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Filled Up, yet Empty

Penulis: Harmeen
last update Terakhir Diperbarui: 2022-10-20 02:25:09

"You are silent. Do you find the sky that mesmerizing?"

I looked up to the sky again. It was already dark now, and I moved away from the window.

"It must be really hard...and lonely. Isn't it?"

He chuckled. "At least, I have you to call now. It used to be much worse." His voice went down an octave, and then he let out a sigh. "Maybe I should let you rest now."

"Luke."

"Yes?" He answered and I could hear a slight shuffle. It was like he had already removed the phone from his ear and only returned it when he heard my voice.

"Would you like it if I came over?"

There was a moment of silence. "Do you want to?"

I nodded, a little absent mindedly. My future self was probably laughing hard at my fickle decisions now, after she had sworn to not like Luke.

"Yes, I want to."

There was another moment of silence. "Would you like to?" His voice dripped with uncertainty this time around.

"Just give me the address." I laughed. "Tell me if there is something you want and I will bring it to you."

He w
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  • Through the Threads of Time   This Weird Thing

    I swallowed, trying hard to reduce the heat that had flowed to my cheeks. My heart was on a race against it's own self, and it was almost dizzying.I turned around. He had gone into the kitchen. I turned and walked around the sitting room, touching the small figurines arranged on the desk. The small shelf to the left was filled with books I could never dream of reading. Science books and things I have never seen before.I stood up and went further around the house, remembering that it was indeed his father's. The man who had brought me back here. The man who could undo all of this.I walked around the rooms. They were mostly normal, and I could tell which one Luke stayed in.The last room looked a little abandoned, though and I walked to it. The door knocked came open immediately I pushed down, and I slowly walked in, assessing the place. It looked like an old study that had been cleared out, except for a few papers strewn around, and not much else.I bent to pick one of the papers

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2022-10-20

  • Through the Threads of Time   Something Else

    "W..what weird thing?" I asked, swallowing. He shrugged and leaned away. "Well...it feels like we are friends, then when you look at us well enough, you know more about me than I do about you. It's like there is something missing...but at the same time it works."I wallowed. "Maybe because you never asked."He turned to me, his eyes filled with a mischievous humor. "Well now I am asking. Or I want to, if you would let me."For some reason, I felt like we deviated a little from the topic and I cleared my throat nervously."What would you like to know?"He looked up, then came to me and helped me off the work table, his hand lingering on mine a little longer than normal. He took the tray he laid out for both of us, and he stepped behind me as we made it to the sitting room.He set up slow music in the background then sat on the floor. I naturally sat opposite him with the tray between us."What do you think of me?" He suddenly asked, looking ahead.I watched his profile, then bit dow

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2022-10-20

  • Through the Threads of Time   Love?

    I swallowed, then took a step backwards, my back hitting the door. I blinked as he came forward, his hair covering part of his eyes.We were both soaking wet and dripping and he gave a small smile. "Is this..." he started to say, then looked down across my face, then back up. "The part where we kiss?"I bit down on my lips, my breath stopping in my throat. He leaned forward, his hand on the door beside me, until his face was a mere eyelash away from me.I swallowed, his eyes holding mine in place. They were dark, and the intensity in them knocked my breath out of me.He looked down at my lips again, briefly breaking our eye contact, then looked back up to me."Are you enthralled enough?" he asked again, his eyes darting across both of mine, as if he needed to take note of each and everything that might pass by in my gaze.I swallowed again, blinking. He smiled and leaned away from me, then got a towel from the small cabinet. He then wrapped the towel around me, then opened the door

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2022-10-20

  • Through the Threads of Time   Forehead Kisses, Breakfast and A Solemn Wish

    I woke up first, but Luke was sleeping too, facing me, his face a little above mine so his lips were exactly on my forehead. I didn't want to make things awkward, so I laid back, closing my eyes like I was asleep. I heard as he stirred, but didn't quite wake till some minutes later. I heard him give a soft groan as he woke up. He took a few seconds, before I heard him chuckle a little.His fingers tucked a few strands of my hair away, but then lingered a little, tracing the shape of my brows, then my nose, then my lips. As if he was trying to memorize my face.I tried hard to stay still, partly not to make him embarrassed, and mostly because I enjoyed the attention, but convincing myself that I was unaware. It made it easier to live in the moment, and not worry about temporality.Slowly, I felt him move closer and hold my hand a little, his fingers slowly massaged mine, and I heard him chuckle again."How is she so beautiful when she's sleeping?"I fought hard to keep the blush dow

