I think I did well in the tests today. But that joy evaporates as soon as I unlock my phone. The drive to school with Calum was awkward, and I don’t want a repeat of that on our way home. But that might be the only option because of Amelia.
A: I won’t be able to drop you off today but I know someone who wouldn’t mind doing that.
Amelia! I bang my head against my locker.
This girl.
She’s really going to do this to her best friend? I told her earlier I would hitch a ride home with her. She didn’t ask questions but she must have put two and two together. I call bullshit on her having to leave without waking me yesterday. She wanted to get me alone with Calum. Well, that didn’t work so well. Now, we are just weird around each other. And I’m partly mad at him.
Me: Betrayer.
A: He hasn’t left. I think I saw his car outside.
Rolling my eyes, I slam my locker close. I mis
Calum pulls up at the house. I’m about to thank him for the ride but Dad’s car is sitting right in front. Is he home? I wrench the door open and jet to the front door, banging on it like a demon on the loose. Calum calls my name but I’m on only one mission: Get to my Dad. The doctor said he might not be home until the end of this week.The door opens at the same time Calum gets to me. He pulls the key from under the doormat and I shrug. I wasn’t thinking, I still am not. I need to see my dad first. Pushing past Dani and into the living room, my feet grind to a stop.Dad is on the couch. He smiles. “Cathy, I—”I lunge into his lap, my arms tightening around his frame as my face buries into his chest. Dad wheezes with laughter but doesn’t let go. My tears soak his shirt and he plants a kiss on my temple.He is home. He is fine. He didn’t leave me.Death is inevitable
Calum hasn’t said a word to me. Last night, he walked right past me into his room without so much as a glance my way. For the nth time, I reread through our texts that ensued after. Fine, I was a bit too much but he sprung it up on me. They ganged up on me and I didn’t appreciate it.Me: I didn’t mean it that wayMe: I’m sorry.Me: baby. My loveMe: please say somethingC: Goodnight CatherineI didn’t send him another text after that. But now as I wait for the girls, I think I should have. He’s upset. And I know why. I told him off. I hurt his feelings. It’s all I seem to be doing these days.But it’s also his fault. Is it? I don’t know anything anymore. He had good intentions, but a bad time.We didn’t have breakfast as a family today. It’s quite normal given our different schedules but Dani and Dad were both home and I can’t help the feeling t
Calum is finally talking to me. It’s Wednesday. Our midterms are over and we have the rest of the week off. Calum snaps a finger in my face.“Did you hear anything I said?” he asks. I just smile. To have him talking to me again, even if it’s with a big scowl makes me happy. “Cathy!”I push a foot forward, and he braces an elbow on his car’s roof. “No. Not really. What did you say?”Annoyance twists his expression and his eyes twitch. These days, he’s unkind to me. I told him I wouldn’t be joining him home yesterday and he didn’t even ask why. Just a simple okay was all I got. I don’t like this new Calum.“Are you going home with me today?” he asks.“Yeah. That’s why I’m here.”“Right.” He unlocks the car. “Your door is open.”Two minutes later and my stepbrother hasn&rs
“It’s breaking,” I whisper over the phone to Amelia. The only reason I didn’t run off to her house after the fight with Calum is because I want to be alone and I don’t want to bother her.“What?” she asks.I place a hand over my chest and the organ protected by my ribcage beats faster. It hurts.“My heart. It’s breaking.” “Cathy,” she says. I tug the cover over my head. It sounded like a good idea to call her. Now, I’m not so sure. I just want to hide here until the pain goes away. “Do you want me to come over?”“No, it’s fine.” Pretending she’s here, I roll on my side and stare into space. Calum should be in his room. “Can I tell you something?” Amelia hums in response. “I feel so alone sometimes.”“What do you mean?”My eyes shut. I put into words w
CALUMDon’t try to understand women. Sometimes, they say they don’t want you but what they mean is: please stay. And when they say they need space. They could simply mean: hold me but don’t say a word to me because I’m mad at you for reasons that shouldn’t be known to you.I’ve learnt all these with Cathy. But I don’t find them cute anymore, not with the way she has treated me over the last few days. If she really wants me, I don’t know. We have fallen apart.She’s now my sad place.I don’t think of her and smile. I think of her and remember the look of vehemence, disgust and anger when she told me she didn’t want to go anywhere with me. I can try to deal with that. The space will do both of us good anyway.What I can’t deal with are the ridiculous prices and conditions it requires to find an apartment that will sublet for two months. That’s enough t
