“So, did you enjoy your vacation?” Tom seems oblivious to the impending newcomer glaring his way and my obvious discomfort and need to escape. My heart is doing the rhumba because Jyeon looks exactly like a guy who will not be polite and idly walk by.
“It wasn’t really that kind of vacation…. I need to get the shack opened and changed. It’s nice to see you again, have a good day.” I make to hightail it away from him, aware Jyeon is less than ten feet from us and rapidly closing, when Tom catches him out of the corner of his eye, and his entire expression stiffens. He inclines his head, recognition spreading across his face, and adopts a similar unfriendly frown to my idiot man.
“We meet again.” Jyeon slides up with a cocky smirk, catching me mid escape by the upper arm, and tugs me into his side so he can lasso an arm around my shoulders. It’s such an obvious move to show off who’s woman I am. He leans
“Hey…. Water, not breadsticks.” Greta snaps me out of my daze, and I look down and realize I am filling a glass pitcher with them instead of liquid and sigh at my stupidity. Tutting outwardly and dragging them back out. We have been open again for a few days, getting back into the swing of things, and yet it feels like two years ago again when I was learning the ropes.“What’s with you lately? You’re distracted and vacant most of the time. Are you feeling unwell?” She leans over and presses the back of her hand to my forehead to check my temperature, and I wave her away. Knowing I’m not ill and my temperature is average.“I’m fine; just a little tired, is all.” While working here, I haven't been energized, splitting my time between Jyeon and Greta and not sleeping enough. A lot of shit has been going through my mind the past few days, and I can’t explain it without sounding like a freak. It&
I stare out over the distant water, leaning on the railing of the highest viewpoint of the island, lost in thought. I came walking after Greta and I were done talking to clear my head, and I found myself climbing up to observe my world from above.“Hey, you. I've been looking for you. You left your cell at the shack.” Jyeon’s voice filters through my mindless haze, and I break into a genuine smile, warmed by his appearance and instantly lighter by his presence, as though he brought the sun back into my shadows. “Sorry I took longer than I intended to. Yoonah was weirdly sociable and made me go for lunch to have some brother time before heading back. I figured I shouldn’t refuse, given his aversion to my company for the last ten years.”Jyeon slides up behind me, turning me back to the railing in his arms so he can step up against my back and wind them around me. He lays his chin on my right shoulder, so his cheek meets mine, an
Jyeon exhales heavily, uneasy with admitting to any of this now, and I can sense his tension and awkwardness over this painful topic. He knows it’s digging a hole for him, yet I can feel his desire to be completely honest with me.“Less than a month. After you met her for the first time, it stemmed from there because she relentlessly pursued me. I guess she saw through the sham of our marriage, and I was stuck in a rut and looking for something different from what had become our everyday bullshit. Maybe I wanted you to find out and react. Have some kind of real response from you… I don’t know. I didn’t see her that often, maybe twice a week at most, as it was mainly calls and texts, and the morning you came to her apartment…. was the last time we….. The accident was the end of anything.” he trails off, not wanting to say the words, admitting to the end of their sexual relationship after my dramatic fit at her do
“You ready?” Jyeon helps me out of the passenger seat onto the gravel driveway, and I blow out my air. So not ready for this, even though I told myself a million times on the way here I was. It was not that long a trip by boat and then car to get here, but the island feels so far away. My palms are clammy, and my heart rate is abnormally fast. My nerves are jangled, and my insides are all knotted up and clenched inside of me, adding to the tension of my stiff body. I’m a mess.“It’s the first time I’ve been here since….” I trail off, peering up the hill into the cemetery, and swallow hard. Fighting tears, I can feel building behind my eyes.“I know…. You had a hard time coming here, so it’ll be emotional since it’s technically your first time. Even though you think you are stronger now, it’s different when you’re here. Standing where she is.” Jyeon curls my hand in his, taking t
I keep picturing her tiny little face from so long ago, as clear as if it was yesterday. Her cute button nose and precious little features that will forever be printed like a photograph in my memory. Remember how she felt in my arms, how light she was, how fragile, and her unique baby smell even though she was bloody and covered in birthing fluid. I stare at the patch of ground below and know she’s down there. Lying in that wooden box. All this time, waiting for me, thinking I didn’t love her, and I‘ve been so selfish. I abandoned and neglected her when I should have been coming here with him every time to remind her that she is loved. My pain shouldn’t have been bigger than her need for me to go to her.I pull out the long heavy stone sign we had made yesterday, shaking as I fumble with the bubble wrap and unable to hold in my sobs as my body starts to vibrate. Consumed with regret and heartbreak. Giving up the strong façade and falling apart n
I wipe down the counters at the front desk, half watching the customers enjoying lunch as the twins handle the orders and Greta cooks while half-watching Jyeon in the far corner. He settled himself by a window seat out of the sun's concentrated rays to work on his laptop today, and try as I might not to keep looking over, I can't help myself.It’s been irking on me this past couple of weeks, but today, it seems concentrated because of how accessible he is where he’s sat all alone. Even when submerged in OLO's work ad emails, he attracts female attention without trying. Local girls see new handsome meat to approach and the odd bold tourist who finds reason to interrupt him and ask something pointless. The last one wanted directions to the bakers even though the entire town is signposted. So embarrassingly obvious.I am trying so hard not to be some uptight green-eyed psychopath, but now I have identified my deep-rooted insecurity because of the past; I can a
Almost as if on cue, Jyeon glances back this way subtly, checking to see where I am, and catches both of us staring his way openly as his new friend leans down to his table and continues trying to chat him up. He seems surprised that we are watching him and gives me a slightly nervous hint of a smile. Visibly straightening and becoming awkward under our scrutiny.Greta raises a brow and waves with a stern expression as if to tell him to deal with her, and I stay blank-faced and still and give him zero signals. My gut churning and heart hammering that I know he isn’t interested in anyone but me. I have to learn to accept it and grow faith in him again.Everything was different back then, and I understand how we ended up and why he started an affair. Our relationship wasn't like it is now. I know Jyeon wouldn’t risk screwing everything up like that now that we’re here. He’s putting his entire life on hold to chase me and give me what I need while
“I am sooo doomed, baby. I can’t function doing everyday tasks anymore without constantly checking where you are. Needing you close, wanting you in sight. It’s completely destroying my self-esteem, that I cannot get a handle on things like I used to and am one hundred percent dependent on your presence to be able to breathe.” He jests, only it seems like it’s a partial joke, and there's an edge of seriousness in his tone. Bopping me on the end of the nose with his pointer finger and smiled before leaning down to peck me on the forehead with a sweet kiss.It's endearing to know I’m not the only one struggling with it.“I’m not going anywhere. I promise. …. We’re working through things and figuring it out. No matter what, I know I want to be with you and make this work. I don’t need us to take our vows yet or run away.”It never even occurred to me that Jyeon had insecurities about us too. He