A million thoughts ran through my head on the drive to the hospital.Foremost of them was the thought that I was doing the wrong thing.I mean, what exactly was I doing? I had no plan, no idea what I was going to say to this woman I had never met that would convince her to give me the whereabouts of her daughter, no backup. Nothing.Even if by some miracle this encounter did pan out and I did find out where Alex went, then what? Do I just show up? And say what?After that last night I had a feeling she would not appreciate my unexpected presence in her life. She was probably moving on and healing right this minute.A lump of despair and pain settled in my stomach.Gripping the steering, I tried to reign in my rapidly spiraling thoughts.One thing at a time, Carson. One thing at a time.First I needed to find her. After I made sure she was safe and sound and not in any sort of danger I would then figure out how to approach her and fix whatever I broke.With something that resembled a p
It was the same house I grew up in but somehow it seemed colder, more frightening than usual.I was in my upstairs bedroom cowering under my favorite Bratz duvet while I listened frightfully to the heavy footsteps ascending the stairs, intent on my room.Tears coursed down my face as I silently pleaded for the angry man to leave me alone. Assuming the fetal position, I shut my eyes firmly.I heard the creak of my door and strangely I could smell the alcohol from the man at the door through the thick material of the duvet over my head."Alex," he drew the first vowel in my name. "You've been a naughty girl."Suddenly the duvet was yanked from me leaving me cold and vulnerable to the man with the strange red eyes and feral smile. The scent of alcohol was almost choking at that point."Pl ... ease," was all I could mutter through my torrent of tears.He made a tsk sound, the animalistic smile still on his face before he
I hate Mondays.The day was my worst in the entire week. I mean who likes Mondays?Somehow people always seem to still live in the weekend on Mondays.So for a full ten hours I was on my heels correcting other people's ridiculous mistakes.There was the case of a lost shipment of silicon in Germany, a mishap with one of the robots in New York and apparently an employee got knocked off his feet in Tampa trying to dodge a crane's load that had accidentally swung in the wrong direction. Luckily he only sustained a few minor injuries. Which was good since the last thing I needed was a litigation.By 8 I was completely exhausted and sat rubbing the bridge of my nose. Every muscle in my body ached at the simple action of moving my hand back and forth.I heard my door open, the click of heels on the marble floor and the dull thud of something flat hitting my desk.I opened my eyes through my fingers and found Alex standing before me wi
After yesterday night I got back into my normal sad, indifferent self and the alarming speed with which it happened made me wonder if I'd imagined my whole encounter. That my mind was so in need of some respite that it'd conjured up some mysterious woman.But I knew she was real. I could still smell her lavender shampoo, could still fell the soft skin of her thigh and the spark of mischievousness in her eyes.Her eyes.I found those globes even more odd than her mask. They were obviously contact lenses-they were the colors of the rainbow. Seriously what's with her and rainbows?-but she wore them like they were her real eyes. They could've easily been her eyes.I thought that a night's sleep and a good dose of reality would remove her from my mind but by three o'clock I'd replayed my conversation with her about a million times, give or take. It could've been more. I always ended up with the same question. Why'd she suddenly disappear?I sat fe
There were a couple of specific reasons I didn't do pool parties.For one, water and electrical appliances didn't mix.Secondly, after everything I was supposed to hang out in the pool with everyone because that was the best place to hunt for future gigs. Someone swimming in there would have a birthday party the next day or have a friend who had a friend that would love the famous DJ Butterfly to play at their party or club.Reason one although valid was more easily solved than reason two.Reason two was the reason I dreaded pool parties. It required me to put on a bikini and you wouldn't catch me dead in one of those skimpy little things. I wasn't really that comfortable with my body so putting out there for everyone to see was a no-no. Besides no one would be comfortable seeing my big old scar.As I packed my laptop reason two filled me with so much apprehension I could feel the sweet po
“So . . .” I started and trailed off.We were seated in a booth in a small diner and all my senses were screaming that something was horribly wrong.She'd clammed up after the talk about her car and was seating across from me staring stonily at her burger and stabbing her soda with the straw.I sighed. “I'm sorry if I upset you.” It seemed like all I was doing tonight was apologizing but in my defense it was like every breath I took irritated her.She let out a sigh and ran a hand through her hair. The rainbow colored strands fell gloriously around her shoulders and reminded me of cotton candy. “We have to lay down some basic rules,” she said.“Why? I'm never seeing you again remember?”She shot me a glare and I immediately shut my gob. In the short time that I've been with her I've learned that rainbow hair or not, this chic
