Packing was a pain in my ass. Never, in my life, have I ever packed a single box. Never. I had grown up in this house and we never moved. My parents had lived in this house for years before I ever came along and they had accumulated so much sh*t it was hard to even know what to pack to take with me and what to donate or throw away.
I started with my dad's office because I knew he wouldn't need anything in it anymore but it turned out to be the worst decision I had ever made.My dad had secrets that he kept that I had never known about and it was hard to even wrap my head around. When I rifled through his desk, I found things I wished I hadn't found before.There were thongs stuffed in drawers and business cards to strip clubs around the strip. There were like trading card-type things with raunchy women on the card that he collected and napkins with kiss marks and phone numbers. He had pictures of himself with his face in between a stripper's cleavage andNow we were all laying in my livingroom, exhausted from the long day of packing boxes. I had Chloe, her boyfriend, Michael, Art Blonde and James here, helping pack boxes and celebrate my birthday with me.I was laying against James, half asleep. Chloe and her boyfriend were making out on the couch and making a lot of noises and Michael and Art Blonde were arguing about which Lord of the Rings Movie was the best.Don't ask me why Art Blonde was even here when I knew she acted my guys, but it was mostly because of Michael. I glanced at James as he ran his fingers through my hair and smiled."You tired?""I'm pooped.""Me too. Did you like your gift?"I grinned and nodded. James had gotten me a hoodie and a locket necklace with a tiny picture of one of my ultrasounds on one side and a goofy picture of him and I kissing on the other.It was nice and I had it on now, along with my new hoodie.Chloe got me a new pair
After the declaration of love, I felt like I couldn't get enough of him. James and I were glued to the hip, everywhere we went. We found a small apartment that fit what I needed and he helped me get the paperwork started on it.To be honest, without James there, I had no idea how I could have done any of it by myself. The paperwork itself had so many words that I didn't care to read, but James did. So, there was a bright side to getting yourself a brainiac as a boyfriend.And that's what he was to me. He had finally, officially asked me on the night of my birthday after we had that crazy amazing sex, and told me he loved me for the first time. Every time I thought back to it, I would feel the butterflies erupt in my stomach. It was either that or perfectly timed indigestion. Or the baby that was growing inside of me. And it was growing. I had several appointments scheduled for it. One with my normal ob/gyn, one with a heart specialist, and one with more e
I stared up at the screen in front of me and grinned. Seeing the baby look more like a baby than an alien felt pretty damn good. The technician getting all of the measurements, smiled as she showed us the baby's finger and toes. James grinned widely and his mom squeezed his shoulder with a small smile."Okay. I will get these to the doctor and she will come back in. Also, she will be able to tell you the gender of the baby today if you'd like?"I glanced at James and he raised his eyebrows. He glanced down at me and waited for me to answer."Do you want to know?" I asked him.He nodded and I nodded at the technician. She nodded slowly, then walked out of the room. James' mom clapped her hands excitedly and James couldn't wipe the grin off of his face. Hell, I couldn't either. This was happening. We were having a baby and we were going to get to know the sex. We waited patiently for the doctor to come in and when she did she grinned
We went back to my house to start moving some of my stuff to a storage building, since my apartment wasn't ready yet and my uncle was dead set on getting the house sold sooner, rather than later.I wasn't allowed to do much as Michael, James and Jordan loaded up vehicles full of my crap to take to the building I had rented. The big furniture that couldn't go with us I had put little signs on them with a price for an estate sale that I was going to do.On my mom's orders, I even put to sell a whole bunch of her designer purses and shoes. A bunch of this money was going to help with our move and with mom's continued rehab after she got out of jail.We would hold the sale over the weekend before the real estate agent would start having open houses for the place. I continued to put prices on things as they took sh*t to storage. My stuff was going to be taken to James' house until my apartment was ready.When they were done for the day and we went back
We were about halfway moved into my apartment. I had most of my stuff and James had some of his stuff moved in. I felt kind of giddy, knowing that I had a place to myself and James was going to stay with me. I looked around at all of the boxes and grinned. I ran a hand over my belly and felt our baby kick and I grinned.She was beginning to be more active and even James was beginning to feel her move around. We still were a week away from her appointment with the heart specialist, so I was still worried about that, but moving got my mind off of it for the most part."Where do you want this box?" Jordan wiped some sweat off of his forehead with his arm and held up a box that simply said my name. I sighed. James had marked all of my stuff with my name and all of my mom's stuff with hers, but I found kitchen stuff in one of my boxes, so I didn't even know anymore. "Anywhere will be fine."He went to the small living room and placed that bo
Spontaneous abortion. That's what they were calling what happened to my baby. The mild cramps, the peeing myself, the back pain, all of it was my body telling me that my baby was no longer alive. Or maybe it was telling me to save it. Either way, guilt was the foremost feeling I had. I lay in the hospital bed and stared up at the ceiling with stinging eyes. I had cried so hard when they told me and now I couldn't even cry anymore. I cried myself dry. I should have told James I didn't feel good. I should have just gone to the doctor as soon as I started feeling those minuscule cramps. I thought hard about the last movements I felt from her and hated myself for not knowing. I hated myself for letting her die. James squeezed my hand, but I couldn't even look him in the face. He had cried a little, but he didn't know how bad it was. He didn't know that I probably could have prevented it. I took my hand from his and wiped at
When they released me later, I walked slowly, feeling my stomach cramp up as I walked. James wrapped his arm around my waist and walked with me slowly. Marlene had sent one of the other teenagers to the apartment for some extra clothes for me, so I was wearing a pair of James grey sweatpants and a sweatshirt that I had brought with me from school.I couldn't even remember where I had gotten it, but James said I had been clutching it when the EMTs had wheeled me out.I laid in the backseat of Marlene's van with my head in James' lap as she took us home to the apartment. Jordan or Justice had already driven James' car home, so we didn't have to go back.Once at home, Marlene moved around the apartment, trying to find comfortable blankets and other stuff that was still lost in the mess of boxes we had. James helped me lay down in bed and while she flitted around, I pretended to go to sleep so that I didn't have to talk to anyone. It was during the b
The days slogged on slowly. After two days of staying home, I was allowed back at school but it was so hard. People looked at me and whispered about me and what happened.My breasts leaked with milk, which surprised the sh*t out of me when I woke up one morning with sore breasts that were hard as rocks. So, I had to wear breast pads at school and had to change them out every so often because my breasts would start leaking randomly. I reeked of milk by the end of my first day back and when I got home, I had to take a long hot shower to make them decompress.James tried his hardest to keep up with my mood swings and I honestly felt so bad for being sh*tty to him, but I couldn't help myself. I would cry randomly for no reason and most times I just wanted to sleep.Chloe would come from time to time and try to keep me company, but it was hard listening to her talk about mindless gossip about Alicia and Dexter and how they broke up again because he was caught c