. I don't want to be in a relationship but I care for her and I shouldn't. What is wrong with me? I have never been a relationship guy, I have always been a f*ck them and leave or become f*ck buddies. I have never cared for any of the girls before. I also have never been with anyone younger than me, maybe that's what it is. I'm like one of those mentors who care for their mentorees. No that can't be it because I can't stop thinking about her. This girl haunts my mind every minute of the day. My mom walked into the front door and I said I have a question. She asked me what it was and I said can you tell me what it means when a guy or girl is on someone's mind every waking minute of the day? My mom laughed and told me it

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  • Us   Chapter 24

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  • Us   Chapter 25

    CRYSTALWhen I woke up, I kept telling myself it was just a nightmare and that Brooks didn't really come here last night and tell me all that. Deep down I knew it wasn't. I got up out of bed and jumped in the shower. I needed to wash my face really good and try to relieve some of the puffiness from my eyes so I could go to school and not look like I was having an allergic reaction to something. Once my puffiness had gone down, I put some makeup on to try and hide the rest of it. It worked for the majority of it, but you could tell I had been crying. I knew what to tell my dad if he noticed. I'd say I was thinking about my mom. I fixed myself some toast with butter and got my books in my bookbag and headed out the door. When I got to the bus stop force of habit kicked in and I looked that way. I saw his explorer was gone and I turned around and waited for the bus. Jonah walked up behind me and said hey. I turned and was about to say good morning when I saw he had been crying. I asked i

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  • Us   Chapter 26

    **Trigger Warning** This chapter hints at self-harm. BROOKSI heard my phone ring and when I looked down I saw it was the house. So I ignored it. After the second time, a voicemail popped up and I figured it was mom or Jonah begging me to come home. I just ignored it. I got up off the ground and went and grabbed another bottle of Liquor I bought when I got up. I actually bought 5 bottles. I opened it and tilted my head back. It burned going down but at this point, I didn't care. I wanted to get so f*cked up, I forgot everything. I was halfway through the bottle when my phone rang again but it only rang once and stopped. I looked at the number and it said restricted. I went back to drinking. I finished the bottle and started walking well stumbling around and the anger towards myself flared up and I began hitting a tree. Over and over and over again my fist connected with the trunk until I heard a crack and felt the pain instantly. I knew I had either fracture it or broken it but I d

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  • Us   Chapter 27

    *** Trigger Warning*** This chapter talks about a suic*de attempt and self-harming. CRYSTALWhen Jonah left from my window, I sat back against the wall with tears rolling down my face and grabbed my bottle of anti-depressant medication, and took 4 of them at once. I closed my eyes and tried to picture my mom holding me when I was a kid but I couldn't. I kept seeing his face and hearing him in my head admit everything, hurt so much more than the night he told me. I took another pill and picked up my pocket knife and cut another line into my wrist then another. I was done with all the pain I have had to go through in my life. I didn't want to live anymore. I cut a couple more lines on my wrist and then everything went black. All of a sudden I could hear people talking but couldn't open my eyes and I couldn't speak. I felt like I was choking on something. I was choking on my own vomit. I heard someone telling me it was ok and to relax but I was freaking out. I finally opened my eyes

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  • Us   Chapter 28

    BROOKSWhen we left the hospital, Jonah looked at me and said, “What in the hell did you do to my friend Brooks? What happened before you called me and told me to go to her window? Don't say nothing, because your hand is fractured and she is in the hospital with bandages on her wrist and talking about anti-depressants, and before you say it, YES I know what they are." I looked at my 14-year-old brother and said when in the hell did you become so grown? He said, “I kind of had to grow up because I have a dumbass brother like you, who likes to share details on the girls he has slept with and doesn't know how to deal with his mistakes so he comes to me." I said Jonah watch your mouth. He laughed and said, “Why? It was ok for you to curse at my age. Why should I watch what I say? It's not like I am cursing mom out like you did. I am more mature than most 14-year-old boys and believe I have the right to act like an adult because you sure as hell don't." I said text mom and let her kn

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  • Us   Chapter 29

    CRYSTAL I finally get to go home today. I have missed my comfy bed and I have actually missed school. I know I can't go back until next week but I can't wait. I need a distraction from Brooks and I know all the other crap I deal with, will take my mind off of it for a little while. I am still pissed at him and I need him to know I was taking pain meds and that's the only reason I was being nice. Now that I have the IV out and the meds have worn off I am back to wanting to cut his d*ck off for hurting me. The shrink, Dr. Gunn is coming back in, in a few minutes to talk to me again before he signs my release papers and I am going to tell him the same answers I said yesterday. I am not mentally unstable and I want out of this place. I hate hospitals. Brooks has texted me 7 times since I got up and one text last night after I fell asleep. I kind of regret calling him but I was also kind of out of it. I was sitting up in my bed when Dr. Gunn knocked on the door. I told him to come in and

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  • Us   Chapter 60

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  • Us   Chapter 55

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    BROOKSWhen we left Crystal's dads, Crystal fell asleep in the car. The ride back to my house was quiet except for Crystal snoring. When we pulled up at the house, I woke her up and she asked where we were. I said we are at home babe. She laid her head back on the seat and went back to sleep. I laughed and got out. I walked over to the passenger side and got her out. I carried her inside and laid her down on the bed. I went into the kitchen and got a glass of water and some aspirin. I went back into the bedroom and set it on the table next to the bed. I leaned down and kissed her forehead and before I walked out of the room, I heard her mumble something. I walked back over to the bed and asked her what she said. She turned her head with her eyes closed and said,"I love you so much and I can't wait until we have a baby."I stood there not sure what to say to her because I know she is not in her right mind. I finally said just get some sleep baby. We will talk tomorrow. I went into the

  • Us   Chapter 53

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  • Us   Chapter 52

    BROOKSWhen we pulled into my mom's driveway, Ray was getting out of his truck and Jonah was standing on the porch. I asked Jonah where mom was and he said she went to the store but should be back any minute. I walked inside with Ray and began taking my bed apart and helped him get my dresser out of the house and loaded up. As we were heading back in to get my bed frame and mattress, My mom pulled into the driveway and got out. She opened the trunk and told Jonah to help her unload the groceries and put them in the back of my explorer. I asked her what she was doing and she told me to hush and said she bought me some food and supplies to start me off. I smiled and told my mom thank you but I didn't need her to do that. She told me to shut it or she would come organize my house and clean it. I laughed and said, fine mom. You win. Thank you for getting me all that. My mom closed the back of my car and walked up to the porch and smiled at Crystal. I said mom, this is Crystal. Crystal thi

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