The closest I've ever come to meeting anyone from my life during the day was when Willow and Inés — my two girlfriends from work — were entering the club I played at just as I was leaving.I quickly tied my hair up and made a probably-world-record speedy exit.That was last year and I had never cross paths with anyone from my day life ever since. Until yesterday.Of all the people that had appeared in nightmares where my secret was uncovered Carson Miller was never featured, simply because even my nightmares knew that if he ever found out about his assistant's double life I'd be unemployed in a matter of seconds. A part-time DJ who played in sleazy clubs and bars for extra cash wasn't exactly the type of person Miller Inc. would hire let alone allow to work directly with its top dog.There was a grey area where my boss was concerned. In the office I could handle his broodiness and aloof
I woke with the intense feeling that I was about to have a really crappy day and my premonition was confirmed when I heard my doorbell sing out.I looked up from where I'd parked myself on the couch with my laptop and a plate of chocolate pancakes.I wasn't expecting anyone other than Alex but it was just eight-fifteen — way too early for Alex to show up.I resolved to leave the person at the door and continued perusing my emails.The doorbell sounded out again and after I didn't answer it it became an insistent chime.“Fine!” I hollered setting my laptop on the crystal coffee table. “I'm coming.”I got up not bothering that the only piece of clothing I had on was pajama bottoms and a few crumbs of pancakes.I shivered a little and yanked the door open ready to glare whoever was there right back to hell.The d
A million thoughts ran through my head on the drive to the hospital.Foremost of them was the thought that I was doing the wrong thing.I mean, what exactly was I doing? I had no plan, no idea what I was going to say to this woman I had never met that would convince her to give me the whereabouts of her daughter, no backup. Nothing.Even if by some miracle this encounter did pan out and I did find out where Alex went, then what? Do I just show up? And say what?After that last night I had a feeling she would not appreciate my unexpected presence in her life. She was probably moving on and healing right this minute.A lump of despair and pain settled in my stomach.Gripping the steering, I tried to reign in my rapidly spiraling thoughts.One thing at a time, Carson. One thing at a time.First I needed to find her. After I made sure she was safe and sound and not in any sort of danger I would then figure out how to approach her and fix whatever I broke.With something that resembled a p
Goodbye Carson.Goodbye Carson.Goodbye Carson.Those two words had been stuck on repeat in my head after the disaster that was last night.I had barely recovered from the shock that the woman of my dreams was actually my unassuming assistant when she'd told me she was leaving for God knows where.After I got home I fell into a fitful sleep before I couldn't take it anymore and broke one of her rules. I called her number.Unfortunately it didn't even ring or go to voicemail. There was nothing. And now I was back to square one.“Sir,” a tiny voice and a snap of fingers brought me back to the present.I was in my office, a mound of work on my desk and the frightened blue eyes of my new assistant peering at me as she clutched a brown styrofoam coffee cup like it had the power to protect her from me.Mary — or Marion, I wasn't exactly sure what her name was — was my second assistant since Alex had left. I had fired Helen over the phone sometime last night after I called to ask about my sc
All he did was stare.For the five minutes since I let go of my mask he'd been staring at me with an expression that looked worryingly like that of an electrocuted individual.I was starting to feel squirmy under his gobsmacked gaze.“Please say something,” I urged.The sound of my voice seemed to thaw him a little and he rightened his slacked jaw.“I don't understand,” he started after a while. “So you're telling me that all this time, this whole time, it was you?”I swallowed. My courage had started to fail me.“I can explain . . .”“I am so fucking confused,” he continued as if I hadn't said anything. “So you're telling me that this whole time it's . . . you've . . . God, I'm so confused.”He started rubbing his temples the way I'd seen him do after a long day at his desk.“I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to go as far as it went, truly.”“Why?” he asked all of a sudden. “Why make me believe you were someone else? Why pretend? Why me?”I hated that my eyes had filled of their own ac