Calum wants to break up with me.He wants to end what we have.Tears cloud my vision as I arrange my stuff into a small travelling box. Trying to comfort myself with the fact we will spend three days together doesn’t work. My phone rings out somewhere in the room. I ignore it and resume packing.The phone is still ringing when I finish packing. I hoist my box on the bed and snatch the phone from the drawer. My frown almost disappears after one look at the screen. Amelia. I stop in front of the mirror to practise my responses.“Hey,” Amelia says when I pick.“Hey, you,” I say. My excitement is forced and my voice is stained with nerves. “How are you?”“Good. On our way to the beach house. Daddy’s home, we’ll spend the day together.” I nod along as she rambles on about their plans for the break. Due to the nature of her parent’s jobs, ha
It’s 6:15 pm when Calum knocks on my door. I am refreshed, well-fed and thinking clearly. We can have our talk today. Or skip it till Saturday.I open the door to a smiling Calum. He sizes me up and I almost spin to give him a better look of my dress. He came. I thought he wouldn’t.“Would you like to take a walk with me?” he asks after a minute of silence. I nod shyly and he almost stretches his hand to me, slipping it into his pocket at the last minute. “Shall we?”“We shall,” I whisper.Calum opens the door wider for me to step out first. I wait behind to lock the door and we head towards the elevator. Inside the metallic box, I steal glances at his profile. What’s he thinking?His finger drums a rhythm on his hip, the only audible sound in the elevator till it pings at our stop. Sticking by his side, we head outside the hotel and the cool London breeze hits our
Oh.I’m not impressed.Calum departs from my side and I follow him to the front of the crowd. There’s a man on the bench. He has a guitar. His body is bent over the guitar he’s hugging to his chest. The guitar case is open on the floor for onlookers to drop money in it. Calum wanders off to the man, leaving me alone to watch and wonder. What’s his plan?They exchange words for a while and the man gives a curt nod. Dew coats the bench, my eyes follow the moisture, then move back to the man’s threadbare outfit. The thin shirt hidden under his black coat can barely keep the cold of the night away.On Calum’s return, he rocks on his soles. “So…I don’t think we will be having our concert tonight or anytime before we leave.” I pout. He barks out a laugh. The small crowd thins out after hearing him. When I count again, we are less than ten. “Except you’re up for perf
I should have taken Calum’s suggestion of a family dinner date. As I stare at the sauce in the pan, the colour changed by the black pepper I poured in, my brows wrinkle. This is not good. I touch the spatula to my palm to have a taste. It’s not horrible nor tasty but it’s edible. Turning off the cooker, I grab the plates for dinner from the cabinet.A kick from inside my belly has both hands lowering to cup my bump. I fold the hem of my shirt to reveal my protruding belly. This pregnancy is so much easier with Calum. I have someone to bother when the midnight cravings sweep in. Grabbing the plates and tray, I dish out dinner for Mace and I. Calum will be home past his son’s bedtime, thanks to Scott and the new album the band will be releasing next month.Through the open kitchen door, I try to spy on Mace. But the curly blondie is nowhere in sight. He must be playing with the guitar his dad gifted him on his last birthday. I’m not sure I want him to follow the same path as both of his
My ring is pretty. Too pretty. I stretch my hand in front of me and wiggle my fingers. Calum is all smiles beside me, and the rest of the table have similar grins. We changed tables when everyone arrived. Two bottles of wine sit open on the table. My glass is as full as it was when we shared a toast to my future with Calum. I can’t drink or eat with all the butterflies dancing in my belly.“Now we can call you Mrs Dissick,” Lucas says. The whole table laughs. They are all dressed so formally. No suits for them but matching button-up shirts and tailored slacks. Lucas even wore proper Oxford shoes.Rose smiles, and Taylor mirrors it. They are seated side by side. She glances at Calum, her red hair whooshing as she cocks her head.“You’re about to marry your stepbrother,” she whispers. Her voice is loud and carries round the table. The table falls quiet as nervousness creeps in. She brings her glass to her lips, offers a remorseful grin and gulps the entire content down. “Cheers.” Luca
