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9| Decisions
Last Updated:
2023-11-30 04:55:14Related chapters
Toxic Paradise 10| Taco Night
Once I was settled, Ryan and I reconvened in the living room. We were both sitting on the sectional, debating what we wanted to do with our night. Alec still had not returned, and honestly, I was wondering where he went with such a large dog... but since he was gone, we decided to just hang around the house. We were both tired from travel, so the consensus was to order Mexican food and make margaritas.Ryan ordered from a local Mexican restaurant. I couldn't make up my mind about what I wanted to get, so he took it upon himself to order for us both. In about an hour or so, I'd be stuffing my face full of guacamole, elote, and a wide assortment of tacos—chicken, beef, fish, etc; you name it, Ryan ordered it. Not that I would complain about the excessive amount of food—I thoroughly enjoyed eating.After we ordered, Ryan lead me to the kitchen to make margaritas. I perched myself up on my knees on one of the bar stools as I fumbled with the tequila, removing the cap. I watched as Ryan mo
Last Updated : 2023-12-01Toxic Paradise 11| Grilled cheese
After sleeping for what felt like forever, I woke up dying of thirst.The clock informed me that it was only 2:30 AM. I hadn't actually been sleeping for very long, and I mentally scolded myself for not getting a water to put on my nightstand before turning in for the night. I debated just dealing with my thirst until the morning, but my dry mouth and throat were screaming at me to get up.I blamed it on the salty tacos and pitchers of margaritas.I also blamed my lack of balance on the margaritas as well. It didn't take me long to realize that I was definitely still drunk as I eased myself up from my bed and crossed the dark bedroom. I fumbled with my phone to turn on the flashlight as I made my way silently down the hallway and into the kitchen. I thought about turning on a light, but I really didn't want to wake up Ryan— or worse, Alec— or even worse, his dog. I could just see it now, a giant Newfie barking at me as an angry, handsome Alec glares in my direction after being woken u
Last Updated : 2023-12-04Toxic Paradise 12| Just Married
"Jayyyynnnaaa!" A melodious voice boomed from beside me, "Wakeeee upppp!"Just then, the curtains were pulled open and bright beams of sunlight were striking me in the face. I rolled over, facing the other way and pulling the duvet over my head.I felt the bed dip beside me, and I knew that Ryan had crawled onto the bed with me. He placed his large palms on my back, shaking me with force and trying to pull the blankets off of me. "Ughhhhhhhh..." I groaned from underneath the covers. "Ryannn 5 more minutes, pleassseee.""Hellll to the no. It's already 9:30," he replied, "You're not a morning person, are you?""Not in the slightest," I replied, still refusing to open my eyes. "But Jaynnaaa, I got something for us!" He whined, "Plus, I made breakfast, and it's ready!"At the mention of food, I finally pulled the blankets off of myself, ready to become an actual human again. I opened my eyes to see Ryan sitting beside me, holding something behind his back with a smile already on his fac
Last Updated : 2023-12-05Toxic Paradise 13| Excursions
The drive to the resort was quick, and it wasn't long before we pulled up to the most classic looking, beautiful resort. I was admiring the way the sun reflected off my fake diamond ring when we arrived at the front. Although the look of Ryan's home was surprising to me, this resort looked exactly how I pictured it in my mind.The driveway wrapped around the front of the building, where valet drivers were patiently waiting to park our car. The building was lined with palm trees, and rows of tropical, beautiful flowers. I could feel the warm breeze as I exited the car, taking with it the smell of salt in the air. Excitement took over again knowing that the beach was just on the other side of this tall, white building."Come along, dear," Ryan teased, hooking a strong arm around my waist and guiding me into the building.I chuckled as I followed along, "Oh honey, this place is just beautiful." Ryan shifted so his arm was hanging over my shoulder while I curled slightly into his muscled
Last Updated : 2023-12-06Toxic Paradise 14| Conquests (pt. 1)
Oh no... no... no... no... hellll noooo.....My mind chanted over and over while I stood trembling in the middle of a footbridge. Ryan and I had decided to tandem jump, thank God, but that still didn't change the fact that I was terrified. The bungee operators assured both Ryan and I that this would be a great experience to really bring us closer together and solidify our marriage. Ryan continued to play up the fact that we were married throughout the process, talking with the operators about how we had met on a ferris wheel, and how he, the man, offered to ride with me after seeing how afraid I was of heights. His story was cute, and completely made up. However, I was surprised at how realistic the scenario actually was. Ryan didn't know this, but I actually was scared of heights, and I always avoided ferris wheels because of this. I was sure he'd become very aware of this fact soon enough, if we lived through this experience.Truthfully, I loved the whole charade Ryan had going, bu
Last Updated : 2023-12-07Toxic Paradise 15| Conquests (pt. 2)
We didn’t have to wait long for the two men to approach our table. "Hey fellas, welcome! Take a seat," Ryan greeted, motioning for them to take the two empty chairs. "I ordered a bottle of wine for the table, hope that's okay.""That sounds great, Ryan," the first man spoke. This was the man Ryan was trying to pursue. He was very cute close up. He wasn't super tall; taller than me, but definitely shorter than Ryan. He had a slim figure, tan skin, and bright blonde hair. "Hey," he said locking his eyes on me, "I'm Chris, and this is my friend, Josh."I smiled back at Chris, "Hey guys, I'm Jayna. It's nice to meet you both.""Jayna?" Josh chimed in from beside me, "That's a pretty name. Never heard it before."I couldn't help but smile at his compliment. Josh was cute. He also had blonde hair that was a bit darker than Chris's, and he had pale skin with a slight sunburn. I didn't think he was overly attractive because he wasn't really my type, but I thought he had kind eyes and a great