I didn't think that I would be so happy to see the neon lights of an ice cream shop.After a particularly horrid day at work with my new dunderhead of a PA, Helen, I was more than ready to stamp down whatever discordant feelings I had for the brightly colored shop and accept all the bizareness it offered with open arms.I locked my car and started up to the shop with my hands stuck in the pockets of my leather jacket.My heart was racing at the thought of finally seeing her after a very difficult four weeks.As I got to the door I had to wait for a young couple to exit before I could enter.The raven-haired woman held an ice cream cone in one hand and her boyfriend in the other and she was laughing. They were both laughing.I stood there and watched as they turned a corner and disappeared.It was only after they were gone that I realized that I wanted that. I was ready for that.I never thought that I would but for the first time in my life I wanted a serious relationship. With someon
I woke up with a steady thumping in my head. Like someone was going crazy with a drum kit plugged into an amplifier.It took all the energy I could summon just to open my eyes, at this point I couldn't even imagine moving.As I surveyed my surroundings I realized that I wasn't in my apartment, in fact I didn't recognize any of the decor. The deep aquamarine wallpaper with the matching curtains and the complimentary paintings on the wall were all totally strange to me.I groaned as I tried to remember how and why I ended up in an unfamiliar bedroom, with only soft blue-green sheets covering my body.Nothing came to me past the agonizing throbbing in my skull.One thing was clear even with my limited thinking faculties: somewhere between yesterday and this morning I had made a terrible mistake. And even though the woman — God, how I hoped it was a woman because I
“Duuude!” came a jovial voice from the door of my gym.As I was lying face-up on the bench I couldn't see who it was so I continued my strenuous workout with the weights.My muscles burned as I raised and lowered the heavy barbell but I welcomed the pain and continued.Soon not only the steel bar and the geometric pattern of the ceiling was in my line of sight. The upside-down image of a head of brown hair and a raised dark eyebrow had entered the mix.“Didn't you hear me call you?” Casper asked.“I hardly . . . think my mother . . . named me dude,” I puffed out, slightly miffed that my exercise regime had been interrupted.“What? Dude, you're not being intelligible right now.”Finally giving in to the irritation that Casper brought I slammed the barbell on the rack and sat up.“The fuck are you doing in my house?” I heaved as I tried to catch my breath.“I came to check up on you, find out what's going on. Man, the ladies miss the ol' C-train! When are you getting back out there?”“A
“I honestly have no idea what to do. He's still at this and I think I might be losing my mind,” I complained to my friends.“There's no need to worry, sweetie. He'll let it go soon,” Inés stroked my arm soothingly.“That's what you said last Sunday and it's another week now!”I put my face in my hands.It had been precisely two weeks since Carson started on his quest to find Butterfly and he was going nowhere fast even with a PI.I remembered the conversation with Big Mac like it was yesterday.I was pacing my office when the door opened and the beefy, massive form of Stanley MacIntosh entered with his signature half-moon smile and unruly mop of ginger curls.Big Mac was what he was affectionately known as to the people in Miller Inc. who used his services. Despite his intimidating size he was really
“You don't have to say you love me, I just wanna tell you something, lately you've been on my mind,” I sang to Carmine as I entered my favorite Starbucks.His bushy eyebrows knitted together. “Wow, I don't think I know that one.”“Come on, Carmine,” I urged as I leaned on the counter. “You can't just give up without giving it a try. Come on.”“Ok. Let's see. That sounds really romantic, so, Bruno Mars?”“What? No! Harry Styles, bitch.”“Ah,” he nodded. “I wasn't even close.”“Adore You. One of my personal favorites.”Carmine nodded again. “So, where you been, Alex? I haven't seen you in a while, thought you started getting your coffee someplace else,” he drummed his slender fingers on the table and nervously looked around.
Prying my eyes open with a groggy groan, I reached out to the other side of my bed and felt nothing but the soft sheets.Rubbing my eyes I blinked rapidly and looked again.It was empty and this time my brain was awake enough to tell me that something was wrong.Sitting up, I looked toward the balcony where the sun was slowly making its way up in the sky but there was no sign of the majestic woman I'd spent the night wrapped around.Last night was the single best sex I had ever had in my life. It was both wild and rapturous and I did not know that it could ever be that enjoyable.Putting on a pair of black sweatpants I ran a hand through my already messy hair and went off to find Butterfly.As it turned out I didn't have to go far because as soon as I reached the stairs I caught a few strains of music coming from downstairs.Following the sound I found mys