After yesterday night I got back into my normal sad, indifferent self and the alarming speed with which it happened made me wonder if I'd imagined my whole encounter. That my mind was so in need of some respite that it'd conjured up some mysterious woman.
But I knew she was real. I could still smell her lavender shampoo, could still fell the soft skin of her thigh and the spark of mischievousness in her eyes.
Her eyes.
I found those globes even more odd than her mask. They were obviously contact lenses-they were the colors of the rainbow. Seriously what's with her and rainbows?-but she wore them like they were her real eyes. They could've easily been her eyes.
I thought that a night's sleep and a good dose of reality would remove her from my mind but by three o'clock I'd replayed my conversation with her about a million times, give or take. It could've been more. I always ended up with the same question. Why'd she suddenly disappear?
I sat feeling like Prince Charming when Cinderella ran except this Cinderella left with both shoes on.
Alex had to snap her fingers repeatedly in front of my face before I focused.
The only thing different with her was that today she managed to wear some lip-gloss. She still had the I-couldn't-give-two-fucks-if-I-tried look and another shapeless grey dress that distorted her figure.
"I'm sorry I'm so out of it today," I rubbed my face. "You were saying?"
"I said I'm leaving for a couple of hours. I'll be reachable by email or text if you need me, I'd rather you didn't call," she shifted uncomfortably as she picked a spot on her drab dress.
Of course. Today's Tuesday.
Every Tuesday Alex took off to God knew where for half the day. I didn't question it because she never took out of her vacation time and worked really hard unlike the rest of the morons on my payroll.
"Sure. I'll text if I need you."
She nodded but didn't leave immediately. "I know this is the last thing you wanna hear but you probably should get in touch with your mom. She called about three times just this hour asking of you. You could continue ignoring her but I'll tell you now that the next time Cynthia Miller calls I'm putting her through. You can fire me if you want."
With those last words she turned on her heel and pivoted herself out.
If it were anyone else they'd have been out of a job the minute they said those words but of course I wouldn't fire Alex. I don't know how I survived without her.
I shook her words out of my head and resolving to continue ignoring my mother I unzipped the casing protecting my grey MacBook Air.
As I set it up in front of me the full ludicrousness of what I was about to do hit me with full force.
I prided myself on being an above average stalker-let's face it we've all stalked someone at some point in our lives-but I didn't know anything about her and short of typing 'how to find the strange masked woman with rainbow hair and lovely lavender shampoo I met at a random bar last night' into G****e, there was no way I could find her.
I intertwined my fingers behind my head and leaned into my chair.
Think Carson.
Even though I'd replayed last night a million and one times, there was something nagging at me about it.
Suddenly it clicked. The bartender!
They seemed really familiar with each other and if anyone would know her it'd be him.
Praying I remembered the place Casper took me and what the bartender looked like, I grabbed the keys to my inconspicuous Honda, shrugged on my favorite leather jacket over my work clothes and was out the door in two minutes.
"I'll try to make it back early but if I'm not back in time close up shop for me, will ya, Willow?" I said to my secretary as I passed her desk.
She had irritation written in her gray eyes as she ran a hand through her slate grey hair. Willow was the only other person I fully trusted with pretty much everything.
"Why can't you do it? Where are you going?"
"Thanks Will," I managed to get out before stepping into the elevator and punching the button for the garage.
Soon and with the help of G****e Maps I parked outside the bar.
I got out and entered.
Without the swarm of people, the smell of alcohol and cigarettes and the loud music it became apparent how small the place really was. It took me ten steps to get to the bar.
I was in luck because it was the same bartender from last night that turned to attend to me. I recognized his curly blond hair and the scar over his left eyebrow.
"What can I get you?" His voice was gruff.
"A whiskey. Thank you." I settled into a wooden stool and surveyed the handful of people drinking.
"Thanks," I said as the amber liquid was placed before me. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure." he started cleaning a glass cup.
"I'm ..." I started, unsure. "Looking for someone and I think you might know her."
His eyebrow perked up but otherwise his face was neutral.
"I know I might sound crazy but she was here last night. She had this rainbow hair and she wore this pink mask." I sighed heavily. "Do you think I'm crazy?"
"Oh, Butterfly, yeah I know her." He turned and dropped the cup. Picking up another one he turned back.
"What?" I was genuinely confused.
