LOGINShare
Chapter 3
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56“Mom”
I am looking at the back of my mother as she is staring out the window.
Drake postponed his work just so he could be with me when I visited my mom. I told him I would be fine but after what happened that time, he dared not leave me alone. He insists on going with me which I also want to happen.
I am not sure if it was for me or for him but… staying by each other’s side… I am sure it would be better for the two of us.
“Kianna”
Looking at me, I saw how my mom smiled so sweetly. As if she was forcing herself to do so.
Now that I remember, she does smile like this even before. How foolish of me to not notice.
Drake let go of my hand letting me come rushing towards her.
“Mom…”
I mumbled as I hugged her so tight. But all she did was pat the back of me to let me calm down.
“Shhh”
How painful it is for her? To get betrayed by her husband like that. to have her daughter fake her death just because the bastard of his husband attempts to kill her only child? I wonder…
I wonder if it was me, would I be able to live a life like this? Can u even continue to do so? Just thinking about it pains me deeply. How much more would it be for my mother? I can’t help but just smile in return. Trying not to show her how I pity her for I know it would just make her sad.
Everyone is in pain. Everyone is having a hard time too. In this life which I am afraid to call reality… why did this have to happen?
I thought… everything would finally be good. But it turns out it was not the case. It is but wishful thinking that I have. Problems will occur no matter how many problems you solve. That is how life is…
Clenching my hand, I shall stop this.
I can’t help but hate them more. That half-brother of mine. I also hate my father for being the reason for all of this… Acting kindly and living a life like this. He loved that guy even more than my mother and I… this isn’t right. Why is it only him who would be happy? That is not fair at all. I… I can’t forgive him.
“So… you want to know what really happened?”
Nodding my head, I was holding a glass of water. Drake was out there talking with my grandparents.
“Yes… I want to know everything. Mom… please… don’t hide anything from me”
Looking at the necklace hanging on her neck, there was a lonely smile on her face.
As if she was remembering a happy memory that is now filled with nothing but sadness.
“When I married your father, it was one of the best things that happened to me. He gives my life colors. More than what you can ever think”
She started to say as she looked at the necklace she was wearing.
“But… no one is perfect. Even your father has flaws. And I married him ever after knowing his flaws. I love him and I will always will.”
Her smile was genuine. And that just makes me be in pain more. How I wish my mother could live a happy life. A life where she will not face things like this. I wonder if that was possible… how I hope I can make her happy at least…
“He was my first love. But just like I told you before, love is like a berry. And sadly, his love for me is the berry that was crushed into pieces… and if combined with something else… it wasn’t greater than the others. The taste and smell of that berry isn’t enough… since something else was greater than that. Something greater than that berry…”
Smiling bitterly, I clenched the glass I was holding. I hate it. I hate how Mom would be hurt like this… all this time. All this time it seems like she knows about Dad’s affairs. And yet…
“Mom…”
“Yes, I am not your father’s first love. I never was… and will never be… but he loved me. I know he did…”
That sorrow in her eyes… that painful smile… just why… why did I not see it sooner? Just… how long has it been since my mom felt that way? If only I knew… then maybe I would have the chance to make sure she feels that she is not alone…
But I didn’t. I was not aware… and I just ended up giving her more worries than she already has. How foolish of me… how annoying I was if I would think about it more deeply…
Without me knowing, I stood up and put down the glass I was holding. My hands don’t want to hold something like that glass. My mom’s hand… for some reason, I don’t want to let go of it.
“Marco, he was your father’s son… with his first love. He is… also your older brother”
I gasp…
So it… it was…
“Then…”
Slightly nodding her head, she cups my face.
“I am sorry… I didn’t mean to put you in this mess. If only I knew that he already had a child then I should have backed down and let them-“
“No, mom… you did nothing wrong at all. It is not your fault. If… if not for you not giving up then I won’t be here…”
Cupping my face, I can see the pain in my mother’s eyes. I hate it, all I want is for her to be happy…
“I can take every bad thing about me but for you… I will never let that happen. It would break my heart…”
Forcing a smile, again, I am such a crybaby. Really… I am so sick of this. Where did these tears even come from?
