CALUM
Cathy is hardly awake by the time the car drives into the familiar streets of Wells. The best I can do is haul our bags. Sadly, I have to watch my girl trot up the stairs on wobbly feet when she should be nestled in my arms and carried up to her room. Our long kisses, hugs on the way home feel like nothing now we have to face reality.It’s time for us to stop hiding.
Pete’s car is parked out front. I flash my image on the window a smile and rehearse a few lines in my head. Mum should also be home. She’s the real issue, the person we need to convince.
Cathy halts at the top of the front stairs without opening the door. Quickening my pace to find out the problem, I’m smothered in a tight hug. Her eyes well with tears, she sniffs and throws me a smile. Questions hang on the tip of my tongue as she unlocks the door. I follow behind but slow down to see what caught her interest.
Our parents cuddled on the co
I feel funny. My mouth has a weird, bitter taste and my head hurts. I slept all through the night with no memory of Calum coming in but it still feels like I haven’t had enough sleep. On my knees, I groan into the pillow. We should have returned home on Saturday so I could have gotten an extra day to sleep in.A knock goes off outside the door. I mumble into my pillow and the door creaks open. If it’s open, then Calum must have spent the night with me.I hear a click, then heavy footsteps before I’m pulled into my baby’s arms. “Are you okay?”Without opening my eyes, I know he’s peering down at me with a dent between his brows and his lips puckered. I nod but it only increases the pounding in my head. Bile jumps to my throat, and I scoot out of Calum’s laps. It’s a race against myself to get to the bathroom without throwing up on myself.And I make it right in time. Crumbling to the t
By Tuesday morning, I am feeling much better. Dad is the first one at my door. Yesterday was tough with him and Dani fussing so much. I pat my cheeks to give them some colour, then invite him inside. If he thinks I’m not well enough, it will be another day in the house for me. That itself isn’t bad but I miss my friends and Calum will have no excuse to stay back with me.“Hey,” Dad calls out from the door. He shuts the door with his foot and continues towards the vanity. Our blues meet in the mirror. “How do you feel now, Cathy? Any better or worse?”“Much better.” I turn around to hug him and he holds on for an extra second longer. A warning bell trips off in my head. “Are you okay, Dad?”His blues are smiling. He nods. “Why wouldn’t I be? I was just worried about my daughter.”“Okay, Dad.”Picking up my backpack strapped to the
I was nervous before taking the solo but the emotions of that day don’t compare to the fear coursing through my body right now. Oh, my God. What if I’m pregnant? I don’t want a baby. Someone taps me. I move away from the door and try to refocus my thoughts but the person taps me again. My head snaps towards the source. Amelia. I release a tired breath. She is the reason I’m in this mess. I’m not ready. “It’s time,” she says. I nod. Because what else am I supposed to say? The instructions on the kit said to wait at least five minutes before checking. Amelia slings her arm through my elbow and walks me inside the bathroom. I pause at the sink where the cup and pregnancy stick is. We share a glance. “You do it,” I tell her. She laughs. “It’s not funny.” “Yeah.” I try not to peek over Amelia’s shoulder but my curiosity gets the best of me. Two lines glare at me from the white stick and I stagger backwards until my back hits the wall. Maybe I saw wrong.A sob catches in my chest. I
“Do you really have to go today?” I ask Calum.He stops packing to sit on the edge of his bed. I stare down at my feet. I thought I could handle him leaving for a few days. But I haven’t been the same since Amelia talked about the test.We will be going to the hospital this evening.“Yeah. You know I want you to be there with me but I don’t know what to tell our parents. And you have school today.” Fuck school. He walks over to me. His hip nudges mine playfully but I don’t look up. “Baby. We can do something when I get back.”“Okay.”“Cathy, look at me.” I obey. His expression cracks. Without warning, he sweeps me off my feet and pulls me down with him to the bed. I straddle him. “Baby, what’s wrong? Superstar, I can’t leave if you’re this way.”He needs to leave so he can work on his career but my b
Calum has not called or texted. Granted, it has only been four hours since he left but that’s too much time without a word from him. He should be in London. I could text or call him to find out instead of staring at my phone. But I was the one who walked out on him. The one who locked myself in my room and didn’t step out till he was gone.Amelia had to come pick me up. We were both late because of that. I put my phone away. It’s for the best. I can focus on Girls Code while he focuses on his music. The term is almost over anyway, he will be leaving soon to his America where he can eat fries and call football soccer.It takes me less than a minute to bring out my phone. I open my WattsApp, and my heart clenches. Calum has updated his status. He is in London. I type in a long apology in reply to his status but instead of hitting the send button, I hit delete and place my phone face down on the cafeteria table.The girls should