"Her name's Butterfly, at least that's what she calls herself. You're looking for the girl with the mask, right?" I nodded. "Good luck finding her but she's the best DJ in entire state of Florida."
"What do you mean good luck finding her?"
"No one knows what she does during the day or what she looks like, she only appears at night with a mask. And she's super private."
Feeling dejected I uttered a low "thanks".
"But," I stopped at that. "I hear she's playing a gig at a pool party tonight, if you wanna try your luck."
"Sure, thanks man."
He wrote the address on a paper napkin and handed it to me. "But it's invite only," he shrugged.
"I'll work something out. Thanks a lot man."
And with that I was out of the bar, drink untouched.
I sat in my car a while twirling the piece of flimsy paper in my hands.
Invite only.
There was only one person I knew who would help me with a plan to crash this party. Casper.
I turned on the engine and made my way to Casper's office.
"I need your help," I said bursting into his office.
"Finally!" he jumped up from his chair and came around his desk. "What is it?"
"We gotta crash this party." I gave him the address and started pacing. "It's invite only so I don't think ..."
"Oh William's party. It's cool I have an invite."
I stopped my pacing and stared into his face. He noticed my staring and asked "what?"
"Is there anybody that you don't know in this city?"
He shrugged but was smiling. "Is there anybody important that I don't know in this city is what you should be asking. I used to do business with William's father, after the old man retired he transferred everything to his son. Big mistake if you ask me, boy never does anything with the money other than party nonstop."
"Well I didn't ask. Now let's go," I grabbed his arm and attempted to push him out of the door but he dug his heels in and resisted movement.
"Relax man. The party isn't for another three hours," he carefully peeled my fingers from his arm and rubbed where they'd been. "What's wrong with you? Why are you so in a rush anyway? Yesterday I had to drag you kicking and screaming just to have a drink and today you're as hyper as a dog in heat, what gives?"
I sighed. "Sorry, Cas." I plopped into an overstuffed black leather chair, closed my eyes and ran a hand through my hair.
"That's all I get? Sorry?" Casper's indignant voice sliced through the haze of black I was slipping into. "I'm your best friend man!"
That made me snap my eyes open and frown. "No, Eddie Howard is my best friend."
Something that looked suspiciously like hurt and disbelieve crossed Casper's hazel eyes. I could understand his disbelieve but the hurt struck me as odd. Did Casper really entertain thoughts that he was my best friend? Ha!
Eddie Howard was once interviewed by Bus Daily. He was the CEO of Howard Enterprises and arguably the richest man in the world. Where he was serious and prone to planning everything to a T, I was more in-the-moment and carefree which was why people didn't believe he was my best friend. That and he lived all the way in New York.
What people didn't know, however, was that I was born in New York and lived there a great deal of my childhood and some of my adolescence before my family moved our HQ to Florida. Eddie and I used to be neighbors, we went to the same schools but only bonded through our love for violent video games. When we weren't in school we'd be at my house shooting zombies or assassinating other players-nobody knew how to think like other people like Eddie-and making fun of my twin brother, Carter.
Another thing people didn't know about me. I was a twin. Carter and I didn't really talk much because he was so awkward and quiet and didn't do well with words. But he was a damned good photographer according to what I heard in the rumor mills. We had this unspoken agreement to never be in the same city at the same time, because we were so identical it saves him the cameras and microphones they'd have shoved into his face thinking it was me.
Anyway, Eddie and I started playing video games when we were six, now at twenty-eight we still played, just infrequently. These days he seemed to be more busy than usual with his company and his wife, Amethyst who was pregnant with their first child.
"Wow!" was all Casper said before resuming his seat.
"Look man ... it isn't anything personal." I told him.
"No, it's cool bro, really."
He still had the hurt look on his face and I internally rolled my eyes. Grow up will ya?
Since I couldn't go back to my office and I was in no frame of mind to focus on anything, I stayed put and for the next two hours I watched Casper work, paced about and even fell in and out of a fitful sleep. I wasn't really a patient man so having to wait three hours was synonymous to torture for me.
I was on my fifth round of pacing and swearing when I spotted Casper's smug smile.
"What?" I snapped at him. I was about ready to explode from impatience and my nerves and one wrong word from Casper and I would've eaten him raw.
"This is new. It's a woman isn't it?" his fingers formed a steeple and he assumed the wise sage look.
