The test came out negative.
One less problem for me to worry about.
Curled in bed, I hug a pillow to my chest, acting like it’s Calum and we are cool. I have been in here since I had lunch with Dani and my dad. They think I’m having a lazy Saturday. But the truth is, Calum still hasn’t called or texted to check in. Jackson hasn’t either. I wish he would so we could get his shit over with as soon as possible.
What does he want?
My thoughts wander to the possibilities. Fear races down my spine, and I clench my eyes shut. Jackson can’t ask for money. He can’t ask for sex. He can’t ask me to give Calum up because I won’t. I can’t do that to him.
How do I know for sure that he knows a thing? He could be bluffing for all I know, fishing for information to use against me.
What will he ask for?
The bed vibrates. I roll over in search of my phone and anno
Calum twists in my arms so he’s facing me. He peers down at me with an intensity that strips me of my confidence. I fake a smile but he clicks his tongue. He sees through my bullshit. Telling him about Jackson won’t solve the problem. It only means two more worried people.“Is everything okay, Cathy?”“Why won’t it be?”“The least you owe me is the truth, Cathy. Don’t lie to me. I know something is up.”My arms stretch out to hug Calum but he keeps me at a distance. My lower lip trembles. I think I’m about to cry again. He runs a hand through his hair. I need to say something. Why am I not talking?“I’m here because of you,” he murmurs, his frustration evident. “Scott is mad I left, there’s so much work to be done but I’m here because I know my baby is not happy.”“Cal,” I whisper.
On Sunday morning when Calum is still asleep, I sneak into the bathroom to call Jackson. The call rings uninterruptedly for the first time, and the second time, it goes straight to voicemail. I bite my fingernails while pacing the bathroom.He might be in church with his family for morning mass. Our parents left already. Jackson’s parents oversee the Bible study group. He attends church for their sake.I dump the phone on the sink and splash water on my face. One minute later, I’m still staring at myself in the mirror.What will Jackson do?Turning my back to the mirror, I scroll through our interactions from yesterday. There’s an unread text from Jackson. The content causes a sob of relief to escape me. I clap a hand over my mouth and breathe. I’m safe now, but what happens next time?I reread the message.Jackson: you are lucky Regina showed upSo it was all about sex for h
Jackson smirks. He holds up his phone to show me his call log. My name is at the top of the list. If he called me, I didn’t hear it. I walk away before he talks, knowing he will follow behind. He is a bloody asshole.“I figured you would be in there since you weren’t at the cafeteria,” he says. When we are distances away from Calum’s class, I turn around. My foot taps into the floor, and my nose wrinkles in disgust. Jackson’s facade cracks. “I see what this is, Cathy.”“No, you don’t, Jackson. You don’t see anything.” Steeling my gaze, I place a hand on my hip. I should never have showed any weakness. If he had any real evidence of us, he would have shown it. “I was having troubles after the last class so I stayed back for an explanation. That’s what teachers are paid to do, right?”“Right, not fuck their students.”“You&rsqu
CALUMOn Friday morning, I leave for school without my girlfriend. Of course I send her a text but switch off my phone before she replies. She’s keeping secrets from me. Doing this is only fair.I’m at the stoplight when I remember to switch on my phone. And it beeps with a text from Amelia to let me know she’s in school but Jackson isn’t. She is helping me because Cathy won’t let me in. How does she intend to handle Jackson? By taking up his offer of fucking him? It won’t end there. It will only be the start of more ludicrous demands from the grumpy ex.My blood boils with the same intensity it did when I first saw that text. I put a lid on my anger and drive into the parking lot. Why didn’t she say anything to me? Her friends knew, so why was I excluded? I wait a few minutes in the car to calm myself. My phone pings on the passenger seat. I grab the folder and the phone, and edit the car.There&r
Calum is home late. I haven’t stopped thinking about him since he asked me out of his office. Does he know about Jackson?I saw Jackson leave Calum’s office. Jackson asked to speak to me after school but I didn’t wait. I left with Amelia because Calum couldn’t be bothered about his girl.Faint footsteps break through my thoughts. I pull the cover over my head as the footsteps stop in front of Calum’s door.I’m in his room.The door opens and a light switch goes off. His steps slow. Something drops to the chair, I assume it’s his briefcase but I don’t check to confirm. The bed dips with his weight. I freeze, afraid to meet his gaze.He taps my knee. “Cathy?”“In here,” I reply from under the cover.“What’s up? How did you get in here?”I pull the cover to my chin and reply, “You gave me your keys, r
