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Denial
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I try not to think about what just happened as I drive home, a lot faster than I should. I released Nessa from our cloaking as soon as I turned out of the parking lot, not wanting to hold her back any longer than necessary.
Ness stays quiet though, understanding the turmoil my emotions are going through.I make it home and pull out the groceries, hating that his scent still lingers on the bags he deposited in the back seat. Hating even more how my body reacts to it.I continue trying to process this situation as little as possible as I go through the motions of making steak stir fry with salad, rolls, and water. I make so much food it looks like I am feeding a family of 7. But it’s the wolf way. We need a lot of energy so a lot of food It is.I eat until I can’t fit another bite into my stomach and clean up the kitchen. I change into a night shirt, grab my phone making sure my alarm is set for the morning, and eventually, finally, taking refuge in my bed.
I'm starting to drift off as I hear Nessa, quietly murmur. "You can't hide forever Roo. You'll have to face it eventually."That night I dream of icy blue eyes, burnt cinnamon, and large arms gripping my body. I swear I can hear his husky voice whispering in my ear, "Let me in Roo. Let me ruin you."My body feels heated, turned on by the words of my mate recites in the dream. I can hear his heated, warm, breath over my skin, the slick perspiration on our bodies. I can feel his intentions to rip my body apart just to put it back together, to make it his.Related chapters
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules HIS WOLF FEELS DIFFERENT
I wake up, drenched in sweat to the sound of my alarm. I rub the sleep from my eyes as I trek to the shower to try and wash off the feel of him that still lingers over me."It was just a dream." I tell myself and Nessa scoffs. "Don't start." I chide her."What?" She retorts. "It felt good, even if it was just a dream and you know it. Imagine how good the real thing would be." I can practically see her raising her eyebrows suggestively at me."Stop it. It's just the mate bond." But even I don't believe myself. Nathaniel is hot. So unbelievably hot. It's stupid and unfair how good looking he is. And while I am being honest with myself, I can admit that he's actually a really good guy, a good alpha. He just wants to have the one thing from me I don't want to give. Control.As alpha, he runs his pack fully and completely. If I would be accepted into the pack, my life would no longer be my own. If the alpha says stay, I literally would ha
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules Interesting does even cover it
I go back to my locker, not looking at her, and shrug. “Oh you know. Same ol’ same ol’ with the alpha. Just using my lack of sleep as a way to try and get me into the pack.” I know that wasn’t what he was doing, Ness and I truly believed the concern was genuine which doesn’t make me hate him less.“Uhhh. Try again sister. I know what I saw and you NEVER let Nate get that close to you.” She says pointedly.“Nate?” I say back, looking at her now. “Since when do you refer to him as Nate?” I know that I am angrier than I should be, but I also know that there aren’t many people he lets call him by that nickname. He wants to keep the separation between pack and alpha. He has to keep the line between classmate and alpha clear.Now it’s Melody’s turn to shrug, but I can see the guilt behind her eyes. “I don’t know, last week or something…” Her eyes don&rsqu
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules THEY ARE BOTH OUR MATE
The day is boring and slow for the most part, tuning out people's emotions and turning in on myselfinstead. I’m having a hard time focusing because my mind keeps going back to the Alpha. Specifically, the differences.“Why would he smell different, Ness?” I just can’t shake it. It had to of been him.“I don’t know.” She replies. “His woof was…”She doesn’t finish and that piques my interest further. “What, Ness? His woof was what?”She doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, and I begin to wonder what she could be feeling that she isn’t ready to share.The bell rings, signaling that my class is over and it’s time for lunch. I gather my things and start heading out with the rest of the class. I’m not really paying attention to what’s going on, until I smell it.Cinnamon… and firewood.I look around, trying desperately to
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules Comparison
I decide not to go to school the next day, opting for a mental health day in the forest instead. There is just so much happening, and it all started when I evolved. Since then, it feels like everything is different, shifting and evolving with me. My senses, the emotions, the mate bond, the twins. God, the twins. I don’t understand. There are so many questions, so many missing pieces. Part of me wants to find the answers, figure out what they have been hiding. But the other part… the other part of me wonders if I should just leave. I walk to our waterfall; mine, and Nessa’s. It’s almost more my home than the cabin is. It’s where it all started and is my favorite place to think. “Okay.” I start. “Okay.” Ness says back. “Here is what we know. Nathaniel has a twin.” “Yep. Twins. Check.” Nessa says with a smile I can hear. “Okay miss cheery wolf, calm down.” “What?” she says. “This is exciting! Not one, but TWO mates
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules CONVERSATION WITH AN ALPHA...OR TWO
He’s standing in front of me, naked. I keep eye contact, not daring to look anywhere else. But damn why did he have to be naked. ‘Oh come on, just a little peak.’ Nessa wines. ‘Nessa. No.’ I masked the mate bond the second I sensed someone coming, partially out of habit, and partially out of assumption. I’m not sure who else would come out here, if not one of the twins looking for me. “Who are you?” I ask again. Nothing. “Listen, I know you aren’t Nathaniel and I know that It was you talking to me at my locker yesterday. So just get on with it already.” Again. Nothing. “Are you going to say anything or just stand there, staring at me…. naked.” He smirks. He goddamn smirks. “Okay. Well, this has been fun, but I’m going to go now.” I salute him and start walking away, with no destination in mind, just somewhere away from here. “You aren’t the least bit curious?” He asks. I stop, but don’t t