"Go to hell," I checked my watch and almost jumped with joy when I saw that I'd successfully wasted two and a half hours. "Can we go now?"
"We've still got thirty minutes" he saw my glare and sighed resignedly, "fine, fine. Let's go," he grabbed his jacket that was hanging at the back of the chair and we both piled into my car.
As I drove through the roads lit by street lamps I was hit by the full foolishness of what I was about to do. I had no idea if she'd even want to talk to me and most importantly I had no idea what I'd do if it turned out she didn't want to see me.
"Ready?" asked Casper when I stopped in the driveway.
Only one way to find out.
There were a couple of specific reasons I didn't do pool parties.For one, water and electrical appliances didn't mix.Secondly, after everything I was supposed to hang out in the pool with everyone because that was the best place to hunt for future gigs. Someone swimming in there would have a birthday party the next day or have a friend who had a friend that would love the famous DJ Butterfly to play at their party or club.Reason one although valid was more easily solved than reason two.Reason two was the reason I dreaded pool parties. It required me to put on a bikini and you wouldn't catch me dead in one of those skimpy little things. I wasn't really that comfortable with my body so putting out there for everyone to see was a no-no. Besides no one would be comfortable seeing my big old scar.As I packed my laptop reason two filled me with so much apprehension I could feel the sweet po
“So . . .” I started and trailed off.We were seated in a booth in a small diner and all my senses were screaming that something was horribly wrong.She'd clammed up after the talk about her car and was seating across from me staring stonily at her burger and stabbing her soda with the straw.I sighed. “I'm sorry if I upset you.” It seemed like all I was doing tonight was apologizing but in my defense it was like every breath I took irritated her.She let out a sigh and ran a hand through her hair. The rainbow colored strands fell gloriously around her shoulders and reminded me of cotton candy. “We have to lay down some basic rules,” she said.“Why? I'm never seeing you again remember?”She shot me a glare and I immediately shut my gob. In the short time that I've been with her I've learned that rainbow hair or not, this chic
The closest I've ever come to meeting anyone from my life during the day was when Willow and Inés — my two girlfriends from work — were entering the club I played at just as I was leaving.I quickly tied my hair up and made a probably-world-record speedy exit.That was last year and I had never cross paths with anyone from my day life ever since. Until yesterday.Of all the people that had appeared in nightmares where my secret was uncovered Carson Miller was never featured, simply because even my nightmares knew that if he ever found out about his assistant's double life I'd be unemployed in a matter of seconds. A part-time DJ who played in sleazy clubs and bars for extra cash wasn't exactly the type of person Miller Inc. would hire let alone allow to work directly with its top dog.There was a grey area where my boss was concerned. In the office I could handle his broodiness and aloof
I woke with the intense feeling that I was about to have a really crappy day and my premonition was confirmed when I heard my doorbell sing out.I looked up from where I'd parked myself on the couch with my laptop and a plate of chocolate pancakes.I wasn't expecting anyone other than Alex but it was just eight-fifteen — way too early for Alex to show up.I resolved to leave the person at the door and continued perusing my emails.The doorbell sounded out again and after I didn't answer it it became an insistent chime.“Fine!” I hollered setting my laptop on the crystal coffee table. “I'm coming.”I got up not bothering that the only piece of clothing I had on was pajama bottoms and a few crumbs of pancakes.I shivered a little and yanked the door open ready to glare whoever was there right back to hell.The d
Ecstasy! was packed.Opening Night was a huge hit and as I sat all the way up in the VIP lounge my heart thumped away at the thought of finally speaking to her again.The top floor had been reserved for the crème de la crème of society while the ground floor was covered with swarming bodies and gyrating hips.Neon lights, sweat, alcohol and a Justin Bieber song attacked my senses but that wasn't what had my attention.From my place on top I was watching her. I was aware how slightly serial killer-y I was being right now but I couldn't stop myself.Every little action she made — from the bouncing of her rainbow-colored ponytail as she shook her head to the way she gripped her pink headphones — drew me closer to her to the point where I almost drooled. She affected me so much even from afar. It was just too bad that that darned mask prevented me from fully
