When we were children, Disney taught us that our future husband would have amazing hair -I'm talking about straight-out-of-a-photoshoot kind of hair. He also must be tall, handsome, wears shiny armor, owns a white horse, and is a prince.
He would be the one who would pick you up from your miserable life and pave a path for the both of you to live happily ever after.
Disney also taught us that once you have found "the one", then you need to make sure that you would 'move in' with them even if you have no idea who that person is; a stranger -Which is in fact very bad.
This has caused parents around the globe to have major headaches because at the age of 16 -or younger- their child wants to move out of the house and move in with some random dude. Okay, to be fair, with some random handsome dude.
Now, why am I babbling about the stupidity of Disney?
This is why ->
"I found him!" A random girl shrieked as if she is a banshee in a zoo from the other side of the hall, "I found him! I found the one!!!"
A -a week later-
"I thought he loved me!!" The same random girl cried loudly.
A week ago, she wore a smile that can brighten up the whole room, and now, she is a teary-eyed girl with makeup running down from her eyes.
All I am saying is, IT IS CALLED 'FAIRY TALE' FOR A REASON.
-From the whiniest person that you love, CrazyHater.
Smiling at my laptop, I reread what I wrote and sent it, letting the power of technology send it everywhere.
Don't get me wrong, I love Disney. The Tarzan soundtrack was the bomb and don't get me started with Lion King. I also really like the Disney Princess, especially Mulan -because she's a baddie- but it's just so unrealistic.
Ting.
I looked down at my laptop and can't help the smirk that immediately crawled on my lips. There was a new comment coming from @DivaBeauty -talk about having lame usernames, I know. But then again, I really should not say much because I am one to talk. CrazyHater? Really?
I scoffed at my own thoughts and read the comment that says, "@CrazyHater I disagree with you, princesses are not stupid. Are you calling the past princesses like Diana and that other Kate girl stupid?!"
Wow. This girl is stupid.
I stretched out my fingers and was ready to type a long reply but stopped when I remembered that I should not mind these types of comments.
Doing this content would surely -without a doubt- gather tons of negative feedback coming from the people who belong to the other side of the coin, the ones who have different opinions.
And so, I stopped and simply closed my laptop. I exhaled a quick breath and shoved it inside my bag. There would be a lecture in my Bio class later, so I should bring the textbook too.
"Chloe!" My best friend's voice rang throughout the hallway which made me automatically smile. Archel Viminion, a brunette who is kind of a... Well, a slow person- At times! She is like Cat in Nickelodeon's old show Sam and Cat - At times! Okay, probably not at times, maybe a little bit sometimes.
"Have you heard? CrazyHater just updated his blog!" She grins widely while showing me her phone screen where there is indeed a notification that I just updated.
You're probably thinking, "there are people, like any human being, reading my blog?!" Of course, yes. I am every dumb bimbo girl's nemesis and the debater club's best friend. My identity as being @CrazyHater is hidden; because if it was not, then I'll probably be buried ten ft. underground.
"Nice." I shrugged, acting like I did not care, but inside, my ego is bursting like fireworks! She walks toward her locker, which was right beneath mine. "Give me a sec," I told her.
"No rush," She waved me off as she eagerly scrolls through her phone, "let me read this for a while."
"Alrighty." I covered my smile by burying my face inside my locker. I took a pad of paper and shoved it in my bag. Zipping it shut, I closed my locker shut and moved away so that Archie can open hers. I asked her, "all done?"
"Yes," She sighs out dreamily, "he talked about Disney stereotypes and I agree with him. Have you read it?"
I crossed my arms on my chest, "What do you think?" As far as she knows, I am not a "fan" of CrazyHater.
"Ugh, Chlo!" She pouts while opening her locker, "I do not understand why you're so Alien about him!"
Alien? I leaned on the locker beside ours and continued to stare at her. Raising an eyebrow, I asked. "Alien?"
"Yes, Alien." She nodded, "You're acting as if you belong on Mars! I mean, he's C R A Z Y H A T E R, despite his name, he's really lovable and courageous for voicing out his opinions!"
I find it amusing that she assumes that CrazyHater is a 'he', that I'm a 'he'. I chuckled loudly, "You're calling me an extraterrestrial just because I'm not a fan of CrazyHater?"
"YES!" She slammed her locker shut and faced me. "You should definitely check his blogs out."
With a scoff, I shook my head. "No thanks."
"Wait!" She gasps loudly, "Do I have Gov today?"
I held in a laugh. "Yes, you do."
"Thank you, lemme get my book." She gives me a sheepish smile before she starts unlocking her locker once again. "What would I do without you?"
"Let's not think about the possibility." I smiled.
"Back to the topic," She continued, "you should definitely read his works. It's so relatable and true. He reminds me so much of you!" She paused. "Actually, if I am not completely in love with him, then I would definitely think that you and he are the same people."
I gulped before giving off an awkward laugh shakily. "Yeah, let's not think about the possibility."
"That would be weird." She laughs loudly while cringing. "After all, he could be a tall hunky man -and I'm talking about six-foot-three tall, and my prince charming."