I frown at the picture on the laptop screen. In kind words, it’s ugly. I adjust the laptop on the pillow resting on my leg. Calum’s shoulder digs into mine as he awaits my final answer. “Nope,” I say.“No?” he replies. He taps a button on his keyboard and another picture appears. “How about this?” We are trying to pick out a picture for the cover of Calum’s upcoming single—Tangled sheets. I haven’t heard the final version. He claims it’s not ready. If he hadn’t looked so cute when he said it, I might not have believed him.“This is okay,” I say. It’s the picture of a girl but her face is hidden by the thick volume of her hair sprawled over the pillow. It depicts a line from the song’s refrain. Tangled hair spread over tangled sheets. “You don’t sound so happy with the choice. You don’t like it?” Calum says. He pulls the laptop to himself and scrolls through more pictures. “I think it’s okay. I don’t know. Scott likes the first.” “The ugly one?” I blurt out.Calum frowns. “It’s n
“Should we do it again?” Taylor asks.Rose shrugs. “I don’t know. Should we?”Four of us crowd Amelia’s bed, our heads almost butting as we try to glimpse the video Taylor created. Rose and I are in front of the camera while Amelia and Taylor work behind the scenes to make a TicToc video using the sound from Calum’s soon-to-be released single.That man didn’t release the whole song to him but he allowed me the chorus so I could do something with it. Somehow, he still doesn’t understand that I’m in this with him forever and for free. I love making videos on TicToc and he needs the promotion. It’s a win-win for both of us.“I think this works,” I say after a minute.“We can make more. Different variations,” Rose adds. I flash her a smile. They have been willing to help since I suggested it.“I like that idea,” I murmur.
I press my fingers into Calum’s lower back. He groans into the pillow, tilts his head only a little to show me his sleepy face. His morning hair curls over his forehead, and my fingers brush them away. “Good morning, superstar.” “Morning, rockstar.” Calum laughs. I pull the cover over us and his arm drops to my waist. He breathes into my hair. I take all that he’s offering before he has to leave for London. “I’ll have to go soon,” he whispers. “Hmm.” I bury my face in his chest and draw a heart on his skin. I already miss him. “It’s a shame you won’t get to see my dress.” “You can put it on for me now.” I rest my jaw on his chest and whip my fingers through the scanty hair in the valley between his abs. “Nope.” His blues dim in disappointment but I don’t give in. “That’s your punishment, Cal.” “That’s it? You’re not mad?” he asks.I don’t stop tracing circles on his chest. I can’t be mad when it’s not his fault. “Well, I wish you would be there but what’s the point when I can’
I should have taken Calum’s suggestion of a family dinner date. As I stare at the sauce in the pan, the colour changed by the black pepper I poured in, my brows wrinkle. This is not good. I touch the spatula to my palm to have a taste. It’s not horrible nor tasty but it’s edible. Turning off the cooker, I grab the plates for dinner from the cabinet.A kick from inside my belly has both hands lowering to cup my bump. I fold the hem of my shirt to reveal my protruding belly. This pregnancy is so much easier with Calum. I have someone to bother when the midnight cravings sweep in. Grabbing the plates and tray, I dish out dinner for Mace and I. Calum will be home past his son’s bedtime, thanks to Scott and the new album the band will be releasing next month.Through the open kitchen door, I try to spy on Mace. But the curly blondie is nowhere in sight. He must be playing with the guitar his dad gifted him on his last birthday. I’m not sure I want him to follow the same path as both of his
My ring is pretty. Too pretty. I stretch my hand in front of me and wiggle my fingers. Calum is all smiles beside me, and the rest of the table have similar grins. We changed tables when everyone arrived. Two bottles of wine sit open on the table. My glass is as full as it was when we shared a toast to my future with Calum. I can’t drink or eat with all the butterflies dancing in my belly.“Now we can call you Mrs Dissick,” Lucas says. The whole table laughs. They are all dressed so formally. No suits for them but matching button-up shirts and tailored slacks. Lucas even wore proper Oxford shoes.Rose smiles, and Taylor mirrors it. They are seated side by side. She glances at Calum, her red hair whooshing as she cocks her head.“You’re about to marry your stepbrother,” she whispers. Her voice is loud and carries round the table. The table falls quiet as nervousness creeps in. She brings her glass to her lips, offers a remorseful grin and gulps the entire content down. “Cheers.” Luca