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules Say The Words... Say You Promise
Before Ness and I get the chance to test her theory the twins break their link and face me. “Okay. So you want to know about us and we want to know about you.” No name says. “And we think the best solution to that is to propose a trade.” Nathaniel adds. “For every one thing we tell you about us, you tell us something about you.” “Me? Why the hell would you want to know about me?” I ask. “Oh come on Princess.” Nathaniel says with a smirk. “You are the only wolf who doesn’t want to be a part of the pack, that makes you a little interesting.” “Not to mention the fact that you don’t seem to be surprised or the least bit freaked out by the twin thing.” No name mentions. ‘What do you think Ness? This seems kind of dangerous.’ ‘Roo, babe, it’s going to be fine. Remember we are their mate. That’s a bond for life girlfriend. You might as well start the process of getting to know them now while they are willing to share.’ Ness ha
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules I'LL PROVE IT
“You?” Nathaniel says, with an angry tone to his voice. “You have abilities?’ His anger catches me off guard. “I thought this is what you wanted? Why are you angry with me?” I ask him, not hiding the rising anger in my own voice. “I am so sick of this Roo,” Nathaniel almost spits out my name. “I thought you were going to give us the truth, but here you are deflecting again; trying to get us to believe that you are like us. Did you really think that was going to work? huh? You aren’t an alpha; you can’t have special abilities.” He is more than angry now. His face is turning red and his fists are balled up at his sides. I look to no name, hoping that he is on my side, but he doesn’t believe me either. I can feel it. I can see it. ‘Show them Roo.’ Nessa speaks. ‘Prove it to them.’ “Okay fine. You don’t believe me. I’ll prove it to you then. I have heightened senses, all of them. I can see things, hear things, feel things, even taste
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules Why Roo?
Just as I am about to ask my next question, Nathaniel’s phone rings. He looks at the phone, seeing who is calling, and then looks to no name. “Unfortunately, we are going to have to cut this little game of our short.” He says, his tone changing back to the authoritative alpha I know him to be. “You can take that call.” I say, “I don’t mind.” I shrug at him. “Since we have discovered your supersonic hearing, and this is going to be about pack business, I think it’s best that we go.” Nathaniel puts his phone back in his pocket and nods to his brother. They start to head away from me, back the way no name had entered earlier in the day, when Nathaniel stops. No name takes a few steps before stopping to look back at his brother, and then to me. No name walks back towards me, gathering our hands at my side, and leans in to
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The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules Mates
They’re coming this way. They’re coming this way. “Nessa…” I have to say it out loud. I have to know if this moment is real or if it’s something I’m making up in my head. A coping mechanism, a way to protect myself from the inevitable hurt to come. ‘Listen Roo.’ She says to me so softly, but my heart is pounding too fast and my breathing is too ragged and too short. I can’t hear anything but the blood pumping to the beat of feet pounding. “Nessa.” I say again. More firm because I need her to wake me up, to tell me that this is all a dream and ease the heartbreak. But she says nothing. “NESSA, PLEASE.” I all but collapse when I see two figures running straight towards me. ‘I’m letting go now, Roo. It’s time.’ And I can feel her starting to release her hold on the mate bond. The mask we have kept all this time to keep us safe. “Wait. WAIT. Nessa, don…” but before the words come out the figures come to a halt just ten feet from me, and I can feel the final release of our hold. “Ro
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‘Nessa, what do I do?’ I hadn’t made it but a few steps into the forest before I asked her.‘Let it out Roo. Tell me everything.’She barely gets the words out before I vomit it all out.‘How did this happen, Ness? One minute I am so sure of the path I am going to take, refusing to join a pack, and hating Nate. And now I’m calling him Nate and not Nathaniel, and there is another alpha, whom I am also the mate of, who is so different from his brother. And then there is Camilla, and the fact that she is also a white wolf? I mean, what are the chances? Their parents adopt a white wolf, they are mates with a white wolf. Alpha twins, white wolves. I mean this is all so crazy!’I take a moment to breathe before more word vomit comes out.‘…and on top of it all I have just over 12 hours until they w
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The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules More Confessions
“So, what’s going on in here?” Nate says as he comes through the front door of Camilla’s little house. “Yea!” Ren says, “You’ve been hogging her long enough, little miss.” Both of the guys have a big grin on their face, and I look over to see Camilla has a matching one. “Look Roo!” She says standing up. “It’s Renny and Nate Nate!” she giggles as she runs to her brothers. They each take turns picking her up, tickling her, and giving her smooches all over her face. My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. They are so good with her and it’s obvious how much they love her and she them. “Hey there.” Nate says to me, walking over to where I am sitting on one of Camilla’s big comfy chairs. We had been reading one of my favorite books when the guys walked in. “Hi.” I say back with a smile, and Nate leans down to kiss the top of my head. “I missed you.” He says so quietly. I know we can all hear, but the gesture implied it was only for me.
