Chapter 12

"Sinabi ni Bok sa 'kin ang tungkol sa first love niya raw no'ng bago pa lang ako rito. Na minahal niya raw ang nakababata niya. It's kinda disgusting. He's talking about his first love like it was his anecdote."

Napailing ako sa pagkukuwento ni Writan. We were both resting again over the tree of cherry blossoms look-alike.

"Hey, what's this tree called? It looks like cherry blossoms. But is it?"

Bumaling ako kay Writan. Nakatingin na rin siya sa itaas ng puno.

"This is a cherry blossom."

I was in awe. "Wow. It's so pretty."

"You're prettier."

I grinned at his compliment. "Don't me, Writan. You said I was way beautiful in your dreams."

He cracked a laugh before moving towards me. He looked at my eyes and my lips.

"Because you're way way beautiful today."

Ramdam ko ng init sa pisngi ko. Ngumiti ako sa kanya bago tumingala muli at tinitigan ang puno.

"Tell me a story."

Huminga ako nang malalim at pumikit habang hinihintay na magkwento si Writan. It was like my pains earlier has gone down because of him.

I was so mad at Bok. But I was madder to myself 'cause I was a fool for believing Grandma that Grandpa was dead. Grandma should've told me about him. I'm disappointed with her. That's why I wanted to know everything. I will ask Bok and will lose hell if he won't tell me the truth.

"Once upon a time, there were twins. They were inseparable brothers. They do everything for each other. However, when the other guy took a different path from the other one, he was left behind. On the other hand, the other guy chose a different path too. They left each other. They have never been the same inseparable brothers they used to be. Lesson learned, never trust your sibling."

My forehead creased. I glanced at Writan. "That's a sad story, tell me more. I want a happy ending."

"Spoiled brat," Writan commented.

I hit his arm. He didn't complain and stayed quiet.

"This is the story of the other guy who was left behind and chose a different path. He found a door that leads to another opportunity of making his dreams come true. He worked hard every day striving to make himself better than his twin brother."

He crossed his arms over his chest and continued. "He wasn't satisfied with his passion. When his twin brother got into an accident...he was happy for himself. Because finally, he's better than his twin. He's selfish. Regardless, every day he gets a trophy, he will feel the emptiness inside him. It wasn't too late for him to go back to his brother. So, he did.

He spent his life with him, however, it was only for a short period. His twin brother died. Still, he was happy. Because he had a great time with his loved one. He never regretted coming back for him. He continued his life reaching for his dream, his and his brother's. The end."

"It's still not a happy ending. At all."

Writan pinched my nose. I made face.

"Do you want a happy ending?" he asked.

I nodded like a child. "Of course, who doesn't want one? How about you?"

"I want a sad ending. You know why?"

I tilted my head. I let him hold my hair and tucked it behind my ear. I held my breath.

"Because a happy ending is only a dream for me. I've always expected a sad ending. It got worse when I found you."

I gasped. I could see his eyes got teary.

"I can't afford to lose you. But this is where I'm destined to be and you, in your world. I want a happy ending with you, but, that meant defying everything I've done here."

He held my face and he gently caressed it.

"I-I will take the risk, just tell me."

I was surprised. It was an indirect confession, isn't it?

He stayed quiet after that. He didn't talk on our way back. I wanted to ask him about his confession. Or I'm getting my hopes up. Maybe it wasn't a confession.

I pressed my lips together and looked at the trees. We're walking silently and the birds chirping is merely what I could hear in this situation.

Na-realized ko na tama nga siya. A happy ending is a dream. It will lead to disappointment if I expect that. I can't afford to be disappointed again, more so, hurt.

Sinulyapan ko si Writan. You will take the risk, huh? Would I take risks too? Should I live here? Should I leave my family for a happy ending with him?

Bumaling din siya sa akin. Seryoso siyang nakatingin sa mukha ko. Nagtitigan kaming dalawa bago bumuka ang bibig niya para magsalita.

"I'll help you get out of here," he mumbled.

Lumunok ako at tumingin sa dinadaanan.

"You want me to leave?" I asked.

I bit my lip. I stopped walking. I looked at Writan and he halted too.

"Do you want me to stay here, Writan?"

I could see eyes hesitating. What was that supposed to mean?

"Answer me."

"You've family out there, you'll only have me here if you stay. You have your life on the other side, and I have mine here. I'll be selfish if I answer that I want you here, Claudia."

I smiled painfully. "Okay."

Dumeretso na ako sa paglalakad. Bakit hindi man lang siya maging selfish kahit isang beses lang? Parang naaapakan ako dahil kailan man hindi ako naging selfless na tao. I'm a stubborn teenager. But am I becoming more selfish because I wanted him to let me stay?

I took a deep breath. Hindi ko na namalayan na tumutulo na naman ang luha sa mga mata ko. This is becoming painful as time goes by. I should stop this madness. Writan and I can't be together. That, I'm sure.

When the sun sets, we both stopped in a tree. I laid on the other side of the trunk. I closed my eyes and let my tiredness took over me.

"I'm sorry for being selfless, Claui. I'm sorry for liking you. That's so wrong. Damn it."