I don't usually put content alerts but I thought it would be a good idea to include one here.This chapter may contain triggering content!There is abuse and hintings of rape.Please read at your own discretion.• • •The air was wonderful against my face.We were seated on the roof of an abandoned building with the magnificent skyline before us.Tonight had been a bust.Sure I'd been able to make enough to pay off the rent but I could still feel the strong fingers clutching my arm like a vice.I could still feel the warm mouth travel against my neck, the teeth grazing my skin. I could still feel the unwanted hand slide between my legs.I had a fierce temp
Morgan was frisky today as he walked in front of me on his leash.I took a bite of my bagel and wished I'd brought a coat or something because it was unusually windy today.It was Saturday and I didn't have to worry about my day job because Carson usually took a trip to God knows where on Saturdays to come back on Sunday and hole himself up until Monday. I was strangely worried about him but I wouldn't even dare call or text. After last night I was glad that ‘Alex’ didn't have to see him for a while because that'd be all kinds of awkward. On my part at least, he had no freaking clue.The sun was slowly rising up as Alicia Keys' singing in my ears gave a little pep to my step.I would've stopped to savor this fine day but Morgan was so hell bent on reaching our destination quickly that he was the one leading me with the leash.“Alright, alright!” I
I was using my phone, sipping a milkshake and half-listening to Diana ramble on about her father when the text came in.It was an address but that wasn't what my mind was focused on. She'd texted me.She texted me.After her perfunctory reply last night I was pretty sure I'd blown my chance sky-high. I mean when a woman refers to you — not once, or twice for that matter — as a serial killer/stalker you kinda know you're not making any good headway with her.She followed it with a ‘don't be late’ and a rainbow emoji that made me smile. I knew I was going to be late because I was all the way in Tuscany but I was going to go. Even though it was clearly a party and people would be there.“And you know we're twins, so why on earth does he prefer her over me?” Diana asked skipping through the racks of clothing that'd been rolled into her room.
A million thoughts ran through my head on the drive to the hospital.Foremost of them was the thought that I was doing the wrong thing.I mean, what exactly was I doing? I had no plan, no idea what I was going to say to this woman I had never met that would convince her to give me the whereabouts of her daughter, no backup. Nothing.Even if by some miracle this encounter did pan out and I did find out where Alex went, then what? Do I just show up? And say what?After that last night I had a feeling she would not appreciate my unexpected presence in her life. She was probably moving on and healing right this minute.A lump of despair and pain settled in my stomach.Gripping the steering, I tried to reign in my rapidly spiraling thoughts.One thing at a time, Carson. One thing at a time.First I needed to find her. After I made sure she was safe and sound and not in any sort of danger I would then figure out how to approach her and fix whatever I broke.With something that resembled a p
Goodbye Carson.Goodbye Carson.Goodbye Carson.Those two words had been stuck on repeat in my head after the disaster that was last night.I had barely recovered from the shock that the woman of my dreams was actually my unassuming assistant when she'd told me she was leaving for God knows where.After I got home I fell into a fitful sleep before I couldn't take it anymore and broke one of her rules. I called her number.Unfortunately it didn't even ring or go to voicemail. There was nothing. And now I was back to square one.“Sir,” a tiny voice and a snap of fingers brought me back to the present.I was in my office, a mound of work on my desk and the frightened blue eyes of my new assistant peering at me as she clutched a brown styrofoam coffee cup like it had the power to protect her from me.Mary — or Marion, I wasn't exactly sure what her name was — was my second assistant since Alex had left. I had fired Helen over the phone sometime last night after I called to ask about my sc
All he did was stare.For the five minutes since I let go of my mask he'd been staring at me with an expression that looked worryingly like that of an electrocuted individual.I was starting to feel squirmy under his gobsmacked gaze.“Please say something,” I urged.The sound of my voice seemed to thaw him a little and he rightened his slacked jaw.“I don't understand,” he started after a while. “So you're telling me that all this time, this whole time, it was you?”I swallowed. My courage had started to fail me.“I can explain . . .”“I am so fucking confused,” he continued as if I hadn't said anything. “So you're telling me that this whole time it's . . . you've . . . God, I'm so confused.”He started rubbing his temples the way I'd seen him do after a long day at his desk.“I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to go as far as it went, truly.”“Why?” he asked all of a sudden. “Why make me believe you were someone else? Why pretend? Why me?”I hated that my eyes had filled of their own ac