“I am sorry to put you in this situation but your father loved you. He really did. I know it”
What Dad did to us is something I can’t just accept right away. It was something that I couldn’t forgive even if he asked for forgiveness. He loves us… but not more than them. He loved you but not as great as how much he loved someone else.
How painful it must have been. To marry the man you love but know that he loves someone else other than you?
Dad gave you so much pain and yet…
And yet here you are… still defending him. mom, you deserve someone better. How can Dad do this to you? You… you don’t deserve it…
No one deserves to have such a fate!
But arguing with that matter will not do you any good. I feel like you would just end up regretting telling this to me. Because you don’t want me to hate my father. But… since the moment he let his son’s hand be cleansed just like that… the fact that he chose him over me… since then I am certain that even if years pass by, I will still hate him.
How can he even do that… to mom… to me…?
“Yes… mom… I know”
He loves me… but he loves Marco the most. After all, he was the child he had with his first love…
But I don’t blame Mom. Even after all of this, I am still happy to be her daughter. It is not her fault…
Kissing my forehead, my mother mumbled.
“But I love you the most. It may not seem like it… forgive your mother for not expressing it. But you will always be… and will forever be my sweet princess”
As if hearing the words she used to tell me when I was a little, I can feel the tears growing on the side of my eyes.
“I love you too, mom”
Is it a magical power that mothers always have? No matter how painful it was for me in those times… I can’t seem to hate her just like I thought I would.
Sweet princess… now that I think about it, I did live like a princess. I was even saved by my prince charming… but… not all princesses can keep on hiding. Letting herself be protected all the time…‘Kianna Amanda…’
I mumbled to myself the moment I left the room.
‘I was never born to be a princess… because I am a Queen. The enduring one…’
...
[Kianna are you out of your freaking mind??! Stay where you are and don’t leave. You hear me?!]
“Seki, you are just overreacting. I told you because I think you would be nearby. You are dating Shaun, right?”
[Yeah, but! Why would you go out without Drake??]
“Jena is with me”
[Jena, you mean that bit- no. Wait for me I will be right there!]
Luckily only I can hear her voice. If Jena heard this, it would be awkward for the two of them. But why is Seki so worried? It is not as if I would push myself in the lion’s den.
I mean… I will just… walk around it.
“Seki, gotta go. The taxi arrived”
[Wait, Kianna!-]
It was my father’s funeral. For sure, he will be there. When I said he… what I mean is… that guy.
My dear older step-brother…
Marco.
Related chapters
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 4
[Hera, I heard you are back in the country. How are you doing?] “Patrish, did you really call me just to say that?” [Um, yep? It’s been so long since I last saw you. I want us to have a reunion again… if it is alright] Holding her phone, Hera was pouring coffee into her cup. Wearing a white long sleeve, she tops it with a black cardigan with knee length. “I have to pass for now. Still have something I have to do” Taking a sip, she heard the fuming sound on the other line. Indeed, Patrish wants to see her so badly. [But Hera… I will be at my uncle’s funeral. Are you sure you are not coming?] The sound of the taxi honking was then heard. Enough for the two of them to hear it. [Seems like you got to go] “Yeah” [Tch, just as I thought. You would use that excuse. But Hera… I really wish to meet you soon.] Slightly laughing at what she heard, Hera then picked up her things. “Making a wish? Are you a kid? But bye, gotta go” As soon as the door closes, she drops the call. Headin
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 5
“Hi, do I know you?” I am thankful I didn’t stutter. Luckily, I was able to get a hold of myself. But… I didn’t know I would see Hera here so soon. Is she with Patrish and the others? For sure most of them would be here since they are related to my father. Specially Patrish and Scott. But… How should I face them? I planned to be here just to see what bullshit it is but… yeah I did expect to see some familiar faces… But never once did I think that they would talk to me. They don’t even know me. And… I mean… “I don’t think so… but, I don’t know where I have seen your face and…” “And…?” What is she trying to say? And where is Jena? She is just right here… “Nothing, I just thought you do look familiar but… well, never mind that” Holding a bouquet of white flowers, how funny. I am the daughter yet I didn’t even bring anything at all… But am I that bad to not feel like doing so? I smile back to Hera and nod my head. “Sorry but I have to go, it is nice meeting you” With my voice,
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 6
