I sat up, my chest heaving hard. My eyes stung hard, my body feeling weak. My hands were wrapped in a cross around me as I held I and Luke's wedding picture to my chest.My eyes fell on a dark brown book sitting next to the bedside lamp. I propped myself on all fours and took the book, then slowly let down the picture.It was Luke's diary. The same one he had used seven years ago. The same one I had read in the past. I swallowed hard, feeling my eyes moisten up again.I opened the first page. Most of it was the same. The problems with his mother. His father's death...the only difference was that, there were absolutely no traces of me. Nothing at all.My eyes welled up more as I flipped the pages hard, till I got to a certain page. July 17th, 2022. The day we had gotten married.I swallowed as my fingers moved to let me read Luke's words on the marriage."I got married. I can hardly believe it, but I did get married. I never did believe in finding someone I would love, but marrying
My heart beat picked up, my eyes feeling with hot tears. My lips parted slowly as the memory came flashing back, painfully.I rushed down the stairs once I heard that clatter, my eyes rolling a little as I passed by the large kitchen door without even turning back."Karla?"I rolled my eyes and turned, a deep exasperated breath escaping my lips. "Yes, Luke?""Well, I....""I have work to go to."He looked at me, his expression unreadable. Like he was trying hard to understand me, to tolerate me, but he was finding it too hard."Karla, I was hoping...I was hoping we could..""I know. You are still finding it hard to adjust to this. So am I, really. I don't understand why I have to wake up. To you. Everyday. That stare. Everyday."His lips parted, and his hands lowered, but I never looked down to see what he was holding."Karla, it's not...""I am tired of it too. I have things to do at the office. Later.""Karla.""I'm busy!"He flinched, but said nothing as I walked away through the
Luke watched me like he wasn't sure what I was about, but he let me skim my hands over his face, feeling his skin open up under my palm."Was it a bad dream?" he asked slowly, before pulling away from me. He didn't go too far, and I lowered my head, my hair falling in front of me."No, I just...like, the past few months were wrong. On my part...the silence we subjected each other to and the loneliness...everything Luke. They were wrong. Of me. They were wrong. That we both were thrown into this without actually...knowing what to do with this situation. I don't hate you, I could never, I just...we both didn't deserve this."He bit down on his lips. "I know. But it's not us. The situation is...weird. We found ourselves in this marriage and...""I want to make this work." I said, looking up to him, my trembling hands coming to my face to slowly wipe it away. When I dropped my hands, I could still feel the moisture under my eyes.Without a word, Luke brought his thumbs under my eyes and
I watched Luke as he slowly went back to eating and a small smile spread my lips. Of course. It was because he had bought it for me.We ate in silence, and once we were done, without letting me even have the chance to protest, he packed the plates up, then headed straight for the kitchen.I followed behind him, and just like I used to do when he baked back then, I pushed myself on to the island and sat, my feet hanging downwards.He looked at me once and I smiled at him. He smiled back, a little sheepishly however, then returned to his chore. It will take some time for me to adjust to the fact that he wasn't in love with me now."You won't go to work today?" He suddenly asked, raising a brow to me.I shook my head immediately, I didn't even need to think about it. "I am going to take a lazy day and...spend it getting to know you better."He looked at me, like I was ssome alien."What?" I asked, laughing a little."I will need some time to get accustomed to you being like this with me.
I felt tears well up in my eyes again, and I slowly reached for the phone. My hand was trembling badly, and I had to hold it down with my other hand. I picked it up, then brought the phone to my ear, tears already streaming down.It was still raining outside, and I kept my eyes on the drops that stayed on the glass window, as I spoke into the phone."Hello?" My voice shook, and I closed my eyes. "Who is this?"I knew who to expect. The man that would report Luke's accident to me, and the hospital he was rushed to. Then I would run out the house only to meet him dead."Karla?"My brows furrowed at the sound. Even over the static and the heavy rain, I could tell who it was, well enough."Karla, this is Karla, right?"My brows furrowed even more as I clutched the phone to my ear. "Luke?""Oh, thank Goodness gracious. I guess I was so out of it earlier when I was about to leave, and I forgot the documents meant for the meeting on the bed. Did you see it?"My eyes widened as I slowly turne
I stood in front of the spot where Luke's grave had once been, this time instead of the knitted brows and expressionless coldness, I had a small smile playing on my lips, thinking of how far I have come. As a person. As a wife.I smiled again, raising my head to the small tapping sound of a walking stick."Seeing how you are looking at that blank space and smiling like that, I bet it had been well for you." The man I now know to be Mr. McGregor said, his smile knowing.I nodded. "I couldn't think of anywhere to find you, and I thought of here. Where we first met.""Miss the mad man?" He teased and I laughed."How is my son?" He asked once the laughter died down, a hint of seriousness in his tone.I turned to him, squinting against the bright sun rays. "He is perfect. Luke is perfect."He broke into a big satisfied smile, then nodded. "I know. He takes after me. Without the flaws.""I think you are not that bad too."He turned to me. "You seem to have learnt a little too much. But then
I stood beside the open coffin, looking at the face of the man I had been married to. Our marriage had taken place months ago in this same church and now I was back here, this time with him lying stiff and cold.But, I wasn't the young widow you would expect. In fact, I was very far from it. I watched the coffin with a raised brow and clear eyes, with no traces of tears in my eyes.It had been an arranged marriage back then. None of us liked each other, or even wanted to give each other a chance. We ignore each other at home, and when I mistakenly crossed his path, he made sure I never did it again.I remembered the first time we went out together before the marriage, and we ordered food at a French restaurant. I was eating, since none of us felt like saying anything to the other, we had completely given our food all the attention. Until he suddenly stood and asked for the bill.The waiter came with the bill and he paid it, then looked up at me. "Finish your meal and go back home.