CALUMI asked Pete’s permission to marry Cathy. I also asked Mum, and she was overly excited to give her blessings. Having both parents blessings builds my anxiety. I pace the entirety of our room, my sweaty palms closing and opening. Cathy is with her friends. Mace is with his grandparents.The phone on the bed rings. I jump. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and stalk to the bed to pick up the phone. It’s a missed call from Lucas. He didn’t even let it ring. I unlock the phone as a text from him enters. Luc: stop worrying. She will say yes.I roll my eyes at my screen, but a smile tugs the corners of my lips. Cathy has no choice. She’s my wife. Walking back to the front of the mirror, I smoothen my tux and adjust my stripped tie. My curls cling to my scalp, thanks to the excess gel I applied earlier. I massage my clean-shaven jaw, and the same hand slides to the back of my neck.The last time I had to dress formally was when I was Cathy’s music teacher. I spin as the door opens
Dad’s here. Oh my God. Dad is here. Dad. Jason. Rose and Taylor. I’m vibrating with happiness, too stunned to move or react. Calum nudges me with his hip, and I snap out of it. I jump into Dad’s arms, trying to draw all four of them into a hug.Laughter rings out around me as we tear away from the group hug. Dad grins. I smile but it wanes when I notice more of his grey hairs. I pat the greying hairs at his temples and his hand covers mine. He has aged.“You came,” I say to him.“Calum arranged it,” he replies.I hug him again. Only him. My tears wet his shirt as he strokes my lower back. A tug on the hem of my top forces us to break apart.“Mama,” Mace says. Squatting to his height, I offer him a weak smile. He wipes my wet cheeks, and his lips purse. “Mama. No cry.” “No crying for Mama,” I whisper. I hear a chorus of awws and oos, but I don’t look around. Handing Mace to Calum, I take turns hugging my best friends. I hug Jason last, and I hug him the longest. He’s a huge reminder
It’s the last day of the Manchester tour. We can spend a few days before leaving. There are mixed reactions to this. I’m excited to move to another city but reluctant to leave all the memories we created here. Calum doesn’t care as long as we are by his side.“What are you thinking?” Calum asks.His lips brush the space between my boobs. Hooded eyes stare at me, causing a flip in my belly. My lips part, but my reply dies on my tongue as his hairy jaw scratches my nipple. I shiver, and he offers me a wicked grin. On some days, like today, I find it impossible to believe this man was a virgin until me. I run my fingers through the mess of his hair. His fingers dip into my warmth, teasing a little to remind me how we spent our night. I’m quickly relearning his taste.Calum is always super hyped after every performance and if I don’t get away from him as fast as possible, we will fuck in whatever space avai
Voices from outside drag me out of dreamland. I blink fast, staring at the ceiling until my mind reels to a stop. Calum’s side of the bed is empty. Same with Mace’s crib. I roll over to the other end of the bed, smiling at Mace’s empty crib. A knot twists in my belly as the memory of our late night and early morning activities flood my mind. I’m alone in the room, but my cheeks still heat up due to shyness.If Calum is not here, he must have gone to get Mace. Father and son are most likely together, bonding. I grab my phone from the nightstand. There are missed calls from Dad. After a long call with Dad, Jason, Taylor and Rose, I head into the bathroom.The boys are performing today but I’m not. As exciting as yesterday was, I need a break. Mace and I will watch from the VIP section. I wear one of Calum’s big shirts over my skimpy nightwear. Calum can hardly keep his hands to himself and he proved that last night with the numbe
I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an
CALUMIt’s today. The boys are pumped, and so am I. Cathy and I won’t share the stage but she will perform before me, giving Mace and I a front row view of her performance. But it’s impossible to savour the excitement when she’s this nervous and threatening to bore a hole into the rug with her constant pacing. I stay as close to the door as possible. The more the gap between us, the lesser Cathy’s chances of getting mad. My last attempt at trying to calm her resulted in a shoe thrown at my face. This time I’m not alone. I’m with a reinforcement. The boys were nowhere to be found but Mace had no choice. His arms and feet dangle out of the carrier strapped to my chest. Mum wanted to take him while Cathy performed but I wanted both of us to watch from backstage. He has his noise cancellation headphones so he can’t hear a thing beside the playlists I created for him. “Cathy,” I mutter when she halts before the window. No reply. I clear my throat. “Baby.” Cathy turns on her heels and s
Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens.I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.”“Hey,” Mace replies.I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks.“Good,” I reply.They wanted to show us around. The boys prac