The glass suddenly falls shattering. That sound made me get out of my deep thoughts. Hah, this is a mess.
“Sorry… I didn’t mean to…”
Shaking my head, I saw my hands near the glass. For some reason, I know it was me who did that but can’t admit it to myself. Am I scared? Of my own image? Or am I… scared of the fact that I know nothing at all?
Ever since I was a little, I can’t deny the fact that I am so self-centered. That… I am so good at not looking through things so much. But… I don’t know why. Just seeing my own reflections makes me be reminded of that. They all look so real. As if… it isn’t just my imagination.
This is weird, why am I being weird…
“Kianna? Hey, I’ve been calling your name for a while. Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
Looking at Drake whose face is full of worries, for some reason I feel my eyes getting warm. His facial expression changed. Is he alright?
And all I can remember is him hugging me while I was sobbing till I slept.
‘I am not sure when will she be okay. But just to remind you, there is nothing wrong with your wife. It is just that, some things trigger her trauma. All you have to do is make her feel loved. Make her feel that she is not alone. She has gone through lots of things just by learning about her condition. And you are the only one that can do that. I prescribed some medicine that would help her calm her mind and let her have a good sleep. If you would excuse me’
‘Thank you, Gion, I mean doc’
‘You don’t look that good too. You should take some good rest too Drake. Call me if anything else happens. Even if I am busy, I will surely make time’
‘You are really a great help’
‘Just paying back what I owe you. And also, isn’t this what friends are supposed to do?’
‘Yeah, thanks again’
I could hear how someone was talking. But I can’t clearly hear it at all. My mind is so blurry. As if… I want to wake up yet I can’t open my eyes.
‘Love, I hope you feel better soon’
I heard Drake mumble. It is clearer than last time. It is a bit loud too. Enough for me to hear it. maybe that is because he was just beside me?
‘Just… what should I do just to make you be okay? If only I can shoulder all your problems then you won’t be hurt like this…’
What is he talking about? It is not as if he did something bad. There are things out of control and we can’t change it no matter what-
Change…
‘I thought this time would be better but, why are you still in pain? What caused you to have such worries? Is it that damn Marco? Or is it that shitty Francis?’
Wait, really, what is he talking about? Why did Marco and Francis become part of this?
What is… exactly happening?
But among those worries, what Drake said scares the hell out of me.‘If they are the one that makes you this worried… will you be fine as long as they are gone?’
It was a side of Drake that I never knew. Am I scared of the fact that he is like that? or am I scared because it seems like I am the one who made him be like that?
Before I can even open my eyes… that voice I keep hearing at night echoed in my ears.
‘Kianna’
‘Kianna’Calling my name as if they are summoning me. Calling me again and again, making me have no choice but to do what they want.
Wosh
My eyes opened, it was so real that I felt like I really did wake up. And again… I am here in the place I am so scared of.
‘This is just a dream’
‘This is just a dream’‘This is just a dream’I keep on chanting but just like all those nights, I can control my body yet I can’t control where I am. I want to get out of here, I want to leave. But… just like those nights, they are hindering me from doing so!‘This is not a dream, Kianna’
A word escapes from the one behind me. I dare not look. It is so weird to see myself talking to myself. It feels like I am getting insane. Or maybe I am… this is bad. Am I turning crazy?
Drake…. Help me… please…
‘You always rely on him. You always do’
Someone talked from afar. And… just like the one behind me, they look alike so much.
‘Do you think things will be solved if you keep on hiding? Do you think things will go the way you want it to be?’
What are they talking about?
‘Kianna, don’t act dumb. I know you are aware of it, we know it’
One, two, three, four, just how many other Kianna are there?
Falling on my knees, I think I would go insane if I stayed any longer.
‘You have to do something, Kianna. That is if you don’t want to end up like me…’
Why? What happened to you?
Looking at the one that was behind me just a while ago, she was kneeling facing me. Cupping my cheeks she smiles bitterly.
‘Weird things happen, things you can’t explain. But Kianna… you have to do something. Remember… remember it’
And a blinding light then falls upon my sight. Making me wonder what were those things.
Cupping my cheeks… that felt so real.
But there is something I will never forget. Her eyes… why does it look as if she was in despair? What happened to her? And what are the things she told me?
Remember? Remember what?
Do something? What should I do?
Standing up, no matter how much I tried to sleep back and meet them again, I kept on failing. How funny. It was I who didn’t want to see them yet here I am wanting to meet them again.
“What is wrong with me?”
Drake? Where is Drake?
Looking around, the house feels so empty. He is not in the kitchen or bathroom. Maybe he went somewhere? But what he said that time… he doesn’t mean it… right?For some reason, I had the urge to open my laptop. It is not that I want to hear some news of something… but the last tab opened, it was about the recent news… and the moment I read the latest reports… my blood turned cold.