I dropped the rose into the grave as the coffin was lowered, six feet under. That was the end of it. My marriage, my husband and the life we had built. A life of silence, but a life nonetheless.I stayed back, long after everyone left. His mother, my mother in-law, Mrs. Catherina was bedridden as she had fainted from the news of the sudden death of her son. Some had gone to stay with her at the hospital, while non-family members had gone back home.He, and everything he used to be was now only a cold stone. Nothing else."Do you really think so?" A hoarse voice said next to me as I heard the small beating sound of a walking stick. I looked up to the person that had spoken, but he was not someone I knew. He was old, and had a smile that boldly said, 'I know something you dont.'"Do I really think what?"He shrugged. "That this is the end?" He asked."Is it not? Will he be in bed tomorrow morning when I wake up looking at me like I forced him to marry me?""Have you really never lov
I stood in front of the spot where Luke's grave had once been, this time instead of the knitted brows and expressionless coldness, I had a small smile playing on my lips, thinking of how far I have come. As a person. As a wife.I smiled again, raising my head to the small tapping sound of a walking stick."Seeing how you are looking at that blank space and smiling like that, I bet it had been well for you." The man I now know to be Mr. McGregor said, his smile knowing.I nodded. "I couldn't think of anywhere to find you, and I thought of here. Where we first met.""Miss the mad man?" He teased and I laughed."How is my son?" He asked once the laughter died down, a hint of seriousness in his tone.I turned to him, squinting against the bright sun rays. "He is perfect. Luke is perfect."He broke into a big satisfied smile, then nodded. "I know. He takes after me. Without the flaws.""I think you are not that bad too."He turned to me. "You seem to have learnt a little too much. But then
I felt tears well up in my eyes again, and I slowly reached for the phone. My hand was trembling badly, and I had to hold it down with my other hand. I picked it up, then brought the phone to my ear, tears already streaming down.It was still raining outside, and I kept my eyes on the drops that stayed on the glass window, as I spoke into the phone."Hello?" My voice shook, and I closed my eyes. "Who is this?"I knew who to expect. The man that would report Luke's accident to me, and the hospital he was rushed to. Then I would run out the house only to meet him dead."Karla?"My brows furrowed at the sound. Even over the static and the heavy rain, I could tell who it was, well enough."Karla, this is Karla, right?"My brows furrowed even more as I clutched the phone to my ear. "Luke?""Oh, thank Goodness gracious. I guess I was so out of it earlier when I was about to leave, and I forgot the documents meant for the meeting on the bed. Did you see it?"My eyes widened as I slowly turne
I watched Luke as he slowly went back to eating and a small smile spread my lips. Of course. It was because he had bought it for me.We ate in silence, and once we were done, without letting me even have the chance to protest, he packed the plates up, then headed straight for the kitchen.I followed behind him, and just like I used to do when he baked back then, I pushed myself on to the island and sat, my feet hanging downwards.He looked at me once and I smiled at him. He smiled back, a little sheepishly however, then returned to his chore. It will take some time for me to adjust to the fact that he wasn't in love with me now."You won't go to work today?" He suddenly asked, raising a brow to me.I shook my head immediately, I didn't even need to think about it. "I am going to take a lazy day and...spend it getting to know you better."He looked at me, like I was ssome alien."What?" I asked, laughing a little."I will need some time to get accustomed to you being like this with me.