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2022-10-20

  • Through the Threads of Time   Falling

    Luke watched me keenly as I walked around, making sure I don't forget anything. I knew I didn't have much to forget, I just wanted to stay a little longer. It would be weird for me to stay, but I knew I didn't want to leave either."Do you really have to leave?" he said, walking up to me. He looked downcast, and his eyes bored into mine."I can't stay, Luke. I have other things to do."He blinked and gave a small sigh. "Just until evening?"I shook my head. "Sorry, Luke."He gave a small smile of defeat and nodded. "It's fine. Nothing to apologize for. I had a great time thanks to you."I smiled and he walked away to pack the cookies he said he would, even though I wasn't sure I would have the appetite to eat them now.I swallowed as he came back, then handed it to me. I stretched my hand to collect it, but he moved it away and pulled me to him instead. He held me in his arms, and I naturally buried my face in his shoulder. He felt warm and nice, and I perceived the beautiful scent

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2022-10-20

  • Through the Threads of Time   A Love so Painful

    Luke watched me, a deep, swirling emotion filling his eyes as he did. I managed a small, breathless smile.I am falling for him. For a man who's dead. Falling for the image of him from seven years into the past.He mirrored my smile, and I immediately turned away. If I sat there watching him smile, watching his orbs, I couldn't trust myself to be rational. I opened the car door and went out, holding the cookies and my purse, my walk a little staggered."Take care, Karla." He called after me and I nodded and waved, then ran into my house. I closed the door behind me and leaned on it, closing my eyes and letting go of the purse and everything else. "What do I do?" I asked myself, my heart fluttering hard. I could still feel the tingles his lips had left on the side of my lips, the tingles his touch left in my hand, the butterflies his gaze left in my stomach. I let myself reach the ground and I brought ny knees to myself, hugging myself. I can't do this. I can't break my own heart

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2022-10-20

  • Through the Threads of Time   Sunsets With a Chance of Heartbreak

    I let myself slowly sink to the floor as I heard Luke backing out of the front porch. I could feel my heart breaking even before I could let myself be in love with him, the pain filling my mind before I even let the love begin.But that was how we were bound to end up. In pain, in love, in sadness, and in hurt. This was a love story that could never happen, a love story we shouldn't even begin.But he didn't know that. To him, I was just a girl who was here, who helped him, and who, he, probably, slowly, felt something for.I swallowed as Bernice came out of my room and she folded her hands, her eyes watching me sympathetically."Are you that in love?" I looked up to her and shook my head using the back of my hands to wipe my tears away."I have never seen you cry twice for anything. Not me, not your parents...nothing and no one. But you can't even stop crying now."I looked up at her, my chest heaving. "What do I do?"She looked at me with all the seriousness in the world. "Go be

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2022-10-20

  • Through the Threads of Time   More

    I left the window side and walked back to my bed, feeling like it was the only thing I could do. I felt weak to my toes, and I wondered how Luke would be feeling too. He was shut off by me, and then bashed by my friend, he has the wake of his father to think about...I sighed and reached for my phone. There was no message and it made me sigh again. Maybe I should call him, but I wasn't even sure I knew what to say.Hey, sorry about my friend, but she doesn't know what's between us.I swallowed. Between us?I lowered my head and dropped my phone when it started to ring again. I immediately picked it up, and then pressed it to my ear, my heart beat accelerating rapidly."Karla? Is that you?"I swallowed, the sound of his voice filling my ears. I nodded. "Yes."He went silent for a while. "Did you miss the sunset?"I closed my eyes. "Yes."Another silence. "Luke, I...""Is something wrong with me? Something you are not telling me?""Why?" I asked, my lips parting."I just...after the pho

