Chapter Three

For so long, she had already known that destiny played like a jerk. Most of the time, it wouldn’t even go along according to a person’s wants, it would always do something that would force a person to take the path different from what that person initially wanted to take. Sometimes, it would be the opposite, which one could even consider lucky as destiny would be on that person’s side. 

Tim, all of her life, had always wanted to understand how destiny worked, but as funny as it was, it was also destiny itself that would dictate her fate, that she’d never ever understand how it’d work. It might be because the mind has limitations, and people could never unlock its full capabilities. A single person could never understand how the vast universe worked. 

It was also destiny that she thought first when Raphael came into her life because she never thought that he’d even be with her in the first place. 

Back when she was still a freshman, she started becoming an admirer of the guy who was still a sophomore student that time. He was really known in the university because not only was he very handsome, tall and talented, he also had his ways to make people like him, whether in a platonic or romantic manner. She could even remember how dazzling his eyes were whenever their eyes met, and would always send butterflies to her stomach. 

He was her crush way back on her freshman year because who wouldn’t fall for a guy like him? She even considered it a lucky occurrence whenever they’d get to talk even when the talk would only last a few seconds.

That was why when she received a message from him, asking her out, it was destiny that she first thought of. Maybe she was really thinking that they were really destined for each other. She thought that way because their university was large, and they hadn’t even talked for more than a minute, making her confused as to how it all happened, how he was able to notice her. 

She was still a young girl, and she was already fond of watching dramas even when the majority of the Philippine dramas were redundant. That was also one of the reasons why she grew wanting to be an actress. She wanted to act, and to be one of the renowned actresses in the country.

At that very moment, Tim felt as if she was a main character of one of those films. She thought that during their relationship, it would always be filled with happiness, just like in movies, but how wrong she was.

Those movies were really different from reality. 

She had a serious relationship with Raphael, but that relationship needed to be kept in secret because of her utterly strict mother. He said that if his mother would know, she would do anything just for the relationship to end. He came from a wealthy family, and when someone was rich, it would be easy for her to do anything that she wanted to do in life—even killing.

What he told her was that he was keeping the relationship private because he wanted to protect her, and Tim really did believe in that. Maybe she was really dumb because it was really easy for him to let go of her as well. He left her just like that, as if the years that they spent together under the shadows of life weren’t enough.

What he did to her was already enough, and when she found out that he was really behind everything, behind everything that was keeping her awake at night for days, she wanted to scream. She wanted to ruin everything there was to ruin.

She thought that that was already it, that she could finally reach for her dreams easier this time, that no one would be on her way again. But he came back, and she felt like she just fell on a cliff that would be hard for her to climb back up.

Destiny was indeed a jerk. 

“Hey,” Harper said, getting my attention back. She was waving her hand in front of her face again. She hadn’t realized that she was spacing out again. “Hey, are you really okay? You really don’t loof fine, babe. I think you should sleep early tonight. I’ll drive you back home.”

She just stared at Harper’s face. She knew how to act very well, and she thought that she could just act as if she wasn’t affected by what she just knew about, but the shock and frustration were still reigning over her feelings. They were surely affecting how she was acting. 

But she knew that Harper was probably thinking that it was probably because she was nervous because even when she was known to be confident, it was a different scenario now. It was literally her first big break. She couldn’t blame her friend, though, as the girl had no idea about her relationship with Raphael before. The only person that she entrusted with the information was Ngel, no one else. That was how good they were hiding their relationship, just so no one else would know because it would’ve really been a disaster if someone else would know. 

Even Raphael’s close friends didn’t know, well, maybe they did, but certainly not in that manner.

What Harper knew was that she was just an admirer of Raphael because way back in college, Harper and Timothee weren’t really that close. They were already close when they were already graduating as the girl was a transferee, and she transferred schools when they were no longer together.

“Why does he want to talk to me? Did he tell you?” she asked, trying to shift the topic of the conversation. She placed her spoon and fork down before clasping both of her hands together in an attempt to stop them from trembling.

Haniel’s forehead was still creased, and her eyebrows were still furrowed, but when the girl saw the look of adamance in Tim’s face, she had no choice but to sigh in defeat. "As far as I know, he's the one who wrote the story of both of your characters, including the one that you read back then. He probably wants to discuss the whole thing with you."

She wanted to laugh.

Was that really how Raphael wanted to play the game? Just because he knew how desperate she was to reach for her dreams, and because he had the ability to manipulate things, he’d do that to her? 

Why? What did he want to happen? Did he want to broadcast all over the country how he kept her in secret, and how he left her as if she was a hot potato? Did he just tell her that he no longer wanted to see her? 

That was also probably the reason why she was accepted to play the role, and although she didn’t want to think about that, the probability of that happening was high. With all honesty, she really couldn’t think of any reason why the guy was doing that to her. She felt like she was back at headstart, not knowing what to think, and what to do. 

.As far as she could remember, she didn’t do anything wrong before. He just initiated the break up without really telling her the reason why. He said all of those hurtful words as if she was no one. 

"I’ll drive you back home. You really don't look well," Harper commented once again.

Tim let out a sigh, feeling the tears on her eyes wanting to fall, but she forced them not to because she wouldn’t be able to think of a reason why she’d be crying in front of her friend. 

She looked up to meet the eyes of Harper that had a hint of worry. “I want to drink. You may drop me on Magallanes, if it’s alright with you. It’s better because it wouldn’t be out of the way,” she said.

The girl’s eyebrows immediately furrowed after hearing what she said. “Don’t play games with me, Timothee. You know I won’t be able to accompany you there. I can’t just let you go alone.” She knew that the girl was busy, and she didn’t have enough time to drink with her which was good for Tim. 