“Dad… he is… dead?”
No matter how much I hate my father because of what he did, I will not deny the fact that I still love him after all of that. I did wish for him to just vanish before… after getting that much hatred but… those are the times that I do not mean what I was saying. I did wish for it but I don’t really mean it… To think that the day would come when he would really be… dead… “Hello? Shaun? Shaun?? Do you hear me?” Calling Shaun, among anyone else, he was one of those who knew what was really happening. Like, he would surely have intel if my father was just faking his death just like me, right? Because if it was him, he should know… [Kianna? Why did you call? Make it quick] He sounds so annoyed but I understand. He is busy too, I know that. But I just really need to know what the truth is… I need to know… “Is it fake news? I mean, I heard that my father is dead, it can be a case just like me. Right? He is faking it, right?” Silence, that is what I heard on the other line. My hand tha
“Mom” I am looking at the back of my mother as she is staring out the window. Drake postponed his work just so he could be with me when I visited my mom. I told him I would be fine but after what happened that time, he dared not leave me alone. He insists on going with me which I also want to happen. I am not sure if it was for me or for him but… staying by each other’s side… I am sure it would be better for the two of us. “Kianna” Looking at me, I saw how my mom smiled so sweetly. As if she was forcing herself to do so. Now that I remember, she does smile like this even before. How foolish of me to not notice. Drake let go of my hand letting me come rushing towards her. “Mom…” I mumbled as I hugged her so tight. But all she did was pat the back of me to let me calm down. “Shhh” How painful it is for her? To get betrayed by her husband like that. to have her daughter fake her death just because the bastard of his husband attempts to kill her only child? I wonder… I wond
[Hera, I heard you are back in the country. How are you doing?] “Patrish, did you really call me just to say that?” [Um, yep? It’s been so long since I last saw you. I want us to have a reunion again… if it is alright] Holding her phone, Hera was pouring coffee into her cup. Wearing a white long sleeve, she tops it with a black cardigan with knee length. “I have to pass for now. Still have something I have to do” Taking a sip, she heard the fuming sound on the other line. Indeed, Patrish wants to see her so badly. [But Hera… I will be at my uncle’s funeral. Are you sure you are not coming?] The sound of the taxi honking was then heard. Enough for the two of them to hear it. [Seems like you got to go] “Yeah” [Tch, just as I thought. You would use that excuse. But Hera… I really wish to meet you soon.] Slightly laughing at what she heard, Hera then picked up her things. “Making a wish? Are you a kid? But bye, gotta go” As soon as the door closes, she drops the call. Headin
“Hi, do I know you?” I am thankful I didn’t stutter. Luckily, I was able to get a hold of myself. But… I didn’t know I would see Hera here so soon. Is she with Patrish and the others? For sure most of them would be here since they are related to my father. Specially Patrish and Scott. But… How should I face them? I planned to be here just to see what bullshit it is but… yeah I did expect to see some familiar faces… But never once did I think that they would talk to me. They don’t even know me. And… I mean… “I don’t think so… but, I don’t know where I have seen your face and…” “And…?” What is she trying to say? And where is Jena? She is just right here… “Nothing, I just thought you do look familiar but… well, never mind that” Holding a bouquet of white flowers, how funny. I am the daughter yet I didn’t even bring anything at all… But am I that bad to not feel like doing so? I smile back to Hera and nod my head. “Sorry but I have to go, it is nice meeting you” With my voice,
“I was also shocked when I saw him… but ever since that incident he never wakes up” Shaun stated. Standing as he had his way to see his father. I can clearly see how big his eye bags are. I bet he also had a hard time… after all… I know that it is just the two of them after he lost his mother. “What did the doctor tell you? Is there really no way to help him?” Hearing how there was a brief silence, Drake was there to hold my hand. Thankfully he was there… it is always him supporting me… “They did what they could, but even the most advanced technology we had couldn’t do any help at all. He needs time to get well. And if there is a miracle… he can wake up” “A miracle?” So that is how bad Mr. Sebas’s situation is?? But… I heard it was an accident, how can it be this severe? “And there was something he said before he finally lost consciousness and fell into a coma” Looking at us, Shaun was never this mad. I saw him like this… “He is dangerous” What does he mean he? Who is he pert
“Yes, yes, I understand that… really, Seki. I know what I am doing” Looking at me with that bored look on her face, I know how much she doesn’t have a single trust in the words I have said. Although, what I said was true! I know that it was reckless of me to go there… but I need to do that. Or else… Or else I would regret not doing so… “I don’t really understand why you are so thick-headed after all of what happened. But Kianna… I am just worried” Pinching my cheeks, she is like a big sister to me. “Sorry to make you worry” “As if you wouldn’t do it again” I just offer her a smile. Drake is now talking with someone on the phone. I bet it was his employer. Will it really be right that he won’t do that project? But if it is impossible as of now, there is really no reason to keep pursuing it. It takes time… “Seems like you have to go now” She mumbled pointing to Drake. “I need to talk with Mr. Sebas first” There was a frown on her face. Indeed, it isn’t the right term to be use