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2022-10-20

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  • Through the Threads of Time   Epilogue; Te Quiero Mucho

    I stood in front of the spot where Luke's grave had once been, this time instead of the knitted brows and expressionless coldness, I had a small smile playing on my lips, thinking of how far I have come. As a person. As a wife.I smiled again, raising my head to the small tapping sound of a walking stick."Seeing how you are looking at that blank space and smiling like that, I bet it had been well for you." The man I now know to be Mr. McGregor said, his smile knowing.I nodded. "I couldn't think of anywhere to find you, and I thought of here. Where we first met.""Miss the mad man?" He teased and I laughed."How is my son?" He asked once the laughter died down, a hint of seriousness in his tone.I turned to him, squinting against the bright sun rays. "He is perfect. Luke is perfect."He broke into a big satisfied smile, then nodded. "I know. He takes after me. Without the flaws.""I think you are not that bad too."He turned to me. "You seem to have learnt a little too much. But then

  • Through the Threads of Time   November Rain

    I felt tears well up in my eyes again, and I slowly reached for the phone. My hand was trembling badly, and I had to hold it down with my other hand. I picked it up, then brought the phone to my ear, tears already streaming down.It was still raining outside, and I kept my eyes on the drops that stayed on the glass window, as I spoke into the phone."Hello?" My voice shook, and I closed my eyes. "Who is this?"I knew who to expect. The man that would report Luke's accident to me, and the hospital he was rushed to. Then I would run out the house only to meet him dead."Karla?"My brows furrowed at the sound. Even over the static and the heavy rain, I could tell who it was, well enough."Karla, this is Karla, right?"My brows furrowed even more as I clutched the phone to my ear. "Luke?""Oh, thank Goodness gracious. I guess I was so out of it earlier when I was about to leave, and I forgot the documents meant for the meeting on the bed. Did you see it?"My eyes widened as I slowly turne

  • Through the Threads of Time   The Call

    I watched Luke as he slowly went back to eating and a small smile spread my lips. Of course. It was because he had bought it for me.We ate in silence, and once we were done, without letting me even have the chance to protest, he packed the plates up, then headed straight for the kitchen.I followed behind him, and just like I used to do when he baked back then, I pushed myself on to the island and sat, my feet hanging downwards.He looked at me once and I smiled at him. He smiled back, a little sheepishly however, then returned to his chore. It will take some time for me to adjust to the fact that he wasn't in love with me now."You won't go to work today?" He suddenly asked, raising a brow to me.I shook my head immediately, I didn't even need to think about it. "I am going to take a lazy day and...spend it getting to know you better."He looked at me, like I was ssome alien."What?" I asked, laughing a little."I will need some time to get accustomed to you being like this with me.

  • Through the Threads of Time   Miracles and Necklaces

    Luke watched me like he wasn't sure what I was about, but he let me skim my hands over his face, feeling his skin open up under my palm."Was it a bad dream?" he asked slowly, before pulling away from me. He didn't go too far, and I lowered my head, my hair falling in front of me."No, I just...like, the past few months were wrong. On my part...the silence we subjected each other to and the loneliness...everything Luke. They were wrong. Of me. They were wrong. That we both were thrown into this without actually...knowing what to do with this situation. I don't hate you, I could never, I just...we both didn't deserve this."He bit down on his lips. "I know. But it's not us. The situation is...weird. We found ourselves in this marriage and...""I want to make this work." I said, looking up to him, my trembling hands coming to my face to slowly wipe it away. When I dropped my hands, I could still feel the moisture under my eyes.Without a word, Luke brought his thumbs under my eyes and