She just smiled, showing that it was alright. “I’ll just call Ngel to accompany me. I think he’s not that busy today,” she convinced her. 

Harper stared at her with a meaningful look on her face, scrutinizing her. It was as if she was even reading her mind. She was complacent that her friend wouldn’t be able to know what she was thinking because who would even think that the screenwriter and her co-actor was her long-time boyfriend before? No one. She wouldn’t even think about that possibility.

"Why do you want to drink?" she asked, suspicious. 

She raised her eyebrows. "Uh...to celebrate?" she lied. At that moment, what she wanted to do was to get drowned by alcohol, and to no longer talk. It was like her energy was already drained, she no longer had the energy to argue with Harper more.

Fortunately, she allowed her to do her plan before letting out a sigh. "I’m still not convinced, but I know you know what you’re doing. Be careful, and make sure you’re with Ngel, okay. If not, call me. I’ll drive you home–"

“It’s fine. I’ll just take the jeepney to go back home if ever he’s unavailable. I no longer want to be a burden to you anymore, especially when you’re busy,” she cut her off. “Moreover, I can handle myself, don’t worry. You know me.” 

The girl just stared at her for a whole minute before letting out a sigh once more. "Okay, but please finish your meal at least. You shouldn’t drink with an empty stomach."

It seemed like she was out of her mind as they were on their way to Magallanes. She was just spacing out, looking outside the window, feeling the tightening of her chest. She would admit, there was a big part of her that still couldn’t believe that it was really happening to her. Because who would even think that it would? 

Harper dropped her on Magallanes, after she reminded her to call her once Ngel was already there. She also tried handing her, but she declined her offer as she was already feeling ashamed. She no longer wanted to feel even more pity towards herself. 

She wanted to call Ngel just for her to have a companion because truth to be told, she was afraid that she was alone, but she knew that the guy’s schedule was hectic, and he usually didn’t have enough sleep because of it. She didn’t want to be a burden to the guy. She no longer wanted to abuse his kindness even when the guy kept on telling her that she wasn’t abusing, and it was alright with him.

I typed a text for Harper, saying that Ngel was already on his way even when it wasn’t the truth. She just hoped that the girl wouldn’t call the guy to confirm that they were together or she’d be doomed. 

She decided not to think about it again. Maybe she’d think about it once it's happened already. What she really wanted to do was to drink.

She didn’t even hesitate to go inside the bar. She used to go there sometimes way back in college together with her friends. The difference was that she was alone, and she wasn’t there to enjoy. Even when she was literally having a big break in the industry, she still wasn’t happy. 

The moment she entered the vicinity, her heart beat harder because of the deafening noise from the big speakers. She gave herself a few seconds to get used to the sound and lights before starting to walk again. She was even having a harder time to breathe because of the deafening noise. 

She went straight to the bar counter, and the bartender turned to her, smiling. “What do you like to take, Ma’am?” he asked her. 

For a few seconds, her mind went blank, she didn’t know to tell her. She swallowed the lump on her throat before answering, "Kuya, I'd like something cheap but hard.”She no longer cared if the bartender would laugh at her for being so cheap. 

But the guy only smiled before giving her a drink.

"We also have beer in here, Miss, maybe you’d like it better," he suggested. Tim just nodded before taking the bottle of beer from him. nito sa akin. 

Timothee wasn’t a huge drinker, but at that moment, she no longer cared. 

Maybe they’d say that she wasn’t caring about her own safety, and she was even alone with the plan of getting drunk. But the truth was, she was nervous because even when she was hurt and confused, she still knew that what she was doing wasn’t a good and safe idea. There was a side of her that was urging her to call Ngel because she was really feeling nervous, but she stopped herself from doing so.

Whether it was right or wrong, she no longer cared. She wanted to get drunk. 

She drank the beer in consecutive times, Luckily, no one tried hitting up on her because she wouldn’t know what she’d do if anything tried, especially when she was alone. Maybe they could see the sadness and frustration in her countenance, she didn’t know. 

“Why are you alone, Tim?” he asked her after she told him not to call her ‘Miss’ because she felt awkward hearing it. 

She didn’t say anything because she could feel the tightening of her chest because of it. 

Her tears started racing down her cheeks as she drank the liquor that the bartender gave her, feeling the tingling sensation of the liquid going down her throat. She no longer minded the tears, and just let them fall.

She wasn’t even sure whether the money that she brought with her was enough to pay for every single thing that she drank, but at that time, it wasn’t her top concern, she didn’t care. What she wanted was to get drowned by alcoholic beverages rather than get drowned by sadness.

Why is it happening? Why like this, Raph? I didn’t do anything wrong to you before. What I did was love and give you respect. Why?

“If you still feel that till now, I think that it’d be best for you to let go of the memories that you two made,” the bartender, whose name she couldn't remember, said.

She looked at him with confusion in her eyes because of what he said, not until she realized that she probably said it out loud. She didn’t feel ashamed because of it, but she felt frustration and pity towards herself.

Maybe she hadn’t really let go of the memories that they shared completely. 

"That’s enough, Miss. I've been watching you from afar because I noticed that you’re alone, and I was afraid that something bad would happen to you. That’s enough. You’ve already drunk enough.” The one who talked, and took the glass from her hand was a stranger. He wasn’t familiar. 

She groaned because of that. Her world was already revolving, and she was already feeling the need to sleep. Maybe she hadn’t realized that she had already drank a lot. 

In one second, she felt a sense of nervousness, forgetting the reason why she was even there in the first place. 

She no longer knew what happened next because in an instant, the darkness had already starting to embrace her. The only thing that she remembered was his face that she last saw before blacking out completely.