“I was also shocked when I saw him… but ever since that incident he never wakes up” Shaun stated. Standing as he had his way to see his father. I can clearly see how big his eye bags are. I bet he also had a hard time… after all… I know that it is just the two of them after he lost his mother. “What did the doctor tell you? Is there really no way to help him?” Hearing how there was a brief silence, Drake was there to hold my hand. Thankfully he was there… it is always him supporting me… “They did what they could, but even the most advanced technology we had couldn’t do any help at all. He needs time to get well. And if there is a miracle… he can wake up” “A miracle?” So that is how bad Mr. Sebas’s situation is?? But… I heard it was an accident, how can it be this severe? “And there was something he said before he finally lost consciousness and fell into a coma” Looking at us, Shaun was never this mad. I saw him like this… “He is dangerous” What does he mean he? Who is he pert
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 7
“Yes, yes, I understand that… really, Seki. I know what I am doing” Looking at me with that bored look on her face, I know how much she doesn’t have a single trust in the words I have said. Although, what I said was true! I know that it was reckless of me to go there… but I need to do that. Or else… Or else I would regret not doing so… “I don’t really understand why you are so thick-headed after all of what happened. But Kianna… I am just worried” Pinching my cheeks, she is like a big sister to me. “Sorry to make you worry” “As if you wouldn’t do it again” I just offer her a smile. Drake is now talking with someone on the phone. I bet it was his employer. Will it really be right that he won’t do that project? But if it is impossible as of now, there is really no reason to keep pursuing it. It takes time… “Seems like you have to go now” She mumbled pointing to Drake. “I need to talk with Mr. Sebas first” There was a frown on her face. Indeed, it isn’t the right term to be use
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 8
As soon as we arrived back in the house, I quickly gathered the files I had with me. I also bring my laptop and some other things. Looking at Drake, he is now holding the keys to our car. Smiling at me with that reassuring gaze, I nodded my head. I shouldn’t panic. I can do this. I must… “Let’s go” We are on our way to an apartment named after someone else. Serena’s friend. But in reality, I am the owner of that unit. Drake and I. Just think of it as a disguise. For me to have the chance to meet Serena. Since we all do not know what may happen if anyone finds out that I am still alive. Since I already made up a name as Bea, should I ask Jena to sell me an identity? That would be much easier. It would be easier to move that way. “Kianna, don’t read while we are moving. Or else your eyes would be hurt” “Drake, I need to know the situation right away. Every second counts. Sorry… just… just this time” Putting his hand on my wrist, it made me look at him. he may be staring straight a
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 9
“Stay, that is all I need you to do” “Are you fucking out of your mind? You don’t see me as some kind of dog that would stay just because you wanted to, do you?” Full of anger, even though it was just the two of them inside that room, Hera can’t help but feel like something is not right. If before, she would feel comfortable with him, now, it wasn’t the case at all. As if, something inside her was telling her that he was just a piece of bad news. “I don’t even know why I came here after all of that, what a waste of time” About to leave, she was surprised when Marco stopped her with his blunt words. “But you know how much you love to be a dog with me” Eyes widening in anger, she stomps her feet as she slams her hands on his table. Glaring at him as if she would kill him, he is not frightened at all. “I dare you to say that again and I will not fucking tolerate any of your bullshits” “But I am telling the truth, am I not?” Scowling at him, instead of feeling frightened, Marco se
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 10
“Jena, did you find anything?” Shaking her head, Jena handed her the envelope that she was holding. They planned to meet in Serena’s place but because of some matters, they decided to just meet back home. After all, it would be bad if anyone found out that they have a connection with Serena. “That is all I got. Even though it was quite quick since Shaun also looked through his information, that is what we gathered” Opening the envelope, indeed, both files of those two are as clean as snow. White on the outside yet they are still hiding impurities. “By the way, are you alone?” Jena asked as she looked around and found no one else than them. “No, Drake was with me. He was just taking a bath” “Ahh… that is good to hear. Please avoid being alone. Even though this place is the most safest for you, we can’t tell what may happen.” “Thank you for your concern, Jena… but I would be more than happy if we find even just a small piece of evidence to bring their dirt out their faces” Noddi
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 11
