chapter 4

Back at at my house, I nervously began prepping myself for my conversation with Calvin. I paced around her room while whispering to myself.

“I have to apologize profusely, but how do I do I convince him to accept my apology now”, I said to myself.

“Just call him first”, my inner voice said, “there’s no harm in trying”.

Picking up my phone, I hesitantly dialed my boyfriend’s number, secretly praying for it to go straight to voicemail so i could avoid talking to him.

“Hello, hello, kiana”, he called out as he answered the call.

I hesitated, trying to gather myself and thoughts as I my mind was reeling with thoughts that kept rambling

“Are you there”, he said, his voice bringing my mind back to present.

“Yes I am here, how are you, hope you’re good, hope you reached home safely”, I said trying to stall to avoid talking about the main subject that made me call him in the first place.

“I know what you’re trying to do by the way, so just go straight to the point”, he said annoyed at my stupid attempt at stalling. He knew me so well, he was my boyfriend after all.

I know he’s rolling his eyes in annoyance, another cute habit of his that I love.

Picking up courage and swallowing my pride I apologized profusely once again.

“I am so so sorry Calvin, for not telling you about this and springing it up on you in front of the others, I know it was childish and foolish of me, please forgive me”.

“I know you’re angry at me about this news but please believe me, I just received this news two days ago and I’ve been trying to process it”.

“I am not angry anymore, I know it took a while to accept it and for you to have the courage to tell us and I happy you did as I’d prefer you tell us than hearing it from other peoples mouth”.

“I know you’re doing it for your family, I understand”, he said. I was stunned and surprised at his response as I expected more of an argument. It didn’t sound like the Calvin I knew, and it was making me uneasy.

The Calvin I knew would have thrown a bigger tantrum.

As if reading my mind, he said, “I know it doesn’t sound like me I know but asher had spoken to me earlier and made me see it from your point of view”.

“I am also sorry for the way I reacted back at the coffee shop, it was childish.

“No, no, don’t apologize, I understand your reaction, you are entitled to your reaction”, I said.

He laughed softly, you’re the best you know that right, he said.

“Sooo, does this mean we’re breaking up”, he said sadness his voice.

“Yes, I guess this is the end of the road for our relationship but we could go back to being friends”. “You know we’ve been friends much longer than we’ve been dating”, I said optimistically not wanting to lose him even as friend.

“Sincerely Kiana, I don’t know if I can yet, I need more tim to move on you know we just broke up now”, he replied.

“I understand, I will give you some time and space for as long as you need”, I replied, but I knew deep down in my heart that things would never go back to how they have been and even our friend might fall apart.

“I’ve got to kiana, goodbye, and I wish you all the best in your new journey, I hope things work out well for you”, he said in a rush before ending the call.

Goodby.., I said before hearing the click. I looked down at the phone with a sudden heaviness in my heart.

Reality hitting me slowly like a ton of bricks, I came to a realization that I had just ended things with the love of my life, tears began to fill my eyes, dropping the phone on my dresser I walked to bed, buried my head into my pillow and started crying.

The tears began pouring like a waterfall. I cried for about an hour before falling asleep.

I was woken up by my father who came to knock on my door calling me to come down for dinner.

Coming I said while looking at the mirror a dishelved image stared back me. I looked a mess, my eyes red from crying, my hair all over the place and a trail of dried saliva at the edge of my lips.

Hurriedly, I tried to fix up myself, satisfied with how I looked after, I put on a fake smile, straightened my dress and left the room.

Upon entering the living room, my parents watched me as I walked towards the dining table where my they sat together, with my baby brother seated in his high chair by my moms side.

They noticed my red eyes and said nothing, just watching me through the corner of their eyes as my father began serving up his food.

We ate dinner in silence, the only sound was the sounds of cutlery against the ceramic plates. My father the first to finish his meal put down his cutlery looked at my mother as if getting permission to talk, cleared his throat.

Hesitantly, as if he was afraid of what would come next, he spoke up saying, “ehmm, just wanted to tell you the wedding was agreed to hold this week Saturday.

“What” I shouted my cutlery hitting the plates. No, no, no, this is too soon, I said rubbing my arms, please you have to give me some time to get myself together.

“kiana, You know that time isn’t on our side, in about the next two days, the people from the bank will come and other debtors will come to collect their money.

“As you know only Mr Tate Brown agreed to help us but not without a set of conditions”, her father said, and he specifically said that he would only help us if the wedding happens on saturday.

Slowly falling down to my seat, I closed my eyes in pain, not only was I not given the choice of getting married to who I love, but I also don’t have any say over my wedding planning.

Don’t worry everything has been arranged you just have to come to the wedding venue.

“Tomorrow, we are going to do some self- care activities, like shopping, getting our nails done, doing our hair and if time permits we will go to a body spa but of not we can continue the activities the day after tomorrow”, Kiana’s mother said with a slight smile as if trying to lift my spirits.

“It would be a good distraction”, my father chimed in.

“Yes it would” I said not wanting to shout anymore.