I stare out over the distant water, leaning on the railing of the highest viewpoint of the island, lost in thought. I came walking after Greta and I were done talking to clear my head, and I found myself climbing up to observe my world from above.
“Hey, you. I've been looking for you. You left your cell at the shack.” Jyeon’s voice filters through my mindless haze, and I break into a genuine smile, warmed by his appearance and instantly lighter by his presence, as though he brought the sun back into my shadows. “Sorry I took longer than I intended to. Yoonah was weirdly sociable and made me go for lunch to have some brother time before heading back. I figured I shouldn’t refuse, given his aversion to my company for the last ten years.”
Jyeon slides up behind me, turning me back to the railing in his arms so he can step up against my back and wind them around me. He lays his chin on my right shoulder, so his cheek meets mine, an
Jyeon exhales heavily, uneasy with admitting to any of this now, and I can sense his tension and awkwardness over this painful topic. He knows it’s digging a hole for him, yet I can feel his desire to be completely honest with me.“Less than a month. After you met her for the first time, it stemmed from there because she relentlessly pursued me. I guess she saw through the sham of our marriage, and I was stuck in a rut and looking for something different from what had become our everyday bullshit. Maybe I wanted you to find out and react. Have some kind of real response from you… I don’t know. I didn’t see her that often, maybe twice a week at most, as it was mainly calls and texts, and the morning you came to her apartment…. was the last time we….. The accident was the end of anything.” he trails off, not wanting to say the words, admitting to the end of their sexual relationship after my dramatic fit at her do
“You ready?” Jyeon helps me out of the passenger seat onto the gravel driveway, and I blow out my air. So not ready for this, even though I told myself a million times on the way here I was. It was not that long a trip by boat and then car to get here, but the island feels so far away. My palms are clammy, and my heart rate is abnormally fast. My nerves are jangled, and my insides are all knotted up and clenched inside of me, adding to the tension of my stiff body. I’m a mess.“It’s the first time I’ve been here since….” I trail off, peering up the hill into the cemetery, and swallow hard. Fighting tears, I can feel building behind my eyes.“I know…. You had a hard time coming here, so it’ll be emotional since it’s technically your first time. Even though you think you are stronger now, it’s different when you’re here. Standing where she is.” Jyeon curls my hand in his, taking t
I keep picturing her tiny little face from so long ago, as clear as if it was yesterday. Her cute button nose and precious little features that will forever be printed like a photograph in my memory. Remember how she felt in my arms, how light she was, how fragile, and her unique baby smell even though she was bloody and covered in birthing fluid. I stare at the patch of ground below and know she’s down there. Lying in that wooden box. All this time, waiting for me, thinking I didn’t love her, and I‘ve been so selfish. I abandoned and neglected her when I should have been coming here with him every time to remind her that she is loved. My pain shouldn’t have been bigger than her need for me to go to her.I pull out the long heavy stone sign we had made yesterday, shaking as I fumble with the bubble wrap and unable to hold in my sobs as my body starts to vibrate. Consumed with regret and heartbreak. Giving up the strong façade and falling apart n
I wipe down the counters at the front desk, half watching the customers enjoying lunch as the twins handle the orders and Greta cooks while half-watching Jyeon in the far corner. He settled himself by a window seat out of the sun's concentrated rays to work on his laptop today, and try as I might not to keep looking over, I can't help myself.It’s been irking on me this past couple of weeks, but today, it seems concentrated because of how accessible he is where he’s sat all alone. Even when submerged in OLO's work ad emails, he attracts female attention without trying. Local girls see new handsome meat to approach and the odd bold tourist who finds reason to interrupt him and ask something pointless. The last one wanted directions to the bakers even though the entire town is signposted. So embarrassingly obvious.I am trying so hard not to be some uptight green-eyed psychopath, but now I have identified my deep-rooted insecurity because of the past; I can a