“I thought it would be you who is sick once again but to my surprise, it was Drake” Holding Drake’s hands, I know no one else who may help us right now. It was Gion who was a doctor, a friend of Drake. One of the few people that knows that I am still alive. He is also a friend of the therapist I talked to before. “How was his condition?” “You don’t have to worry much. You two are a lucky couple if I may say. He just needs rest and that is all. I will prescribe him a medicine and make sure that he drinks it on time” Looking at the state of Drake, he doesn’t look good even though Gion told me he is… “Don’t worry too much. It won’t be good for you. More than anything else, Drake needs you this time. Be here for him. He may be under lots of pressure and have not much sleep. Those factors are enough to make him have a fever” Drake surely is… doing more than what he can. He is always pushing himself too much. But no matter what I told him to rest, he won’t do so… this guy… why is he ma
Latest chapter
This Time I Will Love You Epilogue
“Congratulations”I look at Francis he hand me an envelope.“Thank you”Looking at it, I look at Drake. Somehow, it surprises me how he looks normal. Well... he did know my past with Francis but I am glad that he have trust in me.“Thank you for coming to our wedding. They said it was thanks to you that Lhanoir agreed in playing the piano for our us. You have my deepest thanks.”The exchange greetings and it just occurs me what they are talking about. Now that I remember it, that sound of the piano, that kind of playing... it was out of ordinary. Who would have thought it was Lhanoir? I admired her when I was young...Now that I think about it... I think Drake told me something about the pianist for our wedding... but I was so sleepy that I didn’t really understand what he was talking about.“You don’t have to thank me. It just happened that I have an acquaintance who is close to her”Blinking my eyes, I look back at Drake and Francis. Slightly giggling, I didn’t think that there would
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 75
Right in front of me, I could see far away the figure of Drake standing at the end of the aisle.If I could, I would run to where he is... but that would be funny. How can a slow walk of the bride be a bride running to her groom?That was quite cute but... I can’t help but giggle with what I was thinking.Still, it helps me calm down as I took my step walking closer and closer to where he is.The sound of the piano was so wonderful that I even wonder where that familiar playing was from. But right now, I don’t find the urgency to find out the answer for that.For my mind was filled with nothing but hopes that the carpet I was walking on would bring me quicker to where Drake was.Somehow, Drake’s eyes was locked on mine, that even after I stopped my walk, he didn’t leave his gaze off me.A hand then offered his hands to me. It was grandpa.Dad is not here so grandpa offered to be the one to walk me down the aisle. And I could wish nothing else but this.“You look much more beautiful to
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 74
The feeling of losing something important.... the feeling of not being able to do anything for it...I can’t help but feel useless...Those things that I have, I am grateful. But to those things that I let go...I feel like, I am an asshole...Did I really make the right choice?Kianna...She’s been with me ever since. I truly care for her but... I thought... casting her away would be the right choice for her to forget her feelings for me.But... every time... I wonder if I have made the right choice...She was there when I needed her but when she needed me... I cast her away. I push her and avoid her...“Are you finally awake?”“Hmm...”“What’s the matter?”I look at myself in the mirror. Indeed, I also want to ask that to myself. What is the matter with me?“Kieffer, are you all right? Do you want to go to the hospital?”Slightly laughing, I shook my head.“No need Mom, I am fine”No, I am not. I have so many troubles in my head that I want to clear up. It is not like I could say th
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 73
There are things we might forget but that doesn’t mean they are no longer important to us.There are times we feel like we know someone when we don’t really even have a bit of conversation with them. Just the feeling of being close to that person for some reason. As if the moment you talk with them, what you can find is nothing but comfort... as if you have known them for so long...There are times that we feel guilty about something we don’t even know. As if we feel so sorry for any trouble we have caused. But when we asked ourselves what that was about... no words came out of our mouths.Weird... yet at the same time, we can’t even say it wasn’t true. For all of it was real and valid.We feel sad for a sudden moment in our lives. And funnily... it is for no reason at all... or maybe there really is a reason behind it but we just don’t really remember. We just don’t really know what the reason behind those tears was...Our minds are blocked from remembering what it really was. As if
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 72
