The Beginning

Another Monday morning when I didn't even want to be alive; okay, maybe I'm being too literal, actually I just didn't want to get out of my bed and face crowded buses again to go to work in that place that only brought me stress... at twenty-one years old I was in the first job, for those who saw me it seemed to be the dream job but it was very different from that, it was almost a modern system of slavery; It had been almost two years since I had been working at a travel agency earning half the minimum wage, with no time for lunch, vacations or holidays, every day I was forced to answer calls from stressed customers, some of them extremely rude and the fact that that money was never enough and my hair was falling out more and more and my weight was increasing when I barely ate, it made me closer to throwing everything away without thinking about anything else. Maybe that day was today.

I got up lazily from the bed, and my stomach turned over when I felt the good smell coming from the kitchen, Pedro was there doing one more of his perks, Rafa, on the other hand, was ready and well-groomed, as always, sitting at the table enjoying what our friend had done.

— Good morning, your majesty, did you decide to wake up? - Pedro mocked as soon as he saw me cross the room walking towards them. — you should be ready by now.

"I'm going to resign. — I said taking a cup in hand and helping myself to the coffee set at the table that made me wake up and my stomach complained of hunger even more; Rafa spit the drink at Pedro in a rush and he glared at her.

"Oh my God!" - he yelled going towards the sink to clean his coffee-smeared arm.

- You are crazy? - Rafa almost shouted staring at me like I was an idiot.

— No, I'm tired of that place, and I've decided, today I resign.

— Are you forgetting that the three of us are living together in this hell of an apartment and we share the expense?" I'm not going to pay your share, no, you can fight. — exclaimed my friend, it was incredible how he used irony in absolutely everything, even when he was angry.

I undid my pose of serenity and covered my face with my hands, stifling the scream of exasperation that followed; no, I would not resign, even if I wanted to, I couldn't, I had moved to the capital almost two years ago with the intention of getting a better job than the options they had in our small town, Rafa, who is my sister, accompanied me soon after, after a few months; we shared the apartment with Pedro, my best friend, agreeing that we would split the expenses and we lived well like that; our parents didn't have to worry about spending money on us now and as long as we looked good and visited them on the weekends everything was fine.

Rafa glared at me with disdain and Pedro rolled his eyes.

- “She won't do it.

- Ridiculous! said Pedro, serving me one of his pancakes that almost made me change my mood.

-No, I won't; that would mean having to go back to our parents' house, and it would be shameful for me to give them expenses again when they are so proud of their daughters' independence in the capital, when in fact, only one of us brings real pride; Rafa has a good job and goes to college and I have a shitty job where I work for two and earn half the salary of one... to make up for it my hair is falling out and I'm gaining more and more weight and that is certainly from all the stress and I don't even have money to see a psychologist.

— How does a person wake up already complaining about life like that? Sometimes you forget the things to be grateful for, look at the bad side of everything too much! said Rafa, and even if she was right, I don't think a dose of optimism would change the situation.

- Look, I don't want to know anything else!- Tonight my friend is going to come here and I don't want this low depressive mood scaring him away.

Pedro's comment was exactly what I needed to forget my dilemmas, Rafa and I looked at each other accomplices and stared at him carefully, he kept watching us as if he didn't understand our conspiratorial gaze.

- What is it?

- Friend and? I arched an eyebrow asking him.

— Oh, how nosy of you, look, he's going to come here so we can talk and ... well, just pretend you're normal and don't embarrass me, please!

Rafa got up, stopping behind Pedro and humming:

- It's love...

I saw him chase her around the apartment furiously with the wooden spoon in his hand, and that was part of our routine.

He was blushing and in a few times I saw my friend like that, I knew him enough to know that that visit meant something to him and I was happy and at the same time scared, I didn't want him to get hurt, I've seen him fall so many times that I've lost count and it didn't matter how many there were, I would be there and piece together pieces if necessary, but I really hoped that this time, it wasn't.

As usual, I got ready quickly and in a few seconds I was ready, a beautiful slave of modern society heading towards her slaughter, Pedro and Rafa had already left for their respective jobs, Rafa had got an internship at a veterinary clinic where she worked part-time and Pedro worked in a pharmacy, their gift was living close to work, unlike me who had to go to the bus stop every single day and wait for the sardine carrier of humans that would take me to the place that sucked all my strength.

I sat on the bench at the bus stop, while a gentleman approached with a cigarette in his hands, I frowned at the same moment, there was nothing I hated more than being a passive smoker; I saw the bus approaching and I never felt so happy about it, I got up from the seat and narrowed my eyes, forcing myself to see if it was the right one, but my myopia did not allow me to have that information until the bus got too close and made me wither when realizing that it was not my destiny, but luckily, it was the human chimney that shared the bench with me.

I breathed a sigh of relief for finally inhaling only the impurities of the city air.

I ran my eyes quickly around the stopped bus, which was waiting for passengers to get on; the human chimney walked slowly down the aisle of the bus and I could only feel sorry for whoever sat next to him, finally he took a seat and I saw sitting by the window, next to him a very familiar face that I thought would be a mirage if it wasn't for the brown eyes that recognized me and stared at me for a few seconds until a smile formed on his face the bus started and my eyes stayed there seeing the image of him waving while he was already far from my field of vision; but I didn't have time to deduce if it had been real or just a mirage of my subconscious because my bus arrived soon after, full as usual, making me squeeze in the middle of the people there