CALUMI asked Pete’s permission to marry Cathy. I also asked Mum, and she was overly excited to give her blessings. Having both parents blessings builds my anxiety. I pace the entirety of our room, my sweaty palms closing and opening. Cathy is with her friends. Mace is with his grandparents.The phone on the bed rings. I jump. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and stalk to the bed to pick up the phone. It’s a missed call from Lucas. He didn’t even let it ring. I unlock the phone as a text from him enters. Luc: stop worrying. She will say yes.I roll my eyes at my screen, but a smile tugs the corners of my lips. Cathy has no choice. She’s my wife. Walking back to the front of the mirror, I smoothen my tux and adjust my stripped tie. My curls cling to my scalp, thanks to the excess gel I applied earlier. I massage my clean-shaven jaw, and the same hand slides to the back of my neck.The last time I had to dress formally was when I was Cathy’s music teacher. I spin as the door opens
Dad’s here. Oh my God. Dad is here. Dad. Jason. Rose and Taylor. I’m vibrating with happiness, too stunned to move or react. Calum nudges me with his hip, and I snap out of it. I jump into Dad’s arms, trying to draw all four of them into a hug.Laughter rings out around me as we tear away from the group hug. Dad grins. I smile but it wanes when I notice more of his grey hairs. I pat the greying hairs at his temples and his hand covers mine. He has aged.“You came,” I say to him.“Calum arranged it,” he replies.I hug him again. Only him. My tears wet his shirt as he strokes my lower back. A tug on the hem of my top forces us to break apart.“Mama,” Mace says. Squatting to his height, I offer him a weak smile. He wipes my wet cheeks, and his lips purse. “Mama. No cry.” “No crying for Mama,” I whisper. I hear a chorus of awws and oos, but I don’t look around. Handing Mace to Calum, I take turns hugging my best friends. I hug Jason last, and I hug him the longest. He’s a huge reminder
It’s the last day of the Manchester tour. We can spend a few days before leaving. There are mixed reactions to this. I’m excited to move to another city but reluctant to leave all the memories we created here. Calum doesn’t care as long as we are by his side.“What are you thinking?” Calum asks.His lips brush the space between my boobs. Hooded eyes stare at me, causing a flip in my belly. My lips part, but my reply dies on my tongue as his hairy jaw scratches my nipple. I shiver, and he offers me a wicked grin. On some days, like today, I find it impossible to believe this man was a virgin until me. I run my fingers through the mess of his hair. His fingers dip into my warmth, teasing a little to remind me how we spent our night. I’m quickly relearning his taste.Calum is always super hyped after every performance and if I don’t get away from him as fast as possible, we will fuck in whatever space avai
Voices from outside drag me out of dreamland. I blink fast, staring at the ceiling until my mind reels to a stop. Calum’s side of the bed is empty. Same with Mace’s crib. I roll over to the other end of the bed, smiling at Mace’s empty crib. A knot twists in my belly as the memory of our late night and early morning activities flood my mind. I’m alone in the room, but my cheeks still heat up due to shyness.If Calum is not here, he must have gone to get Mace. Father and son are most likely together, bonding. I grab my phone from the nightstand. There are missed calls from Dad. After a long call with Dad, Jason, Taylor and Rose, I head into the bathroom.The boys are performing today but I’m not. As exciting as yesterday was, I need a break. Mace and I will watch from the VIP section. I wear one of Calum’s big shirts over my skimpy nightwear. Calum can hardly keep his hands to himself and he proved that last night with the numbe
I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an
CALUMIt’s today. The boys are pumped, and so am I. Cathy and I won’t share the stage but she will perform before me, giving Mace and I a front row view of her performance. But it’s impossible to savour the excitement when she’s this nervous and threatening to bore a hole into the rug with her constant pacing. I stay as close to the door as possible. The more the gap between us, the lesser Cathy’s chances of getting mad. My last attempt at trying to calm her resulted in a shoe thrown at my face. This time I’m not alone. I’m with a reinforcement. The boys were nowhere to be found but Mace had no choice. His arms and feet dangle out of the carrier strapped to my chest. Mum wanted to take him while Cathy performed but I wanted both of us to watch from backstage. He has his noise cancellation headphones so he can’t hear a thing beside the playlists I created for him. “Cathy,” I mutter when she halts before the window. No reply. I clear my throat. “Baby.” Cathy turns on her heels and s
Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens.I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.”“Hey,” Mace replies.I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks.“Good,” I reply.They wanted to show us around. The boys prac