HIS WOLF FEELS DIFFERENT

I wake up, drenched in sweat to the sound of my alarm. I rub the sleep from my eyes as I trek to the shower to try and wash off the feel of him that still lingers over me.

"It was just a dream." I tell myself and Nessa scoffs. "Don't start." I chide her.

"What?" She retorts. "It felt good, even if it was just a dream and you know it. Imagine how good the real thing would be." I can practically see her raising her eyebrows suggestively at me.

"Stop it. It's just the mate bond." But even I don't believe myself.  Nathaniel is hot. So unbelievably hot. It's stupid and unfair how good looking he is. And while I am being honest with myself, I can admit that he's actually a really good guy, a good alpha. He just wants to have the one thing from me I don't want to give. Control.

As alpha, he runs his pack fully and completely. If I would be accepted into the pack, my life would no longer be my own. If the alpha says stay, I literally would have no choice in the matter. The blood bond would cause my body to become immobile until he said otherwise. There are so many rules and stipulations that come with being in a pack.

I’ve considered it, joining that is. I’m not completely stupid. The positives of a pack are that I’d have a family again. A family, that at least for the most part, understands what it’s like to be a wolf. There is some power and safety in numbers too, but they don’t know that I am a white wolf, and I don’t know what that means for me in a pack. At least alone I know that no one is going to judge me for the things I can do. The things that make me different.

Speaking of those things. I stand in the mirror of my little bathroom staring at my reflection. More specifically my eyes. One pure blue, like ice. And one Dark Green like the leaves on an ever-green tree. Just one more thing that separates me from them. Two different colored eyes isn't a known trait in the wolf world, and I don't need more reasons to draw attention to myself.

I take another minute to look that them, close my eyes, and when I open them again they are brown. Plain, chocolate brown.

“One day, Peony. One day we won’t have to hide them.” Ness says to me, feeling both my apprehension and sadness.

I like that I am different, that we are different. I don’t want to be normal or boring. I don’t want to be like every other person, and maybe that’s why I have never had problems accepting my new abilities. I have never seen a reason to reject them. They are a part of us. I just have to hide them from everyone else.

“Not for long.” She says again. 

I dry my hair and put on black leggings and a black t-shirt that I’ve cut the sleeves off of and added slits down each side. I grab my backpack, phone, and slip on a pair of my white lace ups before heading to the truck.

I’m not looking forward to school, knowing who is going to be there, but Earl and May made it a point that I get an education. They even put It in their will, that they wanted me to graduate high school and go on to college. Though they didn’t know I was a wolf, and that school wasn’t necessary for me to get a degree, it meant a lot that they cared about what happened to me after they were gone.

I pull up to the lot already filling. Winchester High, the school of humans and wolves. It doesn’t seem fair that all the wolves know who the humans are but the humans have no idea of our existence. There isn’t anything I can do about the humans relationship with the wovles and honestly it’s the last thing I need to be worried about.

I throw my keys in my bag and head into the school. My senses still heighted as they will be from now on, but it doesn’t phase me anymore. I can focus, block it out, or let it all in at will. I learned early on that if Ness and I work together, and I fully accept my abilities, I can control them much faster.

I reach my locker and unlock the padlock, exchanging books to get ready for my morning classes. “Uh, Roo.” Ness says at the same time that I feel him.

I cloak my feelings, but leave Ness uncovered. I don’t want to raise issues with him again. I also choke down my ability to feel him. That’s all too much right now and I don’t want to stir in his emotions with the mate bond.

I feel grateful that my new abilities give me time to prepare for him. Lord knows that I need it.

“Princess.” I can still hear deepness in his voice, but something is different. I immediately look into his eyes, thinking I might find it there. I’m met again, with icy blue crystals staring at me but… its not the same blue. It’s… different. Maybe duller? With a hint of green, maybe?

“Roo…?” He says my name this time and I know I should say something, but I can’t figure it out. He’s… the cinnamon smell is gone, replaced with smoked fire and fresh wood shavings, and a hit of vanilla. “His wolf feels different Roo.”

Nathaniel grips my arms, and his touch is enough to pull me back,

“Sorry.” I mumble and pull my gaze away. “I didn’t sleep well…” I can’t look at him again, and I don’t have to let his emotions in to know that he must be concerned or at the least, creeped out.

“That’s okay." He says sincerely, dropping his hands from my arms.

"I was just checking to see if you were okay. After yesterday, I was worried. I couldn’t sense your wolf and you drove off so fast I didn’t know…” He places a finger under my chin and lightly lifts so that my eyes will meet his again. “But I can sense her now, and you seem to be in one piece, so you… must be okay?”

He says it more like a question then a statement, but I slightly nod my head.

“He cares for you.” Nessa says. “It’s more than just the…” I silence her before she can say it, shaking my head. I don’t want him sensing anything.

“What’s going on in that head of yours Roo…” He says, incredulously. One more thing to add to the list of things that makes me different, it’s not actually normal that I can hear Nessa and talk with her and even more so that I have been doing it for such a long time. Most don’t hear their wolf until the turn 18 and make the evolution from pup to wolf. 

“It’s nothing … just like I said. I…”

“...didn’t sleep well.” He finishes for me. “You know, no pressure, but you are welcome to see the pack doctor. Just as a precaution if you ever need it.”

His finger has abandoned my chin and takes my hand instead, bringing it up between our bodies. He looks down at them, our fingers just lightly grazing each other, as he says, “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

We lock eyes again, and I swear I see lines of green through the icy blue. “I’m…” I start, but just as soon as I do we are interrupted.

“Roooooo babbbbyyyy!!!” I hear my best friend call from just a few feet away. I should have sensed her coming but I was so wrapped up in pinpointing the difference in Nathaniel that I completely missed her coming.

“Roo…oooo. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” I don’t need to look at her to see that she has a shit eating grin on her face.

“Melody.” Nathaniel murmurs, acknowledging her but not shifting his eyes from mine.   “I guess that’s my que.” He lets go of my hand and starts to ease back, away from me. “I meant what I said. If you need anything…”

I don’t know if he can feel that I am still assessing him, or that he doesn’t want an audience, or he just knows that he’s made his point, but he doesn’t finish his sentence as he turns and walks away.

“That is one fine-ass wolf.” Melody sighs, now standing next to me.

Her presence finally breaking the trance I was in, but I push the thought back to my mind reminding Ness that we need to come back to it. How can Nathaniel have two different scents and I swear his eyes were different too, but now isn’t the moment to play detective.

“So, you want to tell me what that was all about?” Melody starts her own interregation,