As soon as we arrived back in the house, I quickly gathered the files I had with me. I also bring my laptop and some other things. Looking at Drake, he is now holding the keys to our car. Smiling at me with that reassuring gaze, I nodded my head. I shouldn’t panic. I can do this. I must… “Let’s go” We are on our way to an apartment named after someone else. Serena’s friend. But in reality, I am the owner of that unit. Drake and I. Just think of it as a disguise. For me to have the chance to meet Serena. Since we all do not know what may happen if anyone finds out that I am still alive. Since I already made up a name as Bea, should I ask Jena to sell me an identity? That would be much easier. It would be easier to move that way. “Kianna, don’t read while we are moving. Or else your eyes would be hurt” “Drake, I need to know the situation right away. Every second counts. Sorry… just… just this time” Putting his hand on my wrist, it made me look at him. he may be staring straight a
“Stay, that is all I need you to do” “Are you fucking out of your mind? You don’t see me as some kind of dog that would stay just because you wanted to, do you?” Full of anger, even though it was just the two of them inside that room, Hera can’t help but feel like something is not right. If before, she would feel comfortable with him, now, it wasn’t the case at all. As if, something inside her was telling her that he was just a piece of bad news. “I don’t even know why I came here after all of that, what a waste of time” About to leave, she was surprised when Marco stopped her with his blunt words. “But you know how much you love to be a dog with me” Eyes widening in anger, she stomps her feet as she slams her hands on his table. Glaring at him as if she would kill him, he is not frightened at all. “I dare you to say that again and I will not fucking tolerate any of your bullshits” “But I am telling the truth, am I not?” Scowling at him, instead of feeling frightened, Marco se
“Congratulations”I look at Francis he hand me an envelope.“Thank you”Looking at it, I look at Drake. Somehow, it surprises me how he looks normal. Well... he did know my past with Francis but I am glad that he have trust in me.“Thank you for coming to our wedding. They said it was thanks to you that Lhanoir agreed in playing the piano for our us. You have my deepest thanks.”The exchange greetings and it just occurs me what they are talking about. Now that I remember it, that sound of the piano, that kind of playing... it was out of ordinary. Who would have thought it was Lhanoir? I admired her when I was young...Now that I think about it... I think Drake told me something about the pianist for our wedding... but I was so sleepy that I didn’t really understand what he was talking about.“You don’t have to thank me. It just happened that I have an acquaintance who is close to her”Blinking my eyes, I look back at Drake and Francis. Slightly giggling, I didn’t think that there would
Right in front of me, I could see far away the figure of Drake standing at the end of the aisle.If I could, I would run to where he is... but that would be funny. How can a slow walk of the bride be a bride running to her groom?That was quite cute but... I can’t help but giggle with what I was thinking.Still, it helps me calm down as I took my step walking closer and closer to where he is.The sound of the piano was so wonderful that I even wonder where that familiar playing was from. But right now, I don’t find the urgency to find out the answer for that.For my mind was filled with nothing but hopes that the carpet I was walking on would bring me quicker to where Drake was.Somehow, Drake’s eyes was locked on mine, that even after I stopped my walk, he didn’t leave his gaze off me.A hand then offered his hands to me. It was grandpa.Dad is not here so grandpa offered to be the one to walk me down the aisle. And I could wish nothing else but this.“You look much more beautiful to
The feeling of losing something important.... the feeling of not being able to do anything for it...I can’t help but feel useless...Those things that I have, I am grateful. But to those things that I let go...I feel like, I am an asshole...Did I really make the right choice?Kianna...She’s been with me ever since. I truly care for her but... I thought... casting her away would be the right choice for her to forget her feelings for me.But... every time... I wonder if I have made the right choice...She was there when I needed her but when she needed me... I cast her away. I push her and avoid her...“Are you finally awake?”“Hmm...”“What’s the matter?”I look at myself in the mirror. Indeed, I also want to ask that to myself. What is the matter with me?“Kieffer, are you all right? Do you want to go to the hospital?”Slightly laughing, I shook my head.“No need Mom, I am fine”No, I am not. I have so many troubles in my head that I want to clear up. It is not like I could say th