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules JUST LIKE YOURS
It’s been a week and a half since I told Nate about Nessa. We’ve been doing that weird dating thing that the guys suggested and it seems to be working out okay for the most part. They both are at my house to wake me up in the morning and have helped themselves to my kitchen. The day after our discussion they showed up at the ass crack of dawn, bags of groceries in hand only to find that my kitchen was already fully stocked. Ren did bring more of that coffee that I love so much, so I sipped on that while I watched them try to figure out what to do with all the supplies they brought. Nate ended up driving about half of what they had brought back to their place, stating he would bring it back when we started to run out of things. I just rolled my eyes because it would take months to run out, but whatever, this was their show. Though it thought it would bother me, I didn’t mind having someone else cook for me. It was nice that all I had to do in the morning was worry abo
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules Why me? Part 3
“How about this.” Doren starts. “What if we date you?” “Date me?” I ask, taken back by the suggestion. “Yea. Like normal teenagers. You made a good point that we know you pretty well, or at the very least, more than you know us, but we need to get to know each other better. So, let’s date.” Doren shrugs like it makes perfect sense. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea.” Nate agrees with his brother. “We can do individual dates, and group dates. We have a few weeks before our birthday so that will give us time to, hopefully, show you that we are serious about this.” Nate offers. “Okay but wait.” I interject and they both look at me. “I’m not against the idea, but how would that even work? I need to go back to school and no one knows about Doren, so that leaves like two weekends before we know about the bond. That’s not enough time.” “Well, Princess.” Nate starts, that mischievous grin forming on his face. “Dating means at school too. I’ll pick you
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules Why me? Part 2
I kiss each one of their hands before letting go. I want to give them the space they need, and the time to process everything I’ve just let out. I’ve put myself in a vulnerable spot here and I have to admit that I’m a little terrified. I don’t want to be mated to someone who sees me as weak, or a challenge. I want them to see and know everything about me and love me regardless. I can’t hold out for too much longer; I know the twins will be turning 18 soon and then it’ll all be over. I can’t hold the mate bond secret from them once that happens. I need to use the time I have to get to know my mates, and hope that I can learn to let them in. I’m waiting in front of them as they stand there. Nate is looking at his hand, the one I kissed and let go, and Doren is looking at Nate. ‘What do you think is going on in their heads?’ I ask Ness ‘Your guess is as good as mine, dude.’ She scoffs. ‘We might need to give them some time to digest all the feelings you just unl
The White Wolf: A she-wolf exception to all the rules Why me? Part 1
“You want me to call Nate?” He looks confused and a little hurt. “Yes. I think there is a conversation that the three of us need to have.” And I am starting to think the sooner the better. “Oh.” His eyebrows shoot up. He’s still confused but pulls out a phone from his back pocket and dials Nate. It’s the middle of the week, so Nate will be in school, or should be in school anyway. But I can hear his voice when he answers the phone. “Are you with her? Is she okay?”I can hear the concern in Nate’s voice, and I smile a little to myself. Doren is watching me as he speaks to his brother. “Yea man I’m with her, and she’s fine, but…” and Nate cuts him off. “BUT? But what fuck face? I swear to god if you…”And Doren cuts him off right back. “She wants you here man.” He says, letting the irritation ride in his voice. “She says there is a conversation the three of us need to have.” “Ren, I