I muffled a laugh. Oh Archie, what would be your reaction once you'll learn that CrazyHater is me? A female? Not a hunky man and definitely not anyone's prince charming?
Deciding to drift her mind out of the topic, I asked jokingly, "So, since you're talking about how much you love this internet sensation, then does not mean that you don't love Ivan?"
Ivan is Archie's best friend since diapers until sophomore year. Until sophomore year since she said 'yes' when Ivan asked her to be "his". Ivan has brown hair, black eyes, and a strong jaw.
I swear they are the only couple I believe that has the crappy 'true love' crap. I mean, including my parents and grandparents of course.
Ivan is also the reason why I have to see JerkAss's face every day. And that's because JerkAss is his best friend; I pity Ivan. I really do.
She stopped, then answered seriously, "I love Ivan."
I laughed, "I know. I know. You're whipped!"
"And?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Nothing.Nothing." I gulped seeing that she is serious. She may be clumsy at times, but when she's dead serious, she is deadly serious... and scary.
"ARCH!"
I groaned loudly but Archie just shrieked and ran towards Ivan who has JerkAss on his tow.
"BABE!" I don't know why she calls him a pig though. You know, Babe the pig? No? Okay...
"I gotta go now," I said while slamming her locker shut for her. I do not want that horrible creature to ruin my day.
JerkAss smirked, "leaving the party so soon, Porter?"
"Yeah, coz some monster just ruined it, Langston." I snarled. I never call him by his first name, just like he never calls me by my first name. I believe that only the people I respect deserves to be called by their first names.
Groans came out from my best friend and her beau. Archie pouts at me. "What did he do now?"
I answered nonchalantly, "he revealed his horrible face."
"What did he ever do to you Chlo?" Ivan asked while he wraps an arm around Archie.
I blinked. "He was born."
"CHLOE!" Ivan and Archie yelled at the same time.
"Aww." JerkAss mocks with a pout. "That hurts me."
I glare at him. "You're annoying."
He smirked, "Then I'm doing a great job."
I glare harder. "I hate you."
He winks. "I don't like you."
I groaned exasperatedly, "shut up!"
He smirks, "I'll shut up if you'll shut up."
"No," I snarled. "I'll shut up if YOU'LL shut up!"
Ring...
The morning bell rang which is my cue to leave. I exhaled loudly and faced Archie. "I'm leaving," I said with a small wave as I turn around.
"Hold on!" Archie yelled, "What's my password for my school account again?"
"Your anniversary date with Ivan."
"It's my anniversary date with Ivan?" She asked out loud. Suddenly, I heard a snicker, a thud, then followed by a groan. I bet JerkAss snickered which made Ivan hit him.
I slowed down on my tracks to correct her, "No, the password is your anniversary date with Ivan."
"Oh, right, right!" She laughs sheepishly. "What would I do without you?"
I shook my head with a small smile and fixed my backpack strap as I jogged away.
Hey, I told you she's slow like Cat -sometimes!
I have never been a patient person.If someone who knows me tells you otherwise, they either lie or do not know who I am. I'm not patient with anyone, not even my own mother.For instance, whenever I point at the obvious that my mom was late in our Mother-Daughter Bonding Session (she likes to call it that way), she would start babbling about how she waited nine months for me to be fully developed before pushing me out of her.Cue for an eye roll.I stood silently waiting near the tiny arcade room in Walmart with my dead phone on hand for two extremely boring hours. I was originally waiting outside for my lovely mother to finish her weekly shopping spree, but we all know the horrific things that can happen outside Walmart. Along with that abominable scent that's coming from somewhere even I don't know where.In all honesty, it would not have been as boring if my phone didn't give up on me because of the long hours of playing Piano Tiles... but then again, there's the possibility that
"That was close!" JerkAss shouted over the raging noise of our surroundings, "It's a good thing this place is near! That old woman can never find us now!"I grumbled under my breath, "Yeah, by bringing me to this freak show." I said sarcastically.He laughed. Yes laughedWhat kind of a sane person would bring another sane person to an underground illegal fistfight!? Oh, wait, Langston is insane!!! Okay, we're not literally underground, because we're in a gymnasium just a few meters away from this town's high school, but still... it's illegal. "Why in all places did you bring me here? Do you know how stupid you are?" I asked rhetorically."I know how stupid I am-""That was a rhetorical question," I snorted, "You're stupid."He raised an eyebrow, "Did you just snort? Damn Porter, how unladylike."I rolled my eyes at him, "Yeah sure, let's focus on my snort."Looking around, I shuddered when chills crawled on my arms. The place was packed with people grinding with one another. I face
"W-w-w-what?" I laughed nervously, "CrazyHater?" Suddenly, my throat felt dry and rough, "I'm not Cra-CrazyHater." I smiled sheepishly as I try to keep my composure.Oh no, Oh no, Oh no!NO!!!Calm down Chloe, he's just probably bluffing, yeah, we're talking about JerkAss here, he's stupid... Okay, I'm lying. He's actually not. I heard that he's taking up AP Calculus, AP Government, and AP Economics. He's not taking AP Physics because he already took that a year ago. So yes, he might not be bluffing right now.His familiar smirk appeared on his face as he walked closer towards me, "Then why is there a Welcome CrazyHater written in your Twitter?"Did he hack me? Okay, I'm starting to regret having the same password for all of my accounts. Password123."Coz I'm awesome....?" I flashed him my award-winning sheepish smile but was immediately replaced by my award-winning scowl when I realized that he's not buying it.Oh, whatever. I crossed my arms and glared at him, "So what if I'm it?