There are things we might forget but that doesn’t mean they are no longer important to us.There are times we feel like we know someone when we don’t really even have a bit of conversation with them. Just the feeling of being close to that person for some reason. As if the moment you talk with them, what you can find is nothing but comfort... as if you have known them for so long...There are times that we feel guilty about something we don’t even know. As if we feel so sorry for any trouble we have caused. But when we asked ourselves what that was about... no words came out of our mouths.Weird... yet at the same time, we can’t even say it wasn’t true. For all of it was real and valid.We feel sad for a sudden moment in our lives. And funnily... it is for no reason at all... or maybe there really is a reason behind it but we just don’t really remember. We just don’t really know what the reason behind those tears was...Our minds are blocked from remembering what it really was. As if
They said that dreams are something that we shouldn’t remember. For it was designed to be forgotten once we are awake.But in some rare cases, dreams... make us remember them. To give us a message... to grant us some warnings... realization of something that only our subconscious mind can comprehend.‘I should have known that soul is a disaster’‘Her fragments are scattered... now the timelines are in chaos’‘How can a mere soul do that...’‘... She is not just a mere soul...’‘She got that blessing... even some of the angels bound in the land of mortals helped her...’‘But what would you do now? You finally got her fragments?’‘Why bother asking? There is only one thing to do. Fixed it the way it should be. Each soul must only have one memory of their life. And these two are rare cases that are starting to affect the others’My head hurts...As if... something was taken from inside me...The warmth... that I had in my heart seemed to be leaking out.The moment I opened my eyes, it to
Everything seems to be going with its best flow... with my family, with my career... all of it was in a smooth sail... and who would have thought that... it been months since that incident?Thanks to those memories that I have, I was able to prevent most of the things that might cause a huge problem in this timeline. Weird to say this but most of the scenarios in each life have similarities. Those people around me are the same... and there are just rare cases that their deaths would be different. As if it was their fate... my fate...Still, the fact that not all of them are identical means that changes of the future is still possible. The fact that I can prevent things from happening means that I can change the future I will have either for the better or worst of it.But I do hope that the future will be good to me... To be honest, this life is not just for me alone. It is for me and all of the Kiannas that lived a life before mine.Those things that they weren’t able to do... those w
In the end, I failed to see the photo he took. But he was so happy, I can tell. Well, I would admit, me too… I feel so happy now that we two were able to have this much fun.“Yes, that would be all for today”I mumbled as I shut close the folder I had in my hand. All the files regarding the situations that happened are now updated. I think we’ve fixed almost all of it... well, maybe aside from some minor things. But it shouldn’t be a trouble at all.Letting out a deep sigh, I can’t help but miss my date with Drake. I wonder what he is doing today...Opening my bag, I pick up my phone but...“Huh? This isn’t my phone...”It was Drake’s...Did I end up picking up his phone before heading out? Now that I think about it, our phones were charging closely with each other...“Maybe I did pick it up by mistake... I should call him- no... I should call my phone that is probably with him right now...”I giggled as I realized how clumsy it was to not realized that I took the wrong phone with me.
I do have that question for myself as well.Now that the world finally knows I am dead, would it be… right to announce the truth?That is something I am still not sure.And also… What would happen to the company now… I mean… Dad is not around and my brother- No, what I mean is Marco… he is not even my brother…“Kianna…”Patrish mumbles for the first time.“Whatever it might be… please tell us if you plan something big again…”Smiling bitterly, Patrish looks at me.“We are not just your friends, we are a family too. So we were really hurt when we learned about your death. We are hurt more than you can ever think of…”“Patrish…”“I understand what happened but still, we didn’t like what you did. We are happy that you are back but we feel betrayed…”I nod my head. I know that. I already knew it would be like that and I understand that it was but my fault.“I am really sorry… I know that what I did is wrong. Sorry… really”…After that conversation, I never hear Hera’s voice again. She ref
“Kianna? You are…”“Alive?”Looking at their surprised face, I am not sure of where to start. Should I say hello? Or should I explain things first? I… really don’t know.I can feel my hand turning numb. Joined with my heart that was beating so loud, I couldn’t take it… My head is in a mess. As if I am a device full of things with no storage left. And about to turn weird any time soon.Patrish, Scott, Kyler, Exequiel, and Warren. They all came here to see Hera. And also because of the fact that I send them a message to come here…“Thank you for coming here today…”Patrish could not help but put her hand on her lips. Covering it as she did not remove her eyes from me.“Wait wait wait… I don’t understand… Kianna… is that really you? This is not some kind of a joke, is it? If it is, guys it is not funny at all. Quit it right away!” Exequiel mumbles as he has his hands holding his hair.Still is not sure of what was happening.Still can’t process what the whole situation is all about.“Yes