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24 || Panic attack
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2024-10-29 19:42:56My boyfriend is not happy. He’s not mad at me but he’s not happy with the situation.
Amelia nudges me with her knee, I shake off thoughts of Calum and try to participate in the conversation. Rose and Taylor will leave after our finals, we have to cherish every moment.
Today, it’s just us four at our table. I like it. I missed it. I love having their boyfriends at our table but it’s different with only the girls. It’s us.
“Girls,” I say and my hand goes up. Everyone stops talking. Rose shoves her burger into her mouth, stuffing her cheek like a starving bum. Amelia sips from her coke. “I was thinking…” Well, it’s Calum’s idea or rather, Dani’s but I don’t tell them that as I propose the plan of switching our mode of operation. “It can help us.”
It can help me.
Calum is doing his part. I have to also do mine. Rose dumps her burger on her
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To Tempt My Stepbrother 26 || Avoiding him
“You’re avoiding him,” Amelia says.For the past hour my best friend has been here, she has not failed to remind me about the man next door. He’s trying and I’m…well, I’m not.I fall flat on my back to the bed, arms and feet spread wide open. Amelia grunts but stays out of my way. Squinting at the ceiling, seconds roll by without me talking. Eventually, she will have to drop this topic because I have nothing to say to her or Calum. A pillow comes down on my face, once, twice and a third time before I jump.“Jesus!” I scramble out of her reach before the fourth attack. “What’s your problem, Amelia?”Glaring daggers right back at me, she murmurs, “You are my problem. You’re avoiding him.”My knees sink into the bed. Slowly shaking my head, I grab a pillow to defend myself from her.“I’m not avoiding him,” I reply
To Tempt My Stepbrother 27 || Go to sleep
The silence drags on for two minutes. I nibble on my lip without a reply to Calum. Emotions war in his eyes, he offers me a sad smile and attempts to leave but the sound of my zip opening stops him. Eyes on the task at hand, I step out of my gown.I’m nervous.“Thank you,” he says. He removes his clothes with more grace than I did. When he’s naked, I take off my underwear. “Want to get in the shower?”“Already did,” I answer.Calum laughs but it sounds strange to my ears. “Me too.” I stare at his dick, his beautiful length and he hides it behind his palms. “Just ignore it,” he says forcefully with a faker laugh. “Little man doesn’t know how to behave around you.”There’s nothing little about that man but I nod to ease some off his tension. I get into the bed first and flip the bedside lamp on while he goes off to switch off
To Tempt My Stepbrother 28 || Fix it!
I think I did well in the tests today. But that joy evaporates as soon as I unlock my phone. The drive to school with Calum was awkward, and I don’t want a repeat of that on our way home. But that might be the only option because of Amelia.A: I won’t be able to drop you off today but I know someone who wouldn’t mind doing that.Amelia! I bang my head against my locker.This girl.She’s really going to do this to her best friend? I told her earlier I would hitch a ride home with her. She didn’t ask questions but she must have put two and two together. I call bullshit on her having to leave without waking me yesterday. She wanted to get me alone with Calum. Well, that didn’t work so well. Now, we are just weird around each other. And I’m partly mad at him.Me: Betrayer.A: He hasn’t left. I think I saw his car outside.Rolling my eyes, I slam my locker close. I mis
To Tempt My Stepbrother 29 || The answer is still no
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To Tempt My Stepbrother 30 || All girls, no boys
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To Tempt My Stepbrother 31 || Break up
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To Tempt My Stepbrother 32 || My heart
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To Tempt My Stepbrother Epilogue
I should have taken Calum’s suggestion of a family dinner date. As I stare at the sauce in the pan, the colour changed by the black pepper I poured in, my brows wrinkle. This is not good. I touch the spatula to my palm to have a taste. It’s not horrible nor tasty but it’s edible. Turning off the cooker, I grab the plates for dinner from the cabinet.A kick from inside my belly has both hands lowering to cup my bump. I fold the hem of my shirt to reveal my protruding belly. This pregnancy is so much easier with Calum. I have someone to bother when the midnight cravings sweep in. Grabbing the plates and tray, I dish out dinner for Mace and I. Calum will be home past his son’s bedtime, thanks to Scott and the new album the band will be releasing next month.Through the open kitchen door, I try to spy on Mace. But the curly blondie is nowhere in sight. He must be playing with the guitar his dad gifted him on his last birthday. I’m not sure I want him to follow the same path as both of his
To Tempt My Stepbrother 59 || Use me
My ring is pretty. Too pretty. I stretch my hand in front of me and wiggle my fingers. Calum is all smiles beside me, and the rest of the table have similar grins. We changed tables when everyone arrived. Two bottles of wine sit open on the table. My glass is as full as it was when we shared a toast to my future with Calum. I can’t drink or eat with all the butterflies dancing in my belly.“Now we can call you Mrs Dissick,” Lucas says. The whole table laughs. They are all dressed so formally. No suits for them but matching button-up shirts and tailored slacks. Lucas even wore proper Oxford shoes.Rose smiles, and Taylor mirrors it. They are seated side by side. She glances at Calum, her red hair whooshing as she cocks her head.“You’re about to marry your stepbrother,” she whispers. Her voice is loud and carries round the table. The table falls quiet as nervousness creeps in. She brings her glass to her lips, offers a remorseful grin and gulps the entire content down. “Cheers.” Luca
