48| Nightmares and Admissions (pt. 1)

Since we had our movie night, things had been very calm around the house. Alec and Ryan had nothing but pleasant interactions, and as for Alec and I... well... we hadn't really had any conversations of substance.

He still knew how to push my buttons just as I knew how to push his, but it seemed the toxicity of feeling like I needed to compete with him had vanished.

Still, I wished we could have finished the conversation that we started in the kitchen the other night. I had feelings for Alec. I knew that, and I was now willing to admit it to myself. But, I was dying to know if he had feelings for me as well. And... if he did... how would we move forward? How would it impact my relationship with Ryan?

I flopped down onto my bed, pulling my thick duvet up over my shoulders. Ryan and I took it easy today, heading to the beach to tan and play in the waves.

Alec didn't join us. He said he had to get some work done, and he had been shut in his room with Nelson all day. Either way... it had