"It's never just another day."C H L O E"Chloe!"I grumpily stopped licking my ice cream and glared at JerkAss, who also returned my glare just as harsh. His yellow fluffy suit really does ruin his bad boy demeanor because he looks like the son of Cookie Monster and Big Bird. I gave him a 'what the heck do you want?' look.He shouted sarcastically, "I don't know, oh wait, I think it has something to do with something that is clinging on me!" I saw a girl wearing nothing but short butt shorts and a cropped tee. I cringed when I saw her rubbing her upper front on JerkAss's chicken suit. It's weird. Absolutely weird.I mean, don't get me wrong, I respect women with their type of fashion but I only respect women who want to be respected. And from the way this girl is acting right now...? Shame.I rolled my eyes at him and nodded at my ice cream, sending him a silent signal that says I'm busy.He whines exasperatedly, "Chloe!"Groaning loudly, I knew that I had to do something because it
Do you know what I hate the most?Fake people.With their fake boobs.With their fake skin.With their fake hair.With their fake teeth.Especially their fake personality. Why can't they just be themselves?Oh right, it's because they're fake. B mean word that means female dog.From the craziest hater, CrazyHater.I shut the laptop close after publishing it. Putting it away, I lay down on my bed."CHLOE!" Oh, come on! Let.me.rest!I immediately sat back up and stared at my mom with wide eyes when she came rushing inside my room with a wide grin on her face."Guess what!?" She asked.Knowing her, if I won't participate with her Guess What jokes, she would not stop harassing me."..........." Tired of waiting, I asked, "So..?""GUESS WHAT!?"Oh. She really wants me to guess."You won the lottery?"She snorted, waving me off, "No.""You learned how to cook?"Another snort, "As if.""You're going to Austria..?"Snort. "Hopefully.""Then what!?" I snapped."I found the perfect shoes!""So?
Blackhole.It has been said from books to the news that once you're inside, there's no going back.That you have to just keep on moving forward.It sucks to be stuck inside.But for my situation right now, let's just say that I would love to get stuck in that specific hole.My family and the Langston's were having a lovely, peaceful, and interesting dinner. Old friends meeting up again are one of the best things in life. It was nice and I loved it.Until JerkAss said the unnecessary words that lead us to this situation."Why didn't you tell me!" Mom shrieked across the table, "My daughter is dating her best friend!" I wasn't the one who told her. I mean, why would I? Apparently though, JerkAss here cannot shut his mouth and immediately told his parents about the lie.He told them that we were dating.Yuck.JerkAss smirked, while I just rolled my eyes, "Ma, we were not and will never ever be best of friends.""Of course not! You'll just be together!" Sylvia, his mother, grinned before
I hate it whenever people started judging you just because another person assumed or accused you of something.Bitch.Lord, give me strength on handling this moron.Sincerely yours,Almost Suicidal Person, CrazyHaterPressing enter as sent, I closed my laptop and sighed before jumping back on my bed, face first.I heard a knock on my door, which made me groan loudly. The door opened so I open my eyes, seeing JerkAss enter my room.Why the hell is he in my room? Why is he even inside our house?"Mom! Why is JerkAss inside our house-""Your hubby's here!" Mom called out, "I let him in already, don't use protection!"Right, she and Sylvia want babies.I facepalmed while JerkAss laughed loudly. Only my mother would say that, only her.Really funny, really funny.He finally caught his breath, then he shut the door and said, "Hey Chloe."I glared at him, "JerkAss."His eyes widened, "Is that how you treat your," he coughed, "hubby?"I snarled, "The only hubby I know is chocolate."His eyes
"So son, a little birdy told me you're doing mushy things with Chloe here." Tan smiled at JerkAss before looking at us with an I know look.Did that little birdy happen to be Patrick?"Fatty just told you that, which is, by the way, the worst lie, earlier," JerkAss said before crossing his arms, I mean, his wings."Stop being rude son," Tan scolded, "Besides, you're one to talk." He smirked while pointing JerkAss's chicken suit.JerkAss glared at him.Causing me to laugh loudly,JerkAss glared at me.Causing for Tan to laugh loudly.Sigh. Like father like son.If JerkAss was a cartoon character, his head would literally pop.He grabs something from his chicken pockets, yes there was a hidden pocket in the suit.Then suddenly, I felt something vibrated in my jean pocket. Grabbing my phone, I frowned when I saw a text from the devil itself,"CconviNCceee mnhy daaasd tob lkjrseasve."I believe that means Convince my dad to leave.Wow, he's good in typing messages without looking at it pr