To Tempt My Stepbrother 58 || Marry this man
CALUMI asked Pete’s permission to marry Cathy. I also asked Mum, and she was overly excited to give her blessings. Having both parents blessings builds my anxiety. I pace the entirety of our room, my sweaty palms closing and opening. Cathy is with her friends. Mace is with his grandparents.The phone on the bed rings. I jump. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and stalk to the bed to pick up the phone. It’s a missed call from Lucas. He didn’t even let it ring. I unlock the phone as a text from him enters. Luc: stop worrying. She will say yes.I roll my eyes at my screen, but a smile tugs the corners of my lips. Cathy has no choice. She’s my wife. Walking back to the front of the mirror, I smoothen my tux and adjust my stripped tie. My curls cling to my scalp, thanks to the excess gel I applied earlier. I massage my clean-shaven jaw, and the same hand slides to the back of my neck.The last time I had to dress formally was when I was Cathy’s music teacher. I spin as the door opens
To Tempt My Stepbrother 57 || You came
Dad’s here. Oh my God. Dad is here. Dad. Jason. Rose and Taylor. I’m vibrating with happiness, too stunned to move or react. Calum nudges me with his hip, and I snap out of it. I jump into Dad’s arms, trying to draw all four of them into a hug.Laughter rings out around me as we tear away from the group hug. Dad grins. I smile but it wanes when I notice more of his grey hairs. I pat the greying hairs at his temples and his hand covers mine. He has aged.“You came,” I say to him.“Calum arranged it,” he replies.I hug him again. Only him. My tears wet his shirt as he strokes my lower back. A tug on the hem of my top forces us to break apart.“Mama,” Mace says. Squatting to his height, I offer him a weak smile. He wipes my wet cheeks, and his lips purse. “Mama. No cry.” “No crying for Mama,” I whisper. I hear a chorus of awws and oos, but I don’t look around. Handing Mace to Calum, I take turns hugging my best friends. I hug Jason last, and I hug him the longest. He’s a huge reminder
To Tempt My Stepbrother 56 || Surprise
It’s the last day of the Manchester tour. We can spend a few days before leaving. There are mixed reactions to this. I’m excited to move to another city but reluctant to leave all the memories we created here. Calum doesn’t care as long as we are by his side.“What are you thinking?” Calum asks.His lips brush the space between my boobs. Hooded eyes stare at me, causing a flip in my belly. My lips part, but my reply dies on my tongue as his hairy jaw scratches my nipple. I shiver, and he offers me a wicked grin. On some days, like today, I find it impossible to believe this man was a virgin until me. I run my fingers through the mess of his hair. His fingers dip into my warmth, teasing a little to remind me how we spent our night. I’m quickly relearning his taste.Calum is always super hyped after every performance and if I don’t get away from him as fast as possible, we will fuck in whatever space avai
To Tempt My Stepbrother 55 || I love you forever
Voices from outside drag me out of dreamland. I blink fast, staring at the ceiling until my mind reels to a stop. Calum’s side of the bed is empty. Same with Mace’s crib. I roll over to the other end of the bed, smiling at Mace’s empty crib. A knot twists in my belly as the memory of our late night and early morning activities flood my mind. I’m alone in the room, but my cheeks still heat up due to shyness.If Calum is not here, he must have gone to get Mace. Father and son are most likely together, bonding. I grab my phone from the nightstand. There are missed calls from Dad. After a long call with Dad, Jason, Taylor and Rose, I head into the bathroom.The boys are performing today but I’m not. As exciting as yesterday was, I need a break. Mace and I will watch from the VIP section. I wear one of Calum’s big shirts over my skimpy nightwear. Calum can hardly keep his hands to himself and he proved that last night with the numbe
To Tempt My Stepbrother 54 || Are you scared?
I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an
To Tempt My Stepbrother 53 || Number one happy place
CALUMIt’s today. The boys are pumped, and so am I. Cathy and I won’t share the stage but she will perform before me, giving Mace and I a front row view of her performance. But it’s impossible to savour the excitement when she’s this nervous and threatening to bore a hole into the rug with her constant pacing. I stay as close to the door as possible. The more the gap between us, the lesser Cathy’s chances of getting mad. My last attempt at trying to calm her resulted in a shoe thrown at my face. This time I’m not alone. I’m with a reinforcement. The boys were nowhere to be found but Mace had no choice. His arms and feet dangle out of the carrier strapped to my chest. Mum wanted to take him while Cathy performed but I wanted both of us to watch from backstage. He has his noise cancellation headphones so he can’t hear a thing beside the playlists I created for him. “Cathy,” I mutter when she halts before the window. No reply. I clear my throat. “Baby.” Cathy turns on her heels and s
To Tempt My Stepbrother 52 || Whatever you want to be
Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens.I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.”“Hey,” Mace replies.I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks.“Good,” I reply.They wanted to show us around. The boys prac