The test came out negative.One less problem for me to worry about.Curled in bed, I hug a pillow to my chest, acting like it’s Calum and we are cool. I have been in here since I had lunch with Dani and my dad. They think I’m having a lazy Saturday. But the truth is, Calum still hasn’t called or texted to check in. Jackson hasn’t either. I wish he would so we could get his shit over with as soon as possible.What does he want?My thoughts wander to the possibilities. Fear races down my spine, and I clench my eyes shut. Jackson can’t ask for money. He can’t ask for sex. He can’t ask me to give Calum up because I won’t. I can’t do that to him.How do I know for sure that he knows a thing? He could be bluffing for all I know, fishing for information to use against me.What will he ask for?The bed vibrates. I roll over in search of my phone and anno
Calum twists in my arms so he’s facing me. He peers down at me with an intensity that strips me of my confidence. I fake a smile but he clicks his tongue. He sees through my bullshit. Telling him about Jackson won’t solve the problem. It only means two more worried people.“Is everything okay, Cathy?”“Why won’t it be?”“The least you owe me is the truth, Cathy. Don’t lie to me. I know something is up.”My arms stretch out to hug Calum but he keeps me at a distance. My lower lip trembles. I think I’m about to cry again. He runs a hand through his hair. I need to say something. Why am I not talking?“I’m here because of you,” he murmurs, his frustration evident. “Scott is mad I left, there’s so much work to be done but I’m here because I know my baby is not happy.”“Cal,” I whisper.
On Sunday morning when Calum is still asleep, I sneak into the bathroom to call Jackson. The call rings uninterruptedly for the first time, and the second time, it goes straight to voicemail. I bite my fingernails while pacing the bathroom.He might be in church with his family for morning mass. Our parents left already. Jackson’s parents oversee the Bible study group. He attends church for their sake.I dump the phone on the sink and splash water on my face. One minute later, I’m still staring at myself in the mirror.What will Jackson do?Turning my back to the mirror, I scroll through our interactions from yesterday. There’s an unread text from Jackson. The content causes a sob of relief to escape me. I clap a hand over my mouth and breathe. I’m safe now, but what happens next time?I reread the message.Jackson: you are lucky Regina showed upSo it was all about sex for h
I should have taken Calum’s suggestion of a family dinner date. As I stare at the sauce in the pan, the colour changed by the black pepper I poured in, my brows wrinkle. This is not good. I touch the spatula to my palm to have a taste. It’s not horrible nor tasty but it’s edible. Turning off the cooker, I grab the plates for dinner from the cabinet.A kick from inside my belly has both hands lowering to cup my bump. I fold the hem of my shirt to reveal my protruding belly. This pregnancy is so much easier with Calum. I have someone to bother when the midnight cravings sweep in. Grabbing the plates and tray, I dish out dinner for Mace and I. Calum will be home past his son’s bedtime, thanks to Scott and the new album the band will be releasing next month.Through the open kitchen door, I try to spy on Mace. But the curly blondie is nowhere in sight. He must be playing with the guitar his dad gifted him on his last birthday. I’m not sure I want him to follow the same path as both of his
My ring is pretty. Too pretty. I stretch my hand in front of me and wiggle my fingers. Calum is all smiles beside me, and the rest of the table have similar grins. We changed tables when everyone arrived. Two bottles of wine sit open on the table. My glass is as full as it was when we shared a toast to my future with Calum. I can’t drink or eat with all the butterflies dancing in my belly.“Now we can call you Mrs Dissick,” Lucas says. The whole table laughs. They are all dressed so formally. No suits for them but matching button-up shirts and tailored slacks. Lucas even wore proper Oxford shoes.Rose smiles, and Taylor mirrors it. They are seated side by side. She glances at Calum, her red hair whooshing as she cocks her head.“You’re about to marry your stepbrother,” she whispers. Her voice is loud and carries round the table. The table falls quiet as nervousness creeps in. She brings her glass to her lips, offers a remorseful grin and gulps the entire content down. “Cheers.” Luca