  • Through the Threads of Time   Let Me Do More

    My heart beat picked up, my eyes feeling with hot tears. My lips parted slowly as the memory came flashing back, painfully.I rushed down the stairs once I heard that clatter, my eyes rolling a little as I passed by the large kitchen door without even turning back."Karla?"I rolled my eyes and turned, a deep exasperated breath escaping my lips. "Yes, Luke?""Well, I....""I have work to go to."He looked at me, his expression unreadable. Like he was trying hard to understand me, to tolerate me, but he was finding it too hard."Karla, I was hoping...I was hoping we could..""I know. You are still finding it hard to adjust to this. So am I, really. I don't understand why I have to wake up. To you. Everyday. That stare. Everyday."His lips parted, and his hands lowered, but I never looked down to see what he was holding."Karla, it's not...""I am tired of it too. I have things to do at the office. Later.""Karla.""I'm busy!"He flinched, but said nothing as I walked away through the

  • Through the Threads of Time   November 13

    I sat up, my chest heaving hard. My eyes stung hard, my body feeling weak. My hands were wrapped in a cross around me as I held I and Luke's wedding picture to my chest.My eyes fell on a dark brown book sitting next to the bedside lamp. I propped myself on all fours and took the book, then slowly let down the picture.It was Luke's diary. The same one he had used seven years ago. The same one I had read in the past. I swallowed hard, feeling my eyes moisten up again.I opened the first page. Most of it was the same. The problems with his mother. His father's death...the only difference was that, there were absolutely no traces of me. Nothing at all.My eyes welled up more as I flipped the pages hard, till I got to a certain page. July 17th, 2022. The day we had gotten married.I swallowed as my fingers moved to let me read Luke's words on the marriage."I got married. I can hardly believe it, but I did get married. I never did believe in finding someone I would love, but marrying

  • Through the Threads of Time   Infinite

    "My love."It's Luke."Karla?"His black eyes came into slow view, and the edges crinkled as a small light twinkled between them. It is me. I put those lights in there."You are beautiful."He slowly leaned in, his lips brushing mine lightly. He leaned back as a strand of my hair fell on my face and we both laughed. His voice. Beautiful.He moved the strand away, the tips of his fingers teasing my face."I love you, Karla."But I don't get to respond. He doesn't let me. He covered the distant between us and kissed me, making me forget my years of loneliness. Making me forget the times I had hated him."Do you believe in forever?""As long as forever is with you."His hands were outstretched towards me, his smile big as I ran to him. I could hear his faint voice. I could see his one sided dimple. "Karla!"The way he called my name..."My love."My eyelashes fluttered slowly as the images slowly disappeared into darkness. My eyes slowly opened, and I could already feel the wetness in m

  • Through the Threads of Time   The Last Sunset

    "Luke?" "Yes, love?"Do you perhaps, want to go in the sun? I want to spend the whole day outside.""You don't seem to like bikes, though?"I cuddled closer, my hand moving the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. "No, love. I want to spend the whole day out in the park." He looked down at me, his eyes still half closed from sleep. He smiled a little, then nodded.I gave a small sigh and leaned back down, feeling his chest. I could feel it in me. These moments that feel like treasure...they are the very last. Maybe I wasn't supposed to make peace with everyone from my past. Maybe just this is enough. I sighed and pulled away from Luke who had fallen asleep again. I then went to the shower. It was already morning, probably the last morning of the past. I could almost feel it in my bones that these were the last moments. Like when your body tells you when you are about to lose someone close. I wish my body had told me, then. I hate that my body is telling me now. I stepped i

  • Through the Threads of Time   Do You Believe In Forever?

    I sat in the cab, my eyes swollen and red, as I watched Luke's house. I couldn't see him, but it was bright in there, like there was a party or something.I swallowed, feeling a lump rise in my throat all over again. Luke. That name will haunt me forever.I stepped out of the cab slowly, then walked to the front door. I didn't need to knock, and I just opened the door, then stepped in.The strong aroma of baking hit my nose, and it only cause the tears to well up more. Without a word, I went to his room, and then straight to the shower.I closed my eyes as the warm water hit my skin, my eyes starting to feel again. Can my heart....really go on?"Karla? Is that you?" I heard from outside as the door closed."I just wanted to take a shower. I will be out soon."There was a bit of silence. "You don't need to. I'll join you."I said nothing, and I heard the door open slowly, before Luke stepped in, still in his robe."Did something happen?" he whispered, coming close to me. I closed m

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