Almost as if on cue, Jyeon glances back this way subtly, checking to see where I am, and catches both of us staring his way openly as his new friend leans down to his table and continues trying to chat him up. He seems surprised that we are watching him and gives me a slightly nervous hint of a smile. Visibly straightening and becoming awkward under our scrutiny.Greta raises a brow and waves with a stern expression as if to tell him to deal with her, and I stay blank-faced and still and give him zero signals. My gut churning and heart hammering that I know he isn’t interested in anyone but me. I have to learn to accept it and grow faith in him again.Everything was different back then, and I understand how we ended up and why he started an affair. Our relationship wasn't like it is now. I know Jyeon wouldn’t risk screwing everything up like that now that we’re here. He’s putting his entire life on hold to chase me and give me what I need while
“I am sooo doomed, baby. I can’t function doing everyday tasks anymore without constantly checking where you are. Needing you close, wanting you in sight. It’s completely destroying my self-esteem, that I cannot get a handle on things like I used to and am one hundred percent dependent on your presence to be able to breathe.” He jests, only it seems like it’s a partial joke, and there's an edge of seriousness in his tone. Bopping me on the end of the nose with his pointer finger and smiled before leaning down to peck me on the forehead with a sweet kiss.It's endearing to know I’m not the only one struggling with it.“I’m not going anywhere. I promise. …. We’re working through things and figuring it out. No matter what, I know I want to be with you and make this work. I don’t need us to take our vows yet or run away.”It never even occurred to me that Jyeon had insecurities about us too. He
“You still mad at me, baby?” Jyeon slides over in the pitch dark, removing the gap I put between us in bed when we came here hours ago. I told him I wasn't in the mood to talk or cuddle up because my head was a mess, and I guess I was sulking at him and Greta for conspiring to dive bomb me the same day over OLO. We’re both laid here trying to sleep, but it’s been obvious neither of us is while lost in our own heads.“I wasn’t mad. I needed headspace,” I reply with a tight tone and exhale as his hands slide over my waist and his body hugs against me from behind. I could tell for a while he’s been pondering rolling up behind me and could hear the way he kept sighing as he tried to figure out if he should talk to me.“You seemed mad…. Mad enough to make me lay in the dark and stress over how to smooth things over again. I’m sorry for pushing you over OLO.” His sweet and gentle whisper as he curls aro
“Don’t look so nervous.” Jyeon nudges his arm against mine as we walk hand in hand across the foyer of the ground floor of OLO to head for the elevators. I’m aware of eyes cats our way from passing employees even though this isn’t my first time here.“Everyone is staring,” I reply in a hushed rush, tilting my chin to avoid the eyes of curious employees. Overly aware of being a spectacle.“Yeah, they are. Do you blame them? You were once a formidable and terrifying ice queen who went AWOL for two years – presumed dead and then reappeared cuddling up with your husband in floaty dresses and soft hair. You’re a point of interest.” Jyeon smiles down at me before hooking me under the chin with his pointer finger and gently lifting it. “Stand tall, Beautiful. You’re the VP.” He winks and tightens his fingers in mine to give me courage. His warm, strong hand, helping to ground me while my nerve
One Year Later (final chapter)“Here, watch your step. Take my arm. Be careful, baby.” Jyeon catches me by the elbow as we make our way down the cobbles embedded in soft grass that are a bit slippy from light rain. It’s a beautiful day, drying out from yesterday’s weather as the sun starts to climb, and the birds are singing loudly as though to welcome us here again. We come often, yet the beauty of this place never ceases to please me.I’m carrying a box of plants and flowers, concentrating on leading the way while he makes sure I stay steady. I am focused on today’s task list in my head as it seems we have a jam-packed schedule today. It’s Yoonies birthday, and we have a family tea party after this.“I’m fine. We’re almost there.” I turn back, screwing up my nose and making a silly face at the bundle of joy nestled in his arms that always puts me in a good mood and melt when I get a giggled response. Big brown eyes set in the sweetest face and the cutest dimples, resembling his dadd
I follow Jyeon around behind the estate agent as she shows us the third property today, and I’m a little bored with endless beige walls and marble kitchen counters. It seems to sell, everyone removes all personality from the buildings, and they blend into a see of neutral boringness. Jyeon seems rooted with interest, and all I keep thinking about is how soon we can eat. Fed up with this already.My fingers are held snugly in his as he takes command and leads the way, pulling me along like a tired toddler to view endless open spaces and listen to the droning agent describe the light and airy feel. He seems aware of my lack of interaction. Asking her questions and pointing out things I might like in this property instead of the others to coax me to respond. So far, I haven’t seen many differences to care.I’m so tired and done with this today. Aching all over and back with a shitty morning of nausea and fatigue that’s dragging my mood down.