Luke watched me like he wasn't sure what I was about, but he let me skim my hands over his face, feeling his skin open up under my palm."Was it a bad dream?" he asked slowly, before pulling away from me. He didn't go too far, and I lowered my head, my hair falling in front of me."No, I just...like, the past few months were wrong. On my part...the silence we subjected each other to and the loneliness...everything Luke. They were wrong. Of me. They were wrong. That we both were thrown into this without actually...knowing what to do with this situation. I don't hate you, I could never, I just...we both didn't deserve this."He bit down on his lips. "I know. But it's not us. The situation is...weird. We found ourselves in this marriage and...""I want to make this work." I said, looking up to him, my trembling hands coming to my face to slowly wipe it away. When I dropped my hands, I could still feel the moisture under my eyes.Without a word, Luke brought his thumbs under my eyes and
My heart beat picked up, my eyes feeling with hot tears. My lips parted slowly as the memory came flashing back, painfully.I rushed down the stairs once I heard that clatter, my eyes rolling a little as I passed by the large kitchen door without even turning back."Karla?"I rolled my eyes and turned, a deep exasperated breath escaping my lips. "Yes, Luke?""Well, I....""I have work to go to."He looked at me, his expression unreadable. Like he was trying hard to understand me, to tolerate me, but he was finding it too hard."Karla, I was hoping...I was hoping we could..""I know. You are still finding it hard to adjust to this. So am I, really. I don't understand why I have to wake up. To you. Everyday. That stare. Everyday."His lips parted, and his hands lowered, but I never looked down to see what he was holding."Karla, it's not...""I am tired of it too. I have things to do at the office. Later.""Karla.""I'm busy!"He flinched, but said nothing as I walked away through the
I sat up, my chest heaving hard. My eyes stung hard, my body feeling weak. My hands were wrapped in a cross around me as I held I and Luke's wedding picture to my chest.My eyes fell on a dark brown book sitting next to the bedside lamp. I propped myself on all fours and took the book, then slowly let down the picture.It was Luke's diary. The same one he had used seven years ago. The same one I had read in the past. I swallowed hard, feeling my eyes moisten up again.I opened the first page. Most of it was the same. The problems with his mother. His father's death...the only difference was that, there were absolutely no traces of me. Nothing at all.My eyes welled up more as I flipped the pages hard, till I got to a certain page. July 17th, 2022. The day we had gotten married.I swallowed as my fingers moved to let me read Luke's words on the marriage."I got married. I can hardly believe it, but I did get married. I never did believe in finding someone I would love, but marrying
"My love."It's Luke."Karla?"His black eyes came into slow view, and the edges crinkled as a small light twinkled between them. It is me. I put those lights in there."You are beautiful."He slowly leaned in, his lips brushing mine lightly. He leaned back as a strand of my hair fell on my face and we both laughed. His voice. Beautiful.He moved the strand away, the tips of his fingers teasing my face."I love you, Karla."But I don't get to respond. He doesn't let me. He covered the distant between us and kissed me, making me forget my years of loneliness. Making me forget the times I had hated him."Do you believe in forever?""As long as forever is with you."His hands were outstretched towards me, his smile big as I ran to him. I could hear his faint voice. I could see his one sided dimple. "Karla!"The way he called my name..."My love."My eyelashes fluttered slowly as the images slowly disappeared into darkness. My eyes slowly opened, and I could already feel the wetness in m
"Luke?" "Yes, love?"Do you perhaps, want to go in the sun? I want to spend the whole day outside.""You don't seem to like bikes, though?"I cuddled closer, my hand moving the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. "No, love. I want to spend the whole day out in the park." He looked down at me, his eyes still half closed from sleep. He smiled a little, then nodded.I gave a small sigh and leaned back down, feeling his chest. I could feel it in me. These moments that feel like treasure...they are the very last. Maybe I wasn't supposed to make peace with everyone from my past. Maybe just this is enough. I sighed and pulled away from Luke who had fallen asleep again. I then went to the shower. It was already morning, probably the last morning of the past. I could almost feel it in my bones that these were the last moments. Like when your body tells you when you are about to lose someone close. I wish my body had told me, then. I hate that my body is telling me now. I stepped i
I sat in the cab, my eyes swollen and red, as I watched Luke's house. I couldn't see him, but it was bright in there, like there was a party or something.I swallowed, feeling a lump rise in my throat all over again. Luke. That name will haunt me forever.I stepped out of the cab slowly, then walked to the front door. I didn't need to knock, and I just opened the door, then stepped in.The strong aroma of baking hit my nose, and it only cause the tears to well up more. Without a word, I went to his room, and then straight to the shower.I closed my eyes as the warm water hit my skin, my eyes starting to feel again. Can my heart....really go on?"Karla? Is that you?" I heard from outside as the door closed."I just wanted to take a shower. I will be out soon."There was a bit of silence. "You don't need to. I'll join you."I said nothing, and I heard the door open slowly, before Luke stepped in, still in his robe."Did something happen?" he whispered, coming close to me. I closed m