They said that dreams are something that we shouldn’t remember. For it was designed to be forgotten once we are awake.But in some rare cases, dreams... make us remember them. To give us a message... to grant us some warnings... realization of something that only our subconscious mind can comprehend.‘I should have known that soul is a disaster’‘Her fragments are scattered... now the timelines are in chaos’‘How can a mere soul do that...’‘... She is not just a mere soul...’‘She got that blessing... even some of the angels bound in the land of mortals helped her...’‘But what would you do now? You finally got her fragments?’‘Why bother asking? There is only one thing to do. Fixed it the way it should be. Each soul must only have one memory of their life. And these two are rare cases that are starting to affect the others’My head hurts...As if... something was taken from inside me...The warmth... that I had in my heart seemed to be leaking out.The moment I opened my eyes, it to
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 71
Everything seems to be going with its best flow... with my family, with my career... all of it was in a smooth sail... and who would have thought that... it been months since that incident?Thanks to those memories that I have, I was able to prevent most of the things that might cause a huge problem in this timeline. Weird to say this but most of the scenarios in each life have similarities. Those people around me are the same... and there are just rare cases that their deaths would be different. As if it was their fate... my fate...Still, the fact that not all of them are identical means that changes of the future is still possible. The fact that I can prevent things from happening means that I can change the future I will have either for the better or worst of it.But I do hope that the future will be good to me... To be honest, this life is not just for me alone. It is for me and all of the Kiannas that lived a life before mine.Those things that they weren’t able to do... those w
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 70
In the end, I failed to see the photo he took. But he was so happy, I can tell. Well, I would admit, me too… I feel so happy now that we two were able to have this much fun.“Yes, that would be all for today”I mumbled as I shut close the folder I had in my hand. All the files regarding the situations that happened are now updated. I think we’ve fixed almost all of it... well, maybe aside from some minor things. But it shouldn’t be a trouble at all.Letting out a deep sigh, I can’t help but miss my date with Drake. I wonder what he is doing today...Opening my bag, I pick up my phone but...“Huh? This isn’t my phone...”It was Drake’s...Did I end up picking up his phone before heading out? Now that I think about it, our phones were charging closely with each other...“Maybe I did pick it up by mistake... I should call him- no... I should call my phone that is probably with him right now...”I giggled as I realized how clumsy it was to not realized that I took the wrong phone with me.
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 69
I do have that question for myself as well.Now that the world finally knows I am dead, would it be… right to announce the truth?That is something I am still not sure.And also… What would happen to the company now… I mean… Dad is not around and my brother- No, what I mean is Marco… he is not even my brother…“Kianna…”Patrish mumbles for the first time.“Whatever it might be… please tell us if you plan something big again…”Smiling bitterly, Patrish looks at me.“We are not just your friends, we are a family too. So we were really hurt when we learned about your death. We are hurt more than you can ever think of…”“Patrish…”“I understand what happened but still, we didn’t like what you did. We are happy that you are back but we feel betrayed…”I nod my head. I know that. I already knew it would be like that and I understand that it was but my fault.“I am really sorry… I know that what I did is wrong. Sorry… really”…After that conversation, I never hear Hera’s voice again. She ref
This Time I Will Love You Chapter 68
“Kianna? You are…”“Alive?”Looking at their surprised face, I am not sure of where to start. Should I say hello? Or should I explain things first? I… really don’t know.I can feel my hand turning numb. Joined with my heart that was beating so loud, I couldn’t take it… My head is in a mess. As if I am a device full of things with no storage left. And about to turn weird any time soon.Patrish, Scott, Kyler, Exequiel, and Warren. They all came here to see Hera. And also because of the fact that I send them a message to come here…“Thank you for coming here today…”Patrish could not help but put her hand on her lips. Covering it as she did not remove her eyes from me.“Wait wait wait… I don’t understand… Kianna… is that really you? This is not some kind of a joke, is it? If it is, guys it is not funny at all. Quit it right away!” Exequiel mumbles as he has his hands holding his hair.Still is not sure of what was happening.Still can’t process what the whole situation is all about.“Yes