I prop my chin in my palms while resting my elbows on the table and gaze out over the sea view from the second floor of the shack. Relaxed, and I’m tired today.“Here we go, ladies.” Bryant slides the plates in front of us, wearing a kitchen apron and looking domesticated today. He’s been learning the ropes of working the kitchen with Greta and helping her cook because apparently he’s a master chef, and it’s been his hidden talent for years. She doesn’t seem too enamored with him muscling into her domain, but she hasn’t stopped him either. I wonder if this is him trying to infiltrate because he knows this is a long-term thing for him, and his future lies in helping with the shack.“What is it?” Greta pipes up, gazing up at him across the table from me, and then picks up a fork to prod the pasta with suspicion. No one gives Bryant a hard time like she does, but it’s amusing.“Seafood pasta wi
I’m lying on the couch of the boat, idly watching daytime tv, and keep checking my cell for any messages from Jyeon at the council meeting. Restless, yet I don’t have the energy to do much about it and hate that my own body prevented me from going there. This was my baby, and this is an essential step in proceeding with the plans for the island.Nothing so far, complete radio silence, and I sigh dejectedly, turning on my side and pausing as another wave of nausea laps over me like warm ocean water. A prickling of heat and then cold showering every inch of my skin in a motion that’s happened frequently since I woke up. I hold very still until it passes and then exhale with relief when it dies down again. My brain fixated on the endlessness of waiting here alone, even though the reality is it hasn’t been long at all. Jyeon refused to leave until the last minute because he didn’t want me to fend for myself, and I know he’ll rush right ba
“Hey, sleepyhead. Do you want breakfast?” Jyeon’s gentle voice filters through my sleep-addled brain as warmth envelopes my downward-facing body. Content and heavy in my haven of bliss and not willing to budge just yet, even with his coaxing. I am star-shaped on the double bed and sinking into my comfy softness. His breath on my cheek and fingers lightly skim through my hair, tingling my scalp before he leans in and kisses me with soft grazing on the temple. Cosily snuggled against me, I flicker my eyes open and come around properly.“Hmmm, what time is it?” I stifle a gentle yawn, too relaxed to lift my head or open my eyes. I could get used to this vacation existence with him. For three days, all we did was play in the sand and sea, have sex, eat, and sleep. I’m exhausted still, as though I haven’t slept, so it has to be ridiculously early. We sailed back to the harbor yesterday evening and had ourselves an early night in prep for t
“You look beautiful. Jyeon is the luckiest man alive.” Mother takes my hand at the car door and helps me slide out, adjusting my simple cream lace dress that reaches the ground and fluffing my hair before handing me my bouquet back. It’s fitted down to my thighs and then flairs out enough for a bit of drama in a mermaid tail shape, and today my hair is curled and swept to one side. I feel glamorous and pretty, eager to get moving and see Jyeon.Jyeon wanted to do this right and slept at the hotel last night with Bryant, leaving the boat for me, mother, and Greta to have ourselves a girly bonding sleepover. It was only one night, and yet I missed him like crazy. I haven’t seen him since he kissed me goodbye after supper and told me today was the start of the rest of our lives. It was a long night, and I swear it’s been days instead of hours.I’m nervous even though it seems so stupid to be, given I have known him forever, and this is
Jyeon leads the way up a narrow path worn down and not defined all too well, but a pretty walk through the trampled grass. Lined with trees and shrubs in a secluded part of the island, which took thirty minutes to drive to and I’m shocked he managed to find this place.“Where does this lead, and how did you even find out about it?” I have a tight grasp on his hand as he guides me and stops every few minutes to check my footing, although it’s a pretty easy walk and not steep either. It’s a casual meander through nature, and we come out on top of the most breathtaking flat top with short grass due to some wild horses we saw near the makeshift car park further back. It’s a plateau on a cliff that’s not as high as my thinking spot but looks out over the island's north side where there’s no sign of the village or harbor and feels crazily secluded.“The lady in the bakers told me about it and set it up on my phone app wit
I push the paperwork aside to allow one of the twins to slide the sandwich platter on the table between the four of us and smile her way warmly. Watching as the other lays out four glasses of iced soda to help fuel us for a few more hours. Such attentive employees and I already decided with Greta to keep them as full-time staff when we boost the Shack’s incoming.“Thank you. You’re a star.” I am completely starving after sitting here all morning while we trash out details and plans for the island for the fourth day in a row, and Bryant is taking notes to help draw up the proposal. Jyeon gave him the assignment to work here for two weeks while we do this, and he’s not complaining, even if his legal department is without a head and constantly calls for guidance. He’s been glued to Greta since he got here and now side by side, facing us; I can tell Greta is happy. She still won’t admit they’re officially a couple, yet she blooms wh
Jyeon reaches inside the leather jacket of his causal attire today and tugs out a small bunch of keys. Not hesitating before pulling the right one with a single hand and unlocking the door. Clunk, click…the opening of the vault of my fears.“Ladies first.” He swings it open in front of us and steps aside, letting my hand go to make a move, and I stand frozen as it comes into slow view. My breath hitching as it feels like my heart skips a beat, and my blood runs cold in my veins.The neutral decorated and modern interior is so anally clean and neat that I always liked. Everything had a place, and I never could deal with clutter or lots of art and mess, so it’s pretty organized and minimal, yet the atmosphere is heavy. I can almost visualize the sharp-suited and cold me of old sitting at that large arc of a desk by the windows. Head down, expression blank and barking orders at the poor secretary who resided there. Her desk is vacant and free from