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Chapter twelve
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2021-06-22 09:28:58I climb down the rickety wooden stairs and they give way to cement and brick winding their way down to the basement.
In this basement their was a feeling of real safety, a calm sanctuary, a dependable sense of home.
My foot hit the wooden floor and I smiled to myself inhaling the cold and dank air. This catacomb had walls of a castle, string grey rock that provided the house a firm foundation.
What made me happy was the solitude. Down here I could be alone and happy like I always wanted without anyone breaking into my small space and energy and sucking me out of it. No one would guess j was here or come looking for me. The grey walls provided great company and soon I was afraid I would start taking to the walls.
However I was wrong. Because the devil always squeezes themselves into cracks inoder to get through to a person.
&n
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I wake up with a jolt and find myself outside under the moonlight. I scream harder as I take in my environment confused. Their is a rustle of grass behind me and I take off again to God knows where crying. I could feel the flight responses in me kick in, increasing my heart rate flooding me with added adrenaline " Twain! Wait it is me Steve," " Am with you stop running," I can't hear the words and I'm thrown off balance landing on the ground. " Twain, I need you to listen, this is Steve, we are here for mini camping we are together," he continues trying to steady his breath and calm the panic in his veins. " You need to breathe, you are hyperventilating." " That monster in your dreams is not real, you are here with me." After some time my breath comes back to normal and I try tearing myself away from Steve. He is hesita
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You ever experienced that part where you lick ice cream and it melts down your fingers.Its the sweetest feeling but deep down you Know it is short lived because as soon as the ice is over, the feeling of ecstasy will be fine with it. Well, let's call it that, we never went to clubs again. But we spent every day together. I rarely slept alone except on rare nights when he went out with friends. And even when he did we would talk the whole night and he would call drunk saying he missed me. I know you think it's a happy ending. No it is not. We never made anything official. We just clung to each other like our whole life depended on it. And still, we never had sex again. All he did was hug me and cuddle on most of the time. And he would kiss my forehead goodnight. It was my kind of perfect. Well perfect until. Perfect is overrated. As usual
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I dialled Elaine's phone several times and it just kept ringing. She was Mama's favorite child and she of all people shouldn't be off. The campus had just been closed down yesterday due to the covid 19 pandemic, when I was still mourning a relationship that never existed. I slapped myself in the head three times forcing my anxiety, distress and emotions to work together with me and solve the current issue. I could fix my broken heart alone but I can't fix Mama's illness so she can get well. I felt bad at myself remembering the earphones incident at the hospital when I couldn't hear her calling me. Dear God, just this once help mama get well, I prayed frantically.
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" She's an angry child. Sometimes I try to understand her but it feels like I lost her long ago. She won't talk or show emotion. She won't even play with other kids and hides from them. Even after I came back she couldn't admit to loving me, her own mother. I don't know what really happened to her or changed her those few years when I was away." " Have you ever thought about seeking closure and talking to her, you know, about her childhood," her friend asked. " No, " " Maybe you should apologize for what you did and tell her the truth, because she could go down the same path." She was just a child, she can't remember, and I have changed, I'm making up for my mi
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