Last Updated : 2023-12-07Toxic Paradise 16| Cock Block
"Alec, what the hell! I thought you were sleeping," I yelled. Although I was shouting, I wasn't sure if he could even hear me over the sound of Nelson's barking.He smirked, "I'm not.""Clearly," I snapped, "Can you please contain your dog?""Ooooo, I actually can't do that. When Nelson doesn't like someone, it's hard to stop him; I mean, do you see the size of him?" Alec said, making his way to the sink to fill up his water glass."Jayna, who the hell is this guy?" Josh asked, glaring in the direction of Alec.I groaned, "He's Ryan's brother. But don't worry, he was just leaving," I emphasized loud enough so that Alec could hear me."Um, no I'm not. But please, don't let me interrupt," He said, leaning against the opposite counter. I could not believe him! I understood that we were in a public space, and if it weren't for Nelson blocking our way and looking like he was ready to attack Josh, I would have just went to my room. My issue was that he didn't need to be in the kitchen any
Last Updated : 2023-12-09Toxic Paradise 17| Aftermath
I woke up the next morning of my own accord. Ryan did not come wake me; although, when I glanced at the clock it read only 8:30. It was unlike me to be awake so early without an alarm. That's when I heard the shouting coming from the living room, and the slam of a door. I supposed the ruckus is what woke me up, and it didn't sound good.I wasn't sure if I should head out into the living room or not, but the nosey part of me won over. I threw back my covers, eagerly hopping out of bed.I stumbled a bit on my ankle, forgetting momentarily what had happened last night as I made my way to the bathroom."Oh god..." I muttered as I looked at my unkempt appearance in the mirror. After feeling the soreness of my ankle and seeing the bandaid on my elbow, the events of last night came rushing back. I had scared off a perfectly decent guy, accidentally flashed Alec, and then ungracefully pancaked out onto the floor. Could I have been any more of an embarrassing human?After finger-combing my hai
Last Updated : 2023-12-11
Latest chapter
Toxic Paradise Epilogue (pt. 2)
Unfortunately, I didn't get to spend much time with Alec between the wedding and dinner, since the wedding party had to take pictures. I was able to see him just long enough for him to give me his jacket, and a quick kiss, before he headed to the bar. I told him not to get too drunk until I got back, but who even knew with him. He went crazy for free alcohol… as did I. It was awkward taking so many pictures with David by my side. But, he and I were civil, and as promised, I was there for him during the hard times with his mother. She was currently getting treatment, and so far she seemed to be responding well. There haven’t been any new tumors, and most of the original ones were gone or shrinking. We definitely had high hopes for her, and his family seemed to he doing quite well all things considered. Alec was also surprisingly cool about my role in David's life; after I explained it all, he understood and supported me being there for him as a friend. Albeit a distant friend- but
Toxic Paradise Epilogue (pt. 1)
6 months had passed since that night at my apartment. I still couldn't believe how fast the 6 months had gone by since Alec and I decided to officially be together. I'm not exaggerating when I say that this could have been the best 6 months of my life. For the first few months, Alec and I had a long distance relationship, and honestly, it wasn't always easy. I loved Alec, but he still knew how to push my buttons just as he always had, and I couldn't help but get under his skin sometimes too. The distance made this even more irritating since we were getting plenty of the banter and not enough of the physical connection.Sometimes, I would think that the distance was just too much, but then, he would show up at my apartment. He always had the timing perfect. It was like, when I was feeling like I needed him, he was always there. Maybe he felt the same way about me too in those moments; I liked to believe we were connected in that way. Occasionally, if he had to work, he would fly me o
Toxic Paradise 68| Worth Fighting For
Oh god, I freaked out, pushing against Alec's chest to move him further into the hallway... this was the worst timing ever. I followed him out, my hand still on his chest as I closed the door behind me. "Alec... what are you doing here?" I managed to ask. My heart was thudding so hard in my chest I was starting to worry about my health. It had been less than 2 weeks since I left Siesta Key, but damn... I missed him so much. He was so handsome, and as per usual, he smelled so good; so familiar. I just wanted to throw my arms around him and forget about our fight; forget about the fact that he walked away from me; and forget about the fact that David was down on one knee just on the other side of my door. But, the angry and confused look on Alec's face stopped me from doing what I wanted. "Well..." he said, "I guess it doesn't really matter why I'm here now." "Of course it matters!" I said, "Should I ask David to leave?" All I wanted in this moment was to have him tell me "yes." I
Toxic Paradise 67| Mistakes