CALUMI asked Pete’s permission to marry Cathy. I also asked Mum, and she was overly excited to give her blessings. Having both parents blessings builds my anxiety. I pace the entirety of our room, my sweaty palms closing and opening. Cathy is with her friends. Mace is with his grandparents.The phone on the bed rings. I jump. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and stalk to the bed to pick up the phone. It’s a missed call from Lucas. He didn’t even let it ring. I unlock the phone as a text from him enters. Luc: stop worrying. She will say yes.I roll my eyes at my screen, but a smile tugs the corners of my lips. Cathy has no choice. She’s my wife. Walking back to the front of the mirror, I smoothen my tux and adjust my stripped tie. My curls cling to my scalp, thanks to the excess gel I applied earlier. I massage my clean-shaven jaw, and the same hand slides to the back of my neck.The last time I had to dress formally was when I was Cathy’s music teacher. I spin as the door opens
Dad’s here. Oh my God. Dad is here. Dad. Jason. Rose and Taylor. I’m vibrating with happiness, too stunned to move or react. Calum nudges me with his hip, and I snap out of it. I jump into Dad’s arms, trying to draw all four of them into a hug.Laughter rings out around me as we tear away from the group hug. Dad grins. I smile but it wanes when I notice more of his grey hairs. I pat the greying hairs at his temples and his hand covers mine. He has aged.“You came,” I say to him.“Calum arranged it,” he replies.I hug him again. Only him. My tears wet his shirt as he strokes my lower back. A tug on the hem of my top forces us to break apart.“Mama,” Mace says. Squatting to his height, I offer him a weak smile. He wipes my wet cheeks, and his lips purse. “Mama. No cry.” “No crying for Mama,” I whisper. I hear a chorus of awws and oos, but I don’t look around. Handing Mace to Calum, I take turns hugging my best friends. I hug Jason last, and I hug him the longest. He’s a huge reminder
It’s the last day of the Manchester tour. We can spend a few days before leaving. There are mixed reactions to this. I’m excited to move to another city but reluctant to leave all the memories we created here. Calum doesn’t care as long as we are by his side.“What are you thinking?” Calum asks.His lips brush the space between my boobs. Hooded eyes stare at me, causing a flip in my belly. My lips part, but my reply dies on my tongue as his hairy jaw scratches my nipple. I shiver, and he offers me a wicked grin. On some days, like today, I find it impossible to believe this man was a virgin until me. I run my fingers through the mess of his hair. His fingers dip into my warmth, teasing a little to remind me how we spent our night. I’m quickly relearning his taste.Calum is always super hyped after every performance and if I don’t get away from him as fast as possible, we will fuck in whatever space avai
Voices from outside drag me out of dreamland. I blink fast, staring at the ceiling until my mind reels to a stop. Calum’s side of the bed is empty. Same with Mace’s crib. I roll over to the other end of the bed, smiling at Mace’s empty crib. A knot twists in my belly as the memory of our late night and early morning activities flood my mind. I’m alone in the room, but my cheeks still heat up due to shyness.If Calum is not here, he must have gone to get Mace. Father and son are most likely together, bonding. I grab my phone from the nightstand. There are missed calls from Dad. After a long call with Dad, Jason, Taylor and Rose, I head into the bathroom.The boys are performing today but I’m not. As exciting as yesterday was, I need a break. Mace and I will watch from the VIP section. I wear one of Calum’s big shirts over my skimpy nightwear. Calum can hardly keep his hands to himself and he proved that last night with the numbe
I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an
CALUMIt’s today. The boys are pumped, and so am I. Cathy and I won’t share the stage but she will perform before me, giving Mace and I a front row view of her performance. But it’s impossible to savour the excitement when she’s this nervous and threatening to bore a hole into the rug with her constant pacing. I stay as close to the door as possible. The more the gap between us, the lesser Cathy’s chances of getting mad. My last attempt at trying to calm her resulted in a shoe thrown at my face. This time I’m not alone. I’m with a reinforcement. The boys were nowhere to be found but Mace had no choice. His arms and feet dangle out of the carrier strapped to my chest. Mum wanted to take him while Cathy performed but I wanted both of us to watch from backstage. He has his noise cancellation headphones so he can’t hear a thing beside the playlists I created for him. “Cathy,” I mutter when she halts before the window. No reply. I clear my throat. “Baby.” Cathy turns on her heels and s
Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens.I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.”“Hey,” Mace replies.I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks.“Good,” I reply.They wanted to show us around. The boys prac