I didn't think that I would be so happy to see the neon lights of an ice cream shop.After a particularly horrid day at work with my new dunderhead of a PA, Helen, I was more than ready to stamp down whatever discordant feelings I had for the brightly colored shop and accept all the bizareness it offered with open arms.I locked my car and started up to the shop with my hands stuck in the pockets of my leather jacket.My heart was racing at the thought of finally seeing her after a very difficult four weeks.As I got to the door I had to wait for a young couple to exit before I could enter.The raven-haired woman held an ice cream cone in one hand and her boyfriend in the other and she was laughing. They were both laughing.I stood there and watched as they turned a corner and disappeared.It was only after they were gone that I realized that I wanted that. I was ready for that.I never thought that I would but for the first time in my life I wanted a serious relationship. With someon
I woke up with a steady thumping in my head. Like someone was going crazy with a drum kit plugged into an amplifier.It took all the energy I could summon just to open my eyes, at this point I couldn't even imagine moving.As I surveyed my surroundings I realized that I wasn't in my apartment, in fact I didn't recognize any of the decor. The deep aquamarine wallpaper with the matching curtains and the complimentary paintings on the wall were all totally strange to me.I groaned as I tried to remember how and why I ended up in an unfamiliar bedroom, with only soft blue-green sheets covering my body.Nothing came to me past the agonizing throbbing in my skull.One thing was clear even with my limited thinking faculties: somewhere between yesterday and this morning I had made a terrible mistake. And even though the woman — God, how I hoped it was a woman because I
“Duuude!” came a jovial voice from the door of my gym.As I was lying face-up on the bench I couldn't see who it was so I continued my strenuous workout with the weights.My muscles burned as I raised and lowered the heavy barbell but I welcomed the pain and continued.Soon not only the steel bar and the geometric pattern of the ceiling was in my line of sight. The upside-down image of a head of brown hair and a raised dark eyebrow had entered the mix.“Didn't you hear me call you?” Casper asked.“I hardly . . . think my mother . . . named me dude,” I puffed out, slightly miffed that my exercise regime had been interrupted.“What? Dude, you're not being intelligible right now.”Finally giving in to the irritation that Casper brought I slammed the barbell on the rack and sat up.“The fuck are you doing in my house?” I heaved as I tried to catch my breath.“I came to check up on you, find out what's going on. Man, the ladies miss the ol' C-train! When are you getting back out there?”“A
“I honestly have no idea what to do. He's still at this and I think I might be losing my mind,” I complained to my friends.“There's no need to worry, sweetie. He'll let it go soon,” Inés stroked my arm soothingly.“That's what you said last Sunday and it's another week now!”I put my face in my hands.It had been precisely two weeks since Carson started on his quest to find Butterfly and he was going nowhere fast even with a PI.I remembered the conversation with Big Mac like it was yesterday.I was pacing my office when the door opened and the beefy, massive form of Stanley MacIntosh entered with his signature half-moon smile and unruly mop of ginger curls.Big Mac was what he was affectionately known as to the people in Miller Inc. who used his services. Despite his intimidating size he was really
“You don't have to say you love me, I just wanna tell you something, lately you've been on my mind,” I sang to Carmine as I entered my favorite Starbucks.His bushy eyebrows knitted together. “Wow, I don't think I know that one.”“Come on, Carmine,” I urged as I leaned on the counter. “You can't just give up without giving it a try. Come on.”“Ok. Let's see. That sounds really romantic, so, Bruno Mars?”“What? No! Harry Styles, bitch.”“Ah,” he nodded. “I wasn't even close.”“Adore You. One of my personal favorites.”Carmine nodded again. “So, where you been, Alex? I haven't seen you in a while, thought you started getting your coffee someplace else,” he drummed his slender fingers on the table and nervously looked around.
Prying my eyes open with a groggy groan, I reached out to the other side of my bed and felt nothing but the soft sheets.Rubbing my eyes I blinked rapidly and looked again.It was empty and this time my brain was awake enough to tell me that something was wrong.Sitting up, I looked toward the balcony where the sun was slowly making its way up in the sky but there was no sign of the majestic woman I'd spent the night wrapped around.Last night was the single best sex I had ever had in my life. It was both wild and rapturous and I did not know that it could ever be that enjoyable.Putting on a pair of black sweatpants I ran a hand through my already messy hair and went off to find Butterfly.As it turned out I didn't have to go far because as soon as I reached the stairs I caught a few strains of music coming from downstairs.Following the sound I found mys