As David sauntered into my place, I couldn't help but to be irritated by how easily he made himself comfortable. He shrugged off his jacket, took off his shoes, and headed right to the couch as if he was welcome here; as if he was still my boyfriend. The most irritating part, was how he patted an open palm on the couch cushion beside him, inviting me to sit down, as if it wasn't my own freaking couch!I took a deep breath to push back my irritation before wandering into the living room. Instead of sitting beside him though, I perched awkwardly on the arm of the couch on the way opposite side, plopping my fluffy, bunny-slipper, feet right onto the cushion. I crossed my hands over my chest as I waited for him to say something. There was an awkward moment of silence as we just stared at each other. Normally, I would have swooned at that look. The one he was giving me right now used to be one of my favorites. That was one of my favorite things about David. When he looked at me, he made m
Toxic Paradise 66| Alec (pt. 2)
Alec’s POV:I relayed my entire story, the way I had when I was with Jayna that night in her bed. If I was being honest- it was a lot easier to tell Jayna than it was for me to tell my story right now. Telling Ryan was brutal; he listened, but I could see the hurt on his face. He felt betrayed by our parents—his dad in particular. I never wanted to hurt Ryan- that’s why I had hid everything from him all these years. "Wow... for once I honestly don't know what to say," Ryan finally replied."I told you. This is why I didn't want to say anything. You work with your dad. The two of you have been close your entire life, and I don't want to get in the way of that,” I explained, leaning back in my chair as if a heavy weight had just been lifted from my shoulders. "Yeah... I'm not gonna lie, it hurts to realize that the man you've looked up to your entire life is nothing but a giant asshole. But... I'm also pissed as hell that you felt you couldn't tell me this before!" "I..." I tried to
Toxic Paradise 65| Alec (pt. 1)
Alec's POV:"Fucking idiots," I thought as I had to tell my co-worker that his microphone was muted for the 10th time today.In his defense, everything had been pissing me off lately. I had gotten home over a week ago and still, Jayna was on my mind constantly. It was irritating as hell. I couldn't stop thinking about her scent, the feel of her small body safe in my arms, and the crazy thoughts that came out of her mouth. I tried everything to move on, and I thought it would be easy, but it hasn't been. I was even having trouble with sex... and I never had trouble with sex. I had tried multiple times and with several women, but I just couldn't get turned on. Even some of my regular hook-ups just weren't doing it for me any more; not unless I pretended they were Jayna.And it pissed me off. I knew she was probably back with her ex...whatever the fuck his name was...Dean? Derek? Dipshit? I supposed it didn't really matter. What mattered was that he probably had his undeserving hands
Toxic Paradise 64| Alone Together
I cried the rest of the night. As I packed the rest my stuff, the vacation house felt so different. It didn't have the inviting warmth and fun atmosphere that it had when Ryan was here; or the intimacy that I felt here alone with Alec. It just felt cold, empty, and impersonal.I couldn't believe that after all of this, after everything that has happened, I was leaving paradise feeling more broken and humiliated than when I arrived. It was a long, depressing flight back, but I finally made my way up the stairs and back to my familiar apartment. It's crazy how living in Chicago, you could be surrounded by tons of people, yet feel so incredibly alone. That's how I felt. Completely alone... again. I wheeled my suitcase through my apartment, which Maddie had been taking care of for me, so it actually was clean and warm when I arrived. I stopped for a minute to look out at the Chicago skyline, taking a deep breath before heading into my bedroom. I left my suitcase in the corner and out
Toxic Paradise 63| Text From the Ex (pt. 2)
Dinner was phenomenal. I'm talking 3 course, fancy drinks, beautiful presentation... phenomenal. At this point, I'd say the only downfall was that it's impossible to feel sexy with a literal food baby. I named him Trevor. Alec and I were in his bed now, my head laying on his warm chest while his hand lazily brushed the bare skin on my arm. "I don't want you to leave tomorrow," he said, breaking the silence."I know," I let out a sigh. "I don't want to go home tomorrow either, but I need to. It's time I get my life back on track." He smiled, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. "As long as I get to be a part of that life from now on." I sat up, leaning down to plant another kiss on his full lips. "Well, that's a given." I placed a palm on his chest, pushing myself up and off the bed. "I'll be back. I need to pee." He chuckled. "So ladylike you are." I took my time in the bathroom, trying to make up for my food baby by finger combing my hair and applying some of Alec's chapstick.
Toxic Paradise 62| Text From the Ex (pt. 1)
The days following our little road trip were great, and dare I say, some of the best days of my life. We had returned back to the house the next day, and our days had been full of beach time, swimming, and napping, followed by nights of hot tubbing, dining, and snuggling. Oh... and of course the sex. The mind blowing sex was definitely a huge part of our time together. Despite everything negative that Alec and done and said to me back when we were feuding, he really was sweet now. He always put me first, and I could feel myself slowly chipping away at the walls he had built up over the years. Each night we spent together, he revealed more and more of himself, and really, I couldn't ask for more than that. He was trying, and I could see the efforts. It even seemed like Alec was coming around to the idea of a relationship. I didn't want to get ahead of myself, but the way things were going with us, I couldn't help but see a future with him. Albeit a way different future than the one I
